Jessica Alba

So, Jessica had her baby back on June 7. It was a girl, which they named Honor Marie. Hopefully, she’ll grow up to be as hawt as mommy. Guys, start your countdown-til-legal clocks now.

In celebration of the Alba genes being successfully perpetuated, here’s a video of Jess demonstrating her mutant staring power. But I think I’ve got what it takes to beat her. Let’s go, bitch! You’re mine!

3…2…1… GO!

Damn. I lost.

Curse you and your bionic eyes, Jessica Alba!

35 thoughts on “Jessica Alba

  1. She got herpes from Derek Jeter

    #1 | Comment by Ouch — June 17, 2008 @ 12:34 pm

  2. 1st!

    #2 | Comment by Sick Bass Terd — June 17, 2008 @ 12:36 pm

  3. w00t 2nd! Drats, lost too T_T

    #3 | Comment by Undefined — June 17, 2008 @ 12:36 pm

  4. mmmmmm, Albaaaaaaa

    …and thats all I have to say about that…

    #4 | Comment by MacDaddy — June 17, 2008 @ 12:45 pm

  5. #2/3 – lolz pwnt.

    #5 | Comment by AngelBaby — June 17, 2008 @ 1:17 pm

  6. she already looks away after only 20 seconds.
    she lost. big time.
    can we have more zooey now?

    #6 | Comment by Anonamemouse — June 17, 2008 @ 1:26 pm

  7. I lost, but only because she was fully clothed.

    I guarantee I can stare at a naked Jessica Alba longer than she can stare at me.

    #7 | Comment by Bender — June 17, 2008 @ 1:32 pm

  8. She eked out a win over me too, but just barely. She is good looking, I’ll give her that. I had kind of forgotten.

    #8 | Comment by Kewtr — June 17, 2008 @ 1:56 pm

  9. I had her fine… and then I just kind of looked at something else, forgot I was staring, and blinked.

    #9 | Comment by sodapopinski — June 17, 2008 @ 2:07 pm

  10. She’s not as cute as she used to be. It took me two views for my eyes to roll back.

    #10 | Comment by Dave — June 17, 2008 @ 2:15 pm

  11. i beat her twice in a row.

    #11 | Comment by Jonobo — June 17, 2008 @ 2:20 pm

  12. i legitimately did not blink through that entire video and this post

    #12 | Comment by yoi — June 17, 2008 @ 2:30 pm

  13. i have no eyelids…they were cut off by Apache warriors when they tied me to an anthill…but i deserved it…

    btw, HAWT

    #13 | Comment by geekazoid — June 17, 2008 @ 3:30 pm

  14. Jessica Alba has eyes? I never looked up that far.

    #14 | Comment by dex — June 17, 2008 @ 5:02 pm

  15. Hah! This was fun.

    #15 | Comment by Lithium — June 17, 2008 @ 5:18 pm

  16. Honor..? give the gal sixteen years and I’ll get up ONHER!

    #16 | Comment by CroKe — June 17, 2008 @ 5:24 pm

  17. #16 wins

    #17 | Comment by Justin — June 17, 2008 @ 5:49 pm

  18. Outrageously fuckable in Idle Hands, downhill ever since.

    What’s with people beginning blogs with “so”?

    “So I saw a movie last night.”

    “So I broke up with my boyfriend.”

    “So I have inoperable cerebral cancer.”

    “So?” Be more assertive, for fuck’s sake. At the school I went to you’d have been subjected to gang buggery for using so like that.

    #18 | Comment by cobalt — June 17, 2008 @ 5:53 pm

  19. ^^^
    so, what was it like being on the receiving end of gang buggery by schoolmates?

    ^_^

    #19 | Comment by AngelBaby — June 17, 2008 @ 6:18 pm

  20. ^^^ lul

    I fell in love with Alba when she was on P.U.N.K.S. Does any one remember this movie?

    #20 | Comment by Voyeurism — June 17, 2008 @ 6:52 pm

  21. Aw man AB, you are a lightweight 🙂 I beat her and hahaha I was about to say I still haven’t blinked but I just did looking from keyboard to screen… argh and three times since, crazy. Also, in regards to #19, have we stumbled upon one of your fantasies? 🙂

    #21 | Comment by MIK — June 17, 2008 @ 8:39 pm

  22. hopefully the kid won’t inherit Alba’s frog legs.

    #22 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — June 17, 2008 @ 9:00 pm

  23. take that albaaaaaaaa. I win !! woohoo!!!

    #23 | Comment by the man — June 17, 2008 @ 9:40 pm

  24. I can go several minutes without blinking… never really timed myself but it’s really easy for me to beat her (or anyone else for that matter) in a staring contest.

    #24 | Comment by furiousweebee — June 18, 2008 @ 3:58 am

  25. this vid is old.

    #25 | Comment by LazyTownFan — June 18, 2008 @ 4:56 am

  26. Thats it it baby, hold that head still for a just a few seconds longer! I’m almost there, I’m almost there! Here it comes! , thats it take that, take it all, yeah……

    What that? You want a towel?

    #26 | Comment by pirho — June 18, 2008 @ 6:47 am

  27. Lol, I’d never heard of that P.U.N.K.S. film before. Virginal Young Alba! The plot sounds strangely similar to The Tuxedo.

    #19 – Soooo traumatizing, AB. But I’m saving the juicy parts for my autobiography. All title suggestions are welcome.

    #27 | Comment by cobalt — June 18, 2008 @ 1:44 pm

  28. So, what’s so unassertive about using “so” to start off sentences?

    #28 | Comment by Nobody — June 18, 2008 @ 1:46 pm

  29. #20 – i’ve never seen that movie, but i wish Idle Hands-era Alba had been in D.E.B.S.

    mmmmm…teenage lesby secret agents.

    #29 | Comment by AngelBaby — June 18, 2008 @ 2:38 pm

  30. Bah, staring contests are easy.

    My record is ten minutes without blinking.

    God my eyes hurt afterwards though.

    #30 | Comment by oofoo — June 18, 2008 @ 5:28 pm

  31. Wow feels weird having a gorgeously hot women stare at me. I actually didn’t mind it. Not sure what all those women were complaining about when I did it to them.

    #31 | Comment by Evil Monkey — June 19, 2008 @ 2:33 am

  32. New competition is to try and cum over her face before she blinks. >.<

    #32 | Comment by Psyper — June 19, 2008 @ 5:47 pm

  33. in full screen on youtube, it felt like we connected.

    #33 | Comment by JM — June 21, 2008 @ 6:22 am

  34. This video makes me feel creepy.

    #34 | Comment by Rafa — June 23, 2008 @ 5:02 pm

  35. I put this on and fap

    #35 | Comment by hairy — June 17, 2009 @ 11:41 am

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