To: webmaster@psykotik.zzn.com
Subject: Battle of the Bruces
From: “Jimbo” omgyoufoundoutyouwinprize!
Date: Sun, May 19 2002 2:01:07 PM +0100

Who would win in a fight: Bruce Lee, Bruce Willis, or Bruce Campbell? It’s a tough call, so I thought I’d ask an expert. Anyone who runs a kick-ass site like yours should be able to help me out here.

keep on rocking

Dear Jimbo,

First off, you drink too much.

Secondly, Bruce Lee would make mince-meat out of the other two. And it’s not because he knows martial arts. It’s because he knows martial arts, and he’s dead!

Sure, zombie hunter Bruce Campbell has a chainsaw for a hand. But even a chainsaw is no match for a muscle-bound, double nunchuck wielding Zombie Bruce Lee. He’ll butterfly kick the brain right out of Campbell’s head and then EAT IT.

I suppose Willis does have that little snot nosed sidekick who can see dead people. But I don’t remember hearing the kid say “I see dead people, and i can kick their dead ass.” Especially not if the dead guy is Bruce Lee.

Besides, if this guy couldn’t beat him, how could anyone?


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