Jennifer Anistonapoulos! Topoulos!

Tee hee. I crack myself up sometimes.

You see, Jennifer Aniston’s real name is Jennifer Anistonapoulos. And i have picture of her topless.

Jennifer Anistonapoulos! Topoulos! Get it??

Oh nevermind.

Subject: Jennifer Aniston Topless Pics
From: Jason Major
Date: Tue, Aug 20 2002 6:24:45 AM -0400


Drew and Mike on 101.1 WRIF here in Detroit keep talking about an email they got with a Jennifer Aniston Topless pic in it. This is the one that she is supposedly suing over. Now, I have seen one that you can’t tell it is her and its of her kind of turning away out of a chair, but they are talking about a completely different pic that it is unmistakebly her.

Unfortunately, they can’t distribute it. I’ve kind of looked around on the net but I can’t find it. Do you have it? If so can you link it on your web site? If not, can you use your more than considerable talent in finding internet oddities and rareities to find it? Then link it or post it on your site?

Much appreciated (in advanced)

This may or may not be one of the pictures that they were talking about. I don’t really know if it’s actually her but i was told that it was and it’s the only ‘Jennifer Aniston Topless’ pic that i have. So is it ‘unmistakebly’ her? You be the judge.

Fan mail!

I love it when i get fan mail… that wasn’t intended for me.

Subject: yo Avril
From: “chelly”
Date: Mon, Aug 19 2002 2:33:53 PM -0600

Avril am I actually sending u an e-mail. Iknow u probaly hear this alot but i’m your #1 fan i tell u .I know everything about u .Didn’t u see me there when u were at the MMVAs .I saw u I put my hand out with a paper but u didn’t even see me when I was screaming your name out.I went there only to see u.Cause I don’t really like the other singers besides Sum41 .Still I don’t like thrm better than you .I am a memeber of all your fan sites .Anyway I saw that contest that you have ,I entered it I hope I win.

P.S your the best singer I know.G2G(gotta go )sk8er gurl.

What would you do…

So anyway, look! I put the Avril layout back up! But it’s not just the old Avril layout, this is a new Avril layout! Version 2.0 so to speak! Isn’t Avril just teh sex? I just can’t get enough of that foxy Canuck. I want to hump her.

Gosh. I’m moving out of my room next week. Into a new hall. Which means i’m gonna have to carry 4 boxes of videogames and DVDs, two bags of clothes, a 20 inch box fan, a fucking heavy 14 inch flat screen TV, a shoebox full of magazines and all sorts of other crap all over to the new dorm which is like… a million miles away. Blaaargh. Okay so it’s just across the street but still… my arms are soooo gonna be dead by the time i’m done moving everything all the way over there. I’m probably gonna have to make like 10 trips back and forth, to and fro, from this hall to that hall… BLAARGH.

Oh and i’ll probably be getting a new roommate too. Woo. Yay. No more jerking off in private (i kid). The new place shouldn’t be too bad though. Only Juniors and people over 21 can live there. So i won’t be having to put up with any freshmen kids or anything. Plus it’s co-ed! Weee!

I hope i don’t get stuck with some fucking Asian international student who can’t speak English for shit as my roommate though. Stupid Asians.


Anyway, fucking Wonder Years man. I was looking back at some of my older posts from late August 2001 where i went on this one whole week of Wonder Years posts and Fred Savage porn and i’m thinking i need to do another one.

I really have a love/hate relationship with every episode that had Madeline chasing Kevin but with him being too whipped by Winnie to go for it. Madeline was a fox who would have done anything in the world to get into Kevin’s pants and Winnie ‘the tease’ Cooper treated him like shit.

I hated Wiener. I mean Winnie. Wiener was a tease. One minute she loves Kevin the next she doesn’t know how she feels so she dates ever other guy then goes back to Kevin. Make up your mind stupid! Winnie was such a snob and treated Kevin like crap so I dont see why he went after her in the first place!!!

She treated him like crap but yet he was like obsessed with her!!! From like when he was two to seventeen or something! Like get over her already!!!!!

Oh and fucking Kevin should’ve nailed that other girl Margaret too. Gosh, he should’ve nailed all the girls he was with. I mean, come on now. Margaret! We all know, the smart girls are always the kinkiest. Plus, any chick with three pigtails would probably take it in the pooper. “Do you like apples, Winnie? I turned her butt into a finger puppet. How ya like them apples?”

God, what was Kevin thinking?!?! Madeline so wanted him and like an ass, he dumped her for Winnie! Come on, Kevin should’ve boned Madeline until she passed out… man, was she awesome. And then he never did get with Winnie anyway. Fucking Winnie. Stupid Kevin.

This was what i had to say about one particular Madeline Adams episode last year:

You know, i swear to god, there was this one episode where i almost cried. Because that idiot Kevin blew off this FUCKING HOT chick that really liked him just because he still had feelings for Winnie. WTF? GEEZ. SHE WAS SOOOO HOT. And he blew her off for BORING WINNIE. Blah. I think that was the episode where they were all on this school trip to some museum and Winnie catches Kevin making out with that FUCKING HOT chick outside. And then he just leaves the FUCKING HOT chick to chase after Winnie! And in the end, he didn’t get back with Winnie! And he didn’t get the FUCKING HOT chick either! I almost cried!

Of course, this was all like… 10 years ago or something. I’m a big boy now. I don’t cry watching TV shows anymore.


And then later that day, i posted again:

The Wonder Years – 4:00am August 28 2001

These are the responses to that ‘Ugh’ post down there. The long one.

Typical Lewser: I was talking about this with my compadre chorizo
Typical Lewser: how kevin was a jackass, and in one episode this hot chick had a crush on him, but he didn’t hit that shit cause he still had the hots for winnie.
psykotik2k: i know!@!
psykotik2k: that’s the one i’m talking about!!
Typical Lewser: haha
Typical Lewser: yeah
Typical Lewser: I wanted to kill kevin in that episode.
Typical Lewser: =\
psykotik2k: yeah, what an ass
psykotik2k: i cried
Typical Lewser: *shakes head*
Typical Lewser: takes the ugly flat chick, and passes up the hot chick.
Typical Lewser: haha
psykotik2k: *sigh* stupid kevin
Typical Lewser: and he wonders why his career is dead now.
Typical Lewser: psch.
psykotik2k: his loss
Typical Lewser: seriously

Clerk12345: exactly! What the fuck was that whiny fucks problem?! He bagged Sandy Tyler for christs sakes! If I bag just her, not to mention the rest of his retro harem, I would never complain again!
Clerk12345: I fuckin hate people like Kevin Arnold
Clerk12345: FUCK Kevin Arnold

Typical Lewser: amen to that.


Kevin Arnold was an idiot.

HE IS!!!

And so i kept posting about the Wonder Years for about a whole week or so. I got lots of IMs. Lots of e-mails. It was teh good times.

Subject: ahhh
From: justin
Date: Wed, Aug 29 2001 7:06:05 AM -0700 (PDT)

So anyways, I just wanted to take a moment to say that Winnie does rock, and though yes he had some WAY hot girlfriends on Wonder Years, Winnie is still the best. She was the ideal hottie back then. Anyways, I love your page and shit like that, cya later:)


Subject: Re: Winnie
From: “tdpriest”
Date: Wed, Aug 29 2001 3:59:59 PM -0700


Tell Lester he’s an idiot. Winnie was NOT hot during the Wonder Years. Winnie was not hot until she was on that other stupid Fred Savage show that lasted for about a season. That one show that no one heard of and I can’t remember the name of. That other blonde chick was hot, and so was that chick from Son in Law that you posted.

So, yeah, Winnie = NOT HOT, and Blonde = HOT.

Besides, Winnie was crazy. He did so much better than her.

– tdp


But then somewhere along the line, i stopped obsessing about how much i hated Winnie Cooper and i started obessing about Fred Savage. Which led me to one of the great Fred Savage movies ever. No, not that stupid one with monsters under your bed or whatever, it was…

THE WIZARD! Wow! Opening credits! Christian Slater! Beau Bridges! Super Marios Bros!! KEVIN ARNOLD! WOW! California! California! Hi! FRED SAVAGE! Retard videogame playing genius! Hot girl! Where’s Winnie Cooper? Wow! Cosmo magazine! Hot girl taller than Fred Savage! Long kiss on top of trailer! Damn FRED SAVAGE! Nintendo Entertainment System! Oh no! Bad kids in trenchcoats! Vision Streetwear! Power Glove!! Wow! POWER GLOVE! “I love the Power Glove. It’s so bad.”!! Power Glove in dog movie Beethoven too! Power Glove starred in more movies than Fred Savage! RAD RACER! Oh no! Bad kid kick ass! It’s in the Power Glove! Power Glove actually deliver more believable performance than Fred Savage! I think it won Best Supporting Actor In A Movie Starring Fred Savage! Sorry Cary Elwes! Bad kid Lucas still kick ass! I want Power Glove! What to do now! Bring out retard who plays games good! Oh no! Retard run away! Oh no! Video Armageddon! SUPER MARIO BROS. 3!! WOW! Magic flute! WARP ZONE! Boo! Cheater! Win championship! YAY! Super Mario Bros. 3!!! All go home now.

Goodness. Was the movie GREAT or what??? POWER GLOVE!!!!

Lucas. The original Nintendo master.
I love the Power Glove. It’s so bad.

Anyway my Fred Savage obsession got so bad that i even went on to plug my own site on my AIM away message with misleading advertising which said…

Typical Lewser:
Auto response from psykotik2k: NUDE FRED SAVAGE PICS!
Typical Lewser: You have reached a new all time low my friend.

ex0tic n sull3n: you.
Auto response from psykotik2k: FRED SAVAGE PORNO!!!!
ex0tic n sull3n: oh my god.

spastiC spackLe: omg
Auto response from psykotik2k: FRED SAVAGE PORNO!!!!
spastiC spackLe: you post a lot
spastiC spackLe: WHAT THE!!!!
spastiC spackLe: thats so wrong!!
spastiC spackLe: *send me some..*

*pause for laughter*

Unfortunately, my Wonder Years/Fred Savage obsession ended a couple of posts later.


Oh well. It had to end sooner or later. Those were teh good times.

What would you do if I sang out tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
I will try not to sing out of key, yeah
Oh, baby I get by with a little help from my friends
By with a little help from my friends.
All I need is my buddies
By with a little help from my friends
I said I’m gonna get by with a little
By with a little help from my friends
Whoa oh oh oh oh

I still hate Winnie Cooper.


Busy busy busy. I’ll update sometime soon-ish. Oh and to everyone who’s e-mailed me within the past 2 weeks or so, just letting you all know that i did get your e-mails. I’m just really really bad at replying in a timely fashion, that’s all. I’ll get back to them soon-ish though. I promise! Anyway, to make up for the lack of content, here are some passwords.

login: zondance
pass: dr0seuss

login: zestlish
pass: gleedog

login: zerko
pass: toyman

login: zeilau
pass: wallbu

login: zarko900
pass: babbette

login: zamora28
pass: rosario

Thanks Psykodelic.


More passwords courtesy of Pskodelic. This time for

login: edworld
pass: aprils

login: artz44
pass: thomas35

login: numbsi
pass: oberguru

login: pasquali
pass: pythium

login: slamdunk
pass: 981037

login: planerx
pass: ograof

login: rammit98
pass: dodge98

login: melch1999
pass: wannabe

login: diemont
pass: chwd

If these passwords don’t work, go here.

Libby update

New developments in the Libby Hoeler story:

“I was bored and stumbled on this site the other day. As a student at Marquette University in Milwaukee I had become aware of the Libby videos roughly two years ago. I was suprised when I read that the story provided on this site, and apparently considered to be the real story, differed so much from the one going around the Marquette campus. I decided to ask a few people I knew from DSHA, Marquette High and UW Madison what they had heard and their stories coincided with what I had already heard…” – Posted by MUguy – 4:48pm August 13, 2002

The rest of this story can be found in the comments section of the Libby post. Click here to read more.

Movies movies movies!

Today i am going to critique some upcoming movies:

  • Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever

    First of all, what the fuck kind of stupid title is Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever anyway? That has got to be the worst movie title ever in the history of worst movie titles ever. Also, the trailer is supremely underwhelming. I dunno. It just seems really ass. Although i do like the way Lucy Liu looks in this movie. Very Trinity-like. Also there’s one pretty neat looking money shot where’s she firing away this huge machine gun thing. You know with a title like Ballistic, i sure do hope there are some good gunfights in this movie. And lots of kung fu too. Although that wouldn’t make sense because what the fuck does ballistics have to do with kung fu? But yeah, anyway, there are a few fleeting shots of Lucy Liu singlehandedly kicking a group of guys asses that looks pretty promising. But i dunno. Also i’ve heard that there’s absolutely NO DIALOGUE at all for like 3/4 of the entire movie’s running time. So yeah. I’m thinking this movie will be all flash and no substance. Okay maybe i’m exaggerating a bit about the NO DIALOGUE for 3/4 of the movie but yeah i have heard that there’s very little dialogue in this movie. So overall, i think this movie will be ass. Although i could be wrong. Because it might turn out to be pretty good.

  • National Security

    Now here’s a movie that i’m actually looking forward to watching. Too bad it comes out in January though. Which is still a long ways away. Boo. But yeah, this looks like a pretty funny movie. Of course, they might just be showing all the good parts of the movie in the trailer with the rest of the movie being complete ass but from the looks of it, it seems like a pretty good-ish flick. Martin Lawrence teaming up with the always wacky Steve Zahn in a ‘buddy comedy without the buddies’. Go watch the trailer. It’s pretty hilarious. Overall though, i think this movie will be ass. Although i could be wrong. Because it might turn out to be pretty good.

  • Stealing Harvard

    Hmm. Jason Lee and Tom Green. In a movie together. Hmm. Okay if it weren’t for the fact that Jason Lee is in this movie, i would automatically just think that this movie will be ass. But Jason Lee might just be able to save it from being complete ass. But i dunno. Tom Green. Tom Green only works in small doses and cameos (ala Road Trip and Charlie’s Angels). So i dunno. Hmm. Yeah overall, i think this movie will be ass. Although i could be wrong. Because it might turn out to be really really ass.

  • Fear Dot Com

    This movie is a total rip off of The Ring. Except instead of watching a VHS tape and dying 7 days later, you basically die after going to some site. Or something. I first saw the trailer to this movie while i was watching Reign Of Fire with my girlfriend. It looked pretty ass. Reign Of Fire was a pretty ass movie too. I actually sorta zoned out halfway through the movie. It was too long. I wanted that movie to end. But it just kept on going and going. In the end, i felt like i wanted to eat my girlfriend out of frustration because the movie seemed like it wasn’t ever gonna end. But then it did. And i didn’t eat my girlfriend. So that was a good thing. So yes, back to Fear Dot Com. Overall, i think this movie will be ass. Although i could be wrong. Because just like Stealing Harvard, it might turn out to be really really ass.

  • The Ring

    This movie is the American remake of the Japanese original. It’s basically about this VHS tape that, if you were to watch it, you’d get a phone call after you finish watching it telling you that you only have 7 days to live. Spooky! I’ve seen the original Japanese version and contrary to what my farting roommate at time said about how it was the scariest movie ever, i didn’t think so. I did think it was creepy though. Faceless female Japanese apparitions with long hair will always forever be creepy. I heard that the American remake slightly changes the story a bit. Not the main concept (it’s still about evil VHS tapes) but just the story. So it probably won’t be an exact shot for shot remake of the original Japanese version. It’s probably worth watching i guess. Not like if you were to watch Open Your Eyes and Vanilla Sky back to back because it’d be pretty pointless because both movies are pretty much shot for shot the same. Plus the American remake has that blonde girl from Mullholland Drive, which was apparently a pretty good movie but i haven’t seen it yet. I’m talking about her being in The Ring of course. Not Vanilla Sky. But i dunno, like i said, i haven’t seen that movie yet (Mullholland Drive. Not Vanilla Sky). But i do know she gets naked in it though (the girl in Mullholland Drive who’s in The Ring… in Mullholland Drive). Maybe i should pick it up on DVD someday. But i dunno. The DVD is pretty barebones. Fucking David Lynch. Never wanting to do commentary tracks or documentaries for his movies. Fuck you David Lynch. Also don’t go to the official movie site of The Ring. It’s the stupidest movie site ever. Overall though, i think this movie will be good. Although i could be wrong. Because it might just turn out to be ass.

  • Shanghai Knights

    Jackie Chan! And Owen Wilson! Okay there is no way in hell that this movie will be ass. Just like both Rush Hours, this movie will be good. I love Jackie Chan (in a heterosexual way of course). And i love Owen Wilson (also in a heterosexual way). Owen Wilson is one of my most favoritest male actors next to Ben Affleck. Have i ever mentioned that i love Ben Affleck (in a heterosexual way)? I love Ben Affleck (in a heterosexual way). So Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson travel to merry old England and they get to make fun of English people. That is the best storyline ever. Overall, i think this movie will be good. I give it two perky nipples up.

  • Ghost Ship

    This is the stupidest movie ever. I hate it. And i haven’t even seen it. I HATE IT. ASS. ASS ASS ASS.

    And that concludes my critique on upcoming movies.

    Oh and guess what? Tomorrow is DVD Tuesday!

    And Birthday Girl will be released. I haven’t seen this movie. But i think Nicole Kidman gets naked in it. Plus she plays a mail order bride. Nicole Kidman as a mail order bride? I’ll buy that for a dollar!

    Too bad i won’t be buying the DVD though. Because there are only like two extras on it. An ass featurette and an ass music video. Stupid Miramax. More extras dammit.

    And then next week marks the DVD release of the unrated version of The Sweetest Thing which i will definitely be getting. Because i haven’t seen it and it seems like a pretty fun movie. Plus any movie that has Christina Applegate in it is worth getting. I think you can see her in her underwear in that movie. Yes. Definitely worth getting.

    Oh and Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown gets released too. Both Collector’s Editions. And they both come on two discs but surprisingly, there won’t be any commentary tracks on either titles. Fucking Tarantino. Too lazy to record a commentary track.

    Oh well, there’s like tons of other interview-y stuff on the second discs anyway. Maybe that will make up for the lack of commentary tracks. Oh and the Jackie Brown DVD has the full uncut ‘Chicks with guns’ thing on the second disc. That alone is worth buy the Jackie Brown for.

    Anyway, i will be getting those 3 DVD’s next week.

    This morning i woke up and i was pleasantly surprised to see that i got an e-mail from the Bikini Karate Babes people (!).

    Subject: Bikini Karate Babes
    From: “Bikini Babe”
    Date: Sun, Aug 11 2002 11:31:34 PM -0400


    Glad to see that you enjoyed the trailer. You’re site is pretty cool too. I told some of the cast (from the game) about your article. They’ll probably be checking it out soon.

    Good luck with your site, and your ever expanding game and DVD collection. We’ll update our website frequently also.

    How cool is that?

    I actually ordered the Mac version of the game off the site. I wonder how long it will take to get shipped out. Haha. I hope the game plays well. Actually i wouldn’t really mind if it plays ass. Just the novelty of being able to control bikini karate babes that can shoot fire from their boobs, take off their tops and smack someone in the face with it, and snatch their opponents’ bikini top for the victory IS WORTH IT.

    Go buy a copy!

    Wow this is a long post.



    And yes, as RIDICULOUS as it may seem, that really IS a REAL site and that really IS a REAL game.

    Check out this blurb from the official site:

    Are you looking for a good time?

    Bikini Karate Babes has action, comedy, sex appeal and strategy, all wrapped up in a tight little package! Play up to 19 bouncy, leggy, aggressive, silly, mischevious and sexy characters. Each character has a unique personality and is modeled from real images of actual women in outrageous combat.

    Fantasy or reality?

    At 60 frames per second, Bikini Karate Babes features the most advanced interactive video experience ever! The full range of motion is captured for every punch, kick and jiggle. You can control each Bikini Karate Babe in real-time! The real-life images, combined with fluid motion and incredible detail, blend the worlds of fantasy and reality together.

    “The full range of motion is captured for every punch, kick and jiggle. You can control each Bikini Karate Babe in real-time!”


    And omg. You HAVE to download the trailer for the game. It is absolutely UNBELIEVABLE.

    BIKINI KARATE BABES TRAILER!!! (3 minute long video, 28 megs)



    Okay. I’m buying this game now.