This post is about The True Boob.

Credit to Bobos? who posted the Lacey Shabear True Boob analysis in the comments of the last post. That True Boob writeup is truly the greatest piece of investigative journalism i have ever read.

What is The True Boob?

Our mission statement: The motivation of the boobologist is to know what they look like. If we say we love boobs, we must love the boob, not the bra. A chest covered in rigid material that shapes the shirt over top is an illusion. And just as eternal life sells religion, cleavage is the trojan horse of a deceptive bustline. Don’t be fooled, no matter how sweet its nectar may look. It’s always better to know the truth. Let’s go and discover the true boob together.

The True Boob speaks to me. Because i love boobs.

As you know, Shabear is in my top 10 of people i want to bang. Despite the conclusion of the article which pretty much says that the Shabear pics from her Maxim spread are full of push up bra/possibly photoshop LIES, Shabear still remains in my top ten regardless.

I almost feel conflicted about someday being able to see her bare boobs, like how we did with Scarlett Johansson, to ultimately be disappointed if they didn’t live up to the imagination. Oh God that would be the worst.

I’d probably still fap, but DAMN, i don’t want to be disappointed! Like, i’ve only fapped twice to the Scar Jo pics! Twice! Now that’s how you measure disappointment.

Anyhow, great analysis of Shabear boobs. Wish there were more of that.

Wait what? There’s more?!

Why yes!

It isn’t just a once off thing and there’s actually a series of these True Boob investigative pieces! Huzzah! Only 4 at the moment but i’m pretty sure there’ll be more in the future, HOPEFULLY.

So far, there’s a True Boob on Jessica Alba (EURGHHH… Angelbaby would like this though)

There’s one on Katy Perry (OH YEAH BONER)

And one on Lindsay Lohan (……)

The Lohan one is pretty depressing when you start thinking about how awesomely booby she was 10 years ago way back in 2004 (which this very website seems to be stuck in). Lohan in 2014? Man, what a waste.

That said, i still fapped to her in that stupid movie she did where she got her boobs out.

This is a pretty accurate depiction of that fap.

You can keep checking back here for more True Boobs.