BRITNEY SPEARS

I have no words for this. It’s not exactly Britney at her worst but it’s definitely not Britney at her best either.

OUT OF SHAPE.

As in most train wrecks, it was hard to focus on just one thing as the Britney Spears disaster unfolded. There was just so much that went wrong.

Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears’ once-taut belly. At times she just stopped singing altogether, as if even she knew nothing could save her performance.

MSN TV

UPDATE:

For your viewing pleasure!

73 thoughts on “BRITNEY SPEARS

  1. first!

    #1 | Comment by Jehryn — September 10, 2007 @ 7:31 am

  2. Ewwww….

    I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

    That and my dick decided to become a turtle.

    Oh, Pre-K-Fed Britney… how I miss thee….

    #2 | Comment by Karass2Duprass — September 10, 2007 @ 7:33 am

  3. She’s not back yet and she may never be back completely as she’s older and was pregnant for 2 years straight.

    Definitely better than this, though

    #3 | Comment by Topher — September 10, 2007 @ 7:43 am

  4. while watching this train wreck performance and laughing, but still feeling a little bad for The Brit, I wondered what comments the newspaper, and of course this page would say about her.

    I agree that she may never be the pre-K-Fed Britney body, but you have to admit, she didn’t look all that bad!

    She still has the sweet sexy face, nice tits and her ass was looking pretty firm for a mom of 2!

    I’d still hit it. (Just with 2 condoms on!) And so would all you, AND YOU KNOW IT!

    #4 | Comment by MacDaddy — September 10, 2007 @ 7:53 am

  5. I would still hit it, don’t get me wrong, she looks as if she has hit a point where you could just stick anything anywhere and she wouldn’t even question it.

    She needs to just quit, I think Christina’s’ last album should have been reason enough to realize that she will never catch back up.

    #5 | Comment by filthyfish — September 10, 2007 @ 7:55 am

  6. oh and on a side note….Does ANYONE find Sarah Silverman funny?

    I see nothing wrong with poking fun at a celeb’s problems, especially those such as Britney, Paris, Lohan, etc, but it’s just totally wrong to start ripping into the children. None of Brit’s problems are their fault!

    I’m not a fan of Britney at all; just think she was HOT once!! But I think Britney should have smashed Silverman in the face with a Bat for those comments when she walked off stage! (Or maybe even while she was on stage, would have made for a more exciting show!)

    #6 | Comment by MacDaddy — September 10, 2007 @ 8:07 am

  7. fucking cow

    #7 | Comment by tehpunk — September 10, 2007 @ 8:21 am

  8. I don’t know, the whole Britney Spears thing from the VMA’s didn’t seem TOO bad to me. I never really liked her music anyway, so the song just sounded like the same bland stuff I remember — I don’t even know how new that song is, anyway, but I never heard it before. Her performance did seem a little unenthusiastic to say the least, and she definitely didn’t seem to be that energetic.

    As far as her looks go, I think she’s doing a whole lot better than she was. She’s not as hot as she used be way back when, and definitely doesn’t have as tight of a body, but she’s looking pretty good despite that. She’s back in that “I’d hit it” category for me, anyway. Except I hope she has some good tape or something to hold the wig on. If her wig came off in mid-coitus, I’d probably loose my boner seeing her bald head. I don’t know, though, is her head still bald? I can only assume she’s growing her hair back out, so by now she might have a good buzz cut going. Still not attractive though.

    Oh well.

    #8 | Comment by Pyronuc — September 10, 2007 @ 8:39 am

  9. why is there no video of this yet on youtube?

    We demand to see video of this epic fail nao! 😀

    Well the way I see it we are not really making fun of Britney Spears personally, how could we? We don’t know her personally though we think we do from what we see from the tabloids and itnernets. But what we are really making fun of is the Britney Spears persona that we also help create/destroy. And at the moment its looking like we want to destroy this current incarnation of Britney.

    Kill it with fire!

    #9 | Comment by Ricko — September 10, 2007 @ 8:39 am

  10. oh, yeah, Sarah Silverman…

    Her bit kind of stunk, too. I mean, I DID think her jokes were funny…just not huge laugh out loud funny. More like a slight chuckle (if that) and then “meh.” However, I did think the impersonation of Britney’s vagina (head tilted to the side, lips stretched waaaaaay out) was hilarious. But the rest of her jokes fell mostly flat.

    #10 | Comment by Pyronuc — September 10, 2007 @ 8:42 am

  11. #9 — you can watch Britney’s sucky performance here:
    http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1568788&vid=173440

    you have to sit through a commercial first, but there ya go.

    #11 | Comment by Pyronuc — September 10, 2007 @ 8:45 am

  12. Britney’s belly looks pretty darn good for someone that’s held two children in there. I can guarantee you that moms all over the words let out a sigh of envy when they saw that.

    Still wouldn’t hit it. Not even in the pooper. Might cause her brain damage, y’know?

    #12 | Comment by exelis — September 10, 2007 @ 8:50 am

  13. oh my fucking gawd.

    i couldnt watch more than 45 seconds of that. tubby cunt running around with an amazingly vacant look, no dance skills and the lack of lip syncing skills.

    #13 | Comment by MrShadow — September 10, 2007 @ 8:54 am

  14. Her manager/agent/whatever should be fired.

    R.I.P. Britney’s career. Finally shot, dead, and buried.

    #14 | Comment by Mentos Fresh — September 10, 2007 @ 9:02 am

  15. The music’s terrible, and I bet the performance is too. But if that’s what passes for a ‘paunch’ these days, I’ve been doing nothing but fatties and loving it. Glad there’s less competition in these waters.

    #15 | Comment by Kewtr — September 10, 2007 @ 9:09 am

  16. #11

    VIDEO CAN NOT BE SHOWN IN COUNTRIES OUTSIDE THE US DUE TO COPYRIGHT ETC ETC DRAMU

    massive fail :\

    #16 | Comment by Ricko — September 10, 2007 @ 9:23 am

  17. Sarah Silverman is very funny. Just check out “The Sarah Silverman Show” or better yet het concert movie “Jesus is Magic”. As for Sarah last night. I thought she was funny, just not at her best.

    I did laugh out loud at the following (paraphrased)

    Sarah: I was just talking to C-Lo backstage. I asked if if he encountered any racism down in Atlanta. He said, “I’m Kanye West.”

    I also thought the following was pretty funny.

    Sarah: I remeber a few years ago when Britney was innocent, up on this stage in slutty clothes with a phython writing on her. … That’s mean. i shouldn’t call Madonna a Phython.

    I didn’t laugh out loud, but it was pretty funny.

    Seriously though, watch Jesus is Magic.

    #17 | Comment by Tim — September 10, 2007 @ 9:23 am

  18. I didn’t think ole’ Britney was near what she used to be, but she NEVER will be…she’s had two kids for christsake. I at least find her attractive now, which is a major improvement. She could’ve picked a slightly more “covering” outfit, though. She DOES look better than most mid-twenties moms I know, LOL.

    #18 | Comment by Philzo — September 10, 2007 @ 9:50 am

  19. I would be happy to make a love explosion all over that “paunchy” belly.

    It’s her cooter that scares me. K-Fed’s been in there!

    #19 | Comment by Bad, Bad Mormon — September 10, 2007 @ 9:55 am

  20. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihH6TpxPcRI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fperezhilton%2Ecom%2F

    There ya go, happy? lolz

    I can’t beleive how lackluster this was. This was her big chance to make a comeback. She looked like she didn’t even care. Look at that face. Either she’s extremely bored and going through the motions, or she’s out of it on horse tranquilisers. I actually think she’d have looked decent IF she was wearing clothes that didn’t scream “I’m thin look” and point out her obvious flaws. If she dressed appropriately, she would have looked hot. Thats a lack of judgment and her stylist (if she even has one nowadays) should be instantly fired. As for the mistimed lip syncing and lazy ass dancing and choreography, thats a lack of rehersals or time to learn something better. WHY was she out drinking three days and nights in a row? This should have been fuckin spectacular to watch. I thought she was “training” with a stage magician everyday? I guess by training she meant “doing coke and blowing him”. Fuck her. Literally. That face says she doesn’t care. It wasn’t a nervous face, which I could have forgiven. Hell she could have made a string of mistakes and burst out crying and I’d have forgiiven her, IF she looked like she was making an effort. As it was, this totally sucked, and after wating this opportunity to make something of herself again, she should NOT be allowed such a prestigious stage to re-attempty a career again. Harsh but true.

    #20 | Comment by thiessen — September 10, 2007 @ 9:58 am

  21. if this is an attempt to get back in the public eye, i have expectations of a playboy shoot in the next year. she knows the good girl persona is gone, and something like that will be about the only way to draw attention to herself that doesn’t include cocaine, bad parenting, or rehab.

    #21 | Comment by Ted — September 10, 2007 @ 10:20 am

  22. sarah silverman has man eyebrows. shes still pretty, but in an abusive sex kinda way. sarah silverman=FTL

    as for britney, its sad really. to go from 0-60-0 within like 6 yrs. oh well, she is still hot and id still hit it, but i dont think id enjoy it.

    if she cant bounce back, what does she have to fall back on? she has no talent….

    #22 | Comment by Xan — September 10, 2007 @ 10:26 am

  23. #20. theres a story behind that. besides mtv canceling the magic act do to not being able to insure it. she wanted to cancel after hearing sarah “McEyebrow” sliverman’s monologue. so by the time her performance started. she really was done with it all.

    #23 | Comment by Xan — September 10, 2007 @ 10:47 am

  24. I missed it, there was a vido game on at my house…

    snap.

    #24 | Comment by ben — September 10, 2007 @ 11:44 am

  25. that was crap

    #25 | Comment by Captain Monkey — September 10, 2007 @ 12:22 pm

  26. #22 speaketh the truth.
    also, more shuh-beer, best ever happy get.

    #26 | Comment by name — September 10, 2007 @ 1:10 pm

  27. bout a hundred grand in plastic surgery oughta fix her up then you wont even noticed the bad lipsynching and dancing.

    #27 | Comment by libtard — September 10, 2007 @ 1:37 pm

  28. #20 – i concur. if she had just worn a slinky lil minidress, ppl would’ve prolly thought “wow, brit is hawt again!” but she tried to push it too far and the result is embarrassing.

    #28 | Comment by AngelBaby — September 10, 2007 @ 1:49 pm

  29. did that take the award for “best walking around on stage?”

    #29 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — September 10, 2007 @ 1:52 pm

  30. Sorry did someone already say this but doesnt this look completely lip synced?

    #30 | Comment by Whitty071 — September 10, 2007 @ 2:07 pm

  31. If this shit doesn’t end the “career” of this no-talent white trash skank, nothing will.

    I expect to soon see her snorting coke off of Lindsay Lohan’s stomach.

    #31 | Comment by Milhouse — September 10, 2007 @ 2:18 pm

  32. Angelbaby, yup spot on girl, glad you agree with me, and you put it better and more concisely than I 😉

    Xan – Yeah I heard that too. The magic show thing being cancelled at the last minute due to insurance sounds a bit wack to me, they’ve known what they were planning for weeks now. Having 2 kids myself, I totally understand getting upset if someone made a nasty comment about them, but being in the music and entertainment industry too, I know that its you r JOB to be 100% professional and gfive 110% of your self at EVERY show, its your responsibility as a performer, and its what you get paid to do. You learn to act. If someone as famous and succesfull as Britney can’t pretend to be a good singer and dancer for less than 5 minutes, they don’t deserve to be earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a month for doing very little. People in the public eye will get comedians using them for a cheap laugh, she should be used to it by now. If she’s that concerned over her children, why did she spend the last week not with them but instead going out getting drunk and high all night and “rehersing” (sleeping) all day whilst they’re in care. I odn’t want to be too judgmental, but she REALLY misjudged everything about the past 2 weeks of her life, espcially after it was being hyped as the time to turn her life around and get back on track. That performance was simply an insult to everyone who believed in her, sorry to say it. Its just getting sad now. Lets move on, nothing to see here people

    #32 | Comment by thiessen — September 10, 2007 @ 3:14 pm

  33. #32 two weeks? try five years.
    roger moore sherbet.

    #33 | Comment by name — September 10, 2007 @ 3:46 pm

  34. sarah silverjew makes my penis cry.

    #34 | Comment by name — September 10, 2007 @ 3:47 pm

  35. i don’t know who else saw that fag perez hilton on The Morning Show, but he said she was doing all of whatever but rehearsing, thats hard to believe considering she knew everything that was riding on it. britney….(god, i cant believe im defending her…) might have been out of it for a few years, but she is still a professional thats been doing it since she was a child. that being said, it wouldnt take a rocket scientist to figure out she would have been doing everything in her power to get her act right.

    as for MTV, i can guarantee that they couldnt insure britney spears in a fucking cris angel magic act. that guy isnt safe, he’s nuts. MTV is big, but they arent powerful.

    and to say that britney wasnt being professional, sarah silverman wasnt being at all professional. i know its her thing to be as racey and “push the envelope” as possible, but come on, to take shots at a person kids and call the “mistakes”…is that not too much? since when is that ok? you can hate briteny and wish she was dead or whatever, but her kids are not and should never be targets.

    and not to mention the whole entire show sucked…as usual.

    p.s.

    ima say one last thing, briteny only had two ways her performance could go….either extremely well, or extremely poorly….so with that said, her “poor”formance was expected.

    #35 | Comment by Xan — September 10, 2007 @ 3:57 pm

  36. Amen Xan!

    As I have stated before, I’m not a fan of Britney’s, never have been, probably never will be. However, I am a fan of watching her have breakdowns, not wearing panties, and looking sexy in her numbers. This was just painful to watch, and got worse once Silverbitch took the stage.

    Perhaps, once she has children of her own, and someone rudely calls them “Mistakes” she’ll realize how completely wrong and unfunny that really was!

    #36 | Comment by MacDaddy — September 10, 2007 @ 4:34 pm

  37. Besides her ass looked pretty banging here!

    http://dontlinkthis.net/movies/hires/britneyspears8/image-html/ritneySpearscelebut_B98CA1.html

    #37 | Comment by MacDaddy — September 10, 2007 @ 4:36 pm

  38. So now that Britney Spears’s career over, all we have to do is figure out a way to end the careers of Lindsay Lohan, Avril Lavigne, and Paris Hilton and there will truly be peace on Earth.

    #38 | Comment by Tony — September 10, 2007 @ 5:44 pm

  39. THIS VIDEO IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE.

    Awesome! Thanks Justin

    #39 | Comment by dex — September 10, 2007 @ 5:58 pm

  40. So I finally watched the Silverman bit about the “mistakes” and jesus christ what an overreaction by virtually everyone. Sjees, when I read all the complaints about it I was expecting a 2-minute monologue about how dire these kids were and it turns out all she says that “they are the cutest mistakes…”

    ffs, it might not have been a good joke but really nothing to make such a big deal out of. She didn’t wish them dead, call them ugly, ask for child protection to take them away or post pictures of their moms vagina for the world to see. What a big fuzz about nothing…

    #40 | Comment by Aiii — September 10, 2007 @ 6:27 pm

  41. Yeah, I caught this crap on MTV last night and all I can practically say is “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!”

    Yeah, it sucked badly. Comeback my ass.

    #41 | Comment by kaka — September 10, 2007 @ 6:29 pm

  42. The song sounded okay, pretty much what Britney’s stuff has sounded like the last few albums or so. Her stuff’s always really well produced, so I’m sure I’ll give it a listen. I don’t see why people think one bad performance is gonna mean the end of her career. Not that I particularly CARE how long she sticks around, but trust me, she’s still gonna be on TV and in the tabloids for a long, long time.

    Also, who gives a shit if Sarah Silverman insulted her kids? Are children somehow exempt from being made fun of? Even so, it was actually more of an insult to Britney. I mean, I’m not a huge fan of her stuff, but that’s what she does, outrageous ohmygodican’tbelieveshesaidthat type humor.

    #42 | Comment by yay — September 10, 2007 @ 9:27 pm

  43. Jeezus… well, her best times are definately over… Brit, get used to being a mother, ‘cos if you do your Performances this way, that’s the only job you’ll be doing.

    #43 | Comment by Jade — September 10, 2007 @ 10:41 pm

  44. Immediate thoughts were:

    – Is that a Britney impersonator? She sucks.
    – WTF?
    – uhhhh…. i’d hit it just to tell my friends…
    – uuuhhhnnn…naw…maybe not…
    – uhhh…Silverman looks good…oh, wait, this is Brit’s moment…
    – is that a fin in the water? — Ooop! Over the shark tank she goes!

    Yep… I think this was definitely her ‘shark tank’ moment. She will serve as a fine example to parents who are tempted to turn their children into narcissistic media-whores in a futile attempt to fulfill their own fantasies of stardom and bring meaning to their otherwise empty lives. I will threaten my own daughter with a screencap of MTV-2007-Britney: “Do you want to be like Britney?! Do your homework! Eat your veggies! Lower that hemline! Use your brain!”

    #44 | Comment by Quidam — September 11, 2007 @ 12:01 am

  45. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc

    WAAAAAAUGH!!

    #45 | Comment by Skarasta — September 11, 2007 @ 12:59 am

  46. ^^^
    that’s one of the funniest, and yet most disturbing things i’ve ever seen on youtube.

    EPIC LULZ.

    #46 | Comment by AngelBaby — September 11, 2007 @ 2:03 am

  47. #45 – Jesus effin’ Christ! Thanks for sharing that. I am crying too… from laughter, pants wetting laughter. C’mon, feel my pants, they’re soaked.

    Just one question: do they make Extra Strength Midol for men?

    #47 | Comment by Smiley — September 11, 2007 @ 2:50 am

  48. that was almost as bad as “what what…”…

    #48 | Comment by Xan — September 11, 2007 @ 2:59 am

  49. #48 – Well, “What What..In da Butt” had a beat and you can dance to it. That Youtube video heshe was just Butt-Fuck Crazy! Crazy, I tell ya!

    #49 | Comment by Smiley — September 11, 2007 @ 3:17 am

  50. That’s…not fat.

    Although I’m approaching it from the angle of what you would normally see in real life, but since she’s up on stage in a bra and panties yeah I guess.

    #50 | Comment by Seriously — September 11, 2007 @ 6:06 am

  51. ok so I’m not a Britney fan at all, but I think she is copping a lot of shit. Sure the performance was seriously fucked up, but I think if she really wants to have a “comeback” she needs to actually commit to it instead of just thinking “yeh I’m still the hot little tart I was when I was 17 I can totally pull this off”. if she quit smoking, worked out so she had the fitness to pull off the high-energy dancing she used to do, then she might be able to actually succeed in show business again.

    That said, I would still totally hit that. Compared to most of the chicks I see in reality, she is still pretty fine. Although, thinking back to those upskirt pictures of her…. maybe not….

    #51 | Comment by Asmerith — September 11, 2007 @ 6:34 am

  52. New Britney Vagina pics!
    http://img.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/aaexcl_britney_spears2_wenn.jpg
    http://img.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/aaexcl_britney_spears3_wenn.jpg

    #52 | Comment by anonymous — September 11, 2007 @ 7:34 am

  53. *cant play outside the us*
    Sad

    #53 | Comment by Charlioso — September 11, 2007 @ 7:45 am

  54. “if she really wants to have a “comeback” she needs to actually commit to it instead of just thinking “yeh I’m still the hot little tart I was when I was 17 I can totally pull this off”.”

    QFT

    That video made me feel so gulity and ashamed of myself and completely change my opinion. Honestly.

    Yeah I saw there were new Brit brit minge pix floating around but since the last ones gave me nightmares I haven’t had the courage to click them yet…

    #54 | Comment by thiessen — September 11, 2007 @ 7:46 am

  55. She could easily be in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    #55 | Comment by Scratch — September 11, 2007 @ 7:57 am

  56. http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a43_1189391159

    Viacom can’t touch this shit!

    #56 | Comment by mayhem — September 11, 2007 @ 8:14 am

  57. #45, omg I am dying….

    It’s funny, because, I just saw this clip from thre same guy the day after the MTV Fiasco:

    http://www.filecabi.net/video/Back_up__Britney_haters.html

    #57 | Comment by MacDaddy — September 11, 2007 @ 9:21 am

  58. She also misses a nail… and her armpits are not even well shaved… poor thing. Honestly, I reall pity her.

    #58 | Comment by Carmela Zombie — September 11, 2007 @ 1:17 pm

  59. I just realized what’s freaking me out about Britney… she doesn’t have hips anymore. Her hourglass is now just a glass.

    #59 | Comment by Scratch — September 11, 2007 @ 3:22 pm

  60. oh well, all the reports say she brought it upon herself. so no feeling sorry for her here…

    #60 | Comment by Xan — September 11, 2007 @ 4:30 pm

  61. HOLY MOTHERFUCK 57. Thats one sick deranged freak.

    Jesus..

    #61 | Comment by Skarasta — September 11, 2007 @ 6:18 pm

  62. Oh my jesus the lock cylinder in my door handle just got shot across the room now this guy is asking my to flip a coin I guess I pick hea

    #62 | Comment by Seriously — September 11, 2007 @ 6:36 pm

  63. What do you expect from an awards show that includes the likes of 50 cent and P Diddy? A bunch of overhyped cover artists with a lot of problems and little talent. I mean, where is the creativity in that music, or that performance? I can go down the local tit bar and see the same thing, albeit with more nudity.

    Spears has joined the MILF club now and soon the Betty Ford clinic…

    #63 | Comment by Pokeher — September 11, 2007 @ 6:48 pm

  64. id still fuck her…..
    raw.
    hard.
    on my couch.
    doggy-style.
    with the lights on.

    🙂

    #64 | Comment by QWERTY — September 11, 2007 @ 7:21 pm

  65. ^^^
    agreed.

    #65 | Comment by Xan — September 11, 2007 @ 7:22 pm

  66. Oh, fuck right off. Anyone who thinks that was out of shape is a ballsucker. Yeah, her performance sucked, but it kind of always did. I’d still tap it… if I were a braver man. Anyone saying she’s “paunchy” is probably at home saturday night with a sears catalog and their dick in their hand.

    #66 | Comment by Pru — September 11, 2007 @ 7:27 pm

  67. Hey she looks a little better now, you’ve gotta remember dudes, this was her just a little while ago.

    http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/02_02/britney240207X17_468x498.jpg

    Look at her now, kudos to you Britney.

    Wait, fuck no fuck you Britney!

    Fuck you!

    #67 | Comment by Skarasta — September 11, 2007 @ 7:38 pm

  68. Aw fuck, link is barooooooken.

    Sorry for the double post, ignore this.

    #68 | Comment by Skarasta — September 11, 2007 @ 7:39 pm

  69. MTV originally had a less revealing and far more flattering outfit picked out, but Brit rejected it for not being “sexy” enough. She’s not fat and still looks okay, but she doesn’t have her 18yo body either. Perhaps she’s delusional – or perhaps she just doesn’t give a f((k anymore.

    #69 | Comment by CCS — September 12, 2007 @ 2:12 am

  70. According to the latest reports, Brit arrived 3 1/2 hours late to rehearsal with a Margarita in her hand and a tad drunk.

    If MTV had any balls, they would have canceled her “comeback” saying, Britney arrived to the show drunk! Then had Linkin Park play!! (hell yeah!)

    Also, on a side note, that fucken moron from YouTube has been on nearly every radio station I flipped to since yesterday, and again this morning. I bet he actually makes real money from this now!

    #70 | Comment by MacDaddy — September 12, 2007 @ 9:27 am

  71. #66- Hey, I use the Victoria’s Secret catalogue, not the Sears catalogue. Get it straight.

    I bet that deranged Britney-lovin’ homo is going to shoot up a school or shove someone off the Golden Gate Bridge or set off a bomb in Times Square or something to impress his gal. This guy’s another John Hinckley, Jr. He needs to be committed involuntarily as soon as possible to get him off the streets.

    #71 | Comment by Milhouse — September 12, 2007 @ 12:19 pm

  72. first

    #72 | Comment by doppletwo — September 13, 2007 @ 12:21 am

  73. I’ve hit worse… I’d lay money everyone on this board has hit something worse than that 🙂

    The performace was still lame…I miss 2000 VMA Britney

    #73 | Comment by GOB Bluth — September 15, 2007 @ 9:17 pm

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