The Clothes Make the Man

FUBARshirt (7k image)

A few of the visit my website: Bubba, Pangwinking, cf, JustSumDude, Discommode, and even Justin to name a few.

Recently, I started a shop in order to make some extra money. (I’m really poor and I need to pay some debts and fix my piece of shit car.) Ever since I started the shop, I’ve had people asking me if I’d do F.U.B.A.R. shirts for Justin. Naturally, I can’t really do that in good conscience because I’d be making money off of Justin’s site. He should be selling his shirts himself.

I myself have thought about the fact that Justin is hard-up for cash, and so he’s started asking us for donations in order to keep F.U.B.A.R. running. Hardly anyone so far has been willing to donate. If Justin started a store, he could get enough money.

I’ve approached him with the idea, but he still hasn’t said anything.

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The Horrifying Truth

Alright, Gentlemen. Now that I have your attention:

I have finally found ammunition with which to back up the thing I’ve been telling you cats over and over again: sure, these women that you’re always oggling at are gorgeous young waifs with large, supple breasts and – for the sake of my own ego I’m going to assume – very tiny brains and no personality. And especially no talent. Yeah.

Anywho, I’ve been saying over and over again: YES, Avril is pretty, but she has an image consultant. We all could look like that with image consultants, personal trainers, nutritionists, ect. on our side. And really, have you ever met a woman that looked that gorgeous up close? In person? No? I’ll tell you why. Because they don’t exist. Without someone to feed them, dress them, tell them what to do, and doctor their photos, they look just like… well… someone you know.

It sucks that I can’t find a date or get laid because you all want women that look like the one above. It blows monkeys. With spoons.

The proof is in the pudding, Gentlemen of FUBAR. See what your gorgeous women look like up close.

Beating on a Dead Horse

It’s been a very long time since I last posted. I’ll admit my first two posts were not tremendously successful. My first post was some sort of rediculous limerick, if I remember correctly. The second one was a broadly generalized categorization of males (which may or may not make me look like a hypocrite later… frankly I don’t care). Looking back on both of those, they were pretty big mistakes that not only made me look like a complete jackass, but the latter entry was probably insulting to most of the guys surfing this site [that care]. Hopefully this third entry doesn’t bring me off as too idiotic. If it’s any comfort, in the future I promise to post something lighthearted and tame like some funny joke I heard somewhere or a random review of something, and leave the serious, scary posts to the more experienced among us.

I haven’t come back to F.U.B.A.R. in a long time, and I really have no idea what the hell is going on around here. I probably shouldn’t even be butting into “other people’s business,” but I have to say that I stumbled across Amy’s most recent post and read through it. Yes, boys, the entire thing. I didn’t read Eve’s rant first, though, and at the time of writing this I still haven’t. I suppose that would be important if I started an arguement, but hey, I don’t really plan to.

The thing I paid the most attention to was the comments following Amy’s entry. God, it’s been a long time. I had forgotten about a lot of the soap opera-like rivalries and alliances around here. I’m sure Justin’s digging it. Whenever there is controversy, he sits back and watches the action. But I digress.

I guess the reason that I decided to post (beside, you know, the fact that I haven’t done it in a while) is to comment on Amy’s post and the comments to that post. I don’t know. I guess I was inspired.

Let’s not even pretend that I’m the smartest person here. I wouldn’t even presume to be as good at backing up any arguements I may have as someone like Amy, or Eve, or especially Discommode, whatever his real name is. This may be a good reason for you to stop reading right now. How could you take someone seriously when they themselves say that they’re probably not smart enough to listen to?

My view on the whole “sex” arguement is simple: who fucking cares? Who really gives a damn? The smart people, the REALLY smart people that view this page, that read the entries… they’re the ones that say things like, “I’ll read it later, I swear.” Or, “Amy, I wanna hump you.” If you want to know why I think these people are smarter, it’s because they really don’t give a shit. Their lives are less complicated and happier because they have much better things to be pissed off and worked up about. I myself get more pissed off at things that directly affect me, not something as lofty as how people do or don’t like their sex. I know how I like it. That’s enough for me. I don’t even care to share with anyone, and I would certainly not try to tell people how they should like it. And certainly not why they should like it their own way or anyone else’s.

For the feminists in the audience that are gasping because a woman apparently doesn’t care about all the blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into the freedoms and equality with men we share today: I’d just like to say that I’m not a feminist, but I’m not a feminist basher. The term “feminist” nowadays, more often than not, brings to mind a bunch of women with lots of body hair, burning their unmentionables, screaming about the evils of men, touting the virtues of the dildo, and spelling women, “womyn.” You’d avoid that, too. I appreciate all of the amenities I now enjoy because of feminists. I personally hate wearing skirts, I like being able to vote, and I’m glad that men don’t automatically expect me to know how to cook, clean, sew, and rear children. And before you ladies have a heart attack and die, I KNOW there’s more to it than that.

You know what I think? I think men should start their own movement. Call it Masculinism or something. Men have rights, too. I see so many cases where men get screwed, it’s disgusting. Fathers in this country have practically no rights regarding their children. How often, really, do you hear of cases of divorce where the father is awarded custody for any other reason than having a lot more money than the mother (except in cases where the mother is a heroin addict or some crap)? And don’t even get me started on the Armed Forces. I say, if you’re a woman and you want to be in the military, don’t expect to do any less than the men do. Don’t pout and fuss because you want to play with the boys, and then expect to play with different rules.

I forget which of you said it, but yes, arguing over the internet is pretty stupid. No doubt about it. I probably wouldn’t even be typing this right now if it weren’t for the fact that 1) I’m very bored, 2) I can’t sleep, and 3) I’m feeling pretty stupid right now. I guess some people argue just for the sake of debate. We have to match wits against eachother. Prove who’s smarter than who. Who agrees with what. I admit that some of the points made were very valid, but come on: is it worth attacking a person’s character? I admit some of you are genuinely, without a doubt, very intelligent: but really, you could focus your intelligence into something incredibly positive. People that concentrate so much on the fact that they’re “smarter than everyone else” either have a chip on their shoulder or are very, very lonely and/or depressed. And that’s just my humble opinion.

I forget which other person said it (was it Discommode?), but arguing from the feminist standpoint about sex and gender roles is also stupid. I’m not even going to say, “I guess it’s an important issue,” because really, it’s not. If it’s being discussed in terms of “fucking” then it’s about recreation, and as far as “fun” goes you’d have a much less moot debate about bowling leagues or chess tournaments. As far as regarding sex as either “filthy,” “scary,” or “beautiful”, that’s one person’s personal choice based on the way they were raised, religion, personal values, ect., and no amount of bitching is going to change that person’s mind.

It’s been done to death, really, and it’s just one of those things that you can go round and round about it forever and never get anywhere.

If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Who fucking cares?

Two Points.

Alright, alright. I realize my last post was awful. I have no idea what possessed me to even post, especially for the first time on FUBAR, a stupid, stupid limerick. I think we all agree it was inane (yes, “inane.” My grammar is for the most part okay).

So, to make it up, I decided to to a post on something pressing in my life for, oh… *looks at watch* about the last four hours. The subject: rebound guys. Now, by posting this on Justin’s site, I’m in no way insinuating that Justin is “on the rebound,” even though some might suggest that it implies Justin. In fact, I currently have a serious interest in a guy that happens to suddenly be on the proverbial rebound, and so it gave me an inspiration for a more interesting and palatable post. I certainly hope that all of you (especially the FUBARettes) at least enjoy it. Now, to business.

As far as I can figure, there are four types of “Rebound Guy”: the fourth appears to not be on the rebound at all, and can also be split into a subgroup of not appearing to be on the rebound, but instantly gets with a girl after a breakup (often for simple companionship, just as often to release some sort of pent-up sexual angst). Therefore, Type Four won’t be discussed in this particular survey, since they’re pretty easy to figure out.

Type One: “Holy Crap, I’m Single Again”
Type One is probably the most similar to Type Four in that they appear – and remember, I said appear – to be completely fine. In front of his friends, he tries his hardest to remain the same guy he always was, but inside his emotions and anguish rend him limb from limb. Type One, unlike Type Four, will feign satisfaction with being single, when in fact he is secretly terrified of it. Type One usually occurs after long relationships, whereas Type Four usually happens after short relationships, or ones that end particularly badly, but in his favor.

Pros: Doesn’t worry his friends, family, or co-workers too much.
Cons: Bottles his emotions, is very needy, needs to find himself, depends too much on relationships to get him through hard times in life. Often emotionally overbearing on women he finds attractive, especially if left untreated after long periods of time.

Type Two: “I Just Need to Talk to Someone Right Now”
Type Two, in my opinion, is a great middle ground as far as Rebound Guys go. Granted, the guy’s pretty fucked up right now and pretty emotional. However, he keeps a level head about the issue, even if his emotions are everywhere, and is able to talk sensibly. This particular type is very stable, even if he seems unstable right now, and is the most likely to heal quickly. He is in harmony with his feelings, and though he knows he might be a little over-emotional with his problems, he doesn’t try to bother everyone with it. He just needs to cry his guts out to SOMEBODY, and he’ll probably choose someone he trusts a lot (if drunk, anyone who’ll listen will do).
[Type 2 b: Like Type Two, he’s got a level head: but don’t expect him to talk about his emotions until long after he’s calmed down. Then, he’ll talk as freely as you please about the issue, but don’t expect him to cry about it in front of you. And you better not tell anyone about what he’s said to you, or you can expect to be having the next conversation with Mr. Baseball Bat.]

Pros: Realizes that breakups happen to everyone, doesn’t blubber, doesn’t skirt the issue, is able to remain in the real world while dealing with his problems; also, if he talks to you it proves he trusts you a lot.
Cons: For a short period, he’s kind of needy. Be there for him and offer him any kind of aid he needs, and he should be okay in no time.

Type Three: “I DEFY YOU STARS!!!” (aka Romeo Syndrome)
Ah, yes. Type Three. He certainly has a flair for drama. He is a great and studious love, but he takes himself and his relationships more seriously than anything. He can be smothering in relationships, since he is so afraid of losing them that he is often to attentive to them. This guy is virtually helpless unless he’s with a significant other, and if he or she leaves it is literally the end of the world. This guy pretty much never takes the time to lick his wounds clean, opting to forget his frustrations by seeking out new partnerships. If he can’t find a partner, he sinks into a deep and often long depression, and pretty much forgets how to act like a human being.

Pros: Very caring and attentive.
Cons: Name it. The guy’s an emotional basket case. He needs the help that only true and honest friends can provide. Friends that won’t encourage him to find a new lover before he learns to love himself.

Okay, cats and kittens. That’s it. I’m tired. I’d like to leave you all with a few simple words:

AVRIL SUCKS, and this layout with Deveigh Chase is awesome. Yay Justin!