My dream girl!

This is where all the posts that appeared on the old front page (June '04 - January '05) are stored (back when the site was run using IPB Portal).
Post Reply
User avatar
Justin
Posts: 1228
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 09:19
Location: Brunei
Contact:

Post by Justin » 26 Jul 2004 16:53

<i>---------------
To: webmaster@psykotik.zzn.com
Subject:
From: Dragon69chic2@aol.com Add to Contacts
Date: Fri, 23 Jul 2004 16:47:30 -0400

Attachments: 220017.jpg, crazy weekend0021.jpg

Hi, my name is Jessica siminski and I like your site and I wanted to show you what I look like. See for yourself on this HIGH RES picture of my nipple!  I saw your site and I like it and I think I want to have sex with you Justin.  I am looking to get pregnant and I think you would be a good father. I am also looking to become a model, despite my teeth being crooked and my boobs being so small. What do you think? Should I pursue it? I hope to hear frmo you soon!


PS--Just for the record, I turn 19 on August 20th 2004, so I'm "of age."

Jessica simisnki
---------------</i>

Never let it be said that being an internet geek doesn't get you the chicks. Or at least hi res pictures of their nipple.

And with that being said, i'm think i'm gonna have to pass on your offer Jessica. Let's just say that i'm saving myself for Avril Lavigne. Or at least someone like her.

But you know what, i think i'm starting to get bored of being single. But at the same time, i'm also too fucking lazy to go out and meet people. And besides, statistically speaking, i have NEVER been successful at hooking up with girls whenever i make the first move. NEVER. I actually have better luck just waiting it out and letting them come to me (as evidenced by that e-mail up there. although whether or not she was actually serious, and i doubt she is, is besides the point).

Now personally, if i had my pick of the litter, this is what my 'dream girl' would be like:

<b>Figure:</b>

Nothing less than a Avril Lavigne and nothing more than a Diana Degarmo.


<CENTER><IMG SRC="/movies/avrilperf1.jpg" border="0"> <IMG SRC="/movies/dianaperf.jpg" border="0"><BR><BR>Avril Lavigne/Diana Degarmo.</CENTER>

Why? Because i'm a skinny guy and i probably wouldn't look right standing next to anyone who's more than a Diana. Actually, i probably wouldn't look right standing next to ANY girl, Diana or Avril, because no girl in their right mind would ever wanna be with a skinny guy like me! So i lose no matter which type i hope to get!

<b>Size:</b>

I prefer short petite chicks. Ideally someone like Avril Lavigne.

Why? Because again, being with someone taller (and more towards the Diana Degarmo scale of things) just wouldn't look right! It'll be like (and this is just an exagerration) Jennifer Tilly going out with DJ Qualls or something.


<CENTER><IMG SRC="/movies/djqualls.jpg" border="0"><BR><BR>I'm too lazy to find a picture of Jennifer Tilly but that's DJ Qualls and i think you get the idea.</CENTER>

To put things into perspective, i'm much rather suited to be with a Natalie Portman or an Avril Lavigne...


<CENTER><IMG SRC="/movies/avrilperf.jpg" border="0"> <IMG SRC="/movies/natalieperf.jpg" border="0"><BR><BR>Avril and Natalie. JUST NICE.</CENTER>

....than a Britney Spears or a Lindsay Lohan. Who are built like fucking tanks.


<CENTER><IMG SRC="/movies/britneyperf.jpg" border="0"><BR><BR>Britney Spears. Too big for me. Plus i wouldn't hit it anyway. Britney is a fucking southern trailer trash ho bag</CENTER>

<CENTER><IMG SRC="/movies/tankperf.jpg" border="0"><BR><BR>Lindsay Lohan. But despite being a tank, i'd still hit it.</CENTER>

Honorable mention:

<CENTER><IMG SRC="/movies/robinperf.jpg" border="0"><BR><BR>Robin from The Real World San Diego. Now this girl is the fucking panzer of all tanks (whatever that's supposed to mean). Watching me and her having sex would be like watching a tank running over a Mini Cooper. BUT EVEN SO, i would actually still hit it. It'd just look fucking ridiculous as hell.</CENTER>

<CENTER><IMG SRC="/movies/djqualls.jpg" border="0"><BR><BR>Kinda like this.</CENTER>

Those girls are built like tanks compared to me at least, even if i'm not exagerrating. So being with someone who has a Britney/Lindsay/Robin figure would just look too damn goofy. And you know people won't be going "Awwww! You two make such a cute couple!" when they see us together. They'd be more like, "WTF WAS THAT?"

<b>Hair:</b>

Not really too picky about hair. But i do kinda like the layered Jennifer Aniston look. Brown hair would be nice too. Black is fucking boring. I have fucking black hair. I see black hair everyday. But again, hair color and length isn't really that big of a priority. So whatever.

Brown > Red or Blonde > Black.

Oh with one exception, i'm not really into curly hair. Sorry =(

<b>Boobs:</b>

One of my ex's is a double D so there's really not much more that i could ever want you to have. So at this point, big, small, i love them all. Nothing less than an Avril Lavigne though.

<b>Age:</b>

Well since i am gonna be FUCKING 24 this November, it would probably be a good idea if you were at least 20 or older. Actually it would be even cooler if you were older than me because i actually prefer older chicks (half the chicks i've dated were all older than me. then i got bored and somehow started dating younger chicks. now i realize that i like older chicks more because younger chicks can be fucking retarded what with all their stupid ass teen angst and their fucking 'experimental' phases and overall fucking NOOB AT LIFE-iness. I fucking hate that fucking stage in life).

<b>Habits:</b>

Preferably a chick that's into movies, play videogames, lazy as fuck (i.e doesn't go out too damn much and would rather just stay home and play videogames/watch a dvd/sleep/fool around, doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs, isn't a fucking elitist when it comes to music (i fucking HATE that - so in other words, you must not mind me putting on an Avril Lavigne CD or whatever), someone who generally isn't fucking stupid and doesn't mind me having this website (i've had enough of girlfriends that've objected to me running this site the way i want to).

<b>SO IN CONCLUSION:</b>

I wanna be with someone just like me who looks just like Avril Lavigne!

Shit, you know, i'd probably have better luck getting what i want by having a sex change, getting some plastic surgery done and turning myself into Avril Lavigne! Then i'd have a mirror installed on my ceiling above my bed and then i'd masturbate to myself all day everyday.

Now THAT would be ideal.

So what's YOUR idea of your 'dream girl'? Mix and match using celebrities.
Last edited by Justin on 04 Dec 2004 16:10, edited 1 time in total.

JustSumDude
Posts: 662
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 09:52
Location: Orange County, CA
Contact:

Post by JustSumDude » 26 Jul 2004 17:17

Justin wrote:But you know what, i think i'm starting to get bored of being single. But at the same time, i'm also too fucking lazy to go out and meet people. And besides, statistically speaking, i have NEVER been successful at hooking up with girls whenever i make the first move.
<span style='font-family:Tahoma'><span style='color:green'>I am going to rape your butthole, Justin. Then you won't be lonely! Yay! :grin:</span></span>

pangwinking
Posts: 133
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 11:14
Location: Westfir, Oregon.

Post by pangwinking » 26 Jul 2004 17:24

My dream girl looks like JSD's anus.

JustSumDude
Posts: 662
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 09:52
Location: Orange County, CA
Contact:

Post by JustSumDude » 26 Jul 2004 17:26

pangwinking wrote:My dream girl looks like JSD's anus.
<span style='font-family:Tahoma'><span style='color:green'>HOTT!!

Image Pang :wub: </span></span>

User avatar
Justin
Posts: 1228
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 09:19
Location: Brunei
Contact:

Post by Justin » 26 Jul 2004 17:26

i always knew this site was full of woman hating fags

:o

JustSumDude
Posts: 662
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 09:52
Location: Orange County, CA
Contact:

Post by JustSumDude » 26 Jul 2004 17:29

Justin wrote:i always knew this site was full of woman hating fags

:o
<span style='font-family:Tahoma'><span style='color:green'>We just follow your example ... fearless gay butt-loving leader!!

OMFAG!! ASIAN BUTT RAPINGS!!@#&#036;!twelve)(*^?

:O</span></span>

Wombat
Posts: 197
Joined: 18 Jun 2004 09:48
Location: Under your bed...

Post by Wombat » 26 Jul 2004 18:02

Justin wrote: i always knew this site was full of woman hating fags

:o
Thats why some folks join.

JustSumDude
Posts: 662
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 09:52
Location: Orange County, CA
Contact:

Post by JustSumDude » 26 Jul 2004 19:00

<span style='font-family:Tahoma'><span style='color:green'>Hey Wombatluv ... wanna be Justin's dream girl? He loves teh cock, you know ...</span></span>

WP_LeGeNd
Posts: 163
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 14:34
Location: Amsterdam
Contact:

Post by WP_LeGeNd » 26 Jul 2004 19:16

WOW justin you actually posted something which wasn't just one sentence... I'm so fucking proud!!!!


as for dream girls... she has to be smart like natalie portman, she has to have the body of a pornstar... preferably taylor rain (yep I like petite as well)... I'm not really that into blondes I like brunettes better. As for boob size, I don't like them too big and fake boobs are a big no no! Personality wise, they have to be able to put up with me, I have a real sarcastic sense of humour (I once made a guy cry with a remark). so she should be able to counter my humour. And I love it when a girl can cook!

JustSumDude
Posts: 662
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 09:52
Location: Orange County, CA
Contact:

Post by JustSumDude » 26 Jul 2004 19:29

WP_LeGeNd wrote: WOW justin you actually posted something which wasn't just one sentence... I'm so fucking proud!!!!


as for dream girls... she has to be smart like natalie portman, she has to have the body of a pornstar... preferably taylor rain (yep I like petite as well)... I'm not really that into blondes I like brunettes better. As for boob size, I don't like them too big and fake boobs are a big no no! Personality wise, they have to be able to put up with me, I have a real sarcastic sense of humour (I once made a guy cry with a remark). so she should be able to counter my humour. And I love it when a girl can cook!
<span style='font-family:Tahoma'><span style='color:green'>She'd have to have a thing for stupid junkies, too ... or be a stupid junkie herself.</span></span>

NGEddie
Posts: 128
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 14:37
Location: UK

Post by NGEddie » 26 Jul 2004 19:33

Perfect Woman
Image


Haha - just needed to beat Bubba to it

edit: i like this picture better! and yes! keli is perfect! (and mine too)
Last edited by NGEddie on 26 Jul 2004 21:38, edited 1 time in total.

Nick Trod
Posts: 24
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 19:59
Location: Illinois, USA

Post by Nick Trod » 26 Jul 2004 20:11

Lets see, looks wise Katie Holmes is perfect. Not to small, nice tits, brunnette. I have dated some really small girls, and it's a bit weird, cause I'm a tank. I'm not huge, but I'm big. I don't want any of the psycological bullshit, and she needs to be secure enough in herself to have her own life, and call me on my bullshit. It'd be nice if she's interested in some of the same things I am but not all. She needs to have an open mind.

edit - I think Bubba is going to arrive in london with a flame thrower.
Last edited by Nick Trod on 26 Jul 2004 20:13, edited 1 time in total.

JoeBlack2k
Posts: 5
Joined: 19 Jun 2004 19:22
Location: Holland
Contact:

Post by JoeBlack2k » 26 Jul 2004 21:11

Gimme Jessica Biel and i'll never wank myself again!!

Mandarin
Posts: 81
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 09:39
Location: Manhattan, New York City

Post by Mandarin » 26 Jul 2004 21:24

It seems to me that Justin's description of his dream girl boils down to this: Bligs with boobs.

Bligityblah is older than Justin. He's not built like a tank. He doesn't mind this website. He's lazy as fuck and I'm sure that he'd much rather just stay home and fool around. What would be most telling is if I found out that Justin dreams of Bligs at night. That would be the clincher. It's a good thing Justin's not that gay...
Last edited by Mandarin on 26 Jul 2004 21:25, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Justin
Posts: 1228
Joined: 17 Jun 2004 09:19
Location: Brunei
Contact:

Post by Justin » 26 Jul 2004 21:37

actually i did dream about bligs last night. it was fucking disturbing. i cant remember all the details but i think we were like roommates or something. and bligs was somehow secretly gay and he kept trying to fucking touch me and sleep with me. WHAT A HOMO.

26/7/04 12:29 AM
psykotik2k: you're a faggot
psykotik2k: in my dream
jfcoggins: you dream about me :o
psykotik2k: you roommate rapist faggot
jfcoggins: :o
psykotik2k: you're a gay :o
jfcoggins: you are!
psykotik2k: a secret gay :o
psykotik2k: you!
jfcoggins: I'm a latin lover!
psykotik2k: you straight pretender!
psykotik2k: scary!
jfcoggins: :o
psykotik2k: scary gay
psykotik2k: !
psykotik2k: then in another dream
psykotik2k: i dreamt i was friends with avril :OOOO
jfcoggins: you dream about me!
psykotik2k: but i love her!
psykotik2k: and i try to make move on her!
psykotik2k: but so hard!!!!!
psykotik2k: it was a sad dream
jfcoggins: smack!
psykotik2k: i wanted to sleep with her
psykotik2k: i go into her room!!! :OOO
jfcoggins: and see me nailing her!
psykotik2k: :o
psykotik2k: no you're not in this one
psykotik2k: you gay
jfcoggins: liar!
psykotik2k: GODDAMN TRAILER
psykotik2k: <a href='http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/wicker_park/' target='_blank'>http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/wicker_park/</a>
psykotik2k: i blame this movie for my dreams
psykotik2k: the gay bligs one
jfcoggins: :o
psykotik2k: and the avril one

yeah and i had another dream after that. which, if you read that chatlog up there, was about avril. me and her were friends and crap but i was in love witth her and i didnt know what to do about it! so i started becoming really creepy, like, SECRETLY creepy and i started doing all these creepy non gay not like bligs things like sneaking into her room at night and playing with her hair while i watched her sleep.

again, i blame all this on this stupid trailer <a href='http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/wicker_park/' target='_blank'>http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/wicker_park/</a>

shouldn't have watched it before i went to bed
Last edited by Justin on 26 Jul 2004 21:37, edited 1 time in total.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 18 guests