Ode to Layout: A poem by Cleo

So long I went without an electronic outlet of my own,
Dabbling on other people’s sites with no home,
And then Will came along (with sweet nocturnal nothings),
To come and take me out of the internet cold.

I remember well this black-and-tan of my early days
FUBAR of my memory is Angelina then Drew came in,
And though those weren’t the greatest I would do ’em,
Justin you took away the porn, at least let us keep Women

So yes I met my host through this site’s dvd, gamer guru,
(Who only tried to beard-paste and buttfuck me one time)
But I guess the honors of introduction go to Indian Name
Loves Dunst But Would Go To Jail For a Piece of Bynes

Soon I had a site and posted as often as I was sane,
What a wonder, I can keep my tits undercover
And the camboys, oh, the few the fun the really young,
Became my own topless e-harem of photolovers.

It doesn’t take too long to figure webmastering out,
IM pastes and smiley face and jealousy abound
Cybercliques and cyberpricks, do anything, but do avoid
Bringing too many older Internet Gossip folks around.

Months later I am well schooled in the old hallowed ways
Of stencilling a name (they’re all the same) on my skin.
And they say man, that means that I’m a true fan,
But it just means I know that a pretty face is the easiest in.

The most shocking thing a girl could learn while surfing
Is the age of the breasts that load 2000 times a day
Now I come back to ol’ FUBAR to see another naked kid,
So when did an Amanda become different from a Nay?

Dns error, constellate is down like a camgirl’s chin,
So let me appeal against the horror of youth and the Ring,
Remember that double-ended dildo scene in Dream?
Yeah, let’s toss up some Jennifer Connelly on that thing.

Who’s with me?

connelly (36k image)

22 thoughts on “Ode to Layout: A poem by Cleo

  1. I can dig it.

    #1 | Comment by bligityblah — April 9, 2003 @ 4:57 pm

  2. the rhyme scheme’s weird, i’d sound better if read outloud, because I’m bad at reading poetry in my head. oh, and 2nd post!!!

    #2 | Comment by The Dark Superman — April 9, 2003 @ 5:05 pm

  3. **It’d sound

    #3 | Comment by The Dark Superman — April 9, 2003 @ 5:05 pm

  4. what?????

    #4 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — April 9, 2003 @ 5:13 pm

  5. I’m with you babe

    #5 | Comment by Devon — April 9, 2003 @ 5:59 pm

  6. No Jennifer Connelly. If slow down the scene with the double-ended dildo you can see they are just slamming their butts together. There was no real double-ended dildo. If you’re going to do a scene like that at least go all the way. I can’t trust that girl.

    #6 | Comment by Onan — April 9, 2003 @ 6:07 pm

  7. Onan, if you’re trying to tell me that you didn’t pop a little preadolescant wood over Connelly in Labyrinth, you’re even less trustworthy than an imaginary dildo.

    #7 | Comment by Cleo — April 9, 2003 @ 6:47 pm

  8. I’m not saying Connelly is unworthy of wood, I just wish I could have seen some method acting in that scene, that’s all.

    #8 | Comment by Onan — April 9, 2003 @ 8:14 pm

  9. Cleo who?

    #9 | Comment by Bubba — April 9, 2003 @ 11:19 pm

  10. She’s not on the "people who can post here" list.

    And her site is down.

    Who are you?

    #10 | Comment by Kingolf — April 10, 2003 @ 1:58 am

  11. she is the jamaican predictor of your demise Klingy…


    #11 | Comment by me — April 10, 2003 @ 2:43 am

  12. When did Connelly do this lesbian scene? And more importantly – where can I find it! 😉

    #12 | Comment by Carl — April 10, 2003 @ 5:26 am

  13. Cleo… I thought I had taken care of you in the rice paddies of the old village by the mountain… it seems as though my nihonto and I shall have to strike you down again. It seems.

    #13 | Comment by thefelinepunk — April 10, 2003 @ 9:07 am

  14. The Ant
    by Ogden Nash

    The ant has made himself illustrious
    Through constant industry industrious.
    So what?
    Would you be calm and placid
    If you were full of formic acid?


    The Cow
    by Ogden Nash

    The cow is of the bovine ilk;
    One end is moo, the other, milk.


    Now my personal favorite, a great poem by Ogden Nash, …

    Reflections on Ice-Breaking
    by Ogden Nash

    Is Dandy
    But liquor
    Is quicker.

    This poem stirs something deep inside of me… it says that you can get women with candy, but if you liquor them up first, your going to get some action quicker.. this is the most common translation of this poem written by a childrens poet. Some of his stuff is pretty f*’d up right there, ya know… if you are strange and want to read more of his shit… go to:

    #14 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 10, 2003 @ 1:07 pm

  15. yay cleo! i was just thinking about you today. looking through some of my old posts where you said hi, and noticed a couple weeks ago that your site was down. 🙁 miss hearing from you, girl.

    #15 | Comment by Miss Shigatsu — April 10, 2003 @ 5:18 pm

  16. Are you REALLY back this time, maybe? *hope*

    #16 | Comment by thess — April 10, 2003 @ 6:12 pm

  17. i love jennifer connelly!

    #17 | Comment by uncle pauly — April 10, 2003 @ 8:04 pm

  18. Connelly did the lesbian scene in Requiem for a Dream. From what I remember the scene involves a double-ended dildo and a bunch of men yelling "butt to butt" over and over again.

    #18 | Comment by Onan — April 10, 2003 @ 11:31 pm

  19. Thess, I’m back like herpes – an outbreak here and there, but usually pretty quiet. I also like being rubbed in cream, incidentally. I was just starting to get back into the swing of posting every other day and taking NEW pictures of my tilted head, when it went down. But I’ll be around and about, logging online between days spent hiding in your shubbery taking photos of your hallowed keyboard. IM me sometime.

    #19 | Comment by Cleo — April 10, 2003 @ 11:34 pm

  20. I love my keyboard.

    #20 | Comment by thess — April 11, 2003 @ 3:40 am

  21. Saw her lesbian scene last night!! Harldy a sexy scene is it – quite the opposite in fact.

    Good film though – a good advert for not taking drugs.

    #21 | Comment by Carl — April 11, 2003 @ 6:05 am

  22. *throws it up for Jennifer Connelly in Dream, and everyone who has seen Dream, and Dream its self, and Darren Aronofsky in general.*

    #22 | Comment by piratespiff — April 12, 2003 @ 9:41 am

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *