THE TRUE BOOB

13 05 2014

This post is about The True Boob.

Credit to Bobos? who posted the Lacey Shabear True Boob analysis in the comments of the last post. That True Boob writeup is truly the greatest piece of investigative journalism i have ever read.

What is The True Boob?

Our mission statement: The motivation of the boobologist is to know what they look like. If we say we love boobs, we must love the boob, not the bra. A chest covered in rigid material that shapes the shirt over top is an illusion. And just as eternal life sells religion, cleavage is the trojan horse of a deceptive bustline. Don’t be fooled, no matter how sweet its nectar may look. It’s always better to know the truth. Let’s go and discover the true boob together.

The True Boob speaks to me. Because i love boobs.

As you know, Shabear is in my top 10 of people i want to bang. Despite the conclusion of the article which pretty much says that the Shabear pics from her Maxim spread are full of push up bra/possibly photoshop LIES, Shabear still remains in my top ten regardless.

I almost feel conflicted about someday being able to see her bare boobs, like how we did with Scarlett Johansson, to ultimately be disappointed if they didn’t live up to the imagination. Oh God that would be the worst.

I’d probably still fap, but DAMN, i don’t want to be disappointed! Like, i’ve only fapped twice to the Scar Jo pics! Twice! Now that’s how you measure disappointment.

Anyhow, great analysis of Shabear boobs. Wish there were more of that.

Wait what? There’s more?!

Why yes!

It isn’t just a once off thing and there’s actually a series of these True Boob investigative pieces! Huzzah! Only 4 at the moment but i’m pretty sure there’ll be more in the future, HOPEFULLY.

So far, there’s a True Boob on Jessica Alba (EURGHHH… Angelbaby would like this though)

There’s one on Katy Perry (OH YEAH BONER)

And one on Lindsay Lohan (……)

The Lohan one is pretty depressing when you start thinking about how awesomely booby she was 10 years ago way back in 2004 (which this very website seems to be stuck in). Lohan in 2014? Man, what a waste.

That said, i still fapped to her in that stupid movie she did where she got her boobs out.

This is a pretty accurate depiction of that fap.

You can keep checking back here for more True Boobs.



KRISTEN BELL AND SCAR JO NUDES!

22 04 2014

This picture is from the May 2014 issue of Allure. It almost looks too good to be true. Face looks photoshopped. But if it really is her, HER BOOBS LOOK BIGGER THAN I WOULD IMAGINE THEM TO BE.

Oh and better quality shots of Scarlett Johansson fully nude surfaced a day or two ago. Saw the shittier ones when they first popped up but they were too shitty to fap to. Thought about them again today and decided to google and see if better ones were out. And they are!

THESE i can definitely fap to.

Scarlett Johansson nude 1
Scarlett Johansson nude 2
Scarlett Johansson nude 3
Scarlett Johansson nude 4
Scarlett Johansson nude 5
Scarlett Johansson nude 6
Scarlett Johansson nude 7

We’re going old school today with just hyperlinks because REASONS.



CHLOE MORETZ

11 03 2014

Girl, you give me boners.

How old are you again?

EDIT: Apparently this picture has been photoshopped! Still would though.



I KNEW IT

14 02 2014

Ellen Page is a lesbian!

Always thought so and now she’s made it official.

In a speech at the Time to Thrive conference Friday, actress Ellen Page came out as gay. “I’m here today because I am gay,” she told the audience of LGBT youth at the Bally’s Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

Would still give her the D.

Also, i’m not ashamed to tell you that i totally fapped to her digital naked likeness from that Beyond: Two Souls game on PS3.

I’m uploading a video of it right now (her ‘naked’, not me fapping). Check back here in half an hour or so for the link.

UPDATE: Here’s the video!



I LOVE THIS IMAGE SO MUCH

24 12 2013

It’s almost timeless!

And then you think about how far Lindsay Lohan has fallen.

But happier times in 2004!

Lacey Chabert is so low profile, you never hear anything about her in the news. I didn’t even know she was in the November issue of Maxim this year.

There’s a video!

God damn she is so fetch.

(it’s gonna happen)

Also, is this what i think it is?

Hey so i got a PS4 over the weekend. Add me on PSN, Psyko_2000.

Happy holidays everyone!



LOL WUT

17 12 2013

I find it somewhat amusing that i have Wendy Calio following me on twitter.

I guess only people with kids who watch the Disney Junior channel will know who she is.

She’s cute on the show and i would totally bang* her.

Speaking of bang, i think she looks better with bangs. And i normally hate chicks with bangs. But it suits her better than when she doesn’t have them. Kinda like Zoe Deschanel.

RELATED: The Five Hottest Children’s Television Personalities (Wendy is #4 on this list)

(*would bang but would not put her in my bang list 10. which i’ll probably never get around to finishing, at the rate i’m posting, on this supposedly already dead site.)



HELO THAR

20 08 2013

So Avril has a new album coming in September.

Sigh…

avril kissin winnie

Yep, that’s exactly what it looks like. Avril is kissing Winnie Cooper. Because being a lesbian is SO PUNK. Here’s the rest of the video…

Yeah. So that just happened.

You’re welcome, Justin.



Alison Brie & Gillian Jacobs

16 04 2013

I’m certain that the photoshoot the Community girls did for GQ back in 2011 has been seen by everyone, but somehow I missed out on the video shot at the same time that didn’t hit the interwebs until the next year.

Yumb.

In a pleasing coincidence, Esquire just did a shoot/interview with Alison which hit the web yesterday.



WHACK-IT BRACKET

22 03 2013

Forgive the shameless shilling but i think this is worth sharing. So Mr. Skin is doing this Whack-It Bracket thing which will determine who has the best boobs ever based on user voting.

You’ll UNFORTUNATELY have to sign up (for free) to vote but even if you don’t, it’s worth a look just to see who’s going up against who.

Here’s what the bracket looks like. WHO WILL WIN.

And right off the bat, they’re already pitting 2 out of my 10 ‘Bang List 10′* chicks against each other. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHICH ONE TO VOTE FOR.

I’m just interested in seeing how it all pans out. Champion will be decided on April 7-9.

Click to see the match-ups.

*I swear i’ll finish off that list. Someday.

Just to recap, my Bang List 10 so far:

Amber Heard (who is also in one of the brackets!)
Lacey Chabert
Kristen Bell

And i guess i already gave away Jennifer Connelly and Carla Gugino but i’ll do proper posts for them someday. SOMEDAY.



Look who’s back!

19 03 2013

College Humor decided to make a 3-part Dora the Explorer live-action series with Ariel Winter. Squee!

Dora: “I haven’t needed a babysitter since the third grade!”
Diego: “That was last year!”

o_O