Ooooh so Kristen Bell’s doing a movie with the sister fucker from Lost. I’d heard about the movie but didn’t know who was in it until now. Oh and it’s apparently another American remake of a Japanese horror flick. It’s called Pulse. The original’s called Kairo.

The remake looks pretty good. I’ve seen the DVD of the original on store shelves but haven’t actually watched it. But i’m probably better off seeing the remake first, rather than the other way around. Although the original seems to be already pretty good as it is…

But yeah, Pulse. I wanna watch it solely for the potential nip slip potential of this particular scene.

There has GOT to be some Kristen Bell nipple in that shot. GOT to be.

And so, i got this email the other day from some guy who had an issue about me being creeped out by the ending of Oldboy. Funny because i don’t think i’ve ever even discussed that movie on this site. At least not at length. Maybe i have but i know i was never ‘creeped out’ by it. It’s shocking, like a punch in the gut kinda shocking, like Skeleton Key OMG! shocking, but definitely not creepy. So i have no idea where this dude got the idea that i was creeped out by it. But hey, if you can find where it is that i said it was creepy, then i’ll eat my words.

Oh. Oldboy spoilers abound in the e-mail to follow.

I’m writing about Oldboy and how you’re a total fucking wimp if you were freaked out by it. I can’t beleive you talked so much shit about American horror movies.

I mean if someone spends like 5 million dollars in a plan that involves everything up to and including hypnosis than thats a free pass to fuck your daughter as far as I’m concerned, thats just the way it is. The creepy part of incest is violating the trust and the relationship that exists between a daughter and a father, the creepy part is consciously going against something that is taboo in just about every society that ever exsted. Being tricked into it is not creepy.

The only genuinely creepy idea is that some event that the main character forgot about because he considered it inconsequential could make the villain so angry that he would do all this.

Have you seen the South Park episode “Scott Tenorman must die.” Thats freakier than Oldboy. I wont spoil it for you, but if you havent seen it its on Emule and I reccomend downloading it. Juding my your reaction to Oldboy it’ll probably make you shit your pants.

And then the ending ending, I mean on the simplest level its another free pass, with all teh shit hes been through, if he wants some guilt free daughter fucking, thats ok. Its not like hes turned on by the fact that shes his daughter. Right? Maybe he should have gotten a vasectomy first, I’ll give you that.

And if you look at on a deeper level, the heros flaw throughout the movie is that his dogged pursuit of truth hurts him and those around him. I mean when hes talking with the guy and he says “you could kill me, and that would no longer be able to kill everyone you ever love, but then you wouldn’t ever know the truth” and he fucking lets him go. (ANdi think, even if he were to let him go, he should’ve at least used the oppurtunity to try to take out the little blonde guy). And another example of the self-destructive/stupid pursuit of truth is when he geos back to the prison place and he doesnt even think to let out the other prisoners and fights everyone off himself (which admittedly was pretty cool). But then, in the end, when he cuts off his tongue, he realizes that sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is keep the truth from them. ANd then, in the end end, by hypnotizing himself he shows that he no longer thinks the truth is the most important thing in his life and that if the truth hurts himself and those he loves he has to be willing to let it go. So thats not creepy, thats just being mature and reasonable.

I took you on your word that asian people were like totally crazy. American movies are stale to me because I know where the boundaries are, both consciously and unconsciously. Im gonna watch some more of these asian ones and eventually it’ll be the same thing with them, and I really think those boundaries will end being more conservative than the American ones. Can you reccomend something really scary/freaky? (No tentacle porn) Im gonna watch three extremes next.

P.S the fact that asian people all bear a freakish resemblence to one another may have hindered my ability to follow the story line. And the grammar sucks because I’m lazy. And I’ve never actually seen an american horror movie, so maybe you’re right about asian horror movies merits relative to AMerican ones, but they’re still NOT FUCKING SCARY OR CREEPY.

I actually PREFER most American horror flicks to Japanese ones. At least in terms of production values. I rarely find either to be TRULY scary, especially with some of the ones from Asia, because really, it’s hard to be creeped out by little boys in bad makeup like in the original Ju-on.

I haven’t seen The Grudge yet but i hear it’s crap. The Japanese version bored me to tears so much, i turned off the DVD halfway through. So i’m not exactly a fan of the series, much less interested in finding out if the remake is any better.

But rom my experience and what i’ve seen, American remakes are usually slightly better (at leas in my eyes) than their Japanese counterparts. Prime example being The Ring. A roommate of mine told me Ringu was the scariest shit ever. I watched it and was bored to tears. ZZZZZ. Scary my ass. Wish i’d just waited for the remake because that flick was slicker, scarier and so much better. Not that i would’ve been scared (it takes a lot to scare me) but it’s definitely scarier compared to the Japanese original.

If the Japs (and/or Koreans and/or Chinese and/or Thais or whoever) had the budgets of Hollywood productions, then maybe they’ll be able to REALLY scare me shitless. But really now, the kid in Ju-on was just laughable. A girl friend of mine thought that movie was shit your pants scary. NOTHING about that movie was scary.

Maybe it’s only scary if you’re a girl. Maybe girls are just pussies when it comes to horror movies. And i’m not just talking about American girls. Asian ones are pussies too.

And it’s not even just Asian horror that they find to be supposedly scary. Some people find American horror scary too. But TCM ’03; scary??? Please.

And Asian horror? Pfft. Asian horror is so samey these days. It’s always some fucking long haired female ghost that doesn’t even actually physically hurt anybody and is usually just trying to get the living hero/heroine to help them out right a wrong in their previous life or something. ZZZZZZZ. I’m tired of long haired ghosts! Hell, they even made a movie about long haired ghosts in The Wig! How’s that for milking long haired ghosts.

There’s only been a few Japanese movies (or other Asian horror movies in general) that have genuinely ‘creeped’ me out.

At the top of my head: Audition from Takeshi Miike.

You mention Three Extremes (which Miike made a short for).

I actually bought one of Miike’s films on DVD last night. City of Lost Souls. Haven’t seen it yet but it’s not a horror flick. Takeshi Miike generally makes some of the most fucked up movies ever but they can be a bit hit or miss sometimes. Audition: fucking awesome. Visitor Q: fucking fucked up. His entry in the Three Extremes flick: extremely disappointing.

Dumpling was my personal favorite out of the Three Extremes. With Chan-Wook Park’s Cut coming in second. Which reminds me, i really need to watch Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance. I’ve actually had it on my hard drive for like 2 months now. Is Sympathy for Lady Vengeance out yet? I really wanna complete watching the ‘trilogy’ (Mr. Vengeance, Oldboy, Lady Vengeance). But anyway…

It’s funny that you find American horror to be all samey because that’s exactly how i feel about Asian horror. In the end, i find neither to be truly scary or creepy anymore. It’s only on very rare occasions that i do.

Anyhow, i don’t really have any good recent Asian flicks (horror or non horror) to recommend right now. Haven’t really been watching much of them lately. I’ve got The Myth and Seven Swords on DVD but i haven’t actually found the time to sit down and watch them.

The last real Asian movie i saw (though technically it’s an American production) was Saving Face. But it’s totally a chick flick (BUT WITH NAKED LESBIANS IN IT) so i dunno if anybody’s really interested in wanting to watch that (EVEN WITH NAKED LESBIANS IN IT!!!).

Having seen it though, i totally have the yellow fever for both Michelle Krusiec and Lynn Chen now. Lynn Chen is fucking HOT in the movie.

But hey, try hitting up TwitchFilm.net to see what’s good and what’s new in the Asian movie industry (and around the world).

36 thoughts on “PULSE

  1. First

    #1 | Comment by Adam — December 2, 2005 @ 8:29 pm

  2. sorry Adam, but you fail at being first since you had nothing else to add to the thread. douches can’t be first…it’s a rule, look it up.

    i saw the trailer for Pulse before Saw II (i think), and it looked pretty cool. i’ll definitely see it.

    oh, and i think i might just rent Saving Face as well. it sounds very socially conscious.



    #2 | Comment by AngelBaby — December 2, 2005 @ 10:57 pm

  3. Sorry Angelbaby, but you can’t be first if you tell the poster before you that he’s not first due to a technicality.


    #3 | Comment by Nerima — December 2, 2005 @ 11:27 pm

  4. hmmm…isn’t that what you just did #3?




    #4 | Comment by AngelBaby — December 2, 2005 @ 11:41 pm

  5. HAving not seen the movie I don’t care.


    No tecnical fouls!

    #5 | Comment by MiamiPete — December 3, 2005 @ 1:07 am

  6. I’m sorry this time but I’m too lazy to read all the post. Anyway, I think that American remakes are lame comparing to their Asian counterparts

    #6 | Comment by daserca — December 3, 2005 @ 1:14 am

  7. As for Kristen Bell nip-slips, I’ll be happy to watch this movie for one, but it already slipped out in Spartan.

    #7 | Comment by G — December 3, 2005 @ 1:49 am

  8. I love Kristen Bell.

    I love Veronica Mars.

    I love Kristen Bell’s nipple.

    I love the way they talk about Veronica’s breasts on every episode of Veronica Mars this season.


    #8 | Comment by Nerima — December 3, 2005 @ 2:47 am

  9. The ending of Oldboy was pretty fucked up, but it wasn’t scary or creepy. Miike’s entry in Three Extremes was teh crap, but the others were at least interesting. Dumpling was probably the most screwed one, but I liked Cut, the one with the couple tied up in the room the most. I think I liked it the most because of the cinematography, especially with the black and white tiles which always create a cool visual. Plus the wife tied up with piano wire was really interesting, like a huge marionette. I thought Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance sucked; it just wasn’t as interesting as Oldboy.

    The only Asian movies I’ve seen recently that I like are In the Mood for Love and 2046. Speaking of which, did you ever see 2046 Justin and if so did you like it?

    #9 | Comment by Elder Young — December 3, 2005 @ 3:53 am

  10. The vaginal bleeding was scary. Eating fetuses wasnt.

    Someone probably could have made a genuinely scary movie about the pathetic shit women actually do to try to stay young.

    Can someone explain to me the endings of Cut and Box? I think in Box the idea was that the psycho guy succeeded in getting the director sin even when it was no longer neccasary, but that doesnt explain why he thought his wife was the little girl/boy.

    #10 | Comment by Guy — December 3, 2005 @ 4:29 am

  11. I think Box was the Miike one with the girl who had nightmares about causing a fire that led to her sister being burned alive in a box. I have no idea what was with the ending of that one, but I think that the whole thing was just a nightmare and her sister was really alive because they were conjoined twins.

    As far as box goes, I guess the director went crazy and thought he was saving his wife by killing the little boy, but it was actually his wife. That’s the only explanation I can think of, and it’s not a very good one.

    #11 | Comment by Elder Young — December 3, 2005 @ 4:36 am

  12. For fucked up and disturbing, Ichi the Killer wins, hands down. Oldboy was good, but the ending left me a bit disappointed, somehow.

    The thing with Asian (especially Japanese)horror movies is the pacing. The pace of a movie like Ringu and the Grudge series is just too slow for North American tastes. We’ve all been brought up on zombies, slashers and mutants as what scares us, not lost souls and puddles of water. The slow pace of, say a movie like the Grudge just ruins what was otherwise a great concept. And the problem with the American remakes is that they take the same script, the same director and re-shoot it almost frame by frame without adding anything new to the mix.

    #12 | Comment by Smiley — December 3, 2005 @ 4:58 am

  13. The scariest thing I’ve ever seen wasn’t a movie, but my IRS audit…

    Serious bloodletting…

    #13 | Comment by crabby — December 3, 2005 @ 4:59 am

  14. the wife in box is actually the same actress that played the daughter in oldboy. she was barely recognizable in box. i didn’t even know it was her.

    #14 | Comment by Justin — December 3, 2005 @ 7:55 am

  15. Bah no nipple, no reason to see the remake. She’s totally wearing something.

    Justin loses.

    #15 | Comment by ninbw — December 3, 2005 @ 1:28 pm

  16. Again.

    #16 | Comment by kiko — December 3, 2005 @ 9:30 pm

  17. I wish they would stop remaking movies that were great in the first place. Fuckers. (see, re: Dark Water, The Ring, Kairo, The Grudge, probably Battle Royale, likely The Eye…)

    #17 | Comment by lessthanzero — December 4, 2005 @ 2:36 am

  18. Miike’s Audition wasn’t creepy, in my opinion. I find it slow, as are most Asian horror movies. But one word I could use to describe it is ‘disturbing’; It’s magnitude similar to that of Battle Royale. All That Blood, ya know?

    And Oriental Girls grinning while they kill… *brrrr*

    However, I feel that Asian Horror Movies are being replicated by the West because they thought of the ‘Phantom Horror’ before the West? And the audience finds this appealing, hence the remakes? My movie education is not that extensive, so perhaps my perception is faulty. However, ‘Western Horror’ has always been ‘slash and gore flicks’ as compared to ‘Eastern Horror’s’ ‘Ghosts and Phantoms’.

    It will be interesting to see a western remake of Battle Royale. How Hot Would The Kids Be?

    #18 | Comment by zecchino — December 4, 2005 @ 10:51 pm

  19. This is totally off topic, but, some things have to be asked.

    Justin, are you familiar with Capitol FM? Its in Miri I believe. I heard the Sultan banned it cos they spoke English. Is that true? If so, Sultans a lamer…

    #19 | Comment by Zahid — December 5, 2005 @ 5:13 am

  20. lolz that’s the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever heard. come on now… banned for speaking english? if he wanted it banned, he would have done it like 13 years ago or however long it’s already been around, and probably not have brought it into the country himself in the first place if he did.

    and there will never be an american battle royale remake because americans just dont like school children killing each other (hello columbine!)

    #20 | Comment by Justin — December 5, 2005 @ 6:35 am

  21. Okay, cool. But, Capitol is off the air, right?

    #21 | Comment by Zahid — December 5, 2005 @ 6:39 am

  22. apparently it was ‘discontinued’ starting dec 1st without any prior announcement.

    lots of people have been complaining about it too.

    #22 | Comment by Justin — December 5, 2005 @ 6:43 am

  23. FIRST!

    #23 | Comment by dumdadum — December 5, 2005 @ 7:34 am

  24. Ichi is the best Miike film in my opinion. Only one that can gross the hell out of me and make me laugh my ass off. But ‘Gozu’ was fucking WEIRD and is definitely the one to go to for shock/gross out/horror value.

    Has anyone seen 1-Ichi? The prequel? Looking to buy it, want to know if it sucks (especially as there’s no Kakihara in it)…

    #24 | Comment by lessthanzero — December 5, 2005 @ 9:31 am

  25. and since I just noticed it, #20, Tarantino mentioned how cool it would be to remake BR not long ago, so it’s a *possibility*…

    #25 | Comment by lessthanzero — December 5, 2005 @ 9:36 am

  26. #25 – I hope Tarantiono is re-making Battle Royale. At least with him behind it, you’d be guaranteed at least two things: a great script that’s just not a re-hash of the original and great performances.
    The worst thing that can happen is to turn it into a PG13 movie starring “today’s hottest young stars”, water down the violence/social satire and market it to the teen set.

    #26 | Comment by Smiley — December 5, 2005 @ 10:13 am

  27. Is it true the Sultan fucked Jennifer Love Hewitt after she attended his son’s birthday party?

    #27 | Comment by Nerima — December 5, 2005 @ 12:09 pm

  28. the sultans playboy brother more likely. i hear he’s got a yacht called tits with two boats on it, nipple I and nipple II.

    #28 | Comment by Justin — December 5, 2005 @ 12:12 pm

  29. Jennifer Love Hewitt’s such a whore! That’s hot!!

    #29 | Comment by Smiley — December 5, 2005 @ 12:39 pm

  30. I invites you to visit my love poems blog on english at http://catmanenglish.blogspot.com

    #30 | Comment by catman — December 5, 2005 @ 6:20 pm

  31. Did you watch “Scott Tenorman Must Die”? Its pretty awesome.

    #31 | Comment by Guy — December 5, 2005 @ 6:42 pm

  32. Regarding a recent royal wedding:


    Justin, do you get free housing and welfare???

    #32 | Comment by Nerima — December 6, 2005 @ 2:27 am

  33. What the FUCK?

    Anyway, here’s the news story.

    Brunei is an absolute monarchy, with a comprehensive welfare system for its people, including virtually free housing, courtesy of its oil billions.

    But the House of Bolkiah is not as rich as it once was and the private wedding ceremony had but a shadow of the opulence of previous family celebrations.

    In 1996, Michael Jackson was flown in to perform for the people of Brunei for the sultan’s 50th birthday, and the marriage of his eldest daughter the same year was marked with concerts by Stevie Wonder and Whitney Houston.

    But the Asian financial crisis of 1997-8, followed by years of low oil prices, brought the sultan’s global wealth ranking down tens of places.

    His brother, Prince Jefri, lost billions more, squandering the money on a string of acquisitions around the world including a super-yacht called Tits, complete with two tenders, Nipple I and Nipple II.

    #33 | Comment by Nerima — December 6, 2005 @ 2:28 am

  34. fuck u bitch u sukin fuk did u fukin pussy ass cok greltcher esau dumpsterill fuk throw u in a dumpster u mental retardation COK

    #34 | Comment by Jessica Lardcok — December 10, 2005 @ 4:56 am

  35. yo u fukin suk fuk yo..1 time my friends threw me in dumpster i said yo..see..yaa..yo..i could awfully sue a cute dsik in my ass

    #35 | Comment by Jessica Lardcok — December 10, 2005 @ 4:57 am

  36. dunno about the rest of u but little children are scary as hell… make them twins, in white dresses and damn thats some messed up shit right there… didn’t see the grudge, dont think they could of improved the original much though, ringu was boring as hell and nowhere near as good as the ring (hmm girl, white dress what a shocker)

    #36 | Comment by DJammy — December 16, 2005 @ 8:33 pm

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