Despite how nice of a person you are, sometimes it’s hard not to notice how easily people can be placed in stereotypes. I was on the road the past couple of days and realized that even though the city I’m moving to is of a substantial size, the population repeats itself. Day to day when you walk down the street, it’s like seeing the same people every day.
So here’s a little break down of the boxes I could make.
Mainstreamers, male and female
They shop at the mainstream stores – the stores that carry the same handful of clothing brands that you can find 20 times in the same shopping lane. You know one when you see one. The guys wear the tight shirts and the fashionable pants, they have their nicely cut jackets that probably cost them half a month’s worth of pay, and their shoes are along the lines of whatever brand costs the most, isn’t sporty, and their overall look if seen in america would be considered clubby or just homosexual. Usually, I just call this bunch the beauty boys.
Then there are the mainstream girls. They’re picking up whatever trends are on the racks for the season. You see them tripping over their own 5 inch heels in any given season, their clothes are so tight you wonder how they actually breathe, and in the winter a thick coat generally appears to not be fashionable enough for them – God forbid they look more than their 90 pound constricted frames.
The disturbing thing about this group is that they are only seen together – only about 10% date or are seen with people that don’t look exactly like them. Both genders are super tanned year around, so in the crowds of paleness they are the orangies. It actually looks terrible, but I guess skin cancer and wrinkles at 35 is hip now or something.
Natural Loungers
This group is not gender specific, they both wear the same clothes – hemp, natural fibers, all in dull colors of t-shirts, super wooly sweaters, and cords or tie-around ankle-length skirts. This is more of a college group than anything else. They also flock together and cook together more than often, because no one understands their ‘save the cows’ motto more than their equals. Needless to say, 75% I’ve met are vegetarians. Often seen unshaved, long haired, and without the extras that consumerism has to spare. The girls almost never wear makeup, they make pottery and do natural crafts in their spare time – something they always seem to have more than enough of. The guys think that water and soap are necessities to be overlooked, and deodorant may also be a disposable item in their toiletry. This particular group of people appears to be the more approachable, but in personally conversing with the person you discover they are actually very close-minded and not accepting of people that do not follow their same values. Also, reggae, ragga, soul filled and angsty are the top choices of music.
Hip-hoppers
I live in the area where German hip-hop was first discovered, created and recorded. You can spot a hip hop kiddie and his or her groupies about 50 miles away. It’s pretty similar to the american brand of little dogs, still nipping at everyone’s heals. They’re the 15 year olds that bring beer to the park and spray the town with their shitty unartistic tag names – eventually they all get caught because they have big mouths. They’re the little assholes that prevent me from sleeping on the train because their minidisc players are blasting whatever new gold-rim car music they could scrounge out of the trash. They think they are the ultimate coolies of the world, that their sagging pants and FUBU will help them live life and fufill their dreams. Every little hiphop kiddie has his g-girl, she’s equallly shabbily dressed and usually sporting a bandana and an oversized coat. I still don’t understand why they all have a habit of spitting, I suppose it’s the human version of a dog pissing on a tree. But they make good for entertainment – unless that is, they never grow up. I’ve seen these cases, and surely these are the worst. Because despite the fact that they add 6+ years to their already 15, they don’t change. They just take it a step farther – they’re the super egos of the party, the super sweaters on the dance floor, the ones with their man-made philosophies that they are their own gods and we need to bow.
Rich Old Women
You smell them before you seem them – either their overpriced department store perfume or their dog’s shit on the sidewalk. Every rich woman seems to either have a dog that’s barely as tall as their shoes, or they have enough fur on their coats, hats, sweaters, scarves, and purses to lay claim to 10 slaughtered animals. Rich old women never go gray, they never go white, they’re branded by super blonde or an all over dark color. They draw in their eyebrows, look haughty at all times like they just stuck the frown pill up their ass, and you can at all times see their dark lipstick creased into their wrinkles. These women are probably lonely and fearing the role mortality plays on them, so they drown out their misery in the showing of money. Oh, and GOLD everything.
Babooshkas
It’s the Russian word for Grandmother. I fit all Middle Eastern women into this category that sport the head coverings and long neck-to-ankle balloon. They don’t speak in public unless it’s to their husbands or female friend – and always in their native language. I honestly think that they play so little of a role in life that they don’t bother to learn German because they have no need. It’s not like their allowed friends besides their countrywomen and male family – or like they’ll ever hold or be allowed to have a job. They dress like the Amish – all dark colors, light colors seem forbidden, if you see a red head scarf it’s almost like seeing a red “A” sewn onto their breasts. Their only unique part is the pattern of their head scarf and their shoes. Both always completely clash with the ultra suppressed woman look.
A Babooshka’s man is also dressed in dark, they don’t speak, they walk with their hands in their pockets and have the facial expression of a car thief looking to score a new ride. Black leather is life’s staple, along with heavy Russian clothing I would die wearing. Any season, they are sweating, and you can smell it.
Homeless Punks
They piss me off. They look like punks and they are too above society to work for the man, but they’re not too good to beg for the man’s money. They have lots of dogs, group together like flies on shit, and pretend to be able to play guitar while they sweat through their holey jeans and black leather jackets. I don’t understand them, I don’t want to. These are the only beggars I have no sympathy for. They choose to not be a part of society except the refuse on the street with an open hand and without a thank you. Fuck them. They can piss off.
Wish They Were Still Young and Thin
Women are ridiculous. Especially women in their late 30s and 40s that think dressing outrageously will make their thighs look smaller. The typical example here, which is country specific, is the whatevertrendwashot3yearsago look for teens – along the lines of that alphabet pants things (writing all over it), lots of bold and bright colors that make you gag – and ALWAYS, their pants are too short. So you have this center of attention thing right from their stretched waistbands down. You see the gut, the thighs that meet until the knees, a cutoff of material somewhere between the knee and ankle and then these really, really horrible shiny colored (red or black) half-boot things. It reminds me of a washed out crack whore or an episode with a morning after sceen of “Absolutely Fabulous.” Kill me now.
Americans in Germany
“Oh My God! That is soooo, like, Germany or something – we have to bring one of those home for mom!!!” I don’t know what happens when the average girl hits German soil, but whatever brain was there to begin with fades into this hyper-talkative, like OMG voice that can be heard two blocks away. They openly comment on everyone they see in a very loud voice, obviously not realizing that 75% of German people can speak English, and that 90% understand it.
American guys like beer, and they’re not afraid to show it. That, or they think they are ultra European the minute they buy some european-styled clothing and can say “Geil!” – which is the German equivalent of “cool.” They’re also known for staring at the girls, commenting on nice asses and creating a loud buzz of headache noise wherever they go.
Everyone else
wallpaper.
Finally… a long awaited post!
<3 eve
#1 | Comment by JiL0 — March 10, 2003 @ 7:09 am
Eve, you have my eternal thanks for the new post. I never thought I’d say this, but I really got sick of posts about oral sex and ejaculating into girls’ mouths. Actually, it’s a great post that I’ve got to consider for awhile. Good job! And no, I’m not kissing ass because all the Fubar boys think your sexy.
#2 | Comment by grud — March 10, 2003 @ 7:12 am
Whoops. Contraction typo. ‘re
#3 | Comment by grud — March 10, 2003 @ 7:13 am
Word to the sexy part!
bleh, I’m wallpaper 🙁
Thanks for the post. I could’t have taken it much longer without news from The Intarweb (Read: My life).
#4 | Comment by Kingolf — March 10, 2003 @ 8:15 am
I’ve heard that before, but how can someone understand a language and not be able to speak it?
It may be a stupid question, but I’ve never learned another language, so…
#5 | Comment by Seriously — March 10, 2003 @ 8:49 am
I understand English quite well.
I’ve never spoken it, though.
#6 | Comment by Kingolf — March 10, 2003 @ 9:08 am
Bah forgot the posers. cross between a geek/goth and a mainstream ahole. Those bastards who constantly try to be mainstream but can’t seem to pull it off so they cover it in massive amounts of slang and badly timed jokes from pop culture. They look like they tried to take every fashion possible and mash them together, massive piercings with baggy pants, black nail polish and baseball caps. You may have seen them say "Yeah baby, YEAH!" tens times in one day. I imagine they would be a little different now, but I’ve learned to avoid them by nto watching MTV during the day and avoiding the mail.
#7 | Comment by Dionysus187 — March 10, 2003 @ 9:21 am
Attention!
Mail is EVIL and may contain POSERS!
Do not open your mail, or otherwise come into contact with the post-office.
AVOID mail and set your tupperware free!
#8 | Comment by Kingolf — March 10, 2003 @ 9:33 am
I think a lot of categories were left out. It is like you have never been to Canada or something. You forgot sporto’s, dweebs, motorheads, the business types, etc.. sporto’s are also known as jocks.. regardless of the fact that you missed about 70% of the population and just grouped them all into wallpaper, its a nice change from the mundane rants of the web.. bon job.
#9 | Comment by Dave Marshak — March 10, 2003 @ 9:39 am
Dave, I didn’t say I was going to list all of them. And this is about stereotypes in Germany, not Canada, in case you didn’t catch that.
#10 | Comment by eve — March 10, 2003 @ 9:46 am
Thats some off the wall shit king car door office chair. I like sayin obscure crap purple monkey dishwasher
#11 | Comment by Dionysus187 — March 10, 2003 @ 9:58 am
thought provoking post, lady. 🙂
but i wanna know if you put yourself into a certain box. because i don’t think anyone here could consider you wallpaper… although they might like you plastered all over their walls.
#12 | Comment by starzie — March 10, 2003 @ 10:12 am
I didn’t mean the wallpaper thing seriously, but you know after awhile, if you can’t stereotype a person, then they are just who they are, and they blend in with the rest of the world. It happens. Everyone is different, everyone is the same. I didn’t put myself in a box, I’d have to make the section for the girls that hate shopping now and sew clothes from early high school into tank tops for summer.
#13 | Comment by eve — March 10, 2003 @ 10:45 am
Eve, careful with the Germans. You know what happens when you make them angry. Deustchland, Deustchland, uber alles…
#14 | Comment by grud — March 10, 2003 @ 11:03 am
That’s: "Deutschland über alles!"
for you foreigners.
#15 | Comment by Kingolf — March 10, 2003 @ 11:29 am
Yes my friendly, blue Dane, you are correct. I can’t spell at all today. Horrible! My brain gets ahead of my fingers. Let’s hope that doesn’t start happening in other areas of my life.
#16 | Comment by grud — March 10, 2003 @ 11:37 am
I bet Jennagain could help you restrain yourself.
Or she’ll make you a psychotic wreck.
You never know.
(Creepy, so often I’ve mentioned Jennagain in the last few posts. Perhaps my sub-consciousness is a fucking maniac?)
#17 | Comment by Kingolf — March 10, 2003 @ 11:55 am
I have never been to Germany, but here in the Dominican Republic most oyung people can enter the category of "Hip-hoppers"
"They think they are the ultimate coolies of the world, that their sagging pants and FUBU will help them live life and fufill their dreams. Every little hiphop kiddie has his g-girl, she’s equallly shabbily dressed and usually sporting a bandana and an oversized coat."
Right on the money Eve, but I dont know if its a cultural thing, but here in Dominican Republic ALL girls (With no exception) want Hip-hoppers, not just G-Girls…
"I still don’t understand why they all have a habit of spitting"
You have noticed that too? I have seen them actually spit on elderly and women, but maybe thats just a cultural thing
"the ones with their man-made philosophies that they are their own gods and we need to bow."
Eve, you have expressed in word what I have spent feeling for years.
And, I hate to bring it up, but here in Dominican Republic, we get alot of German tourists, which usually are: Tall, blonde women, who wear tacky/ugly flowing "Island" dresses, and walk around topless on beaches and poolside. And men in Speedos who as you said of Americans, like beer and are not afraid to show it.
#18 | Comment by Guizhang — March 10, 2003 @ 1:41 pm
oyung= young
Oh, and Seriously, I can tell you as a person who has English as a second language, that many people across the world understand English, but dont speak it. Its hard to explain, just dont expect to call a guy in Angola a Asshole, and not expect him to understand.
-Kingolf
You have never spoken English?
#19 | Comment by Guizhang — March 10, 2003 @ 1:45 pm
Hmm… perhaps once or twice in class.
Not much need to.
I’m not bragging when I say that I’m REALLY good at Danish, and that’s what most Danes speak.
#20 | Comment by Kingolf — March 10, 2003 @ 1:52 pm
Eve,
You nailed the "natural lounger" category. We in the U.S. have the same (pseudo)-potheads but I could never exactly make out their distinct features besides the obvious. You’re a sociologist extraordinaire!
BTW- Recently I’ve thought about going and dressing up like a bunch of different stereotypes and see how I’m treated by others (and other stereotypes). My friend once dressed up like a skater for a day for his science project, and I saw a man make himself black for a day on TV. Anybody ever try something like that?
#21 | Comment by Marcus — March 10, 2003 @ 1:52 pm
Thanks for the post Eve! I can’t think right now…
#22 | Comment by Bubba — March 10, 2003 @ 2:05 pm
so eve, where do u fit into these stereotypes? btw, get laid, enjoy life and quit your bitching.
#23 | Comment by uncle pauly — March 10, 2003 @ 2:09 pm
I think Mr. Uncle Pauly’s been tuned out for a while.
#24 | Comment by Seriously — March 10, 2003 @ 2:15 pm
Clearly, cuz Eve’s been banging her dude on a regular basis for quite a while now!
Guizhang? Eres nuestra amigo Quijotes Leprous, AKA tantas otros nombres que nadie puede recorder posting under yet *another* ID?
#25 | Comment by RedEye — March 10, 2003 @ 2:48 pm
Si.
#26 | Comment by Kingolf — March 10, 2003 @ 3:01 pm
Words are lost in a sea of comprehension as dense as beer vomit. No shit your talking about Germany, I was just stating a point, as in, you left out a lot. I know germany, its stereotypes are not a whole lot different than other countries, is basically what the statement meant. Too much generalization at one point or another, and your eyes are blinded by what you want to see, you get ‘x’ number of stereotypes that you see then the rest are all wash, they all blend together, just another set of eyes blinded by what you want to see… doesn’t take away from the fact that your post was refreshingly different than the typical mind dribble that gets spat out on blogs around the world on a daily basis, refreshing is good.
#27 | Comment by Dave Marshak — March 10, 2003 @ 3:13 pm
good shit Eve…but wallpaper?
#28 | Comment by Will — March 10, 2003 @ 3:32 pm
Dave, at no point did I say I was going to list all the stereotypes. This post was supposed to be a litte humorous, not all taken so seriously. No on wants to read a 7,000 word stereotype post. Lighten up dude. It had nothing to do with being blinded or seeing only what I want to see – this post was for entertainment, take it how it is.
And the wallpaper comment is a joke.
Why do I feel the need to explain myself here? It’s fubar, not CNN.
#29 | Comment by eve — March 10, 2003 @ 5:25 pm
You don’t have to explain yourself. Good post.
#30 | Comment by grud — March 10, 2003 @ 5:35 pm
This is CNN!
#31 | Comment by Bubba — March 10, 2003 @ 6:03 pm
Starzie is a sly one aint she?
The little missy seems to have mastered the art of sarcasm.
I guess I should pay homage to the post and state that if Eve were to be categorized, she’d probably join me in my category.
We are the SNOBS.
Long live the snobs because we give cretins something to hate.
#32 | Comment by Discommode — March 10, 2003 @ 7:01 pm
I am representing the Abercrombie and Fitch organization, and we as a whole would like to learn about your interests, your dreams, and your pete-peeves. Please feel free to respond within this forum, or send your rad ideas to http://www.Peoplewithoutshirts.com. You will recieve one tote-bag displaying your heterosexual and personal preferences. Thank you and happy surfing!
-Jon McDermott
-A&F Marketing
-Sluts and Pos(t)er Boy division
#33 | Comment by Abercrombie and Fitch — March 10, 2003 @ 7:35 pm
-RedEye
Si, es el mismo Quijotes_Leprous/Celius_Quin de antes… y ya se que tengo el mala costumbre de constantemente cambiar de apodo para mis propios estupidas manias.
-Kingolf
Where exactly did you learn English?
I personally learned English by constantly traveling to the United States, reading books and watching American Television.
#34 | Comment by Guizhang — March 10, 2003 @ 7:43 pm
I figured it was a joke…very nice post Eve I laughed out loud!
#35 | Comment by Will — March 10, 2003 @ 8:56 pm
Great post Eve! I think the Stereotypes you have outlined are pretty international in nature. I strive to be wallpaper; or in the words of Joe Walsh,"Ordinary Average Guy." If you don’t know the song use KaZaA to download it, it’s a riot. Thanks again, it was nice to read a post that I can laugh about while saying "Hey, I know that guy!"
#36 | Comment by AKA postal — March 10, 2003 @ 9:48 pm
werd.
#37 | Comment by starzie — March 10, 2003 @ 10:26 pm
Books and the Intarweb.
#38 | Comment by Kingolf — March 11, 2003 @ 1:16 am
The telly prolly helped. Computer gamed definetly did.
And I picked up the basic grammar at school, some years ago.
We’re still learning the basic grammar 🙁
#39 | Comment by Kingolf — March 11, 2003 @ 1:22 am
Blue…too bright…
#40 | Comment by Bubba — March 11, 2003 @ 1:50 am
No harm, no foul..hmmm, no blue text.
#41 | Comment by thess — March 11, 2003 @ 4:27 am
Dear lord, you can write in colors too?
#42 | Comment by Seriously — March 11, 2003 @ 6:55 am
Where in my comment did you see me ask you to list em all… I just pointed out the fact that you didn’t list a lot, just a very small fragment of the whole.. I never asked for a 7000 word essay on the stereotypes of germans. Can’t a guy state a fact without a "woman" going nuts.. I still like you Eve, cuz at least you yell back instead of censoring the comments that come in like someone*cough*thess*cough*heh,.. you got ballz girl… I like that.. cept not physically of course…
#43 | Comment by Dave Marshak — March 11, 2003 @ 9:45 am
Yeah. Great.
Ruin it.
#44 | Comment by Kingolf — March 11, 2003 @ 10:59 am
eve, I am so in love with you right now. ever consider coming to the asia-pacific region?
#45 | Comment by Carlocake — March 11, 2003 @ 12:05 pm
I always find it extremely romantic when girls don’t physically have balls.
#46 | Comment by grud — March 11, 2003 @ 12:22 pm
http://www.michaelhart.net
#47 | Comment by j — March 22, 2003 @ 10:11 am
So which type are you?
You have characterized socio-economic groups. good for you
#48 | Comment by boo — April 12, 2005 @ 9:44 pm