Nelly Furtado

7 04 2002

Remember that Nelly Retardo post that i made way back in January? You know, this one.

Well, for some reason, i’ve gotten a couple of new comments on that post.

Justin – She ain’t arrogant. She sings both nasal and with open tones. She most certainly isn’t tryin’ to sound black (if she did, she failed – I don’t hear it – not sure where you’re getting that – if it’s her quasi-rapping: the Portuguese have had a rapping style for centuries). She’s definitely down to earth yet sure of herself – not arrogant. You’re entitled to your opinion, and mine is: You sound like an ignorant doofus -have you heard the album? It’s quite creative – I think it even won a Grammy – know what that is and who it is that votes?
Posted by SIR – 4:38am April 3, 2002

SIR, i don’t WANT to listen to her album. I’d rather stick a pencil in my ear.

Justin –
You’re a loser. Nelly is awesome. Just by the looks of her boobies, you can tell the girl has talent. Her coochie smells like daisies. Therefore she can dance as well. The only other artist ever that can compete with her is Danzig. They both rock. But “just because she rocks doesn’t mean she’s made of stone” – Mike Gagliano (adopted Jewish boy). She has feelings and if she ever read what you wrote, she would cry, then beat you up. You’re a meanie head and she’s a tough grrrrl. I think you need to stop masturbating, and start lisetening to her CD (with pants on!). By the way, your nipples are ugly.
Posted by Heather – 6:26pm April 7, 2002

Heather, i want to see your boobs.

Anyhow, i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again. I HATE NELLY FUCKING RETARDO. She cannot sing for crap. Some of her songs had some good rhythms and beats, and she screwed them all up by opening her mouth. And what the fuck is that stupid bird song anyway? It worse than that other dumb turn off the lights crap. If she’s so much like a bird, and going to fly away, why the fuck hasn’t she? Maybe if her song hadn’t been played to the max on the radio, she wouldn’t be as annoying. Maybe if her voice didn’t sound like a bad saxaphone’s player imitation of a cat being run over by a car, i wouldn’t begin to cower and whimper every time it started to play on the radio. Maybe if she didn’t have such a big ass nose… Anyway, she has all of that, and i really don’t like her.

Her voice is all scratchy like she was brushing her teeth and just started brushing her throat raw. Ohh… bad mental images. Anyway, she really cannot sing. Her voice goes up in pitch then goes down a bit , then up and down and up and down. I don’t think she planned for it to do that, but if she did then she’s just stupid because it sounds terrible.

She’s NOT good, so stop telling her she is! It’s such a crock of shit the way she won those Grammy’s. Ok, fine, at least she writes her own stuff, but seriously. It’s BAD. She’s BAD. She should just go AWAY! Fuck! Go to hell, Nelly Furtado! Maybe in a different life, and a different time, i would have liked you, but right now you’re just another bad singer. But for one thing, she really does look like a bird, which I intend as a compliment to her honesty. I am like a profoundly annoyed bird after listening to this song. The “Hidden Gap Advert, Crouching Freshly Scrubbed Co-ed” video does a lot to obscure this lousy POS song.

She considers Missy Elliot ‘one of the best urban acts in the world.’ WTF? Someone once commented that she has a nice rack. So what? She looks like she’s in a coma or something on the cover of her CD. That isn’t a good thing to aim for, and again if she was actually aiming for that comafied look…all I have to say is NO.

DIE NELLY RETARDO. DIE!


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18 responses to “Nelly Furtado”

    7 04 2002
  • 1.  Lucy (20:40:34) :

    I couldn’t agree more. She has no talent for singing, her lyrics aren’t that great, she is not attractive (as far as I’m concerned)

    She sucks, PERIOD.

  • 7 04 2002
  • 2.  Miss Shigatsu (21:54:59) :

    i admit, i wasted my money on her cd. granted i got it for $5 in the "scratched" bin of the local used cd store, but i still did it. i was hoping that i’d like at least one song on the whole thing. i mostly like the 2 songs she’s had out thus far, but the remixes sucked. the rest of the cd is a total dissappointment. if anybody wants it, let me know. i’ll ship it to you free of charge, cover and all. i’m now going to go scrub my brain again to remove what’s left of the memory of that cd…

  • 8 04 2002
  • 3.  waterneversleeps (12:24:51) :

    Where in the hell is Missy Elliot going in those snowmobile jackets she’s always wearing?
    You think it’s that cold in L.A.???

    Nelly Furtado = Paula Abdul

    Good to have you back dude!

  • 8 04 2002
  • 4.  vass (12:36:31) :

    i wouldnt kick nelly out of bed

  • 8 04 2002
  • 5.  Lucy (21:06:13) :

    But would you listen to her sing?

  • 8 04 2002
  • 6.  suzi (22:27:11) :

    she lacks the slightest hint of talent

  • 9 04 2002
  • 7.  Some Guy (12:02:54) :

    well if no one would listen to her music or buy it she may do playboy, thats the only thing i gots to say, lika muha fuka

  • 9 04 2002
  • 8.  vass (22:16:26) :

    nelly furtado = hot piece of ass……and you fucking know it

  • 10 04 2002
  • 9.  Lucy (02:14:06) :

    *rolls eyes*

  • 11 04 2002
  • 10.  Nice Guy Eddie (08:50:52) :

    nelly furtado = ass that needs a hot piece of metal jabed up it
    ……and you fucking know it

  • 15 04 2002
  • 11.  UberBeast (22:20:34) :

    I was going thru some of my old video’s the otherday(u know, those big plastic recordable things, unlike DVunfknrecordableD’s). What i discovered is that smelly fat turdo is actually ‘the’ Martika of this century. Does anyone remember her from the early 1990’s. Well its time to fire up the time machine and go back and take a look. (But only a quick look otherwise your heads will Xplode)
    And Justin, for your peace of mind, if no one actually remembers Martika, now then in ten years time you can pretty much be garauteed that Smelly Fat Turdo’s I’m Like A Turd (piece of crap song) will also be forgotten sometime in the next ten years, (if not in the next ten minutes), or until some flacid, half sucked commercial radio station decides they need to play it again, so they can get their daily dose of pre-pubescent pop princess inbetween their slatherings of Britney Reebok Pump Up My Volume when i need breasts Spears and LeAnne i used to be so innocent but now im trying to drink all the others pop sluts under the table Rhymes.
    Am i bitter. No. I just dont like commercial music. It takes all the limelight away from the truly talented underground people. As for the Grammy award, if anyone reading this site atually believes the Grammys arent rigged, then you also probably don’t know the difference between a salad and a blow job, in which case i wouldnt mind taking you out for a whole picnic .( You must be female to qualify for this offer. If your male, you’re just a teenage dirt bag, and you need to listen to Megadeath more, they talk more about conspiarcy thoery than Iron Maiden do.)
    The bottom line is the Smelly Fat Turdo is the flavour of the hour, and her time is just about up……

  • 14 05 2002
  • 12.  u guys suck (23:54:28) :

    he is soo hot, no shes not some slut with implants , but she comes across as the girl nextdoor, anybody who says they would not "give her a go" is 1) gay or 2) gay

  • 16 05 2002
  • 13.  Dragon_Flygirl (18:02:49) :

    You guys I’m not one to be baised but she’s only out there trying to live her dream whether she breaks a couple of window while she’s at it or not. I love to sing and people say I have a pretty voice but I never insult other people!
    Most people who insult others are
    1) imature
    2) jealous
    3) meantally disturbed
    -Dragon_Flygirl

  • 2 06 2002
  • 14.  ACRO-GOD (23:00:58) :

    the director who said "fuck DVD" was Kevin Smith. So much for my 2 cents.

  • 17 03 2004
  • 15.  Sweeper (20:31:29) :

    Y’all buncha mofo’s.. I came here to see booty. Whining about Nelly Furtado? Missy’s coats? What, L.A.? She’s from VA! And Nelly? Not only does this girl look fine as hell.. She can sing too. And to the f’in’ haters, like Justin? Snap out of it. Go find yourself a hobby. Leave your opinion’bout Nelly to yourself.

  • 21 01 2005
  • 16.  Lupuss (20:15:55) :

    I can’t believe what I’ve just read. Nelly is a hottie AND a good singer.

  • 30 03 2007
  • 17.  jamie (12:05:46) :

    dirty hole ewwwwwwwwww,,,her lips are puss filled herpe scabs.shes pumping out hits like fetuses. go nelly go ;;; raise those fatherless children somewere else, like another country. ahh ahh ifeel better like i just took a dump.

  • 6 04 2007
  • 18.  Azores Goddess (05:14:57) :

    Nelly was always a trouble child getting into the wrong crowd, always trying to fit in. She was trying to get accepted by the black community when she first moved to Toronto and that didn’t fly. She is trying very hard to make it and will do almost anything to promote herself. I agree, she sucks but somehow many people love her signing. She aint pretty, she can’t sign, she can’t act, she’s a mean selfish biatch to her family. No wonder she can’t keep a man.

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