I have to ramble on a bit before I get to the point. The boy and I watched a movie that he picked up (for me). Some crap teen flick, not all bad, some laughing was involved. I was a little disappointed that his version of ‘my kind of movie’ slash chick flick was so … teenish. Afterwards I quickly put the DVD away as to avoid having to see any more smiling happy faces. I generally don’t enjoy films with a >17 rating.
A video came on while I was surfing – Naked Lunch “God”, which is basically, IMHO, a Pink Floyd/Rammstein rip. I was reading Rentboy Diaries and Girl With a One-Track Mind among other things. And as with any sex blog, there has to be a rehashing of the first sexual encounter.
I guess it was the lethal mix of teenie entertainment paired with reminiscent music that brought me back to my teen years and the early dating / sexual experimentation that followed. It dawned on my that I really miss just making out. What happened to getting totally wet, electrified, red-lipped, blanket-tossing making out sessions without sex? I have something that a lot of women would want, I have my sweety the whole day, morning to night. The term ‘sweety’ in reference to ‘morning’ and ‘night’ is used loosely. 24h companionship doesn’t make me want to call him or anyone sweety anymore. I never have the chance to miss him. We wake up together, we go to work together, we come home together, we sleep together.
The excitement in missing someone and having to wait for the work day to end to see that special person is over with. There is zero excitement now. I can make a list of possible things he will eat and/or drink in the morning. I know every gesture, every movement. It is a very routine life. When I ask him what he’d like to do on the weekend I already know what places he will suggest. It’s only in bed, I worry if he’s going to pull one of his new kama sutra inspired freak positions and I’m going to have some kind of nasty muscle ache the next day. That’s about as spontaneous as it gets.
That brings me back to the real point – I miss being single. If not single, then not so at-the-hip attached. Just making out, that’s what I miss the most.