The Ultimate Versus

Holy shit. Where the hell have i been? I knew that he was working on this but i didn’t expect it to be all done! I thought he’d be too busy making the new Godzilla movie.

I’m talking of course about the new extended cut of Versus: The Ultimate Versus.

It’s fucking 50+ bucks if you get the legit region 2 DVD. But only 20 bucks for the bootleg off of eBay.

Strangely enough the bootleg cover looks a little cooler than the legit silver one. But that’s probably because i like purple. It’s my favorite color ya know. Did you know that purple is the gay pride color? Yeah, that’s pretty fucking gay.

So what’s new this time around? They went in and reshot a couple of the scenes (4 years after the movie’s original release!) and the movie is now 10 minutes longer with extended fight scenes, new music and the newly shot scenes edited in and old scenes remixed.

The bonus disc includes over two and a half hours of extras, including never-before-seen footage (21 mins.), deleted scenes, a previously unpublished making-of featurette (10 mins., shown previously only at the preview right after completion, “Behind Versus Part 1: The Birth of the Darkhero (27 mins.),” new making-of featurette “Behind Versus Part 2 – Versus the Legend (46 mins.),” “Nervous 1 (7 mins.),” “Nervous 2 (16 mis.),” “The Making of Nervous 2 (1 min.),” Trailers, and much more!

My vagina is officially wet!

Just in case you missed it the first time, here’s a checklist of things you’ll find in this movie (if you haven’t already seen it):


Sword fights? Check.
Gun fights? Check.
Martial arts? Check.
Duel featuring a healthy mix of all three? Check.
Pistols? Shotguns? Automatics? Check, Check, Check.
The biggest fucking gun you’ve ever seen? Check.


Zombies? Check.
Zombies bursting out of the ground? Check.
Zombies with samurai swords? Check.
Zombies with guns? Check.
Zombies with limbs falling off? Check.
Zombies doing the zombie shuffle? Check.
Zombie killed every 3.4 seconds? Check.
Zombies comically outwitted into shooting each other? Check.
Zombie disemboweled with a hail of bullets? Check.

Severed Heads

Severed head used as melee weapon? Check.
Severed head used as projectile weapon? Check.
Severed head used for defensive purposes? Check.
Severed head kicked like a soccer ball? Check.
Severed head kicked clean off shoulders? Check.

Characters (wait, this film had characters???)

Badass, tough-as-nails hero clad in leather trench coat, with rugged good looks and I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude? Check.
Annoying, bungling, rat-like guy inserted for comic relief? Check.
Quiet, bishonen guy with pretentious glasses? Check.
Eccentric, overconfident sub-leader knife-expert guy? Check.
Requisite badass pouty goth chick? Check.
Super-powerful demon guy ten times better than all these chuckleheads? Check.


Cannibalism? Check.
Vampirism? Check.
Someone spitting out a pint of blood every 5 seconds? Check.
Good guy punching out the girl he’s trying to save? Check, Check and Check.
Futuristic hi-tech samurai sword with laser sight? Sure, why not.

Mmm. Wet vagina.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *