Puzzlehead vs. Burrito

puzzlehead · Post by **puzzlehead** » 26 Jan 2006 11:40

I went to Chipotle tonight. I went with my wife. My wife the she-devil who has me on this fucking diet because my doctor says that my bloodpressure is 4x the norm and that my cholestoral is poor. I've been on this damn thing for weeks but tonight we decided that I could be bad.

So I ordered a steak fajita burrito and proceded to scarf it down. Now I'm sick. What's worse is that I'm a guy. You know what that's like - we refuse to back down from a challenge. This challenge came to me in the form of my wife saying "I'm full and can't eat anymore. I bet you can't finish the rest of mine".

She had ordered the same thing I did.

I feel all sorts of oogy and I swear that, given the right circumstances, rice is going to fly out my nose.

What's the most you ever gorged to the point where you got sick?

BlackMage · Post by **BlackMage** » 26 Jan 2006 12:07

Once upon a time, I my mom 2 platters of chicken enchiladas. I ate a whole platter and 3 servings of mexican rice. I couldn't move from the couch.

lswalker · Post by **lswalker** » 26 Jan 2006 12:28

BlackMage wrote:Once upon a time, I my mom 2 platters of chicken enchiladas. I ate a whole platter and 3 servings of mexican rice. I couldn't move from the couch.

What, you ate your mom?

BlackMage · Post by **BlackMage** » 26 Jan 2006 14:44

Hehe, my bad. Thats what happens when you've 2 conversations going on while you're trying to type.

My mom made 2 platters of enchiladas. I have to lay off the rum.

Phife · Post by **Phife** » 26 Jan 2006 15:32

In high school I ate 54 slices of pizza in one sitting...football practice the next day was not fun!

puzzlehead · Post by **puzzlehead** » 26 Jan 2006 15:34

Phife, I am both amazed and disgusted with you. Good job!

Phife · Post by **Phife** » 26 Jan 2006 15:40

puzzlehead wrote:Phife, I am both amazed and disgusted with you. Good job!

So you are telling me that you are feeling the exact same feeling towards me that you always feel?

~vjay~ · Post by **~vjay~** » 26 Jan 2006 19:24

Phife wrote:In high school I ate 54 slices of pizza in one sitting...football practice the next day was not fun!

I tried that once at an all you can eat pizza place when I was 17.

I got up to about 15 before I gave up, one of the guys got to around 27 before he couldn't force himself to eat anymore.

*Wondering how big slices of pizza over there are?

puzzlehead · Post by **puzzlehead** » 26 Jan 2006 21:03

Phife wrote:So you are telling me that you are feeling the exact same feeling towards me that you always feel?

So that was what was causing that weird tingling in my pants...

Don't fall for vjay's tricks, Phife. Everyone knows that serving portions in the US is bigger than Australian. vjay, single slices of American pizza are as large a Honda Civic.

Clarissa · Post by **Clarissa** » 27 Jan 2006 08:13

puzzlehead wrote:I went to Chipotle tonight. I went with my wife. My wife the she-devil who has me on this fucking diet because my doctor says that my bloodpressure is 4x the norm and that my cholestoral is poor. I've been on this damn thing for weeks but tonight we decided that I could be bad.

So I ordered a steak fajita burrito and proceded to scarf it down. Now I'm sick. What's worse is that I'm a guy. You know what that's like - we refuse to back down from a challenge. This challenge came to me in the form of my wife saying "I'm full and can't eat anymore. I bet you can't finish the rest of mine".

She had ordered the same thing I did.

I feel all sorts of oogy and I swear that, given the right circumstances, rice is going to fly out my nose.

What's the most you ever gorged to the point where you got sick?

Did you hork in a bush?

I try not to eat until I die but I've been known to do it when I find a White Castle.

puzzlehead · Post by **puzzlehead** » 27 Jan 2006 08:42

No. Luckily I didn't hork in a bush. My stomach felt like a cement mixer, though.

On the weekends when I was a little kid my mom would come home from work and bring lunch with her. Typically this meant a Whopper from Burger Thing. Remember, these were the days of simple burger joints. No double, quadruple, super-duper mega delux jobbies. Just a Whopper. For whatever reason she found it funny to challenge me, to: how fast could I eat one? I got it down to 13 seconds.

Unfortunately, my body didn't know it was full so I would eat a second one. And then I would feel sick. Oh, I wasn't going to let no stupid hamburger call me a bitch! No matter what I was going to consume that second Whopper.

I'm starting to see a pattern here in my eating habits.

Clarissa · Post by **Clarissa** » 27 Jan 2006 08:47

You know, if the stories of your drinking follow suit, things are starting to make a lot more sense.

puzzlehead · Post by **puzzlehead** » 27 Jan 2006 08:49

Go big or go home! Huzzah! Nothing like doing everything to excess.

Which means that in my teen years I should have been blind.

(that's a masturbation joke for you slower children)

badbart · Post by **badbart** » 27 Jan 2006 08:55

puzzlehead wrote:(that's a masturbation joke for you slower children)

Whew. Thanks for explaining that. Now I don't have to just pretend-laugh while I read in confusion.

this may be a framebuster, but in honor of your story and your avatar...

(well, it's kinda related to the story)

Phife · Post by **Phife** » 27 Jan 2006 16:28

Just a tidbit to think about.

The word burrito has always bothered me. What does it mean? Well, let's break it down. Burr...as in Burro, which is espanol for donkey. Ito...not the judge in the OJ case, but a suffix in espanol that means little. Thus, burrito means little donkey. No wonder you felt like your stomach was a cement mixer!

PART OF THE BOARDS FORMERLY KNOWN AS TJNR

Puzzlehead vs. Burrito

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