JESSICA CHOBOT IS IN ME3

1 02 2012

HOW IN THE FUCK.

This is actually WORSE than if they had gotten Olivia Munn to be in the game.

WHY.

Any news on whether she is fuckable in game?



THIS WOMAN, THIS JESSICA CHOBOT

14 01 2012

SHE IS STILL AROUND.

WHY IS SHE STILL AROUND.

WHY.

SHE EXISTS ONLY TO LICK GODDAMN PLAYSTATION PORTABLE PRODUCTS.

THIS WOMAN.

UGH.

UGH.



Jessica Chobot

15 07 2008

In honor of E3 week and the legions of girl gamers around the planet, I give you…

Jessica Chobot getting her bottom spanked at the end of a funny interview.


Naughty Chobot!



Jessica Chobot

8 11 2007

I realize this is a little late, but I figured maybe one or two other people might be interested in what kind of costume Jessica Chobot wore for Halloween this year…

…or maybe not. *shrug*

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Chobot as a flapper.

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Chobot on the crapper.

Yep, in her own blog Jess admits to reading manga on the toilet.

Fap? >_>



THAT JESSICA CHOBOT PROJECT

1 08 2005

HERE IT IS, AT LONG LAST. IT IS DONE. THE SUPER SECRET JESSICA CHOBOT PROJECT IS COMPLETE.

At the end of this post, you will find a hyperlink. It will take you to a page where you can play this super secret Jessica Chobot project. Yes! This super secret Jessica Chobot project… is interactive! It is… A GAME!

Instructions on how to play:

What? Who are you? Jessica fucking Chobot?? Fuck instructions! Real hardcore gamers don’t need instructions! You play by trial and error. Faggot.

So here it is. I give you:

CHOBOT INVASION



Jessica Chobot

18 06 2005

Jessica fucking Chobot. What a joke. I hate this girl with a passion. A BURNING passion. I cannot stand her. I can’t stand her FACE. I can’t stand her WRITING. I can’t stand her LAST NAME. What kind of a name is Chobot anyway? Eat shit Jessica CHOBOT. Eat shit and DIE!!!!!

OOOOOOHH JUST THINKING ABOUT HER MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL. OMG I HATE HATE HATE JESSICA CHOBOT. I only bring her up because a) i’ve been meaning to but i couldn’t control my anger enough before to write anything more than just FUCK YOU JESSICA CHOBOT 300 times at the time b) a reader mentioned her in an AIM conversation yesterday. He didn’t even have to say her stupid name. A fucking ‘JC’ was enough to tip me off to who it was. He was like “JC ownz”. No, FUCK JC AND HER STUPID PSP. Then we got into a debate about how i think the DS is kicking the fucking PSP’s ass in Japan and about how i think Jessica Chobot is a stupid fucking ugly whore.

So who the fuck is this JESSICA CHOBOT? You know that slore that licked that PSP and somehow got famous for fucking nothing? Yeah, that’s Jessica Chobot. Who the fuck gets famous for fucking licking a fucking PSP? If i stuck a PSP up my butt and e-mailed fucking Kotaku about it would that make me famous? Bullshit! That’s what it is! I never thought much of her when i first saw her licking that stupid fucking PSP. Then she somehow got on fucking Attack of the Show and even then i still didn’t give a shit. It wasn’t until IGN interviewed her did i realize how much i should have been hating her all this time. When she fucking dissed Reggie and Nintendo the way she did in that IGN interview, that just totally set me off. Who the fuck does she think she is??? I hope Reggie fucking kicks her ass and takes her name. And i’m SO glad to know that i’m not the only one who hates the stupid cunt.

That first reader e-mail… fucking says it all. SALUTE to you Mr. Gray. Tell it like it is!!!!!!

And fuck you Jessica Chobot! You’re not even hot! Whoever fucking thinks you are is GAY!!!!!!

Dream woman my ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NINTENDO RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE JESSICA CHOBOT HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Chobot of Thrones

9 03 2012

Does this make you rage out?

From Jessica Chobot@Jessica_Chobot

“When you play the Game of Thrones, I live and you die. ”

Annoying Chobot



Stephanie Chobot?

6 02 2007

pink wig = Justin wub

Jessica Chobot = Justin haet

Chobot + teh pink = ???

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I think Justin’s head may have just exploded.

ps. thx to Dexy for showing me Chobot’s pink.



CHOBOT MAILBAG!

22 08 2005

Like, literally. This is Chobot’s mailbag. Where i will be responding to Jessica Chobot responding to her reader e-mail. Which will probably only happen once. Unless she keeps responding to e-mails that mention my name or the Chobot Invasion game in them in any of her subsequent WTF articles.

Speaking of which, article and website names that use the F word in them are fucking stupid.

Hey Jessica, First off why would anyone want to hate you. You are the sexiest thing to ever happen to Insider. The guy that made the game is a dick. Plus the game sucks. I attend Full Sail in Florida and I just took a class all about flash. I can make something 100 times better than that and I can make is all about how great you are. I’ll get to work on it and share it with you when it is done.

Johnny.

Hey Johnny. I haven’t a clue why someone who has no idea who I am would hate me that much, other than it’s apparently real cool to hate things…like women (whatever). Dude-if you make a cool Flash game, I’ll totally post it. It doesn’t have to be all about how great I am though (well, maybe a little greatness wouldn’t hurt ;)

I kid… I kid…

“it’s apparently real cool to hate things”. Ya, like you hating on Nintendo you fucking bitch! AND DON’T YOU DARE PLAY NINTENDOGS. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO.

And ‘Johnny’. Shut up. You fucking brownosing little twat. What? You think you’ll get a blowjob if you make Jessica Chobot a flash game? Eat shit.

Technically, his e-mail was probably directed to Trip (the who actually made the game, READ THE END CREDITS), but i have no doubt in my mind that little Johnny thinks that i made it. I mean, everybody does don’t they? This fag thinks so:

That Justin kid must’ve been really friggin BORED. Because if he had time to actually make a game (insulting or maybe praising in a way) the beautiful Jessica Chobot, then he might need therapy or a good butt-whoopin!…….or just get laid…..wow. Shout out to Jessica and everybody helping at IGN, making my humble little brain an inch bigger one article at a time :)

(please write back if possible!!!!) jessica’s #1 fan

Mad Skater

Mad Skater,

Who knows what’s up with the enigma that is Justin. My guess is he wants his site to have hits, get semi-famous and has a secret crush on me. You just know he sneaks out of bed at 1am while everyone is asleep, and logs onto IGN Insider so he can read WTF and do God knows what else…

IGN Insider and myself shout right back out to ya’ Skater! Thanks for being such a fan!

Holy fucking shit. I just had flashbacks of reading the reader mailbag from GamePro magazine. Because this is exactly what a letter to GamePro would sound like. And buddy, i think little Johnny might be offended by your Flash game making statements! The only thing i concur about in your e-mail is the fact that you have a little brain. Although it’s actually getting an inch smaller each time you read another WTF.

And Jessica, i actually already have all the hits i could want and am actually already semi-famous to varying degrees. I do not however have a secret crush on you nor do i have an Insider account. And i’m usually masturbating at 1am*.

*this may or may not be true.

Oh and “(please write back if possible!!!!) jessica’s #1 fan”?

Holy shit.

From “Mad Skater”?

Definitely a 13 year old GamePro magazine reader.

Funniest string of comments from Chobot’s (aka Hatsumi) RAB blog:

  • Shake them haters off Hatsumi-chan… Akakage loves you.. yo go girl!!!!!
  • maybe they are gay or something..or perhaps have you beaten them in some online game??? ya think that’s the cause Hatsumi-chan??
  • You Are All Morons. Chobot is a middle aged white woman, why are you calling her Hatsumi-chan?
  • Well, it made me laugh.



    CHOBOT STRIKES!!!!

    12 08 2005

    Too bad Thank God you need an Insider account to read it. But if you have one (you poor unfortunate bastard), here’s a direct link to her latest ‘article‘.

    IT’S GO TIME* CHOBOT!!!

    *Butt Sex

    Edit:

    Updated link and text about the game!

    When Fanboys Attack-Flash Game: Chobot Invasion

    There’s a mangina out there by the name of Justin who has dedicated his every waking moment to being a Jessica Chobot hatemonger. Normally, one of two things would happen:

    1.) I’d be hyper-pissed and try and hunt him down and give him the whipping his little candy-ass deserves (and not the good kind of whipping that middle-aged men pay for on the sly. No, the bad kind that make your eyes dribble).

    -or-

    2.) I’d ignore it.

    But never have a come upon a third option until now. Be warned that there are some naughty words-so play at your own risk. Recently, the staff (along w/ myself) at IGN stumbled upon a game he has made dedicated to his hate: Chobot Invasion.

    (LMFAO-you know you’re doing something right when someone is so obsessed, they make a video game of you).

    So for all you guys out there who have been dying to shoot it at my face-here’s your chance! As for Justin, he gets the award for being the most creative hater out there, and the attention he’s been dying to have.