F.U.B.A.R. gets a shot of estrogen?

So you come to this site for the tits or the blog right? This testosterone haven of videogame commentary sprinkled with your favorite actress caught flashing nipple in the backyard mysteriously vulnerable to paparazzi (God bless the zoom lens). But was it all getting a little dull? Did you come one day and realize that Drew Barrymore is in fact far inferior to Kristen Kreuk and furthermore that there are no naked Kreuk pictures whatsoever?

Fear not loyal readers, for Justin’s continuing commitment to frame your free porn with humor and minutes of internet fame through the posting of your comments and email has inspired him to the next level: blog + breasts = more fun than Two For One day at the whorehouse.

Introducing Cleo v.1.0, engineered for female commentary on such hot topics as sex, movies, and the lost art of falling Up the stairs. I’m not afraid to get down to the core of an issue – I proudly proclaim that I plan to boycot Zelda for Gamecube after years of near Link-monogamy, based on nothing other than the fact that it looks like something a japanimation baby with Down’s syndrome chewed up and shat out. I will report first-hand from a hotbed of anthrax scares and smoking rubble about how two planes and a whole bunch of miniature american flags ensured that this entire generation of students and soldiers will never again hire a cab driver in the city without having to add ‘terrorist’ to a list of descriptions that already include snippets like ‘the stench of roadkill and hairlice’ and ‘possible rapist.’ Above all I will attempt to recreate famous IM conversations with Justin about my quandry of choice when faced with attraction to females – is the soft lovely attractiveness of tits and face drowned in the fear that comes hand-in-hand with diving into a veritable cavern of doom (sometimes a journey through dreadlocks of hair and tunnels of wicked stench with no weapons other than an underdeveloped gag reflex and a tube of KY)?

This and more coming soon.

Whoever posts the first response gets a .wav of me making a speech of their choosing. Unless that .wav includes both myself moaning and a sheep bleating because c’mon, I have to keep some things private.

14 thoughts on “F.U.B.A.R. gets a shot of estrogen?

  1. I couldn’t resist.

    #1 | Comment by mike — February 7, 2002 @ 12:59 pm

  2. Dammit… I had a really good speech too.

    #2 | Comment by Derec — February 7, 2002 @ 1:21 pm

  3. Friends, countrymen, and cyber-perverts, lend me your ears. I implore you not to listen to mike and derek, but to me. I’m not prodding you nor pushing you; i am saving you. I am saving you from the desperation and the eventual doom you will suffer if you listen or even read their one-liners. This so-called speech of derek’s, was it a speech for gods like us, or common heathens with no jobs and a good hand? The main lady of the moment, the estrogen herself- Cleo, I challenge you to tear your beautiful eyes away from this post and even make an attempt to adore the comments made by the others. If you could, then you are a lady not worth of such a name as Cleo.

    Just give me the .wav file, please?
    Just post my name up on the webpage and i’ll tell if it’s really me.
    you’ll know it’s me, beacuse the password is **********

    #3 | Comment by good guy — February 7, 2002 @ 4:16 pm

  4. *A sense of despair engulf Iris as she ponders about if trammel(the REAL trammel) will ever return*


    #4 | Comment by Iris — February 7, 2002 @ 5:19 pm

  5. To the victor (or quick) go the spoils……

    But, the speech that I would like would require and english accent. If Cleo is unable to speak in an english accent, then I would have to acquiesce and allow Cleo to choose the benefactor of her most interesting and clever gift.

    #5 | Comment by mike — February 7, 2002 @ 5:31 pm

  6. Welcome, Cleo. I don’t care about getting your .wav file, now go find me porn to look at, preferably Miss Kruek, even if you have to utilize photoshop to get the job done.

    #6 | Comment by Krome — February 7, 2002 @ 7:25 pm

  7. very nice.

    it actually takes me more then a glance to comprehend your posts though. i have to actually read and stuff. damn.

    not that i’m complaining. i’m just a lazy asshole.

    #7 | Comment by will.hinds. — February 7, 2002 @ 7:58 pm

  8. oi justine!

    no no no it shouldn’t be cleo… it should be justine…

    by the way, looking through your earlier stages of this site, you actually had another site. wat happened to it?

    just tell me cos me too lazy to flip thru all the other bullshit.

    #8 | Comment by ah beng — February 7, 2002 @ 9:01 pm

  9. oh… and pass me the .wav file puleeze.

    #9 | Comment by ah beng — February 7, 2002 @ 9:03 pm

  10. My old site was just a regular ‘homepage’ kinda thing. Exactly like some of the lousy ones that you can find on angelfire or geocities these days. Whatever happened to it?

    Long story: too long
    Short story: it died

    Hey Cleo… i want that moaning.wav file too! POST IT.


    #10 | Comment by Justin — February 7, 2002 @ 9:12 pm

  11. zelda has down’s syndrome. hahahahahah ah ahahahahahah ok. I got so lost after that.

    #11 | Comment by vass — February 7, 2002 @ 9:39 pm

  12. w00t. <3 cleoooooo 🙂

    #12 | Comment by Ketamine — February 8, 2002 @ 3:57 am

  13. <3

    end of line

    #13 | Comment by Jaymis — February 9, 2002 @ 2:47 am

  14. you know, that <3 thing looks more like genitalia than a heart.

    #14 | Comment by dapHid — February 14, 2002 @ 12:47 pm

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