I REALLY LIKE TITANIC

14 09 2012

My copy of Titanic Collectors Edition arrived from Amazon today. Really glad i had mine preordered. It’s sold out now and it’s going for $299.99 from other asshole sellers lol wtf.

I took a picture.

Titanic is like the best movie EVER.



Sara Underwood

24 08 2012

You know you’ve arrived as an American sex symbol when you get tapped for a Hardee’s/Carl’s Jr. commercial. Oh, and I guess being Playmate of the Year is also a pretty good sign.

Sara showed off her new burger spot on Attack of the Show… (skip to 1:30 if you just want the ad)

Heh…he said “pulled pork”.

p.s. The brunette in the commercial is Emily Ratajkowski, who used to be on Nickelodeon’s iCarly. And just like Sara, she’s posed nekkid.



I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS

22 08 2012

Surprise lovebirds alert: Canadian rockers Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger are engaged, despite the fact that not many people knew they were even dating. According to People, Lavigne and Kroeger sparked up a romance while they were working together on material for Lavigne’s new album but chose to keep their relationship private.

“A romantic relationship blossomed as they spent time writing together,” a friend of Lavigne’s told the magazine. – MTV

I kinda like some Nickelback songs though.

Can’t wait for her next album!



WHAT THE WHAT

14 08 2012

Remember that post about Hayden Panettiere and how fucked up she allegedly is? Well, it seems par for the course for most of these Hollywood starlets apparently. I stumbled across this crazy story about Miley Cyrus.

Now, this is probably the best Miley Cyrus fan fiction i’ve ever read or one of the most fucked up true stories ever.

I actually got a boner reading it.

Several years ago, I was working at an accounting firm doing financial statement audits in L.A. Pretty good experience but boring work for the most part. After a couple years of doing this, and seeing the ins and outs of Hollywood, I began to see where there was real money to be made. In my audits, I saw the the bank that the TV execs and producers were making. True, they worked very long hours, but I did have occasion to meet with them, and it definitely did not seem to be rocket science. Only years later did I find out why they spent so many hours at the office.

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KATY PERRY

13 08 2012

I was reading about how these waterpark slides can literally remove tops and bottoms due to the intense rush of water.

It’s just too bad the water didn’t remove Katy Perry’s top, as opposed to her bottom.

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I’m actually slightly horrified yet intrigued by DAT ASS.



“YOU ARE NOT A GOOD PERSON”

11 08 2012

This was hard to masturbate to.

But i did it anyway.



AVRIL LAVIGNE!

5 08 2012

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I GUESS THIS IS TRUE

5 08 2012

Dolphins used to ‘poke’ Jessica Alba, presumably at her vagina.

DOLPHIN RAPE.

Jessica Alba is always careful when she’s scuba diving because she doesn’t like attracting amorous dolphins. The actress discovered horny cetacean mammals got aroused by her presence when she was a youngster while shooting dolphin drama “Flipper.”

She recalls, “I don’t know if anybody knows this but dolphins get excited, even when you are a human being – and they have long, long… (penises). I didn’t know this until I was being poked by a few of them, which was very rude. I think I learned my lesson. I sort of request female dolphins after that because those are horny little bastards.”

Alba reveals the dolphin dilemma became a constant joke at the actress’ expense. She tells MTV News, “Needless to say my closest friends and family did dolphin squeaking noises for the next five years any time they referred to me or called me or talked to me, which was pretty annoying.”

– (OLD NEWS)

POST BONUS: 14-year old Jessica Alba dreaming of following Flipper to his rape cave…

You’re welcome.
-AB



WAIFUUUUUUU

9 07 2012

She really is growing up nicely.

I LOIKE.



Happy Birthday America!

4 07 2012

What better way to celebrate the old gal’s 236th, than Kate Upton’s July photoshoot for GQ?

God bless the USA.