12 12 2006

Jessica Chobot you fucking noob. What the fuck are you doing playing a Nintendo Wii. Go back to playing your fucking PSP you fucking Sony whore!


What a fucking idiot.

This past Thurs I was playing Wii baseball with a friend of mine. I was losing badly and getting VERY angry. Even though I know that I don’t actually need to literally pitch in order to get the ball across the plate, I was so frustrated I did just that. With all my might. And promptly slammed my hand (and Wii controller) into my oak coffee table.

The Wii broke apart, cutting the inside of my finger (that’s right-the Wii drew first blood!) and leaving me to gasp in pain (the kind of pain that hurts so bad, you don’t even make a noise at first). I seriously thought I had broken my finger. I mean I REALLY slammed my hand. I figured it was broke (especially as it started to swell up and throb in time to my heartbeat. It was too late to go to the doctors, so I just bandaged it up as best I could, popped a few Aleve and figured I’d see if it was worth going to the DRs in the morning.

It was. Although the swelling had gone down, it still hurt pretty bad. I could kind of bend it and knew it wasn’t broken, but I figured I might as well use up those IGN bennies before the year was out and toted myself off for a few x-rays.

Turns out it wasn’t broken, just a little sprained and badly bruised.

FUCK. I was hoping it broke.

Reactions to her stupidity:

  • *LMAO!!* HaHa! She hurt herself!
  • It’s amazing that competent adults can still not follow the safety warnings that are rampant amongst the Nintendo manuals and on-screen instructions. If you had a table in the way you deserved what was coming to you.
  • She totally deserves it for being so dumb.
  • Personally, I’d like to see her get the Zelda Eye, and maybe get electrocuted while attempting to blow some more consumer electronics. Hey, I’m not being mean, in fact I’m rather forgiving. It wouldn’t hurt her half as much as her writing/”reporting” hurts my brain.
  • She should stick to doing what she knows. i.e. wearing a bikini and doing pointless interviews with game producers for games she knows nothing about because they aren’t on PS2.
  • PS: Lay off the makeup the fugly old wrinkly leathery whore.

    In case you missed it the first time, you can play the CHOBOT INVASION game here. CHOBOT MUST BE DESTROYED.


    Post Info

    22 responses to “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!”

      12 12 2006
    • 1.  Xan (11:03:14) :

      who is she anyway?

    • 12 12 2006
    • 2.  DisconcertedGeorge (11:05:53) :

      her career is over! Without her trigger fingers how can she play games? What will she do now? Noooooo!

      She’ll have to go back to licking the controllers. Her tongue is where her real talent lies anyway.

    • 12 12 2006
    • 3.  AngelBaby (11:34:12) :

      “ow i brokeded my fingar”


    • 12 12 2006
    • 4.  Observant (11:51:36) :

      Yesterday while playing tennis I smacked my left hand with the remote as it wandered in the path of my forehand (I have no clue what is was doing over there). Did I stop? Hell no. Not only did I win the point, but beat the highest level AI in stright sets.

      Coffee tables have no place in the Wii owner’s home.

      Also, Chobot is looking haggard.

    • 12 12 2006
    • 5.  Xan (12:15:24) :

      im not getting where all the hate for her is coming from.

      fill me in?

    • 12 12 2006
    • 6.  El Payo (12:31:05) :

      I’ll quote the master, Charlie Sheen:

      “My sister wears too much eye makeup. People think she’s a whore.”

    • 12 12 2006
    • 7.  DisconcertedGeorge (12:32:45) :

      search Chobot on the right side of the page.

      See her PSP licking skilz!

    • 12 12 2006
    • 8.  DisconcertedGeorge (12:34:44) :

      #6 doesn’t Charlie mean

      “My girlfriend wears too much eye makeup. She is a whore.”

    • 12 12 2006
    • 9.  deedas (13:15:37) :

      No clue who this chick is but I’d tap it. Wait, maybe I should see those bikini pics before saying that.


    • 12 12 2006
    • 10.  Kito (19:04:21) :

      What a fucking dumb bitch. If only her fingers had broken so we’d never have to see her ass ugly face or stupid articles ever again.

    • 12 12 2006
    • 11.  kiko (19:58:43) :

      Thanks for the update on our favorite gamer hottie.

      I love Chobot. And so does Justin.

    • 12 12 2006
    • 12.  Kaka (23:05:15) :

      So what the fuck is wrong with Chobot Justin? She’s fucking cute dude. CHILLTEHMOFUCKOUT.

    • 13 12 2006
    • 13.  danka (00:04:40) :


    • 13 12 2006
    • 14.  Charlioso (05:57:45) :

      said it before and i’ll say it again i’d tottaly hit that

    • 13 12 2006
    • 15.  bassx88 (06:45:35) :

      Not to go the conspiracy theory route, but you remember when the Segway first came out and Bush fell off of it? Everyone thought he was trying to stick it to “alternative” modes of transportation that didn’t put money in the pockets of Big Oil. I’d say this is a plus for Sony if she’s highlighting the flaws of the Wii.

    • 13 12 2006
    • 16.  Ricochet (10:38:39) :

      YES. Chobot Invasion. I was looking for this the other day. MWA HAHAHA POOPIE.

    • 14 12 2006
    • 17.  DisconcertedGeorge (20:00:54) :

      gah, stupid Chobot got a front page story at CNN.com for being a clumsy wench.

      Publicity whore.

    • 15 12 2006
    • 18.  Bill Clay (10:06:10) :

      Justin has a Chobot blow-up doll.

    • 15 12 2006
    • 19.  AngelBaby (11:32:05) :


    • 15 12 2006
    • 20.  dgjnxvnfsh (12:25:17) :

      wow this justin dude needs a life.
      he obviously likes her if he’s willing to put up a fucking blog about her.

    • 29 01 2008
    • 21.  JRC (17:13:16) :

      Gratuitous BUMP of an ancient thread over a year old… for no reason whatsoever.


    • 2 05 2008
    • 22.  jessica (18:24:53) :

      LOL you are calling her a noob and asking why she is playing a Wii. Wii is for noobs you fucking moron.

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