Bad taste jokes

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Smiley
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by Smiley » 17 Sep 2009 05:30

Patrick Swayze doesn't want anybody to put baby in the corner.

Michael Jackson just wants somebody to put the baby on his face.

Too soon?

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psyper
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by psyper » 17 Sep 2009 07:01

Smiley wrote:Patrick Swayze doesn't want anybody to put baby in the corner.

Michael Jackson just wants somebody to put the baby on his face.

Too soon?
Too soon after gullivers joke cos his one actually made sense.

Keith Floyd is being cremated tomorrow - Gas Mark 5 for 2 hours.

Patrick Swayze is already looking to do Ghost 2

Whoopi Goldberg is unable to get a tune out of her head at the moment: "I'm Henry the 8th I am. Henry the 8th I am I am."
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

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gulliver
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by gulliver » 15 Oct 2009 20:56

The doorbell rang one Halloween, and when I answered it, there was a little boy dressed as the Predator stood there with his dad.
"And who are you?" I asked, as I bent down to give him a sweet.
"He's a child Predator," said his dad.
"What a coincidence" I thought...

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gulliver
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by gulliver » 21 Oct 2009 20:08

I went to a funeral yesterday with my girlfriend, It was the first time I had met most of her family.

God they're miserable fuckers.

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gulliver
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by gulliver » 21 Oct 2009 20:09

Retard + Bath + Boiling Kettle = Vegetable soup.

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gulliver
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by gulliver » 16 Jan 2010 10:10

Is it too early to joke about haiti? Or should i wait for the dust to settle.

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gulliver
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by gulliver » 18 Jan 2010 08:22

I've always loved my wifes Minge.

The neatly trimmed pubic hair, the soft skin at the top of her thighs, her erect clitoris, her tight but wet vaginal opening....its just the rest of the cunt I cant stand.

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Dex
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by Dex » 13 Feb 2010 08:05

Q: Whats the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?

A: Only a few of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.
“Also, mouth-to-mouth causes AIDS” - Zilch 5/18/2010

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gulliver
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by gulliver » 15 Feb 2010 07:08

Red roses - check!
Barry White album - check!
Scented candles - check!

Tonight, that little hot minx of a wank sock won't know what's hit it

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gulliver
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by gulliver » 16 Feb 2010 21:23

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, sledge is heavy
There's vomit on his papakhi already, Mum's chanakhi
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
He's got qualms, and he keeps on regretting
That he's going down, at ninety one miles per hour
His thoughts turn sour, realises he's not in power
He's speeding now, velocity's exceeding now
The barriers hit, sled's up over, BLAOW!

You better LUGE yourself!

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smash
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by smash » 16 Feb 2010 22:22

gulliver wrote:His palms are sweaty, knees weak, sledge is heavy
There's vomit on his papakhi already, Mum's chanakhi
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
He's got qualms, and he keeps on regretting
That he's going down, at ninety one miles per hour
His thoughts turn sour, realises he's not in power
He's speeding now, velocity's exceeding now
The barriers hit, sled's up over, BLAOW!

You better LUGE yourself!

Dude I'm laughing out loud now.

Thanks. people at work think I'm nuts already.

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gulliver
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by gulliver » 13 Sep 2010 07:10

Just ordered a new Porsche & mentioned it on my Facebook page, I said "I can't wait for the new 911" & now 4000 muslims have added me as a friend!

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Bob
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by Bob » 12 Nov 2010 22:20

Logan: Dude, dude, did you hear about the smoking hot twins I've been banging for the last month and a half?

James: No i haven't, are they like really hot twins or are they kinda fugly and you're banging them jus cuz they're twins?

Logan: No dude, they're totally fucking gorgeous plus they're complete fucking nymphos. I met them at a sex shop and so now every time i come over to their place we just have completely nasty kinky vile sex for hours and hours on end. Then, after they've totally worn me out, they just dildo and go down on each other and let me watch, its fucking incredible, i hit the fucking jackpot man.

James: hahaha that's awesome dude, but how can you tell the difference between them? Does one of them have a sexy mole on her ass or something?

Logan: Well, Cindy has absolutely voluptuous C cups, long blonde flowing hair, and the ass of a black goddess while David is bald but has a really thick mustache

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gulliver
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by gulliver » 16 Mar 2011 05:43

My Japanese Friend owns a corner shop in Japan, and I was getting worried about him. You see, he was nearly bust...

I rang him yesterday - he says he's doing fine.

Apparently, customers are just flooding in!

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Dex
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Re: Bad taste jokes

Post by Dex » 16 Mar 2011 08:48

Japanese disaster footage is easier to watch than Japanese porn.

There's a lot less crying.
“Also, mouth-to-mouth causes AIDS” - Zilch 5/18/2010

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