PMS

This is where all the posts that appeared on the old front page (June '04 - January '05) are stored (back when the site was run using IPB Portal).
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Justin
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Post by Justin » 29 Dec 2004 07:11

It's in our natural human instincts to be afraid of things. Say for instance, some people are afraid of bees because they know they might get stung. Some people are afraid of flying because the plane could wreck or whatever. And finally, some men are afraid of their girlfriends just because they might never know when PMS just might sneak up on them. Guys never truly want their girlfriends to be mad at them for no apparent reason (but it fucking sucks) so it's in our human nature to do whatever possible to make our girlfriends feel comfortable. PMS has many bad side affects from a male's point of view, but looking from the woman's perspective, it has a very good side that until now has been their little secret. So it's time to blow the lid off this 'magical power' known as PMS. In just 6 easy steps, you will know everything you need to know about how they use PMS to get whatever you want from you.

Step one: Whining! In this step, the shriller they whine, the better the results. Guys hate to hear their girlfriends whine, so we'll do whatever necessary to make it stop. This step will usually happen on a football night, since this quickens the results by up to ten times guaranteed. If they're one of the many gifted women with the talent to produce tears with a snap of their fingers, they'll do just that. I don't mean the little whimper with a few tears rolling down their cheeks... i mean the loud tantrums until they get what they so desire. They have to be careful with how frequently they use this step though. Because if they do it too much, that'll make you think of her as a crybaby. And what woman would want to be thought off as a crybaby.

Step Two: Complaining of stomach pain as often as possible. Even if they've never experienced cramps in their entire life, you won't be able to know this. Because you're a guy. And guys don't get girly cramps. This step will immediately get them the star treatment they've been craving. Suddenly, you'll be doing things that you've never even dreamed of, like cooking, cleaning, and having deep discussions with her about life. This step may also help them realize if they should dump you. If you go out to the store, buy some Midol, and tell her that she should stay busy, she'll think you're no good and that you just want her to cater to your needs. How could you be so selfish?! So be wary of this tactic and act accordingly.

Step Three: Becoming extremely emotional. At random times throughout this week, they'll cry for no reason at all. Then, when you ask what's wrong or why they're so upset, they'll just respond with a very emotional and tear filled, "You just wouldn't understand, okay!" Also, every time you say her name, give her a comforting look, or even walk into the same room that she's in, she'll flip out on you. She'll pick a pointless fight about anything that's been bugging her, or whatever pops into her head at that moment. This'll ensure that for at least that day, that you won't bother her with any of the nagging little questions that you might ask. She'll also be able to get that much needed rest because you'll just decide to let her cool off... freedom at last for her from you!

Step four: Ignoring you. Yes that's right. She'll just ignore you. This will surely prove one of two things. The first thing that it might prove is just how honest you're being with her. If she's ignoring you, you'll surely become nervous and suspect that she knows of something that you've done wrong. If you has a guilty conscience, it won't last for long. If you know you haven't done anything wrong, then she won't have to watch you squirm, and she can rest assured at night that you've been faithful to her. The second thing that this method might prove is just how far you're willing to go for her. Regardless of if you're guilty or not, you'll bend over backwards to please her so you can get out of the doghouse as quickly as possible.

Step Five: Making things up. Guys have no concept of what goes on inside of a girl's body besides whats been drilled into our heads at school. That means that we really don't know what a period and PMS is fully capable of. We love to stay as far away from those subjects, and anything that even sounds like it could be in the same category, as possible. This is truly a blessing for her. This means that if she tells you that there's an assured cure to stopping PMS for 24 hours, you'll go to any extreme to find it for her. If they tell you that a foot massage is the ultimate cure all to menstruation cramps because it keeps your blood circulating properly throughout their entire body, you'd've already tuned them out by the time they get to the word blood and you'll agree.

Finally, Step Six: Getting you alone and apologizing for how strangely they've been acting. By this time, you're probably fed up with her, but since you're still around, she knows you're dependable and will stick by their side through good times and the worst of times. She may even want to buy you a little trinket of her love or whatever for you. This will assure her that you'll stick around until the next month's cycle of craziness.

Note: they'll only use these steps when they're feeling deprived of the love and attention that they they deserve from you. If you realize that they're using these steps too much, then you'll know for sure that they're just taking advantage you. But then again, if you're not a good guy in the first place, and that they have to resort to all these steps for attention, then who cares! You probably don't deserve her anyway you pig.

DMBrules
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Post by DMBrules » 29 Dec 2004 07:15

too many words


MORE PICTURES!!

emperorbob
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Post by emperorbob » 29 Dec 2004 07:17

We can't process any of that information...DMBrules is correct...we need pictures of Boob's and stuff.

The Zot
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Joined: 20 Jun 2004 18:57
Location: Alaska

Post by The Zot » 29 Dec 2004 07:18

Step Two: Complaining of stomach pain as often as possible. Even if they've never experienced cramps in their entire life, you won't be able to know this. Because you're a guy. And guys don't get girly cramps. This step will immediately get them the star treatment they've been craving. Suddenly, you'll be doing things that you've never even dreamed of, like cooking, cleaning, and having deep discussions with her about life. This step may also help them realize if they should dump you. If you go out to the store, buy some Midol, and tell her that she should stay busy, she'll think you're no good and that you just want her to cater to your needs. How could you be so selfish?! So be wary of this tactic and act accordingly.
You have never been to Russia and accidently drank the water........i thought my lungs were gonna shoot out my ass, but only after my intestines decided to do an imtation of a snake that has just been snagged by Steve Irwin.

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Justin
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Post by Justin » 29 Dec 2004 07:18

i already posted pictures. now you get words.

CrazyBeaner
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Location: Glendale, Ca

Post by CrazyBeaner » 29 Dec 2004 07:38

I thought it was funny and watnot. Fuck you. random moment of da day, 3 more to go.

Rodrego345
Posts: 37
Joined: 06 Aug 2004 11:10
Location: MA,USA

Post by Rodrego345 » 29 Dec 2004 08:00

Thank God one of Justin's posts actually contained words other than "Hi-Res". Although I do like the pictures that he posts, sometimes it's nice to switch it up a bit.

WP_LeGeNd
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Post by WP_LeGeNd » 29 Dec 2004 08:16

I concur with the too many words remark... I'm tired I read tomorrow!

joemizzle
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Post by joemizzle » 29 Dec 2004 09:00

Wow, I just wasted five minutes of my day reading all of that. It's not just that they were words, they were pointless meaningless words.

I don't demand pics all the time but that was probably the most worthless blog entry I've seen on FUBAR in a long time. Even Justin's DVD rants or his stories of shopping for DVD's are at least insightful and/or entertaining. That, my friend, was just stupid. :wicked:

AynSof
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Post by AynSof » 29 Dec 2004 09:02

MORE WORDS IS GOOD.

Justin should talk more.




:wub:



Anyone who doesn't like Justin's words should go to the forum and read Newbie Intros.

iamthedevil60
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Joined: 15 Nov 2004 22:26
Location: Dhaka, Bangladesh

Post by iamthedevil60 » 29 Dec 2004 09:03

Now what do we do? :blink:


Edit:

You sure you're not Avril? <_<
Last edited by iamthedevil60 on 29 Dec 2004 09:09, edited 1 time in total.

onlyamereshadow
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Post by onlyamereshadow » 29 Dec 2004 09:15

You sure you're not Avril? <_<

<span style='color:green'>Dumb. :mellow: </span>
Last edited by onlyamereshadow on 29 Dec 2004 09:17, edited 1 time in total.

efilflah
Posts: 1376
Joined: 19 Jun 2004 21:15

Post by efilflah » 29 Dec 2004 09:30

Justin wrote:i already posted pictures. now you get words.
What's next, pictures with words in them??





Fairness dictates that if a girl goes through PMS once a month, then boys should get the same period of time to act the way they act (no pun intended). Yes we don't go through what they go through, but we do have to suffer the incessant whining about it that we've heard a gazillion times before. We shouldn't have to be their personal scapegoats, they should appreciate the help and try not to endulge in their dark side and over-react so much, they should make allowances for the fact that they aren't themselves, not the other way around.

echophase
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Post by echophase » 29 Dec 2004 09:33

You deal with PMS, we deal with childbirth, it's a fair trade.

(except for me cause I don't like kids and don't plan on having any ... ever)

efilflah
Posts: 1376
Joined: 19 Jun 2004 21:15

Post by efilflah » 29 Dec 2004 09:34

(except for me cause I don't like kids and don't plan on having any ... ever)
Where've you been all my life? :wub:

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