House of DOOM!

None of the following is relevant to anything in any way, shape, or form whatsoever. I didn’t even put in the effort to try and make it interesting and/or comedic. Why? Because I’m hungry, bored, and my fingers just want to push on the little buttons….they’re just so cuuute! Reee!

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Star Wars Vs. Lord Of The Rings

I can’t really say that i’m a big fan of Star Wars, especially the prequels, and i’m not even that big of a fan of the original trilogy either (Episode IV bored me to tears the first time i saw it) but i generally like SW and i appreciate it for what it is and what George Lucas has achieved with the whole franchise. More so with the original trilogy than with the new prequels (gag).

The last two movies have been so bad i actually forgot that i even liked the first three.

Like that classic scene in AOTC. Where Natalie Portman gets knocked out of the flying spaceship thing onto the sand, lies there looking dead, then a robot comes up and says “let’s go” and she’s like “ok” and hops right up and walks away. That’s my nominee for worst scene in a movie ever.

I picked up a bootleg copy of The Two Towers 4 Disc Extended Edition last night and watched it back to back with The Fellowship Of The Rings Extended Edition. Just for continuity’s sake. Started watching it around 9pm and got through both movies sometime around 4:30am. It sure is gonna be fun to watch all 3 Extended Editions back to back again this time next year once the Return Of The King EE DVD comes out. What is that? Like almost 12 hours of LOTR?

Anyhow, point is, i can just imagine how shitty George Lucas will feel after seeing all three LOTR movies and how perfect they will have all been (Return Of The King in about 3 more weeks!)… compared to how utterly disappointing (on soooo many levels) his last two Star Wars flicks have been. And that’s also compared to his own original Star Wars trilogy which is like what? Over 20 years old now? Point is, new trilogy sucks. LOTR is the new SW.

One of the problems i think is that there’s too much goddamned CG! And most of it shitty looking!

The first two LOTR movies prove that CG does not have to look like shit. The shots of thousands of orcs in Moria and Helm’s Deep might have been just as overstuffed with CG characters as Attack Of The Clones, but they didn’t look so silly. Hell, even the Ents and Gollum were more believable than the ridiculous Episode 1 & 2 creatures, possibly because they weren’t in constant motion. Did Lucas not realize that the actors almost never look the CG characters in the eyes?

I’m not sure if you’re aware of all the fanboy bitching about how Lucas is further ruining his once highly regarded (still is.. in some respects) and ‘infallible’ movie franchise (at least until Peter Jackson’s LOTR came along and became best new movie franchise) by going in and ‘fixing’ his original trilogy and adding more CG, making Greedo shoot first.. amongst other horrible changes, etc etc but it’s a pretty big deal in the world of SW geekdom. I hate that the original 3 were mangled on re-release. The computer animated stuff especially did nothing for me (newly added Han Solo/Jabba The Hutt scene anyone? yikes).

If they don’t offer the original versions on DVD, they’re nuts. At least for the purists. George Lucas is collectively raping everyone’s childhood memories of the original Star Wars trilogy with those changes.

Apparently the original trilogy is getting a DVD release in September 2004. What isn’t known yet is whether it will be the original untouched trilogy or the re-released special edition version.

And rumor has it that he’s going to make it even worse by making MORE changes for the DVD release of his ‘original trilogy’. Please George! Stop tinkering with your movies! And if you must, go fix Howard The Duck instead!

Michael Jackson parallel to original trilogy:

Something wonderful and original gets made over and over until the original coolness is almost gone.

Incremental perversion of art!!!

…don’t forget that the newly made over version will rape our childhoods too.


Hehehehe. Guess what. I received my very first hate mail a coupla days ago (at least i *think* it’s my very first hate mail since i don’t recall ever receiving any e-mails of this kind in the 3 and a half years of me running this site). The dude (or chick… but if it’s a dude, he sure does sound like a chick. what a girly man..) has this beef about my old (surprise surprise) Libby post. Bla bla blah.

Subject: Libby hoeler
From: “Anon Amous” Add to Contacts
Date: Sun, 23 Nov 2003 17:10:13 +0000

Just leave it alone, you go on about freedom of speech what about this girls right to a personal life. I feel sickened by your lack of respect and common sense. You go on about you’re only talking about it, well i put my friend’s names into search engines for comedy value, if forums like yours stay on the internet then if her friends do the same she could lose boyfriends, friends, be turned down for jobs etc. When i twigged what that film was for i deleted it straight away and am sending this because i can’t beleave some people are so amoral as to not keep it but try to contact her.

Just drop it you fucking gook prick. How’s that for freedom of speech?

And to which my reply was:

Thanks for your input. Your request will be taken into consideration.

Just kidding.

This was what i really said:

lol. thanks for sending out the first ever hate mail in regards to libby that i’ve ever received. man, this is a keeper. you sending it anonymously only adds to its value.

i really only have three things to say to you:

1) first of all, i really couldnt care less about libby. just because i post about her doesnt mean i want to contact her. i’ve made absolutely no attempt at wanting to contact her nor will i ever. what in the world would i ever get out of it anyway? more videos? pshaw..

2) i feel sickened by your lack of respect and common sense. i can’t believe some people are so immoral as to call other people gooks… *gasp!* …when they’re not even vietnamese! (doh!) and don’t even try chink, nigger, spic, whitey, towel head, dothead, honkey, jap, wop, kike, wetback, camel jockey or french because i’m neither one of those either.

3) go back to fucking grade school and learn to spell you fucking illiterate american white trash hillbilly redneck. how’s that for freedom of speech? (and lack of respect and common sense too for that matter). nobody’s ever going to take you seriously with atrocious spelling like that.

thanks for looking her up on the internet and visiting the site you stalker! <3

Maybe i should’ve just sent out my first joke reply. Hehe. But seriously, if he really wanted to offend me, he should’ve just called me ‘rich’. Hahahaha.

(Bruneian in-joke).

Anyhow, onto more pressing matters. I realize that the site has been pretty shitty content wise lately (actually it’s always been pretty shitty all the time) but i guess i’ve sort of run out of things to post about? Someone once mentioned Maddox not being as good as he was before. Perhaps i’m suffering from the same dilemma? Personally i think Maddox is always funny all the time (and that nobody should even be comparing me to him. his site runs circles around mine). Which brings me to the point of what this site lacks. Consistency. What i would give to have consistently good entertaining posts all the time but eh, i guess i’m not good enough of a writer (and i use that term very loosely) to be able to do that. But like i always tell people who praise me for my site… “i try”.

19/11/03 5:52 AM
KellyKristine79: just wanted to say the i love your website! just came across it the other day (don’t remember how) and it’s 100% awesome. at the risk of sounding trite, “keep up the good work!”
psykotik2k: lol. dont worry about it. thanks. =]
psykotik2k: i try


Anyhow, i guess i should’ve posted up those supposed Avril nipple slip pics on the site. Or at least link to them. Because certain people who don’t know how to use the internet and i feel it’s my job to spoon feed said people by posting links up on my site to save them the trouble. Or something.

That being said, the pics aren’t really all that hot. You can barely see any nipple (i don’t even think it’s a ‘nipple slip’ at all), it’s just Avril flashing the camera with her bra on. Disappointing. You’d be better off choking your chicken to these old bikini pics of her.

Anyhow, i’m having problems visiting certain favorite sites of mine. Amy’s and Keli’s specifically. It seems that whenever i check out their site, it looks like they haven’t updated in a while. Like for example, i go to their site on the 26th and the latest update displayed on their site is a post that’s 3 days old (even though they’ve updated numerous times since then). And i have to refresh or APPLE KEY + R their sites like a million times before the most recent post is finally displayed… a million refreshes later. It’s really annoying. I don’t know if it’s my computer or because of my shitty ISP but yeah, IT’S REALLY ANNOYING. And it only happens with Amy’s and Keli’s. Oh well.

Speaking of which, i saw this picture over at Steve’s other site

…and i was like “holy mamma” (-ries).

And me being a big fan of boobs the size of Australia, i proceed to check out this so called site from whence that picture originated.

I was APPALED to find pictures such as this and this (and this and this and this) on her site! How old is this child?? And why is she dancing around like this in these videos like that with her boobs bouncing all over the place?? That’s just not right!

Libby Hoeler? Fuck Libby Hoeler! Somebody help this poor exploited child! (and buy me a membership to her site while you’re at it).

“Explosivo Diarreo”

Hello people who don’t know me! Hello people who do!(all five of you or so) Alright then, now that that’s all said and done…

Aye mateys, diarrhea wins the ‘Worst Shit Award’ indeed. I was sitting here, minding my own business, doing what I do best…. absolutely nothing. Then, all of a sudden, my ass feels the need to scream. So, I try to hurry my way to the toilet without shitting myself and whatnot. Success! I rock so fucking hard, it’s not even fair anymore. Alas, before I can even celebrate, I have to pull down me pants and pull the release valve. …In one explosive clump of diarrhea….*sploosh* ….my ass beckons. I think to myself “Is it over? Can I leave now? Hello? Is anybody there?” Right after that my ass answers “Yes.” and spits out some of the remains of the beast, as if to spit on my thoughts and demoralize me…yeah…it worked. I scream like a girl….um…”AHH!” “Blimey, I’ll meet the rope’s end before this day is done!” I think to myself like a pirate for some reason or another. In fear that my arse is not yet done, I sit; ass wide open, I sit. As I try the good ‘ol push and chomp technique, all I can hear is a squishy sound; like my butthole is salivating at the thought of the great fear I have of what may come next. It’s the sound your moist tongue makes as you stick it to the top of your mouth, then remove it; go ahead and do it a few times, I’ll wait……….. Yeah, it sounded kind of like that. You didn’t do it, did you? Fucking gay…oh well. I give up on the push and chomp after a minute or so. I attempt the open and wait strategy instead, hoping my luck will differ. After a good ten minutes or so I get this awkward, gay,Justin-like vibe; it appears my ass has been open far too long for my liking….I close it tightly and lock the door….to my ass. What? You act like you don’t have locks on your asshole or something? It’s sort of an anti-grud mechanism…or something.

Anyway….it is done for now. As I wipe the ANALJUICE from me arse, I feel the need to see the beast that tried to best me this humble day. I’m quite frightened, terrified even, but I suck it down and take a quick glance at it; oddly enough, I don’t whip my head back after the site of the poo-monster. No, no….not remotely. Actually, I get quite hungry at the site of the ‘lil bugger. My shit looks just like somebody grabbed a can of chile beans and plopped it in the toilet. I think “Aye, that kind of looks like the chile dog I had the other day…go figure. I could go for another right about now.” This could have definitely been a sign of some sort to eat a chile dog or something, but fuck if I’m going to heat up some scurvy chile beans at 4:30 AM. I mean, seriously, it didn’t quite make me THAT hungry. If it were a bit later, people were up, and I hadn’t eaten in several days….I’d definitely give it a maybe. My voracious efforts had paid off…the peril is now over. The clouds seemingly turn from black to white, as they faded away. The sun can now rise, once again. The birds awaken, and I hear their joyful chirping once more. My hair, blows effortlessly in the wind. A gleam in my eye, a smirk on my face…..victory. I am the most powerful being on Earth at this very moment. I am the ruler of my own bowels. I am a hero to my faithful people. I will rule you all with my iron fist! I saved the day Betty! I saved the day…

I got so pumped after my great victory that I figure I’d write about this fantastic journey to all my Derby brethren….alas… is not there. Have you payed your dues Bus? The check is in the mail……I can only hope. :'(

THE END!(or is it?)

(The Bus Man never did pay his dues….and as a result The Derby Empire fell….and fell….and fell some more…until there was no more fell to fall. It was sad….IT WAS SAD…to bad yep to bad)

Fox and NBC!

Hey ho neighbors. So i didn’t end up buying The Two Towers extended edition on DVD yesterday since they only had the (non bootleg) VCD version on sale (i want the DVD) so i ended up getting the Alias first season boxset instead (bootleg, 6 discs) and… KARAOKE REVOLUTION!

But more on that later.

Believe it or not, i’ve never watched a single episode of Alias before in my entire life. Hell, as a matter of fact, i’ve never even seen CSI or The Shield or whatever.

sm4shy: did you get any goodies for your birthday?
psykotik2k: alias first season boxset and karaoke revolution
sm4shy: you watch alias?
sm4shy: i love alias…so does liz
sm4shy: huge fans
psykotik2k: nope
psykotik2k: never watched it
sm4shy: you should…its a good show
psykotik2k: i dont watch abc
sm4shy: hahaha
sm4shy: you racist
psykotik2k: i only watch fox and nbc
sm4shy: !
sm4shy: why?
sm4shy: abc = jenny garner
sm4shy: cbs = survivor
psykotik2k: pffft
psykotik2k: i dont watch cbs either
sm4shy: wb = ummm…well nothing anymore…but used to have buffy
psykotik2k: and i dont watch wb either
sm4shy: upn = SHIT!
psykotik2k: only fox and cbs
sm4shy: you mean nbc
psykotik2k: yes nbc
psykotik2k: i hate you
psykotik2k: fox and nbc
sm4shy: you fucking elitst…you buy shit ass dvds but get high -n- mighty on your television watching?
sm4shy: LAME
sm4shy: and anything crappy on the web or dvd
sm4shy: or even shit quality vcd
sm4shy: but just not abc, cbs, or wb
psykotik2k: fox and nbc!
psykotik2k: only!
sm4shy: how about FX?
psykotik2k: nope
sm4shy: the shield = awesomeness
psykotik2k: just fox and nbc
sm4shy: hbo?
psykotik2k: nope
psykotik2k: fox and nbc
sm4shy: two of the best tv shows ever made
psykotik2k: never saw the sopranos
sm4shy: you really should expand your mind.
psykotik2k: no interest!
sm4shy: its compelling drama…i was an anti soprano guy for a long time too…until i watched.
sm4shy: and it just STUNNED me how good it is.
sm4shy: i swear to god
psykotik2k: pfft!
psykotik2k: fox and nbc!
sm4shy: you have NO idea what you are missing by not watching sopranos
sm4shy: and its only gonna go one more year and then it’ll be too late.
psykotik2k: fox and nbc!

So i finally found a copy of Karaoke Revolution. It’s so cool! Lots of really good songs on there. Too many to list but there’s stuff from all the way back into the 60’s so there’s probably something for everybody in this game which is good so that old people like Smash can still have fun playing the game and not have to learn how to sing like Avril Lavigne.

Speaking of which, Complicated is a surprisingly hard song to sing! Hell, you only have to watch Avril singing it live in concert to see that even she has trouble singing it sometimes. Or maybe it’s just because we both suck as singers. I probably will never be able to beat this game since i suck at singing so much (hardest song ever on the game probably: ‘it’s the end of the world as we know it’ by R.E.M). It’s sad. But hey, maybe i’ll record myself singing Complicated one day and put it up on the site. That’ll surely be a bandwidth raper alright.

And speaking of Avril, i’ve had no less than 5 people IMing me and e-mailing me over the past 4 days or so informing me about the supposedly new Avril Lavigne nipple slip pics. It’s nice to know that people still associate me with her. Haha. I bet most of you start thinking of me when you think of Avril Lavigne. Freaks. Anyhow, pick up a copy of Karaoke Revolution sometime. It’ll make for an awesome party game if you ever decide to throw one one day.

  • Drinks and snacks for all your friends: $30 bucks
  • One copy of Karaoke Revolution for the PS2: $59.99
  • Listening to your friend maul ‘When a Man Loves a Woman’: Priceless
  • 23!

    Zac you’re such a Gerry. It wasn’t even the 23rd yet foolio. But it is now and i guess that makes me officially 23. Commence the w00ting!

    I think i’m gonna go across the border into Miri, Malaysia later today and buy myself the Extended Edition Two Towers DVD if i can find it. I’d try buying it over here but all they ever sell here are bootlegs (seriously). Anyhow it’ll probably end up costing something stupid like RM$200 or something. Fucking Malaysia. Maybe i’ll just wait till i get back to Michigan in January.

    Happy Birthday me!


    Woo woooo! Just bought Gerry on DVD today. Remember that movie? I posted about it once a coupla months ago. Anyhow, it’s finally out on DVD and since i love the movie so much, i just had to buy it again. Even though i already own the bootleg (actually, they’re both bootlegs but the first copy was one of those ‘shot with a camera in the cinema but still pretty clear dvd bootlegs’. Now i have the fake original copy. If that makes any sense).

    Gerry is just one of those movies that you either love or hate. There is absolutely no real plot whatsoever and out of the whole 100 minute or so running time, there’s probably just like 30 words of dialogue. You may think i’m exaggerating but the whole movie might as well have just 30 words of dialogue seeing as to how little of it there is. I don’t even think there was a script for this movie (and if there was it’d probably just be like 4 pages long or something. Shit, this movie could’ve easily been written on the back of a napkin.

    Basic ‘plot’:

    Two friends, both named Gerry, get lost while hiking in the desert.

    (okay i’m just going to repost my old original [half assed] review starting from now but read it anyway)

    I swear to God it’s just basically two guys. Walking around. In a desert. For 100 minutes. They walk and walk and walk. And then they talk for a while. And then the walk and walk and walk again.

    Let me describe the first opening 5 minutes.

    We see a car driving along a road. No opening credits. There’s background music. Car’s still driving and driving and driving. For like 3 minutes. Then camera angle switch. We see Matt Damon and Casey Affleck in the car. There’s still no dialogue. Just music. This lasts 30 seconds. Then camera angle switch. First person view of them driving down the road. For like 2 minutes.

    Now let me describe one scene for you.

    Gerry I and Gerry II. Extreme closeup on their faces as they’re walking. Heads bobbing up and down. No dialogue. No background music. No cuts. No edits. No change in camera angle. Uninterrupted. For like 4 minutes.

    Shit this is exciting stuff.

    But you know what? I really like this movie. Sure it’s literally just two guys walking around lost in a desert for 100 minutes with barely any talking at all but it’s all just so real. It’s a beautifully shot movie, EXTREMELY long takes for each scene, VERY little editing or camera angle cuts with little to no dialogue at all (and what little there is is all improvised and actually quite humorous). Even Castaway had a lot more talking.

    It’s funny. You can take a bathroom break during pretty much any scene in this movie… and come back… and not miss a single thing! Because the two Gerry’s are still just gonna be walking around lost in the desert!

    My favorite scene is when Casey Affleck gets stuck on a rock. One camera angle. Of him stuck on a rock. And Matt Damon collecting dirt to build a dirt mattress so he can jump down. 10 minutes.

    Let’s look at that again:

    Casey Affleck stuck on a big rock.

    Matt Damon collecting dirt.

    For 10 minutes.

    This is probably the best scene in the movie.

    I’m not even kidding.


    Anyhow, i really really recommend you watching this movie even though you’re probably going to hate it with a burning passion because it’s so ‘boring’ and ‘nothing ever happens’. You really have to watch this at least once. At least so you can tell your friends how incredibly stupid it is and then make them watch it anyway. Haha. Who knows, you might actually like it. Go buy it. Or at least rent it. But whatever you do, just experience it.

    And on another note, i stumbled upon this picture of Hilary Duff last night.

    I actually really hate Hilary Duff (even though i have no real reason as to why other than the fact that i think she’s fucking ugly and that i like Amanda Bynes better) but this picture made me think dirty thoughts which i shouldn’t even be thinking of since i’m turning 23 tomorrow. Woo woooo!

    (yes i know the woo wooo man is like soooo February 2003 but i just find myself randomly going woo woooo randomly for absolutely no reason at all these past coupla days)

    The whistles go wooo!