CELEBRITY JEW LIST

In light of my recent discovery of this celebrity Jew list, i may have to completely rearrange my top 10 celebrity Jews.

If i actually did have a top ten at least. I know i had a top two (Natalie Portman, Emmy Rossum), but apparently almost everyone in Hollywood is Jewish (Patricia Arquette! Amanda Bynes! Thora Birch! Isla Fisher! Jami Gertz! et al) so now i don’t even know who my number one is anymore!

28 thoughts on “CELEBRITY JEW LIST

  1. Kat Dennings!

    #1 | Comment by Captain Monkey — September 14, 2007 @ 11:13 pm

  2. i think?

    #2 | Comment by Captain Monkey — September 14, 2007 @ 11:13 pm

  3. the think about being a jew is…some actors and actresses just claim to be jewish to get a break. the features of a true jew are really apparent. jews control the media, hence they control hollywood.

    #3 | Comment by Xan — September 14, 2007 @ 11:18 pm

  4. Paula Abdul

    Elizabeth Banks

    Rachel Bilson
    Thora Birch

    Selma Blair

    Brooke Burke
    Amanda Bynes
    Neve Campbell
    Cartoon Characters
    Emmanuelle Chriqui

    Jennifer Connelly
    Jamie Lee Curtis

    Kat Dennings

    Fran Drescher
    Carrie Fisher
    Isla Fisher
    Sarah Michelle Gellar
    Gina Gershon

    Maggie Gyllenhaal

    Alyson Hannigan
    Kate Hudson
    Helen Hunt (new!)
    Scarlett Johansson
    Mia Kirshner

    Lisa Kudrow
    Mila Kunis

    Jennifer Jason Leigh

    Lisa Loeb
    Jon Lovitz
    Natasha Lyonne
    Debra Messing

    Sarah Jessica Parker
    Sara Paxton

    Amanda Peet

    Pink
    Natalie Portman
    Laura Prepon
    Nikki Reed
    Leah Remini

    Emmy Rossum
    Maya Rudolph (new!)
    Sara Rue
    Winona Ryder

    S-Z (back to top)

    Jamie-Lynn Sigler
    Alicia Silverstone
    Ione Skye
    Lindsay Sloane
    Rena Sofer
    Marla Sokoloff
    Barbra Streisand

    Michelle Trachtenberg
    Rachel Weisz
    Debra Winger

    Evan Rachel Wood

    #4 | Comment by Crazy Captain Monkey — September 14, 2007 @ 11:22 pm

  5. youre probelly right

    #5 | Comment by Crazy Captain Monkey — September 14, 2007 @ 11:23 pm

  6. OMG they really DO run Hollywood!

    #6 | Comment by THEO — September 14, 2007 @ 11:26 pm

  7. yup

    #7 | Comment by Crazy Captain Monkey — September 14, 2007 @ 11:27 pm

  8. Portman number one. duh. Isla Fischer is also yummy, and she’s a converted Jew. Instead of being Jewish by default, she chose to be Jewish. That’s hawt.

    #8 | Comment by Dr. Phil mmkay? — September 14, 2007 @ 11:50 pm

  9. Here’s a list sorted by birth year. Easier to find those younger Jew hotties.

    #9 | Comment by Nobody — September 14, 2007 @ 11:57 pm

  10. how many of these “jews” are “scientologists”?

    #10 | Comment by lswalker — September 15, 2007 @ 12:13 am

  11. F*****g Jews… The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.

    And they forced me to make all those shitty “Lethal Weapon” movies.

    #11 | Comment by Mel Gibson — September 15, 2007 @ 1:19 am

  12. ^^^
    you might be joking about that statement, and think its racist or whatever, but man….how much you don’t know about the america government and what it does for Israel.

    p.s.

    don’t think the jews had anything to do with the important wars in the world, like Vietnam or one of the WW, i forget which one…

    #12 | Comment by Xan — September 15, 2007 @ 1:39 am

  13. Justin,

    Steven Spielberg here. Big, big fan of yours; loving your work, you’ve got a killer site here. That Lazytown/Where’s the Pink thread? Fuckin’ hilarious! I read that muthafuckin post every night or when I’m rubbin’ one out. Why do you think it took so long for the new Raiders of the Lost Ark sequel to get going?

    Enough of the small talk, I’m here to propose a business venture. Naturally, you know my life’s work was Schindler’s List. That film took me years to realize and was a labor of love in every sense and my most personal and cherished film. It’s been over a decade and I think it’s time to re-visit Schindler’s List and try and get it out for Christmas.

    I read your post titled ‘Celebrity Jew List’ and it gave me a great idea: I want to re-do & re-imagine Schindler’s List – in color – and – you’re gonna love this – with an all-star cast of HOT Jewish Actresses. I’m calling it: Justin’s List! Are you feelin’ me on dis?

    After Schindler’s List was finished, I was severely depressed and intensely guilt-ridden. And I think Justin’s List(or Justin’s Jew LIst) is the perfect way for me to fill this creative and emotionally empty void I have had inside me for over a decade.

    Justin’s List will not be a sequel but a completely new script based around a camp holding nothing but insanely hot Jewish starlets wearing nothing but belly shirts, thongs, tube tops or if they’re really hot looking – BUTT NAKED. I’ve got a bunch of actresses lined up already – Portman, Biel, Johannson, Rossum, Trachenberg… you name it, I’ve got them. Of course, I told them all they’re going to be starrin’ in Raiders and the next Star Wars(hee Hee), but I’m sure they’ll understand. Hey, I’m makin’ art here!!

    I still haven’t worked out all the details yet, but I want you to play the Schindler-like title role named Justin Oskar Schlonger, a street smart German businessman/pimp who saved over 4000 hot Jewish women from death to work in his ‘factory’.

    The story will also revolve around buff, well-oiled SS commandant Amon Goeth(I’m thinkin Peter ‘Beer Can’ North) who rules with an iron fist, Hilter’s only all-female work camp. The story – I’m still workin’ on the plot – will be secondary to the visuals: I’m thinking all-girl pillow fights, full body hot oil massages and of course, showers. No, not that type of showers, but hot, chick on chick, steamy hot, soap lathered showers that never seem to end. I’m also thinking the action centerpiece will be the hot chicks escaping the camp while washing Hitler’s prized 1988 Camaro IROC-Z wearing nothing but Daisy Dukes and white tank tops – no bras!

    Like I said, me and David Mamet are still workin’ on the fuckin’ script. We don’t have everything ironed out yet, but there will be CONSTANT NUDITY and HARDCORE M/F, F/F and M/FFFFFFF ACTION. Hell, I might even throw in a couple of gentile hotties in there.

    Gimme a call we’ll do lunch sometimes, OK? Shalom!

    Steven Speilberg

    #13 | Comment by Smiley — September 15, 2007 @ 5:22 am

  14. duh. there are very distinct jewish features that are easy to pick out – forehead, chin, NOSE!

    #14 | Comment by heapy — September 15, 2007 @ 5:47 am

  15. this is just retarded.

    jewish people like to make lists of jewish people. Its kind of weird, but Canadians do it to. I wrote a personal essay in high school about it and the how when you get right down to it lists like this and this arent really that much different from ones like this.

    I remember it had a great line about Ben Bernanke and a headline some website being “The new Fed Chairman- ANOTHER JEW!!!” and how I it was impossible to tell whether this was some antisemite or some really proud jewish person. Were the gratuitous exclamation points a the authors way of saying that he wasnt going to play by jew rules of jew grammar, or, on the other hand, a reflection of genuine suprise and a total lack of certainty that the new fed chairman was going to be jewish.

    #15 | Comment by guy — September 15, 2007 @ 9:24 am

  16. Now, I know I’m supposed to be the expert on Jewish girls here, but what’s the difference between Emmy Rossum and Autumn Reeser? Are they like the same person? Even their names have the same jingle or whatever.

    So, are all you Jew-bags out there ready for Yom Kippur? I believe we’re into our 2nd? day of repentance now. Chop chop people, guilt won’t feel itself. Unless, y’know, it likes to masturbate.

    #16 | Comment by Dr. Phil mmkay? — September 15, 2007 @ 10:14 am

  17. Okay, so everybody who isn’t black, Asian, or Irish in Hollywood is a Jew. And apparently the Jews want to keep it that way since Lenny Kravitz was omitted from the list. Buncha money-mongering racists ๐Ÿ˜›

    Harrison Ford’s a quarter Jewish — not too shabby

    #17 | Comment by Tony — September 15, 2007 @ 10:53 am

  18. 10 is right, plenty of those “Jews” are actually Scientologists. Some converted, some born and raised.

    #18 | Comment by thiessen — September 15, 2007 @ 3:44 pm

  19. I’d like to make out with Patricia Arquette for about five hours.

    #19 | Comment by d00d — September 15, 2007 @ 11:08 pm

  20. Okay. I’ll bite. Here are the members of the tribe that I would most like to bang (assuming that list is accurate), in order:

    10. Evan Rachel Wood
    9. Jennifer Jason Leigh
    8. Amanda Peet
    7. Jennifer Connelly
    6. Thora Birch
    5. Mila Kunis
    4. Sarah Michelle Gellar
    3. Michelle Trachtenberg
    2. Natalie Portman
    1. Winona Ryder

    Winona is so underrated. She might be nuts, but she’s beautiful, and has one of the best racks in the biz.

    #20 | Comment by Upchuck — September 16, 2007 @ 9:26 am

  21. Emmanuelle Chriqui is one of the hottest women I’ve ever see, Jewish or not. Her pictures do not do her justice. I’d like to name her vagina Justice and “do her Justice.” Wow, this place brings out the worst in me.

    #21 | Comment by Scratch — September 16, 2007 @ 12:36 pm

  22. 20 – totally agree, Winona is gorgeous, out of teh lot she’s definitely my favourite there. Wonder why Ashley Tisdale isn’t in the list? I have a bit of a thing for Leah Remini, she’s slutty in a hot knida way in King of Queens, and the fact she used to be in SBTB boosts her kudos ratings for my peepee. Shame she’s a scientologist however. Oh well, can’t have it all.

    #22 | Comment by thiessen — September 16, 2007 @ 4:39 pm

  23. Where are the pics of Natalie Portman’s ass? That damn Hotel Chevalier thing has been online all day and nobody has any screencaps yet?

    #23 | Comment by The Pope — September 26, 2007 @ 7:00 pm

  24. Anneliese van der Pol is Jewish, and was named after Anne Frank.

    #24 | Comment by StillNotTellingUPeople — October 1, 2007 @ 1:42 am

  25. Who do you think is respnsible for all the anti white stuff on mtv, VH1, BET, and all the news stations? It’s a conspiracy. They brainwash using mass media and make their people rich off it to.

    #25 | Comment by jghjghj — December 9, 2007 @ 4:33 pm

  26. I think some of the folks above (like him ^) are frustrated that the daughters of their jewish bogeymen are so freaking sexalicious.

    At least when ‘their people’ are done taking over the world, they’ll be quite a few babes left when they’re done.

    #26 | Comment by hum — December 11, 2007 @ 12:08 pm

  27. Only reason I don’t keep a Jew list is because I’m not in favour of snipping my dink(or my sons’ for that matter) just to satisfy some outmoded tradition(no idea how many of them still follow it though).

    #27 | Comment by Anony Mouse — February 8, 2009 @ 1:26 pm

  28. Rachel Weisz should have been always the leading lady of the Mummy movies because she really fits that role “”

    #28 | Comment by Fire Basket ยท — November 4, 2010 @ 9:28 am

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