Masturbation is a quickly-forming habit that can adversely affect both men and women of all ages. Despite what some might tell you, masturbation is not harmless. If you are trying to overcome masturbation, be assured that it is possible (even though, like any habit, it may take some work). If you are determined to do it, you will be able to. This page will give you some tips that can help you along the way.


  1. That page is a load of wank.

    See, see what I did there…

    *Pats self on back*

    #1 | Comment by gulliver — February 20, 2008 @ 8:20 am

  2. I fapped to this page.

    #2 | Comment by zemus — February 20, 2008 @ 8:30 am

  3. its not a problem untill you get arrested.

    its not sniffin bicycle seats at an elementary school.

    #3 | Comment by filthyfish — February 20, 2008 @ 8:48 am

  4. none of the 29 guidelines can stop Justin from fapping.

    #4 | Comment by AngelBaby — February 20, 2008 @ 8:56 am

  5. For some reason, this page made me want to fap some more…hmm… I think some one should tell them that it’s not working…

    #5 | Comment by JZ — February 20, 2008 @ 8:58 am

  6. Damn Christians ruin everything!

    #6 | Comment by Brian — February 20, 2008 @ 9:00 am

  7. ^^^
    Damn Mormons ruin everything!


    #7 | Comment by AngelBaby — February 20, 2008 @ 9:01 am

  8. “4. After you bathe, don’t admire yourself in the mirror. Stay in the shower just long enough to clean yourself. Then dry off and GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.”

    So, you’re not allowed to masturbate but they want you to enter the living room when you’re naked. Very interesting.

    #8 | Comment by Franc — February 20, 2008 @ 9:06 am

  9. “Go into the kitchen and make a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry.”

    could this be why the bible belt states are so obese? substituting food for orgasms?

    #9 | Comment by Justin L — February 20, 2008 @ 9:30 am

  10. Ah those wacky Mormons. I particularly loved the title overcum masterbation and #2 Never being alone (easy when you have one father and eighteen mothers)

    oh, and to comply with #7 means to never look at the Internet ever again.

    #10 | Comment by goodie — February 20, 2008 @ 10:20 am

  11. I think wifey made justin post this.

    #11 | Comment by smash — February 20, 2008 @ 10:20 am

  12. “Always wear pajamas at night (preferably ones that tie or are difficult to open).”

    So thats where im going wrong! Damn nappies.

    #12 | Comment by underneon — February 20, 2008 @ 11:09 am

  13. I was going to click the link, but I decided to masturbate instead!

    The day we stop masturbating is the day the Terrorists Win.

    Perhaps if they masturbated more often, they’d realize there are better things to do then strap a bomb to themselves!

    #13 | Comment by MacDaddy — February 20, 2008 @ 12:43 pm

  14. erm mac dear…i am the exact reason people should masterbate!,,prego with number 8 as i type!! i knew i should have bated!!!

    #14 | Comment by mom of 8 — February 20, 2008 @ 12:51 pm

  15. Why are religions always so concerned with the minutiae of an individual’s sexual behavior?

    Religion, as usual, is a terrible guide to personal well being.

    I’ll give you better advice:

    If you think you spend too much time masturbating, simply try to engage your time with other activities. Don’t suddenly get all Victorian and demonise yourself for having ‘sinned’, or whatever bullshit, because you’ll just feel even worse about yourself. Just take it fucking easy and be smart.

    And don’t start praying. Believe me when I say that whatever time you have wasted jacking off over Jo-Jo’s tweenage rack will shrink in comparison to a lifetime chatting with the voices in your head.

    #15 | Comment by matt — February 20, 2008 @ 12:53 pm

  16. Wait… …#7 tells me to not look at websites that discuss my “problem”. Which should mean I should stop reading their website.

    Also, I don’t know if any of my friends fap too much, or more specifically none of them will tell me. I’m gonna have to find some new friends that openly embrace their fap addictions so that I can break off our friendships at a later point.

    Also, what kind of an idiot wrote this? The bed is a horrible place for fapping. You have to crane your neck and you can never set up the porn the right way.

    #16 | Comment by Kelvin — February 20, 2008 @ 1:06 pm

  17. “This page “… isn’t approved by me. Fail page is fail!

    #17 | Comment by markus9128 — February 20, 2008 @ 1:59 pm

  18. “Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A dollar in a jar for every day you don’t masturbate. At the end of the month you can buy something you like.”

    Instead of that idea, I’m gonna start putting a dollar in a jar for every day I do masturbate.

    #18 | Comment by Nobody — February 20, 2008 @ 2:32 pm

  19. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don’t suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will.

    Is it really masturbation if you do it with a friend?

    #19 | Comment by Tanzarian — February 20, 2008 @ 3:09 pm

  20. #1 get someone to touch the intimate parts of your body.
    #2 Find good company and stay in this good company. (the pink)
    #3 OK….. if your masturbating with someone, stop and start having sex.
    #4 Do it with someone in your family????? Is that not incest????? SICK!!!
    #5 Tie yourself to the bed post, and get your girlfriend to do it.
    #6 ???? f that. I’m tied to the bed post.
    #7 This make me want to do it…..Never tell someone NOT to do it.
    #8 Get some good material.
    #9 Pray that your girlfriend will do it.

    You got the idea……….Have FUN

    #20 | Comment by Ra — February 20, 2008 @ 3:19 pm

  21. I bet the guy who wrote that article probably unloaded a few cum buckets when he was done.

    #21 | Comment by pk — February 20, 2008 @ 3:58 pm

  22. This habit-forming activity quickly leads to other activities such as viewing pornography and participating in homosexual activities.

    homosexual activities.


    #22 | Comment by Mike — February 20, 2008 @ 4:39 pm

  23. Lame thread…

    #23 | Comment by JRC — February 20, 2008 @ 4:56 pm

  24. If I dont masterbate, it’s like leaving the house with a loaded gun – I feel obliged to unload on the first lady that I see … on the bus on the way to work.

    Damn man, no wonder the 3 mormons I know are all uptight pricks…

    Fuckin jerk it man, Jesus wont hate you.

    #24 | Comment by forster — February 20, 2008 @ 5:30 pm

  25. Besides, I bet Jesus would rub one out himself every once in a while. He was a man, right?

    #25 | Comment by Diablo — February 20, 2008 @ 5:40 pm

  26. we’ve all seen 40 days and 40 nights. it’s not possible it will happen on it’s own after a certian time

    #26 | Comment by Tom Foolery — February 20, 2008 @ 5:49 pm

  27. Erm… Mormonism is just as lame as any other cult…er I mean religion. They all try to brainwash you. They all try to tell you that you’re doing something wrong. Fact.

    Mormons must like to fuck though, as every Mormon family that I know have 2 million kids each. Give them some credit, they get to hit the real deal, not just jack off to pictures, or in Justin L’s case, pictures of 8 year olds…

    #27 | Comment by JRC — February 20, 2008 @ 6:20 pm

  28. After I saw 40 Days and 40 Nights I tried to give up masturbation to see how long I could go.

    After two weeks I started having stabbing pains from blue balls and it didn’t go away for days even after I resumed fapping.

    I’m NEVER doing that again.

    #28 | Comment by nerima — February 20, 2008 @ 6:56 pm

  29. “As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented…”

    Yeah, I bet.

    #29 | Comment by M. Kahn — February 20, 2008 @ 7:21 pm

  30. Unless you do it till you bleed, masturbation is harmless.

    #30 | Comment by Tony — February 20, 2008 @ 7:28 pm

  31. #28….after I saw 40-days and 40-nights I immediately fapped to an orgy fantasy of Shannyn Sossamon and all those hot girls in the computer place that dood worked in!

    #31 | Comment by MacDaddy — February 20, 2008 @ 8:09 pm

  32. I wonder if these jerks got some of our tax dollars as part of Bush’s financing of “faith-based initiatives.”

    #32 | Comment by BeefJerky — February 20, 2008 @ 9:36 pm

  33. #32, think we can get some money for my new faith-based initiative “Jerking off to scriptures”? Or short slogan will be WWJF.

    #33 | Comment by Tanzarian — February 20, 2008 @ 10:16 pm

  34. i remember my first time.

    i thought there was a limit to how many times i could do it and i was afraid i would hit the limit.

    thankfully, i’ve hit that limit a few thousand times with no consequences.

    #34 | Comment by tehpunk — February 21, 2008 @ 1:30 am

  35. Justin already posted the ultimate masturbation deterrent.

    This frightened my penis into hiding for several days. I couldn’t even get it to leave it’s shell by offering it a nice leaf to nibble on.

    #35 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — February 21, 2008 @ 2:15 am

  36. everything was good until they mentioned the pray rather than masturbate. Thats was weird.

    #36 | Comment by IAmNotAPC — February 21, 2008 @ 2:27 am

  37. #35 – EPIC THREAD.


    #37 | Comment by AngelBaby — February 21, 2008 @ 2:50 am

  38. We all know this was made by someone really smart, I mean, look how they can count to 20 with only 17 numbers.

    #38 | Comment by TheDude — February 21, 2008 @ 5:13 am

  39. Did anyone fap to Shannyn Sossamon DURING the movie itself?

    You had to be fucking quick.

    #39 | Comment by matt — February 21, 2008 @ 8:54 am

  40. #18 – You’re going to have to think of ways to spend your 31 dollars every month.

    #40 | Comment by Evil Monkey — February 25, 2008 @ 3:34 am

  41. #40 – I’m thinking porn is a good reward for myself.

    #41 | Comment by Nobody — February 25, 2008 @ 5:05 pm

  42. “14. Keep your bladder empty. Believe it or not, having a full bladder can cause you to feel sexually stimulated. As strange as it sounds you may find that going to the bathroom often makes it easier to refrain from masturbating.”

    Oh, wait now I get it, I never found those pics of ScarJo arousing, I really just had to pee.

    #42 | Comment by Evil Monkey — February 25, 2008 @ 5:16 pm

  43. I overcame one time.. gave myself a facial. Yuck.

    #43 | Comment by mister — February 26, 2008 @ 12:31 am

  44. #43- I saw that once on a video. The girl was jacking him and aimed too close to him and he shot himself. There’s a tip for that. Pretend it’s a bottle of bubbly. Point away from yourself.

    So this whole post is assuming any of us want to quit. So you want us to look at all these pictures of Jojo’s ass and Kristen Bell and not beat?

    #44 | Comment by billiardboy7286 — February 26, 2008 @ 6:25 pm

  45. they are saying what every other religious group is saying about masturbation and pornography in that it is a sin and against God but if you look at a lot of religious based sites christian and moslem they all say the same thing. in fact some non main stream groups are so very legalistic in fact one site called this guy and his site extreme legalism, the site is bethelministries and the guy running it is Harry Bethel,warning this guy is very legalistic and another one is atruechurch run by Darwin Fish, and also the Amish because they are against pictures because they believe it is against the second commandment, and also wahabism(moslem) and others who also do not believe in pictures and if the terrorist win I read they they are against pornography and if connected to wahabism even against pictures. not only would this site be closed but even the regular celebrity picture sites. the web may be text only or if they are against the internet like the group(christian) called exclusive brethren (yes they are against computers and the internet)and also some groups are against Christmas, Easter and other holidays and other things. if the terorists win and connected to wahabism or any simular group warning wahabism is very legalistic.

    #45 | Comment by Doug62 — February 27, 2008 @ 7:22 pm

  46. What I go to a celebrity blog site and find a anti masturbation/pornography religious site except it is like one in a million just go to any religious site not just the mormons and you will see that almost all of them would probably say the same thing the masturbation and pornography are wrong and if you you were to have links to all of there sites there would be so many that this site may not have enough room for them all. well maybe some room but it would be a very long list if you want to link to a anti masturbation/pornography site, check out World Sex News they sometimes link to anti masturbation/pornography sites except they are from news sources.

    #46 | Comment by Doug62 — February 28, 2008 @ 2:41 am

  47. ^^^


    #47 | Comment by WhoMe — February 28, 2008 @ 3:29 am

  48. Are you telling me my grammar is bad, I know what you are talking about, I have also seen bad grammar on other sites. I usually check my grammar, unfortunately this was an upsetting article so I was probably too upset to check my grammar and unfortunately you can’t seem to correct any mistakes you make after you submit your comment.

    #48 | Comment by Doug62 — March 13, 2008 @ 7:24 am

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