Asia Argento.

Half of you reading this probably have NO idea who she is. And even if you do, you probably had no idea who she was before Rob Cohen decided to put her in his next movie. And i don’t blame you. She hasn’t had that much exposure outside of the art house flicks that she’s usually in. Of course, that’s all gonna change once xXx comes out next week. I’ll bet you a million bucks that people are gonna be hitting up google searching for nude pics of her after they see that movie.

Oh and by they way, her name’s pronounced ‘Ah-zi-a’. Not ‘Asia’, as in like where i’m originally from.

Asia Argento.

All you hardcore horror fans out there might recognize that last name of hers. That’s right, she’s the daughter of Italy’s legendary master of horror, Dario Argento. Director of many influential classic Italian giallo movies. I own a couple of them on DVD (Deep Red and Suspiria). One of these days, i’m gonna have to go out and get Tenebre. And possibly The Stendhal Syndrome (If only for the fact that Asia is in it. And that she gets naked in it too. Then again, she gets naked in pretty much all her movies. Well, except for xXx. Because it’s PG-13. But yeah, TSS is actually a pretty lousy flick. Maybe i shouldn’t buy it. Not even for the Asia nakedness. Maybe i should get B.Monkey instead. She gets naked in that one too. :D). Fair warning though, his movies (Dario’s… and Asia’s too for that matter…) probably won’t appeal much to most mainstream audiences. And i wouldn’t recommend watching any of Mr. Argento’s movies made after 1982. He kind of lost his touch after he made Opera. Stick to his 70’s and early 80’s stuff. Classics.

I watched Audition a coupla nights ago. I don’t wanna spoil the movie for anyone who hasn’t already seen it but can i just say that Audition is probably the first movie EVER where i felt like wanting to turn the movie off and stop watching just out of disgust? I have never seen anything more sadistic than the final act of Audition.

It even beats out that final scene of The Doom Generation where that guy gets his penis chopped off.

Did i just spoil The Doom Generation for you?

Oh well. Don’t worry about it. I doubt anybody’s ever heard of that movie. It sucks anyway.

But i won’t spoil Audition. Oh no. That movie is just too good to spoil. So i URGE you to go seek out that movie on DVD. Or VCD. Or VHS. Or whatever. That movie is SICK. The final act of Audition gets downright Silent Hill 2-ish freaky. And the last 20 minutes… OH SO PAINFUL. You NEED to watch that movie.

The Japanese are sadistic sadistic people…

But anyway, speaking about turning movies off out of disgust, i had no problem doing the same with UHF though. Good God that is one terrible movie. Comedy classic my ass. 15 minutes of UHF was all i could stomach. Maybe i’ll go trade it in for some in store credit or something over at Babbages. Or Gamestop.

UHF and Supernova and Best Men. <--- NOT WORTH YOUR TIME OR MONEY. STAY AWAY FROM THOSE MOVIES. Random thoughts:

  • The Devil’s Backbone was a good movie. Solid. Guillermo Del Toro is great.

  • Ryan Starr got kicked off American Idol last week. I want to see her naked.
  • Tomorrow is DVD Tuesday. LOTR comes out. I must buy.
  • I really don’t like Kristin Kreuk. I find her totally unappealing. Not my type.
  • Plus she has a weird name. Kreuk?
  • I really like Sarah Silverman. I think she is very attractive.
  • NiceGuyEddie wins the guessing game. He was the first to guess the answer correctly.
  • Although he probably wouldn’t have gotten it right if it weren’t for my little clue.
  • In fact, none of you would’ve either. That clue was a dead giveaway.
  • You all NEED to watch Audition.
  • You also need to stop staring at Asia’s boobs.
  • 39 thoughts on “Tada!

    1. eh that other chick ive never heard of was better.

      #1 | Comment by suzi — August 5, 2002 @ 2:41 am

    2. DAMN IT…Uncle Jesse just doesn’t get the reconition he deserves…but yea Asia is a good choice…and no…I will not stop staring at her boobs.

      #2 | Comment by Willy K — August 5, 2002 @ 3:57 am

    3. Justin-

      This chick is fUGLY! And regardless why do you never change your banner pics. That still has Avril. Looks wrong. Change that banner collage to whatever else you layout the site with.

      Seriously Az-Hi-Ah is nasty. If you think Sarah Silverman is as hot as I do, I say go with her! Besides, I never found too many pics of her.

      #3 | Comment by smash — August 5, 2002 @ 5:41 am

    4. xXx is going to suck but Asia is hott. i hope people dont see that movie. i wouldnt even see xXx for her. i allmost puke everytime i see the preview for that lame movie. im sure if i see it blood will spurt out my nose!

      #4 | Comment by Ian — August 5, 2002 @ 6:01 am

    5. Wow. I wish i had known about this Asia girl sooner. She is HOT!!! Reminds me a bit of Angelina Jolie.

      Smash, what are you talking about? The top picture isnt Avril. Maybe you need to clean your cache and refresh.

      #5 | Comment by Matt — August 5, 2002 @ 6:10 am

    6. Asia Argento’s got a kickin bod, but i don’t like her face. Kristin Kreuk is way hotter.

      #6 | Comment by dooky — August 5, 2002 @ 7:05 am

    7. Go back to Avril, she shits over Asis and Kristin, or maybe try Shakira, she can be hot, if shes got make-up on…

      #7 | Comment by Fat Wombat — August 5, 2002 @ 8:03 am

    8. Don’t listen to the disbelievers Justin! Asia is new hotness. I don’t think people will mistake you for Asia either. Your tits aren’t big enough.

      She is nice n’ bitchy too. She said Monica Bellucci was "just tits and ass", "French men stink of cheese and red wine" and that she doesn’t want to live in her homeland anymore.

      Go Asia.

      #8 | Comment by edo — August 5, 2002 @ 8:08 am

    9. who the hell is trying to steal my name?

      I’m the only Nice Guy Eddie and whoever else is using it can get bent…

      i dont care if you guessed Asia corectly…

      Get Bent

      I expect any response to be signed
      ‘The Fool Formerly known as NGEddie’

      #9 | Comment by Nice Guy Eddie — August 5, 2002 @ 8:34 am

    10. Wow, it’s been many years since I’ve been using that tag and this is the first time I’ve run into another NGE! Cool.
      I think if anyone’s stealing, it’s both of us from Tarantino?
      But if it makes you feel any better, I don’t use spaces in the name. And I’ve been using this tag forever, back in the days when ESPN.com actually had chat rooms instead of message boards, so it’s nothing new. Really it’s not like the universe will cease to exist if two NGEs meet… so chill and have fun!

      #10 | Comment by NiceGuyEddie — August 5, 2002 @ 8:58 am

    11. Justin

      I hate to suggest reworking the layout again, but Sarah Silverman would be a great layout! She’s much more funky and quirky that the rest of these run-of-the-mill T&A women.

      #11 | Comment by RedEye — August 5, 2002 @ 9:23 am

    12. Alas… but there are no good pics of her out there. And she is much too obscure to use for a layout. Plus i’d need to use some pretty big hi res glam pics of her which, sadly, are non-existent. Besides, i want the hits that this Asia layout will be bringing next week =PP

      #12 | Comment by Justin — August 5, 2002 @ 9:30 am

    13. u guys suck. asia is fucking hot!! dude if u go back to that kritsy krook whatever girl, im gonna eat a kitten!! fuck when is xxx coming out again? i wanna see that. asia i want to kiss your lucious lips!!!

      #13 | Comment by manowar — August 5, 2002 @ 9:37 am

    14. Ok, calling all American people out there. I’m giving you some inside info from the UK that USA people do not realise yet.

      You will soon be seeing an advert for a film called Lucky Star – it trailers a film about a ‘Mr H’ (Bennico Del Toro) and his ability to beat everyone at their own game – casinos, stock market etc etc. The FBI can’t work out how he does it. It’s directed by Michael Mann and looks superb…..

      BUT WAIT!! It’s not a film, it’s a clever advert for Mercedes. It’s fooled everyone in the UK and its heading your way….supposedly if it creates enough interest they may make the film for real!

      Check out http://www.luckyluckystar.com – be ahead of the game! 😉

      #14 | Comment by Omen — August 5, 2002 @ 9:46 am

    15. Damn. Asia looks like a cracwhore. Get rid of her.

      #15 | Comment by Mike — August 5, 2002 @ 9:58 am

    16. ok – i normally stick to the NGEddie version,

      and since we have co-existed this long without knowing it i can only assume the universe isn’t going to explode (or if it does you cant blame me)…

      as a side note,
      I did admitedly steal from Tarantino, but also one of my favourite songs is still Nice Guy Eddie by Sleeper.
      I believe they were obscure and english, and theyve since broke up, so probably wont know them…

      (ok – a carrot to the first person who can name another sleeper song)

      #16 | Comment by NGEddie — August 5, 2002 @ 10:00 am

    17. NO NO NO, new layout Justin. She’s gross. And the pictures are raunchy.

      #17 | Comment by eve — August 5, 2002 @ 10:45 am

    18. Asias is hot, I likes good call Justin

      #18 | Comment by D — August 5, 2002 @ 10:51 am

    19. sarah silverman would make a good layout.

      #19 | Comment by eenodol — August 5, 2002 @ 11:09 am

    20. you stupidhead. didnt you read what he said? no good pics of her out there. dumass. KEEP THIS LAYOUT. or i eat kitten!!!

      #20 | Comment by manowar — August 5, 2002 @ 11:17 am

    21. http://www.darkdreams.org/asia8.html
      interesting site for people who like Asia. She has some wild tatoos.

      #21 | Comment by tww — August 5, 2002 @ 12:14 pm

    22. :O

      holy mother of god…

      #22 | Comment by alan — August 5, 2002 @ 12:26 pm

    23. While this layout of Asia is MUCH better than that one of Avril and I respect Justin’s decision to use her to get hits to the site because of the impending interest when xXx opens, I’m disappointed that I didn’t have the chance to see the Kristin Kreuk layout.

      2 days? According to the timestamps on the messages, she was up for less than 24 hours. I can’t believe that "For the love of Kirsten Dunst: (I) VISIT THIS SITE IN EXCESS OF TEN TIMES DAILY," even when Justin does not update and then on the one day I can’t visit I miss what sounds like a good layout. It just isn’t fair.

      Please Justin, post a link to the Kristin layout for those of us who missed it.


      #23 | Comment by Smartass — August 5, 2002 @ 1:03 pm

    24. sucks to be you guys I knew he was changing it last night nice choice justin.

      #24 | Comment by josh — August 5, 2002 @ 2:06 pm

    25. mmmmm Asia…want to touch the hiney!! And UHF rules, you can’t dis Mr. Frying pan!

      #25 | Comment by bligityblah — August 5, 2002 @ 2:43 pm

    26. he kind of posted last night and said he was changing it..

      #26 | Comment by suzi — August 5, 2002 @ 2:49 pm

    27. JUSTIN!! I can’t believe your using Asia Argento for the new layout… personally, I thought Kristen Kreuk layout was great, but then again I’ve been obsessed with her since I saw the Cinderella movie…But it’s your decision and I know your desperate for hits, but ASIA "shag me till I bleed" ARGENTO?!?! Any woman who will appear in a movie by that arse Rob Cohen (He is no filmmaker) and will co-star with that Bloody Cunt Vin Diesel doesn’t deserve to be a F.U.B.A.U.R. girl…especially if she’s fucking Vin on the side (You heard it first folks)

      #27 | Comment by Nippon_Power — August 5, 2002 @ 3:40 pm

    28. even if she is a whore, I think she beautiful and her tatts only perpetuate that. Keep the Sexy Bitch. I love Kristin Kreuk and even I am thrilled with the Asia layout.

      #28 | Comment by D — August 5, 2002 @ 3:50 pm

    29. Hey Justin – I missed the Kristen layout. Do you have a screen capture or something from it?

      #29 | Comment by Jevin — August 5, 2002 @ 4:12 pm

    30. hello. for those kristen kreuk die hard fans out there, check this site out.


      if you’re big Smallville fans, you ought to remember this. peace.

      #30 | Comment by xenocrates — August 5, 2002 @ 4:25 pm

    31. Thank you, xenocrates, for that link. That rocked!!!

      Yes, suzi, I realized that he posted that he was changing it but if you didn’t get online at all on Sunday (like I was unable to), you didn’t get a chance to check out the layout. That’s all.

      #31 | Comment by Smartass — August 5, 2002 @ 4:41 pm

    32. Jesus GOD, what a disturbingly ugly woman.

      #32 | Comment by thess — August 5, 2002 @ 9:22 pm

    33. Sucks ass.

      #33 | Comment by ......... — August 6, 2002 @ 3:54 am

    34. sadly asia argento is a case of "big tits = beautiful". just because a chick has big tits and gets them out at every available opportunity it doesn’t make her pretty. surely fubar deserves a better girl than this.

      #34 | Comment by mike — August 6, 2002 @ 5:26 am

    35. I really think Asia’a widl qualities makes her the dangerous styled I bitch I dig. Again, at least shes more interesting then Avril.

      #35 | Comment by D — August 6, 2002 @ 5:48 am

    36. Asia is hot, no question. But what about a vs. layout,(trendy, yes) Asia vs. Kreuk or something.
      cause it’s not looking like the ladies love Asia.

      #36 | Comment by shine — August 6, 2002 @ 7:18 am

    37. Eat kitten dude! Bring back Kristin Kreuk.

      #37 | Comment by dooky — August 6, 2002 @ 7:26 am

    38. A Ryan Starr pictorial…

      HUBBA HUBBA! lol

      #38 | Comment by cujo — August 6, 2002 @ 10:06 am

    39. Asia looks pretty good but I just can’t get into all those tattoos

      Here are some more revealing shots of her if anyone interested.


      #39 | Comment by Taker2 — August 6, 2002 @ 12:07 pm

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