This *almost* makes me NOT want to play Grand Theft Auto IV.
Curse you Jessica Chobot for tarnishing a once fine and glorious image!!!!!
(In case you didn’t already know, i really hate Jessica Chobot!!!)
PS: Play my Chobot Invasion game!
UPDATE:
GAAAH fucking Jessica Chobot! Ruining my PS3 Special Edition boxart with your ‘likeness’!!!!!
I realize this is a little late, but I figured maybe one or two other people might be interested in what kind of costume Jessica Chobot wore for Halloween this year…
…or maybe not. *shrug*
Chobot as a flapper.
Chobot on the crapper.
Yep, in her own blog Jess admits to reading manga on the toilet.
Fap? >_>
Chobot + Optimus helmet = Cho-Bot
NOOOOOOOOO! MANGOOOOOOOOOOO!
lolz
Thx to Dexy for bringing this to my attention. ^_^
pink wig = Justin wub
Jessica Chobot = Justin haet
Chobot + teh pink = ???
I think Justin’s head may have just exploded.
ps. thx to Dexy for showing me Chobot’s pink.
Jessica Chobot you fucking noob. What the fuck are you doing playing a Nintendo Wii. Go back to playing your fucking PSP you fucking Sony whore!
BY THE WAY, I LAUGH AT YOUR WII INDUCED INJURY!!!!!!!
What a fucking idiot.
This past Thurs I was playing Wii baseball with a friend of mine. I was losing badly and getting VERY angry. Even though I know that I don’t actually need to literally pitch in order to get the ball across the plate, I was so frustrated I did just that. With all my might. And promptly slammed my hand (and Wii controller) into my oak coffee table.
The Wii broke apart, cutting the inside of my finger (that’s right-the Wii drew first blood!) and leaving me to gasp in pain (the kind of pain that hurts so bad, you don’t even make a noise at first). I seriously thought I had broken my finger. I mean I REALLY slammed my hand. I figured it was broke (especially as it started to swell up and throb in time to my heartbeat. It was too late to go to the doctors, so I just bandaged it up as best I could, popped a few Aleve and figured I’d see if it was worth going to the DRs in the morning.
It was. Although the swelling had gone down, it still hurt pretty bad. I could kind of bend it and knew it wasn’t broken, but I figured I might as well use up those IGN bennies before the year was out and toted myself off for a few x-rays.
Turns out it wasn’t broken, just a little sprained and badly bruised.
FUCK. I was hoping it broke.
Reactions to her stupidity:
PS: Lay off the makeup the fugly old wrinkly leathery whore.
In case you missed it the first time, you can play the CHOBOT INVASION game here. CHOBOT MUST BE DESTROYED.
Ya, and we’ll be seeing her next on G4, IGN and as a new addition to my “I Hate You” category.
Like, literally. This is Chobot’s mailbag. Where i will be responding to Jessica Chobot responding to her reader e-mail. Which will probably only happen once. Unless she keeps responding to e-mails that mention my name or the Chobot Invasion game in them in any of her subsequent WTF articles.
Speaking of which, article and website names that use the F word in them are fucking stupid.
Hey Jessica, First off why would anyone want to hate you. You are the sexiest thing to ever happen to Insider. The guy that made the game is a dick. Plus the game sucks. I attend Full Sail in Florida and I just took a class all about flash. I can make something 100 times better than that and I can make is all about how great you are. I’ll get to work on it and share it with you when it is done.
Johnny.
Hey Johnny. I haven’t a clue why someone who has no idea who I am would hate me that much, other than it’s apparently real cool to hate things…like women (whatever). Dude-if you make a cool Flash game, I’ll totally post it. It doesn’t have to be all about how great I am though (well, maybe a little greatness wouldn’t hurt ;)
I kid… I kid…
“it’s apparently real cool to hate things”. Ya, like you hating on Nintendo you fucking bitch! AND DON’T YOU DARE PLAY NINTENDOGS. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO.
And ‘Johnny’. Shut up. You fucking brownosing little twat. What? You think you’ll get a blowjob if you make Jessica Chobot a flash game? Eat shit.
Technically, his e-mail was probably directed to Trip (the who actually made the game, READ THE END CREDITS), but i have no doubt in my mind that little Johnny thinks that i made it. I mean, everybody does don’t they? This fag thinks so:
That Justin kid must’ve been really friggin BORED. Because if he had time to actually make a game (insulting or maybe praising in a way) the beautiful Jessica Chobot, then he might need therapy or a good butt-whoopin!…….or just get laid…..wow. Shout out to Jessica and everybody helping at IGN, making my humble little brain an inch bigger one article at a time :)
(please write back if possible!!!!) jessica’s #1 fan
Mad Skater
Mad Skater,
Who knows what’s up with the enigma that is Justin. My guess is he wants his site to have hits, get semi-famous and has a secret crush on me. You just know he sneaks out of bed at 1am while everyone is asleep, and logs onto IGN Insider so he can read WTF and do God knows what else…
IGN Insider and myself shout right back out to ya’ Skater! Thanks for being such a fan!
Holy fucking shit. I just had flashbacks of reading the reader mailbag from GamePro magazine. Because this is exactly what a letter to GamePro would sound like. And buddy, i think little Johnny might be offended by your Flash game making statements! The only thing i concur about in your e-mail is the fact that you have a little brain. Although it’s actually getting an inch smaller each time you read another WTF.
And Jessica, i actually already have all the hits i could want and am actually already semi-famous to varying degrees. I do not however have a secret crush on you nor do i have an Insider account. And i’m usually masturbating at 1am*.
*this may or may not be true.
Oh and “(please write back if possible!!!!) jessica’s #1 fan”?
Holy shit.
From “Mad Skater”?
Definitely a 13 year old GamePro magazine reader.
Funniest string of comments from Chobot’s (aka Hatsumi) RAB blog:
Well, it made me laugh.
For your reading pleasure: some Chobot related e-mails that i’ve gotten since all the IGN/RAB/kotaku.com hubbub.
Oh and thanks to VGMWatch/The Video Game Ombudsman for initially getting the word out.
Subject: Cruel Fate has brought us together
It’s funny that the demon bitch Chobot led me to your site herself, because you’ve inspired me enough to move to Plan B. Mere hate mail just isn’t enough anymore. I’m going to pretend I’m a fan of hers, send her a few emails with those obnoxious little anime smiles (*^_^*) and what not, tell her about the fan film I’m working on for her that’s going to be “hilarious and cute”. Then I’m gonna buy a webcam and film myself jerking off with a noose around my neck, or something as fucked up as possible, maybe fucking and stabbing a blow-up doll with her face taped onto it. Whatever it is, it’s going to be the most disturbing piece of shit I can come up with, because if anybody in this God forsaken world deserves it it’s her. I want to go outside and scream it from the top of my lungs,
I HATE YOU JESSICA CHOBOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU! FUCK!!!!!!
The hate is strong with this one *^_^*
Too bad Thank God you need an Insider account to read it. But if you have one (you poor unfortunate bastard), here’s a direct link to her latest ‘article‘.
IT’S GO TIME* CHOBOT!!!
*Butt Sex
Oh ye of little faith! How can i, the biggest proponent, nigh, leader of the Jessica Chobot Hate Brigade, jump off the bandwagon that i have so deftly steered, so as to infiltrate the very lair of the enemy, to have coaxed her to come out of hiding, to have made her acknowledge the truth! To face the truth! The truth in the message that the Chobot Invasion will one day be quashed!!!? This is but only a small step in the grand scheme of things to eradicate the world of the Chobot plague. Even if it has to involve some go time*
*Butt Sex
Besides, have you seen the way those fucking pussywhipped fanboys of hers grovel at her feet in her comments? Disgusting. Blinded are they by her looks and vagina, blinded are they by her extreme fake hardcoreness, that they can no longer see the forest for the trees. Or something.
But to defeat the enemy, one must know the enemy. Here are some vital statistics:
Name: JESSICA CHOBOT codename HATSUMI
Height: 5′7″
Weight: 115lbs
Measurements: B 34B W 27 H 37
Shoe Size: 8.5
Dress Size: 4
Visual Identifiers:
If you see this woman in the streets, please do not hesitate to kick her in the vagina.
PS: IGN Insider SUCKS and their game guides are written by 12-year-olds.
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