How about some half assed mini videogame reviews?

Games that i’ve bought over the past two weeks:

  • Gladius

    I played this game for about 5 minutes. I will never ever touch it ever again.

  • SWAT: Global Strike Team

    I played this game for about half a level. I will never ever touch it ever again.

  • Tony Hawk’s Underground

    I played this game for about 7 minutes. I will never ever touch it ever again.

  • Road Kill

    Hell, i haven’t even properly played this game at all. I just bought it so i could listen to the radio stations in the game (concept ripped off from the GTA3/Vice City). There’s this one talk radio station that has this really gay guy (and by gay i really do mean gay, as in flaming homosexual gay, sort of like Bubba) and this horny chick as the DJs. It’s really stupid and pretty offensive (in a not so PC kind of way). Some of the things they say on air would probably make Howard Stern blush. All in all, ASS game (i think, haven’t actually played it), OKAY radio stations (it’s got Blue Oyster Cult’s Don’t Fear The Reaper on the game’s soundtrack. Automatic bonus points for that).

  • Beyond Good And Evil

    Easily one of the best gaming experiences of my life. It’s been a while since i was this addicted to any game. I played this one all the way through. It’s such a beautiful game. If you like Wind Waker and Metroid Prime, you’ll probably like this. It’s too bad that it’s such a short game though. I beat it in 10 hours (over the course of 3 days). Worth owning but since it’s so beatable in such a short time, you might just want to rent it. Excellent game.

  • True Crime: Streets Of L.A

    Another game that i actually played all the way through. It’s not bad. Gets a little repetitive after a while but all in all, it’s still a pretty fun game. 3 different endings. I played through all of them. I beat it in about 3-4 days. i liked this game. Wouldn’t recommend buying it since it’s so short. I suggest renting it. If only to listen to Christopher Walken’s voice acting in it (Russell Wong and Michelle Rodriguez are also in the game. Oh and SNOOP DOGG too. Fo shizzle mah nizzle!).

  • SSX3

    Played this for maybe an hour or two. Decided that i didn’t really like it much. Not as much as i did with SSX Tricky which i absolutely LOVED. SSX3 is a much deeper game but it’s nowhere as cool or crazy as Tricky. I really miss having “IT’S TRICKY TO ROCK A RHYME TO ROCK A RHYME THAT’S RIGHT ON TIME IT’S TRICKY” everytime i fill up the uber meter. All in all, it’s a much better game than Tricky. But nowhere near as cool. Plus, negative points awarded for the painfully white DJ in the game. What the hell happend to Rahzel? Bring him back! Verdict: not recommended if you’re expecting it to be exactly like Tricky. It has a totally different mood and feel. But recommended if you like good snowboarding games. SSX3 is good, but just not to my taste.

  • Kill.switch

    This game turned out to be pretty alright. Nothing special. Played through about 4 levels. Then i kind of lost interest.

  • Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time

    I actually haven’t played this game yet (i just bought it today together with T3 and i played T3 first. Didn’t get a chance to test out POP because i fell asleep right after playing T3). But let me tell you right now that you should damn well go out, buy and OWN this game. Even before actually playing it, i already know it’s going to be super mega fucking good (just like BG&E, which was made by the same company (Ubisoft) that made POP). I wouldn’t be surprised if this game walks away with a few game of the year awards (it’s already on many ‘best game at E3’ awards lists). I actually have it running on my PS2 right now as i type this. Just letting the intro repeat itself over and over. I’m gonna be playing right after i’m done with this post.

  • Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines

    Wow. This game is pretty ASS. But everything else (the extras, other game demos etc etc) that’s on the disc is fucking A class great. I actually looked through all the extras and shit before i began playing the actual game. There’s a pretty neat little featurette on the making of the game featuring the cast and crew of T3 being interviewed about the videogame and what they think of videogames in general. It’s extremely weird listening to Governor Schwarzeneggar talk about videogames. And big ups for including Kristanna Loken in there too. OMG that girl is so fucking hot. I just LOVE the way she looks in T3 (although i’m not too hot about her appearance in real life but hey, i wouldn’t kick her out of bed either). Plus, She’s got a really fucking sexy ass voice. Anyhow, yeah, it’s got that pretty good featurette on there, a bunch of deleted scenes from T3 the movie thrown in there (the sergeant candy scene is fucking hilarious. you can also find it on the T3 DVD btw) and lots of nice stills in the stills gallery. And hey, you can even unlock classic Atari games and stuff (the game is published by Atari). And best of all, there’s a demo of T3: Retribution on the disc. And it looks fucking awesome. Incredible game engine. I actually played the demo before even playing the main game. Which was probably a really big mistake after finding out how ASS the main game was. Seriously, it sucks. But i’ll give it points for the EXTREMELY COOL CGI cut scenes. Holy crap. It’s like Michael Bay meets the Wachowski Bros. meets the Terminator series. Awesome awesome cut scenes. ASS game. Not worth buying. But defintely worth renting for the extras, the T3: Retribution demo and Kristanna Loken. Hot.

  • Pop Idol

    My mom bought me this game. Shut up.

    (It’s the British version of American Idol if you didn’t know. And surprisingly, it’s not really all that bad. Hell, i even played it all the way through the end. Keli would probably like this game)

    sm4shy: now that i have an xbox…i dont want to play comp games…
    psykotik2k: why did you buy an xbox
    sm4shy: actually…i got one as a christmas gift last year. Mainly because star wars games were coming heavy for it…and im a star wars junkie
    psykotik2k: kotor!
    psykotik2k: do you have it
    sm4shy: of course…already won it
    psykotik2k: gay
    psykotik2k: did you make the chick fall in love with you
    psykotik2k: i think you can
    psykotik2k: i read it somewhere
    psykotik2k: in EGM
    psykotik2k: that ass magazine
    psykotik2k: i like kristanna loken
    sm4shy: i used to get … hmmm what was the name of that game mag.
    psykotik2k: i bet it’s a gay one
    sm4shy: it was like extreme gamer
    psykotik2k: yep. it’s gay
    sm4shy: it was kinda like your website … games and babes
    psykotik2k: yep. that’s pretty gay too
    sm4shy: haha
    sm4shy: they went out of business. 🙁
    psykotik2k: gay

  • 21 thoughts on “Games

    1. How often do you use the word gay in your conversation… I guess its some kinda latent trait or something with you…

      #1 | Comment by WP — November 17, 2003 @ 9:26 pm

    2. actually i only ever really use the word gay when i talk to bubba (because he is gay). but i guess the person that got me to start saying gay was Cici. she says gay a lot. it rubbed off.

      typical retarded chat with bubba:

      17/11/03 9:19 PM
      TehBubba: hi
      psykotik2k: hallo
      TehBubba: hi
      psykotik2k: i called you gay
      TehBubba: did you now
      psykotik2k: yeah =(
      TehBubba: ha, you did
      psykotik2k: hehehehehe
      psykotik2k: i blow
      psykotik2k: you have an xbox?
      psykotik2k: i want one =\
      psykotik2k: i buy next year!
      TehBubba: i do
      psykotik2k: weeee
      psykotik2k: max payne 2!
      psykotik2k: halo 2!
      TehBubba: halo 2
      TehBubba: only good game
      TehBubba: halo
      TehBubba: only good game
      psykotik2k: i will only buy good games for xbox
      psykotik2k: no ass games
      psykotik2k: oh and i’ll get live too
      psykotik2k: online gaming!
      TehBubba: mario kart!!!!! tomorrow
      psykotik2k: it blows
      psykotik2k: i read on IGN
      TehBubba: you blow
      psykotik2k: 7.9
      psykotik2k: or something
      TehBubba: IGN is gay
      psykotik2k: you are gay
      TehBubba: you are
      psykotik2k: my site is gay
      TehBubba: it is
      psykotik2k: we are gay
      TehBubba: 🙁
      psykotik2k: ok i play POP now!
      TehBubba: POP?
      TehBubba: gay
      TehBubba: pops is gay
      psykotik2k: pop!
      TehBubba: i fill up the uber meter
      TehBubba: gay
      psykotik2k: gay
      TehBubba: oh
      TehBubba: POP
      TehBubba: fag
      psykotik2k: POP!
      TehBubba: gay
      TehBubba: pretty cool game though
      TehBubba: played the demo
      psykotik2k: you are gay
      TehBubba: you are

      we say gay a lot.

      #2 | Comment by Justin — November 17, 2003 @ 9:36 pm

    3. oh man, i just laughed my ass off reading that "gay" post, you guys are hilarious.

      #3 | Comment by chicken ala kinky — November 17, 2003 @ 10:03 pm

    4. Do you do anything productive? Ever?

      That conversation you just posted was hilarious.

      #4 | Comment by ASL — November 18, 2003 @ 1:41 am

    5. What the hell does ASS mean?

      #5 | Comment by Alejandro — November 18, 2003 @ 1:53 am

    6. I assume that these games are all bootleg, correct? Lucky fucking bastard, here in the Dominican Republic I can only get Bootleg Playstation 1 and Dreamcast games… Damn Asian bootleggers with their speed in bootleging new products with quality…

      For my part I am anxiously awaiting Halo 2, Fable and Half-Life 2 and im almost certain ill pick up Counter-Strike (Yeah, yeah I know)and Ninja Gaiden when they are released on X-Box.

      #6 | Comment by Guizhang — November 18, 2003 @ 2:06 am

    7. Oh and another thing, has anyone played Final Fantasy XI yet? I’d go and get it right now if I had the hard drive and modem on my PS2 and had the money to spare to pay the monthly fee…

      #7 | Comment by Guizhang — November 18, 2003 @ 2:09 am

    8. Alejandro –

      ASS (in caps for added emphasis)? i dunno, i just associate that word with something that sucks. kind of like ‘sucks ass’. except shorter.

      as in like "whoa, that game sucks/whoa, that game is ass".

      Guizhang –

      yeah, all those games are bootlegs at about US$2 a pop.

      so that’s about US$650+ worth of videogames that i bought for only US$22+.

      support piracy!

      btw, isn’t FFXI already out on PC? you could always get the PC version. no need for the PS2HD then.

      #8 | Comment by Justin — November 18, 2003 @ 2:35 am

    9. oh and speaking of the cool cutscenes from T3, here’s a link to a little snippet of the intro movie. 5.9 megs.

      btw, to view the making of documentary i was talking about online, click here. (ftp link. big file. about 89 megs)

      it’s a good doc.

      #9 | Comment by Justin — November 18, 2003 @ 3:06 am

    10. OH. and speaking of NINJA GAIDEN…

      07/11/03 1:34 PM
      psykotik2k: i played two seasons ofsmackdown with stonecold!
      psykotik2k: once on raw and once on smackdonw!
      TehBubba: you play on easy?
      psykotik2k: ya
      psykotik2k: its hard!!!!!
      TehBubba: gay
      psykotik2k: i still lose even on ewasy sometimes
      TehBubba: play on hard
      psykotik2k: so hard
      psykotik2k: smackdown is the hardest difficultey
      TehBubba: you get viewtiful joe yet?
      psykotik2k: nope =(
      TehBubba: get!
      psykotik2k: stupid online store hasnt confirmed my order yet
      psykotik2k: oh well
      psykotik2k: i’ll just get it next year
      psykotik2k: in january
      psykotik2k: in MI
      TehBubba: grr
      psykotik2k: when it costs like 20 bucks or something
      TehBubba: f-zero?
      psykotik2k: have it
      psykotik2k: weee
      psykotik2k: hard!!!!!@
      TehBubba: good?
      psykotik2k: hard!!!!
      psykotik2k: but good
      psykotik2k: like my penis
      TehBubba: oooh, mario kart: double dash!! on the 18th…
      TehBubba: get that when it comes out
      TehBubba: 19th
      psykotik2k: the japanese one is already out hehehehehehe
      TehBubba: ninja gaiden on the 19th
      psykotik2k: NINJA GAYYYYYDEN
      TehBubba: you a gay
      psykotik2k: you a gayden
      TehBubba: that game is going to rule
      TehBubba: pince of persia on 19th as well
      psykotik2k: no it’s not
      psykotik2k: you idiiot
      TehBubba: yrah
      psykotik2k: on the 7th i think
      psykotik2k: i dunno
      psykotik2k: go check ign
      psykotik2k: relaeases dates
      TehBubba: 19th
      TehBubba: ninja gaiden looks awesome…must have. final fantasy X2…must have. mario kart..will have as soon as it comes out. your ass..must have…
      psykotik2k: X@ IS GAY
      psykotik2k: gayden is gay
      psykotik2k: mario ok is not gay
      TehBubba: hahahhahhahaa, you are gay
      psykotik2k: me!
      TehBubba: yeah

      little did i know that mario would turn out to be gay. double dash blows!

      #10 | Comment by Justin — November 18, 2003 @ 3:22 am

    11. couldnt agree more on the tony hawk review. its ass compared to tony hawk pro skater 4. oh well, i guess its just one of those games thats buys fame off its previous games. and to justin, stonecold in smackdown pretty much sucks. i used him and got beaten up non stop. goldberg is the best to use. haha. but triple H aint too bad either. both of them can take some beating, not stone cold. hehe. once again, hooray for piracy!

      #11 | Comment by william — November 18, 2003 @ 6:18 am

    12. haha. yeah, triple H was fucking hard to beat with stone cold. and so was goldberg. and dont get me started on brock lesnar. those guys are like fucking brick walls. i once tried starting a season using shawn michaels and my first match was against kane. couldnt even pick the fucker up. kane ripped him apart. also got into a feud with kane playing as stone cold. he was my tag team partner for a while. then i started talking shit about him and he got upset and destroyed my car. kept feuding with him all season long. fucking guy wouldnt get off my back.

      i like using stone cold because he can give the finger. hehehe. i also got into a storyline where vince made stone cold fight in a match with sable. lol. that made me laugh.

      woman beater! what?

      #12 | Comment by Justin — November 18, 2003 @ 6:45 am

    13. I probably shouldn’t get T3 then. I’m still stuck on getting further in Sparks Training Construct in Enter the Matrix. Can’t seem to go further than that place where you throw the guys off the platform. Anybody got a clue? Oh, Justin, need to find confirmation that Kristana Loken is bi. Sister told me supposedly she was seen in a bar making out with Pink. I’m looking for pics. If I find any I’ll e-mail you. All hail Kristana’s fine ass!

      #13 | Comment by Alejandro — November 18, 2003 @ 7:24 am

    14. way ahead of you. saw the pic a coupla weeks ago

      kristanna kissing pink!

      #14 | Comment by Justin — November 18, 2003 @ 7:43 am

    15. Sweeeeet!!!! (clears throat and restors composure) You have proven yourself worthy!

      #15 | Comment by Alejandro — November 18, 2003 @ 8:24 am

    16. oh well, for smack down, just be sure to use the brick walls then. although its still possible to lose after putting your opponent through 2 spears and yet you lose to a single pedigree. fucking ghey that, but overall, its a fun game. esp with bra and panty matches. =) hahaha.

      #16 | Comment by william — November 18, 2003 @ 5:14 pm

    17. Thanks 4 the reviews, but when the hell are you going to play FUCKIN SOCOM II? It’s so "ASS" or whatever…. um, play it – you know my sign-on name. Peace OUT

      #17 | Comment by Kevin — November 19, 2003 @ 12:41 pm

    18. i almost forgot about one good game that was recently out. LOTR: the return of the king. its pretty good. much like two towers, but better in some aspects. and you can play co-op missions too. thats pretty good. and it doesnt really have any spoilers for the show. not much anyway. ahhaha.

      #18 | Comment by william — November 20, 2003 @ 6:19 am

    19. Paris Hilton is not good looking but I jacked off watching the porn. Does that make me a hypocrite?

      #19 | Comment by Nutts McGhee — April 9, 2007 @ 6:12 pm

    20. No. Just gay!

      #20 | Comment by Alan — April 9, 2007 @ 6:13 pm

    21. yeppers!

      #21 | Comment by Alan — April 9, 2007 @ 6:14 pm

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