Luke Skywalker? Han Solo? Pffft. Sorely overlooked is the TRUE HERO of the original Star Wars trilogy, Wedge. Yeah, that’s right. Wedge. Wedge Antilles. By his actions and his words, he’s the one person the audience can truly relate to. Why? Well, during the famous climax of Star Wars, he makes some poor excuse and runs away. Who among us can say that, with Darth fucking Vader and half the imperial fleet behind them, they wouldn’t have done the same?
Then, during the final battle in Jedi, Wedge is the first to fly into the bowels of the Death Star. A heroic move? Or just the best way to escape the massive dogfight going on outside? And despite his being in first, how come it’s the Millenium Falcon and not Wedge that’s last out when the reactor blows? Throughout the three films, Wedge keeps his head down, and doesn’t risk his neck. He doesn’t kiss his sister either. My kind of guy.
Wedge in Star Wars. Status: sitting down. He manages to appear in all three films sitting down. From X-Wing to snowspeeder to briefing room to X-Wing again, he’s always polishing a seat with his ass.
Wedge in The Empire Strikes Back. Status: sitting down. Despite looking like he’s constipated, Wedge’s speeder kills one of the two trashed Walkers.
Wedge in Return Of The Jedi. Status: sitting down. Although, maybe he’s standing in the pre-battle briefing. Let me know if this man has legs.
As I googled Planet Psykotika… An early Justin website came up.
WHOA!
Wedge is cute.
#1 | Comment by JEJ — May 25, 2005 @ 11:13 pm
^ MY SECRET SHAME
#2 | Comment by Justin — May 25, 2005 @ 11:20 pm
http://cargobay.starwars.com/books/comics/xwing/b_c_xwrs_swxw1.jpg
#3 | Comment by Dex — May 25, 2005 @ 11:42 pm
#3 = nerd
#4 | Comment by Justin — May 25, 2005 @ 11:53 pm
Wedge is dreamy. Status: sitting down.
#5 | Comment by Ruprecht Jones — May 26, 2005 @ 12:07 am
On the imdb trivia page for Episode III it says Lucas offered the actor that played Wedge the chance to play Captain Antilles (whose ship containing the droids and Leia at the beginning of Episode IV) in the latest one, which I guess he declined.
I doubt they ever made a Wedge action figure, but I could be wrong…
#6 | Comment by al k holik — May 26, 2005 @ 12:11 am
wahahahahah that old site is hilarious!!! what a great layout!
#7 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — May 26, 2005 @ 12:14 am
There are Wedge action figures. Ebay!
#8 | Comment by JEJ — May 26, 2005 @ 12:15 am
Justin use to be gawthyk.
#9 | Comment by JEJ — May 26, 2005 @ 12:16 am
the guy who played wedge is ewan mcgregors uncle
#10 | Comment by Justin — May 26, 2005 @ 12:20 am
#10 = nerd
#11 | Comment by JVC — May 26, 2005 @ 12:35 am
If you had bothered to do some research in the extended universe, you’d know that Wedge is quite the action hero.
But yeah, always when he’s sitting down.
He’s like Sparks!
#12 | Comment by Seriously — May 26, 2005 @ 1:30 am
#12 = nerd
#13 | Comment by Justin — May 26, 2005 @ 1:41 am
Wedge blew up the second Death Star. Lando helped. Lando is black. ^_^
And now, bands that you should listen to… cuz i listen to them.
Korn
Limp Bizkit
Sevendust
Coal Chamber
One Minute Silence
Spineshank
System Of A Down
Rage Against The Machine
Staind
Dope
Godsmack
Static-X
Professional Murder Music
Orgy
Substance D
Powerman 5000
Deftones
#14 | Comment by Bubba — May 26, 2005 @ 2:53 am
1-14 are all nerds.
Nerds Away! ^_^
#15 | Comment by J-Mah — May 26, 2005 @ 3:05 am
#15
i was thinking the same thing
#16 | Comment by turtle — May 26, 2005 @ 4:41 am
David Reynolds is hawt.
#17 | Comment by Observant — May 26, 2005 @ 5:59 am
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/crime_starwars_dc
#18 | Comment by Ryan — May 26, 2005 @ 6:07 am
Boba Fett. Now there was a character that needed more screen time. He was the Dirty Harry of Star Wars. Hey Justin, heard there was a deleted scene from Closer where Natalie Portman does a strip tease. Anyone got the DVD to confirm that the scene is in the the Deleted Scenes part of the special features? Wanted to know before I buy it.
#19 | Comment by Fandango — May 26, 2005 @ 6:18 am
love #14!
#20 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — May 26, 2005 @ 6:25 am
Actually, Wedge’s X-Wing gets hit. Maybe not severely, since everyone else’s ships, including that fat-ass Red Leader, seems to explode on contact with tissue paper. But he does get shot, so he boogies. Purple Heart, here he comes. No point in getting splashed by Luke’s dad. Especially since nobody seems to be coaching Wedge on Death Star trench tactics via the post-death Force bandwidth.
To wit:
WEDGE: I’m hit! I can’t stay with you.
BARRY GIBB: Get clear Wedge, you can’t do any more good back there.
WEDGE: Sorry.
#21 | Comment by El Payo — May 26, 2005 @ 7:51 am
Wedge stands!
http://tinyurl.com/8n38e
Granted, you can’t see his legs, but he is presumably in a standing position.
#22 | Comment by HypCakes — May 26, 2005 @ 8:01 am
Wedge is my uncle.
#23 | Comment by Titleist — May 26, 2005 @ 8:43 am
#2, this site needs more chloe.
#24 | Comment by Titleist — May 26, 2005 @ 8:53 am
#21 = nerd
#25 | Comment by Justin — May 26, 2005 @ 10:33 am
yep Justin I had a ‘dork tag’ on that comment but the sitre wouldn’t accept it.
Imagine it looked something like this (/dork out)
#26 | Comment by El Payo — May 26, 2005 @ 10:35 am
wedge is so hardcore, he appears in almost every final fantasy game.
so does biggs.
#27 | Comment by Justin — May 26, 2005 @ 10:39 am
I love biggs’ mustache.
#28 | Comment by Observant — May 26, 2005 @ 12:23 pm
Then wheres Cid?
#29 | Comment by J-Mah — May 26, 2005 @ 1:09 pm
#30 – nerd
#30 | Comment by Dex — May 26, 2005 @ 1:25 pm
Porkins is the real hero.
#31 | Comment by radish01001 — May 26, 2005 @ 1:42 pm
nerds. all of you. these guys too.
star wars is the DEVIL
#32 | Comment by Justin — May 26, 2005 @ 1:47 pm
May the Force be with you.
#33 | Comment by JustSumDude — May 26, 2005 @ 2:58 pm
Use the forks.
#34 | Comment by Dex — May 26, 2005 @ 4:26 pm
oooooh. someone buy me that dancing jesus shirt plz.
#35 | Comment by Titleist — May 26, 2005 @ 9:00 pm
# 37 == nerd;
#36 | Comment by Seriously — May 27, 2005 @ 2:07 am
The first comment on this post reminded me of the first post in the archives.
“- 3:44pm @ June 12 2000 –
Started making the buttons on the nav bar. This site is coming along pretty well. I doubt it’ll be as successful as Planet Psykotika but hey, this is just an experimental site.”
Not as successful as Planet Psykotika … hilarity.
#37 | Comment by JustSumDude — May 27, 2005 @ 6:42 pm
All of the bands listed in #14 suck donkey cock.
#38 | Comment by AngelBaby — May 29, 2005 @ 10:05 am
You’re not really a Star Wars nerd if you dont already know that Wedge was played by Dennis Lawson and Dennis Lawson is Ewan McGregors Uncle.
#39 | Comment by mo-boobies — May 30, 2005 @ 4:14 am
Wedge Antilles proves that heroism in war will get ya killed. Hunker down, play it safe and let the Jedi do the work.
#40 | Comment by Steve Savage — February 20, 2006 @ 1:52 pm