teh best!!1!~!

To: psykotik@gmail.com
Subject: You are the man (and woman)
From: Jake
Date: Tue, 04 May 2004 16:31:06 -0400

I love this site. I stumbled onto it a couple days ago looking at the statistics on Maddox, and it came at just the right time; I had just been forced to see Mean Girls with some friends of mine, and my love for Lindsay Lohan was just beginning (lol I talk about it like it was last year… this was like, yesterday). I read the older posts too, and you guys make awesome posts. I really enjoy reading this site, and I plan to keep reading it. I also put a link to your site on mine… my site is at www.jaked409.net… it’s a site full of quotes from AIM, and other shit that my friends (and other people now) think is funny. If you want to link back to me, I’d love it, but I won’t get all bent out of shape if you don’t (as long as you don’t stop the awesome posts and the Lindsay Lohan pictures).


Mean Girls is the best movie ever.

Next to Titanic and Bring It On of course.

Goddamn i love those movies.

Here’s some Hi Res Scarlett Johansson.

I wish she would just wear her hair down all the time. Like in Lost In Translation. That was teh hott.

Speaking of which, has anybody figured out what Bill Murray says to Scarlett at the end of that movie?

67 thoughts on “teh best!!1!~!

  1. Titanic! bwahahahahaha

    #1 | Comment by Donyo — May 4, 2004 @ 5:34 pm

  2. hey…i looked at all those pics and no lindsay…i think i am already suffering withdrawals…

    #2 | Comment by hitek — May 4, 2004 @ 5:35 pm

  3. I think Bill Murray whispered to her, "You’re not even going to get nominated by the Academy for this."

    #3 | Comment by Umgawa — May 4, 2004 @ 5:36 pm

  4. i miss lindsey Damnit

    #4 | Comment by -_- — May 4, 2004 @ 5:37 pm

  5. titanic AND bring it on? are you for real?

    #5 | Comment by ruzty — May 4, 2004 @ 5:43 pm

  6. nothing beats four rooms

    #6 | Comment by fing 11 — May 4, 2004 @ 5:56 pm

  7. Im funny put me on your loser page. Lindsay Lohan (to keep my streak of mentioning her name on my posts alive)

    #7 | Comment by DUDEMASTER — May 4, 2004 @ 5:59 pm

  8. P.S. damn that first Scarlett is ruined by Thom Filica the design guru from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (hes on the left) Ignore the fact I know that and dwell on the fact that hes in the picture and he ruined it. Lindsay Lohan

    #8 | Comment by DUDEMASTER — May 4, 2004 @ 6:06 pm

  9. Looks like scarlett got her bang on with benicio del toro



    #9 | Comment by Rush Limbaugh — May 4, 2004 @ 6:06 pm

  10. "You should have shown your tits in this movie. Don’t be so uptight."

    Actually, I heard from someone in the know that it was, "We will meet in a future life"

    #10 | Comment by chris — May 4, 2004 @ 6:10 pm

  11. well isnt that a nice see-thru blue dress her friend is wearing in pic 2 & 3…Nice nipple, bitch…they even have their arms around each other. Maybe they dyked it out after these pictures were taken.

    #11 | Comment by KB — May 4, 2004 @ 6:24 pm

  12. that yellow dress is killer. she has a really nice chest.

    #12 | Comment by lizzi — May 4, 2004 @ 6:27 pm

  13. so thats what breasts without freckles look like!!! and they are legal breasts too!! I’m glad we finally moved out of that "Lohan phase".

    #13 | Comment by fungi — May 4, 2004 @ 6:28 pm

  14. last scene, Lost in Translation, Bill Murray slowly whispering to Scarlett Johansson:

    "I want you to call your husband and tell him that you love him, okay?" [inaudible]

    "Okay." [audible]

    #14 | Comment by YBLalat — May 4, 2004 @ 6:28 pm

  15. last scene, Lost in Translation, Bill Murray slowly whispering to Scarlett Johansson:

    "I want you to call your husband and tell him that you love him, okay?" [inaudible]

    "Okay." [audible]

    #15 | Comment by YBLalat — May 4, 2004 @ 6:33 pm

  16. oopps.

    sorry about the double post.

    got distracted by Scarlett’s, uhm, dress.


    #16 | Comment by YBLalat — May 4, 2004 @ 6:35 pm

  17. No still in the Lohan phase. Lohan Lohan Lohan! Weeeeeee!

    #17 | Comment by DUDEMASTER — May 4, 2004 @ 6:39 pm

  18. YBLalat, that kind of works. do you know that for sure?

    like these pics. she’s just perfect head to toe. i even like the hair here.

    #18 | Comment by blackwhitetaupe — May 4, 2004 @ 6:50 pm

  19. I’m not sure about the entirety of the what Bob says to Charlotte, but I’m almost sure it begins with "Promise me…"

    #19 | Comment by Josh — May 4, 2004 @ 7:02 pm

  20. Maybe Benny del Toro turned her into "Girl Wearing A Pearl Necklace" muahahaha!!

    #20 | Comment by Weapon Of Mass-turbation — May 4, 2004 @ 7:24 pm

  21. WHen, ohh when will scarlett do a nude scene.

    #21 | Comment by Nukeman — May 4, 2004 @ 7:27 pm

  22. Benicio is an asshole. Nobody beats ME to the punch.

    She is fucking incredible.

    #22 | Comment by embus — May 4, 2004 @ 7:28 pm

  23. when you say MeanGirls is the best movie next to Bring It On you mean next to as in compared to right… Bring it on couldnt be a crappier move short of replacing all the cheerleaders with richard simon wannabes

    #23 | Comment by kayelemenohpe — May 4, 2004 @ 7:34 pm

  24. Hahaha wow I hope none of my friends see that e-mail. Thanks for putting it up though ๐Ÿ™‚

    #24 | Comment by JakeD409 — May 4, 2004 @ 7:46 pm

  25. oh thank Odin!!! It’s a freakin’ Scarlett update!!! Fucking awesome pics, Justin. You are the fucking man.
    And god damn fucking Benicio del fucking bastard! That’s fucking rude of him. He should leave the hot young chicks like Scarlett for odd young men like myself to pretend I’ll someday make sweet, sweet love to her without thinking about some old fucker’s shrivled cock being the precursor to my mighty climb to Mt. Johansson.
    That fucker.

    #25 | Comment by Doctor_Doom — May 4, 2004 @ 8:08 pm

  26. God I love that rack. And her lips. They look powerful. And I agree, hair down would be better for her….

    #26 | Comment by RobertBruce — May 4, 2004 @ 8:24 pm

  27. friend has a crappy nose job, and it looks from her nose like she has been snorting cocaine

    #27 | Comment by Rush Limbaugh — May 4, 2004 @ 8:34 pm

  28. That hit counter on jaked409.net is gay. It adds another hit everytime you hit refresh. 80,000 hits my ass.

    Thanks for the Scarlett pics big J

    #28 | Comment by Dex — May 4, 2004 @ 8:50 pm

  29. Damnit, i just went to jaked409.net or whatever and when you say it is inspired by Maddox it just makes me feel sorry for Maddox… Now rather then read your entire website i mearly went through a couple of pages and felt that i needed to tell you this… I will continue reading your webpage and hopfully be proven wrong

    #29 | Comment by kayelemenohpee — May 4, 2004 @ 9:12 pm

  30. i’d like to correct what i stated here before:

    "Promise me you will call your husband and say that you love him, okay? [inaudible]

    "Okay." [audible]

    thank you, Josh, for the "Promise me" part.

    to Blackwhitetaupe, I got the line from:


    Pretty sure about the last 6 words of the line.

    #30 | Comment by YBLalat — May 4, 2004 @ 9:20 pm

  31. Haha I’m sorry you don’t like it. That section isn’t supposed to be as good as maddox or anything, it’s just me letting off steam. And as for the counter, I put up an explanation.

    #31 | Comment by JakeD409 — May 4, 2004 @ 9:48 pm

  32. sorry dosnt cute it jackass! I did however enjoy the Pam Anderson sex tape so you are saved

    oh wait thats rite you had those stupid drawing in blue you made on paint hmm…
    you must be from north corolina or something

    step in to my office…. cause your fcuking fired!

    #32 | Comment by kayelemenohpee — May 4, 2004 @ 9:59 pm

  33. That’s not even really what my site is… read the quotes.

    #33 | Comment by JakeD409 — May 4, 2004 @ 10:07 pm

  34. I just jacked him up about 100 hits. He is ub4h str8 l33t. Naw just kidding, he doesn’t even like tha c0ck.

    #34 | Comment by Alias — May 4, 2004 @ 10:19 pm

  35. the quotes sucked even more then my ex girlfriend

    #35 | Comment by kayelemenohpee — May 4, 2004 @ 10:24 pm

  36. Hey guys, what’s going on?

    #36 | Comment by Seriously — May 4, 2004 @ 10:42 pm

  37. Also, I don’t think anyone’s supposed to know what Mr. Murrey said. It’s more artistic-like.

    #37 | Comment by Seriously — May 4, 2004 @ 10:43 pm

  38. Woooh, delicious! It’s amazing how the kahunas look so perfect in that dress. Don’t you just wanna squeeze em? You can all forget about Lohan now. No more freckley boobies for you!

    #38 | Comment by Gluteus Maximus — May 4, 2004 @ 11:00 pm

  39. She needs to let that hair fall around those perfect boobs.

    Nerds Away!!!

    #39 | Comment by bligityblah — May 4, 2004 @ 11:01 pm

  40. To quote jaked409.net

    "note: i am aware that this counter adds 1 hit for every refresh, i leave it that way because it makes me feel like a bigger man, ok?"

    Good thing you have a special section to thank people who helped you reach 10,000 refresh hits.

    #40 | Comment by Dex — May 4, 2004 @ 11:24 pm

  41. "Mean Girls is the best movie ever.

    Next to Titanic and Bring It On of course."

    Are you serious?
    And why is everyone making such a big ass deal about Lindsay Lohan? She’s not even that hot.

    #41 | Comment by wtf — May 5, 2004 @ 1:12 am

  42. a chick at my uni looks exactly like scarlett johanssan. no lie.

    #42 | Comment by john — May 5, 2004 @ 1:22 am

  43. What we need here are more pics of Mary-kate ans Ashleys huge canoe feet….mm I love those…..where’s my oar?

    #43 | Comment by talibanshee — May 5, 2004 @ 1:32 am

  44. I’ll never get over that I thought Thora Birch was sexier in that movie……then again Thora was actually putting out, so it makes sense that I would….

    #44 | Comment by Discommode — May 5, 2004 @ 1:54 am

  45. Van Helsing has Kate Bekinsale. She is hot!

    #45 | Comment by Shaded — May 5, 2004 @ 4:19 am

  46. Stupid question here but…first time on the site. Who’s the girl with the long dark hair to the left of Hillary Duff on the banner at the top of the page?

    #46 | Comment by name? — May 5, 2004 @ 4:39 am

  47. I wonder what Eve is up to? I just signer her guestbook whih took me a while to find since the Heratic thing is down…. does she still post… im not sure cause I only know what ive seen from checking random archives… any answers…

    #47 | Comment by kayelemenohpee — May 5, 2004 @ 4:49 am

  48. Better question: Who is the chick to the right of the Gilmore Girls chick on the banner? I’ve at least seen the rest of them before, but who let that fugly in the picture? Oh, and regarding Benicio del Taco, apparently he’s a notorious starlet stalker. I read in Maxim that he approached Ali Larter when she first got to Hollywood and simply handed her his room key and said "Room 214, sweetheart, fifteen minutes". Needless to say, he knows what celebrity is all about: getting booty!

    #48 | Comment by JR — May 5, 2004 @ 5:12 am

  49. actually, in interviews, she said tha Murray told a joke during that line. The director had no real line there and wanted it to be like that for artistic impact, but she really cheated since nothing was really written for the scene.

    #49 | Comment by clitcommander — May 5, 2004 @ 6:35 am

  50. since we’re moving on to new hot chicks, can we get some hi res Kristin Kreuk? And Scarlet does look awesome. Is the other chick like her sister? Theyve got the same nose.

    #50 | Comment by Outlaw Torn — May 5, 2004 @ 7:01 am

  51. Scarlett Johansson and Tara Subkoff at the 2004 Costume Institute Gala "Dangerous Liaisons" – Departures.

    Have no clue who Tarqa Subkoff is though.

    #51 | Comment by Serra — May 5, 2004 @ 8:13 am

  52. jaked409 rocks!

    #52 | Comment by a dumbass — May 5, 2004 @ 9:33 am

  53. I just don’t see what everyone else does I guess?
    I don’t think that she is all that hot. Sure I would let her ride my cock, but I could think of alot of other hotties that would be before her in line! Like LL!(even with all the freckles)
    Seacrest Out!

    #53 | Comment by BMitt — May 5, 2004 @ 10:39 am

  54. This may be off subject, but I remember seeing someone post a link to some site that hosted television episodes. I am looking for some smallville episodes that I missed. Can anyone help me out?

    #54 | Comment by Scott — May 5, 2004 @ 10:43 am

  55. Calm down JakeD409… we’re just messing with you. Except for hesey. I think he has a genuine hatred for you and your entire family.

    Some of those quotes are amusing, but overall, I don’t think you should have your counter as the first thing on the page (and make a big deal about the hits on it) if it’s a bitch counter that counts every refresh. It’s not funny, and it kinda makes you look like a hypocrite.

    #55 | Comment by Dex — May 5, 2004 @ 11:24 am

  56. Another thing…

    According to your counter stats http://tinyurl.com/39lh3, you created your counter on December 1st, and then RESET it on December 2nd. Which means you entered your own number for the counter to display. The thing is, you reset it to read 29,250 hits.


    #56 | Comment by Dex — May 5, 2004 @ 11:47 am

  57. Damn… you are way too critical. I’m not trying to like prove anything, the site is just for fun, and so is that section. Also, at the time, 10,000 hits was huge for me (it was going much slower than it has been recently)… is there anything wrong with that?

    #57 | Comment by JakeD409 — May 5, 2004 @ 12:06 pm

  58. jake im gonna have to agree with everybody else on this one…

    your site is a piece of shit. dont take it personal its just the truth.

    #58 | Comment by hesey — May 5, 2004 @ 12:08 pm

  59. Haha it’s fine with me… as I said, it’s for fun, I’m not exactly trying to do better than anyone or anything like that. Although I’ve gotten about 10 IMs from people in the last couple hours saying they got my site from here and they love it, so you’re not agreeing with "everybody". Oh well.

    #59 | Comment by JakeD409 — May 5, 2004 @ 12:12 pm

  60. sounds good im glad you understand.

    #60 | Comment by hesey — May 5, 2004 @ 12:16 pm

  61. DAMNIT JAKE you just dont get it do you… were gonna keep telling you your site sucks till you accept it or break down crying… its part of being an asshole addolesent so just make this easy on us okay… plus if they dont agree with what i have to say there either a retard or a commi either way their opinion dosnt count

    #61 | Comment by kayelemenohpee — May 5, 2004 @ 12:16 pm

  62. my goodness, does that woman even have nipples? I’d personally volunteer to investigate . . .

    #62 | Comment by chummyjigger — May 5, 2004 @ 12:38 pm

  63. Just figured I’d do my part and fight in JakeD409’s corner, as I enjoy the site very much. Hilarious quotes.

    #63 | Comment by Doctor_Doom — May 5, 2004 @ 12:47 pm

  64. Fuck all of you, Jake’s site is funny. So what if it isn’t fancy? It gets the point across, and the point is to log funny quotes. I like it.

    #64 | Comment by DarckkorioN — May 5, 2004 @ 12:48 pm

  65. Actually I created the counter in November 2002, and it was just a place for me to put up shit at the time, so it was getting like 5 hits a day (and people didn’t refresh, which is why it counted refreshes). The recreation and refresh you’re seeing is because a guy refreshed like 2000 times in a day (he left it on in Opera) and I recreated the counter to get rid of it. If I was going to reset it to make it seem like I had lots of hits that I didn’t have, why wouldn’t I reset it to like a few hundred thousand? Considering I’m at like 82,000 now, if I was going to cheat, I would’ve done it in a more significant way. And yeah the counter is in a dumb place, but I make the site primarily for my friends and myself, and they (and I) like it there, so whatever. And yes, I know you’re just messing with me.

    #65 | Comment by JakeD409 — May 5, 2004 @ 2:46 pm

  66. Hey I got this site from Maddox…buh damn leave Jake the hell alone. You guys are just so fuckin jealous that he made a simple site with very little HTML that’s really popular. His site might not be fancy and shit but he’s got really good content (ecspecially on the Why Everything I Hate Sucks page) that makes me (and about 20 other people I know) laugh my ass off. And I think he’s made it pretty clear that he started the site for himself and for his friends as a little amusing joke. God damnit you guys are such bitches. Okay well I now I’m feeling a lot less pissed then when I started this post, so I’m gonna go.

    #66 | Comment by Jessika — June 15, 2004 @ 4:53 pm

  67. Hey… message is for “fubar – omg masturbatory heaven
    … a chick at my uni looks exactly like scarlett johanssan. … And Scarlet does look awesome. Is the other chick like her sister?
    dontlinkthis.net/archives/1143 ร‚ยท Save”

    I have often wondered who this actor is. My daughter went to school with a girl who looks exactly like her. She would be 26 now and was attempting an acting career. Email me at ghollub@austin.rr.com and we can compare notes.


    #67 | Comment by Sonny — September 19, 2006 @ 3:24 pm

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