Ooh what a lovely tea party!

Wow i can’t believe it. Even Umgawa has been updating more than i have. I guess it’s about time i updated too.

It’s fucking cold today. I think it’s like 10 degrees outside right now. Which doesn’t seem like much but when you factor in the added slap in the face that is ‘windchill’, it feels like it’s actually -8 out there. But it’s not. But it is. But not really. You know what i mean. I think it’s even worse on the east coast around New York.

There’s this chick in my news and public affairs class that looks like Mandy Moore. I swear to God.

Okay so maybe not *exactly* like Mandy Moore but she’s definitely got a Mandy Moore thing going on. Like for example the the mole on her cheek. I have no idea what her name is nor do i have any desire to even want to get to know her but the point is, she reminds me of Mandy Moore and she could probably even be a pop star. Or an actress. Just like… Mandy Moore! What a coincidence.

One thing i’ve noticed about girls these days. They almost NEVER look their age. Take the Mandy Moore chick in my class for example. From what i recall on the first day of class when everyone was introducing themselves and stuff, i think i remember her saying that she was like 21 or something. But she looks 18!

And then there are the girls that look like they’re fucking 25 or whatever but they’re only really 21!

If i were single, i would have a hell of a hard time trying to pick up chicks nowadays. You can never really tell how the fuck old they really are. It’ll be like i’d (hypothetically speaking because in reality, i don’t got no game so i ain’t exactly gonna be scoring no bootay not with my so called lack of ‘skillz’ in the picking up chicks department*) go up to some random chick who i’d think is pretty. She’d look like she was 21 or something only to find out she’s fucking 17. Or even worse, i’d go up to some chick who i’d think was probably older than me, or at least LOOKS older than me (because even though i’m actually 23, i could probably pass for someone that still goes to fucking highschool or something. Heck, i’ve seen highschool kids that probably look older than i do. And these kids are probably like 16. But they look like they’re fucking 23) and only to find out that the chick is only like 21, yet she looks like she’s 24 when i’m 23 and she looks older than me. But anyways, yeah. It’s something i’ve noticed lately.

Also, to contrast the Mandy Moore chick in my class, there’s this other celebrity lookalike that i always keep seeing around campus. This other chick looks *exactly* like fucking Rachel Stevens (look her up) and as beautiful as she is, she sorta gives off this bitchy kind of vibe. Granted, i don’t even know this girl and i have no idea whether she’s really as bitchy as she looks but the point is, i notice that pretty much all the girls that would put into the ‘beautiful’ category, gives off this bitchy kind of vibe. Whereas, girls that i would classify as being ‘cute’, like that Mandy Moore chick, seem to be much more pleasant and easy going. Or at least it would look that way. So in conclusion, it seems that:

Cute = Nice (maybe?)

Beautiful = Bitchy? (could be)

At least that’s what i think. Maybe it’s just me. But since i have no real desire in wanting to find out whether this theory of mine is true, i gotta ask those of you who have tried going for these types of girls. The ‘cute’ ones and the ‘beautiful’ ones. Are the beautiful ones more standoffish? Bitchy? ‘Would never give you the time of day’ kind of girls? Or am i right about the ‘cute’ ones being generally much more nicer and approachable.

Girls that don’t look their age and shouldn’t even be lusted over by guys over 18:

Alexa Vega – August 27, 1988
Hilary Duff – September 28, 1987
Evan Rachel Wood – September 7, 1987
Maria Sharapova – April 19, 1987
Katy Rose – January 27, 1987
Robyn Richards – January 22, 1987
Lindsay Lohan – July 2, 1986
Olsen Twins – June 13, 1986
Megan Fox – May 16, 1986
Emily VanCamp – May 12, 1986
Amanda Bynes – April 3, 1986
Margo Harshman – March 4, 1986
Mischa Barton – January 24, 1986


* i promise never to speak like that ever again

42 thoughts on “Ooh what a lovely tea party!

  1. Best looking girl I’ve ever dated was a total fucking knock-out that I met while she was shopping in the Tower Records that I worked at. Genuine model material(some sort of Eastern European background). And she was legitimately fucking sweet too(although a little loopy). In fact, she started the conversation.
    She was, however 8 years younger than I was at the time….17 although she looked 24. Dated her intil her mom found out I was 25 and told her she couldn’t go out with me anymore. Bitches.
    So…I’d agree. Women don’t look their age. Maybe the hot ones don’t become bitches until their 20s.

    #1 | Comment by ocho — January 22, 2004 @ 12:17 pm

  2. yeaghhh
    hear the new Howard Dean dance remix

    #2 | Comment by headscratcher — January 22, 2004 @ 12:26 pm

  3. Insert random comment that seems more witty to me than it actually is.

    #3 | Comment by bligityblah — January 22, 2004 @ 12:39 pm

  4. I think it’s more of a matter of those who think they’re hot shit are usually those with bitchy, snobbish personalities … just a thought.

    #4 | Comment by JustSumDude — January 22, 2004 @ 12:54 pm

  5. Mischa is legal in 2 days!

    #5 | Comment by Anonymous Bastard — January 22, 2004 @ 1:20 pm

  6. OMG I love thos young chicks… older chicks I dig 2… I love all chicks.

    Ohw btw totally off topic but I know you guys will apreciate it… the best series ever is online take a look at this


    damn this has gotta be the best series ever!

    #6 | Comment by WP — January 22, 2004 @ 1:45 pm




    #7 | Comment by HOMERJDOH — January 22, 2004 @ 2:43 pm

  8. I think Justsomedude is on the right track. I have dated, a couple of types in these catagories. The woman I am with now, (who I am going to marry by the way) Is absolutly Beautiful and she is sweet and caring and all that, but can be a "firecracker". Nice way to say it.

    For me, the so called "cute" chicks are the ones who have screwed me over. But like, justsumdude said, If they think they have it going on and they dont know how to handle that, then they are bitchy most of the time…

    #8 | Comment by Geidi — January 22, 2004 @ 2:46 pm

  9. Great. And, of course, I had to get my site plugged on a day when I actually put up something good, which wouldn’t be necessarily representative of my site as a whole. Or something like that.

    There’s this one really cute girl in my Poli-Sci class right now that I’m sure I’ve met before. Maybe it was school or something, but I think she was one of the girls who used to work at one of the movie theaters I used to work at. Smart, too, which is always a good thing. Maybe not for most people, but it is for me, because I know I’m not going to get laid anyway, so I might as well have a decent conversation or two before I get dumped.

    #9 | Comment by Umgawa — January 22, 2004 @ 2:55 pm

  10. Umgawa — I wanted to mention that your post today was excellent indeed. Great read. If you want to top it, I think you’re going to have to show your tits in the next.

    #10 | Comment by Amy — January 22, 2004 @ 3:09 pm

  11. Yeah, it is fucking cold out there. Yeah, I’m in Kalamazoo too, and I stumbled upon your awesome website while web surfing. But yeah, It’s cold out. I take it you go to Western?

    #11 | Comment by DarckkorioN — January 22, 2004 @ 3:15 pm

  12. The cute stereotype doesn’t hold, I know a girl that’s cute, but is deliciously evil.

    She has smitten me, and it’s going to hurt, but oh how pleasant my thoughts are when bent towards her.

    #12 | Comment by Seriously — January 22, 2004 @ 3:29 pm

  13. And another thing:

    d00d, wotz pu w/ ur sighte??//?

    It seems to be down half the time I try to bring it up. More actually.

    #13 | Comment by Seriously — January 22, 2004 @ 3:31 pm

  14. … I guess I’ll comment on the cute/beautiful thing. I’m at work… the alternative involves actual ‘work’.

    I’ve been told I’m "cute". I’m sometimes told I’m beautiful, but that has usually been by men who loved me (whose vision was clouded by emotion), or my grandmother (whose vision is clouded by glaucoma).

    "Cute" leaves room for imperfection. "Beautiful" often implies model-type looks, or as close to cultural perceptions of perfection as possible.

    I think drop-dead gorgeous women are told so often how beautiful they are that their egos can grow to the point of "I’m too good for you". Maybe they don’t feel the need to develop "niceness" (manners), because shit just goes your way when you’re crazy-hot. Or maybe they’re used to men groveling at their feet, and they’ve become disgusted by the behavior.

    And even the nice and beautiful women are kind of screwed, because they know that people are going to assume they’re stuck up. They’re used to women hating them because all men want them, and men hating them because they can’t get them.

    Maybe. I dunno.

    #14 | Comment by Amy — January 22, 2004 @ 3:33 pm

  15. Yeah, it’s been butt ass cold recently. I’m in Boston and it’s actually warmed up by 40-50° the past few days, but it’s still only 35° out right now. Actually felt pretty nice, I wandered around looking for a job. I think it had gotten to 20 something below with windchill at one point earlier this month.

    Also, maybe I’m retarded, but what on earth does the subject have to do with the rest of the post?


    #15 | Comment by Jeff — January 22, 2004 @ 4:44 pm

  16. beautiful, cute, old, young, ill still fuck them. hell i fuck anything with tits

    #16 | Comment by dammit — January 22, 2004 @ 5:20 pm

  17. i actually had a whole paragraph where i went on to post about what i thought of beautiful women vs cute women; about how they think of themselves and how they use what they know about themselves to their advantage over boys sometimes, just like what amy described. but i decided to excise the paragraph because i didnt want to offend all the beautiful people out there. hehe. besides, i could’ve just been wrong about everything.

    personally though, i’d would tend to go for ‘cute’ or ‘pretty’ girls. very very rarely ‘beautiful’ ones. mainly for the reasons amy just described.

    of course we could both be wrong about ‘beautiful’ women. maybe. i dunno.

    oh and yes, i do go to western btw.

    #17 | Comment by Justin — January 22, 2004 @ 5:44 pm

  18. It was almost 70 here today in Dallas 😀

    #18 | Comment by bligityblah — January 22, 2004 @ 6:09 pm

  19. justttinn.. i need your address. i have something to send you! 😀

    #19 | Comment by suzi — January 22, 2004 @ 7:09 pm

  20. newbie to the site here. but for the cute = nice HELL NO!! ive ben with some satanic sucubuses that seemed like the cutest little thing.

    #20 | Comment by azluigi — January 22, 2004 @ 10:20 pm

  21. welcome! hope you stay and leave comments UNLIKE THE REST OF YOU DAMN LURKERS READING THIS.

    and ooh ooh a gift from suzi! please let it be this shirt. i’ve been wanting for that damn shirt for the past 2 years now. but i doubt it will be. sob.

    #21 | Comment by Justin — January 22, 2004 @ 10:43 pm

  22. … I’m not going to show my tits, Amy. For my own sake and for that of my three readers. Because there’s two things I don’t do unless I’m fantastically, tremendously drunk: Sing, and take off my shirt in front of others. Not going to happen. … And now I have to start writing that Final Fantasy thing.

    #22 | Comment by Umgawa — January 22, 2004 @ 10:54 pm

  23. o.k this is off the subject and said many times here but OH MY FRIGGIN GOD. that girl crystal is honestly one of the hottest women ive ever seen.not just as a "real" non celebrity thing.she’s uber hot for any women any where ever. well that being said gotta look at some more pics

    #23 | Comment by azluig — January 22, 2004 @ 11:44 pm

  24. Little off subject but i was just checking the real world road rules pictorial and the links dont work again. Could you send me a working link, the pics, or post them again. thanks alot

    #24 | Comment by JUSTIN ALSO — January 23, 2004 @ 3:44 am

  25. stop whining just fuck anything that moves

    #25 | Comment by dammit — January 23, 2004 @ 5:27 am

  26. ahhh goes to western, right in my backyard then.Ah the crop of women out there, as well as GVSU.

    #26 | Comment by tyreas — January 23, 2004 @ 6:17 am

  27. Olsen Twins – June 13, 1986

    It’s getting closer, closer-rrr WOOHOO ! Dum-de-da de-da .. only 5 more months.

    #27 | Comment by Lock — January 23, 2004 @ 7:15 am

  28. Justin, time to post some more .. err posts, containing links to all those lovely jailbait ladies methinks ..

    #28 | Comment by Josh — January 23, 2004 @ 12:42 pm

  29. i think a girl could be cute or beautiful, and still not place much importance on any of it, and so be more human than any girl who is either gorgeous or butt ugly, but obsessed with the way she looks, and so, a bit vacant, and often bitchy. i’ve known ugly people (girls and guys) to be a total pain in the ass cause they have such a major inferiority complex abt the way they look that everything boils down to that; every negative comment is attributed to the way they look, and in case of a beautiful person, everything positive is a result of their looks (in their head) rather than the way they are.

    its all about how beautiful a person thinks they are…you could be gorgeous to a lot of people but not really think it, and so still be nice to other people whereas someone who is just average could think that she’s the hottest thing on earth, and go around being a snob because of it…

    basically, its all in a persons self-image, not how they really look. plus, beautiful women get judged far more harshly and immediately than average looking women. its stupid to presume someone will be a bitch just cause they happen to be beautiful and someone will be nice just cause they’re ugly. besides, a lot of the times, ugly people are nice only because they feel they have to be.

    its all about how beautiful a person thinks they are…you could be gorgeous to a lot of people but not really think it, and so still be nice to other people whereas someone who is just average thinks that she’s the bomb, and goes around being a snob because of it…

    basically, its all in a persons self-image, not how they really look. plus, beautiful women get judged far more harshly and immediately than average looking women. its stupid to presume someone will be a bitch just cause they happen to be beautiful and someone will be nice just cause they’re ugly. and besides, ugly people are nice only because they feel they have to be.

    #29 | Comment by sarah — January 25, 2004 @ 4:42 am

  30. The perception of someone as "beautiful" also lies in how that person carries themselves, or how the surrounding majority of people tend to view her. For example, a person who is average-looking, but carries herself with confidence, good posture, and a smile, can send off vibes that she is "attractive" and "worthwhile." Whereas a person who is average-looking, but slumps around and frequently feels self-conscious or inferior, might send off vibes that she is "ugly," so that the people around her might become convinced that she is uglier than she actually is.

    As far as other peoples’ opinions of someone affecting how you yourself would view that person, it is unfortunate, but it does happen. For example, if a guy is average-looking but all the girls seem to find something really great about him, and play him up to be something big(even if he isn’t), psychologically that could convince someone that yes, this plain-ol-Joe-Schmo is a true "hottie"(happens with Justin Timberwhore all the time, the way all those teeny bopper magazines play him up to be Man of the Year, etc). You see all these girls praising this average-looking guy, wonder if maybe you’re the abnormal one if you don’t see how "hot he is, and then the majority’s opinion of this guy being "hot" becomes convincing.

    As far as good-looking people being more "bitchy" than others? Perhaps sometimes they are bitchy because yes, all the attention and praise goes to their head. Maybe it’s also in the way that they act and carry themselves; things that help to portray a person as "attractive," such as walking very confidently with head held high, can be perceived as confidence and beauty, but also as arrogance or conceit.

    What is really strange that I’ve encountered is this: To be completely honest, I have to say that I’ve had more luck in dating with the good-looking guys than the ugly ones. Ever since middle school. In middle-school, I bonded okay with the older more popular guys, but on the contrary, it was the nerds who hated me–these boys weren’t just considered "nerds" only because they hadn’t reached puberty yet(:-D), it was also because they acted equally as immature as they looked. Even now, it seems that I attract guys that fall into the "type" of look that I tend to go for(thin, blonde hair, piercings/tattoos–fairly good-looking guys, I must say), whereas the guys that "aren’t my type" usually aren’t the ones to hit on me. I doubt that the reason my ugly high school peers didn’t go for me is because they were intimidated by me being better-looking than them(they probably didn’t even think that). I think it is because in general, people tend to become attracted to members of the opposite sex that look similarly to them(don’t hold me to this now, I’m using this theory very loosely)–which might explain why I more often attract guys who are my type, since those are guys who look similarly to the way I like to present myself. Whereas the "ugly" guys go for girls who aren’t necessarily ugly, but look more similar to them(and don’t look like me).

    #30 | Comment by Becca — January 25, 2004 @ 3:42 pm

  31. As a guy, I can safely say one thing : I never go for women as ugly as me. When I see a woman as ugly as me, I pretend I’m gay, or run. I hit on hot chicks. I fail, miserably, but that’s okay.

    #31 | Comment by foodie — January 27, 2004 @ 10:44 pm

  32. Why do people play the lottery? Somebody’s gotta win. Hell, for all my miserable failures, I’ve gone out with some pretty hot women. If I can manage, anybody has hope.

    Hell, if we weren’t hitting on hot chicks, we’d have to stay home and post to pointless websites about operating system internals. Nobody wants that to happen, right?

    And, on the topic of this post, the last two really hot chicks I hit on turned out to both be seventeen. That threw me for a loop. Women who aren’t legal should have to wear an arm-band or something.

    #32 | Comment by foodie — January 28, 2004 @ 1:09 am

  33. i’ve NEVER understood that…why do ugly guys go hit on gorgeous women??!

    #33 | Comment by sarah — January 28, 2004 @ 12:47 pm

  34. i love girls of all ages whether the look 18 but are really 25 or they are 25 but look 18.

    #34 | Comment by ryan — February 3, 2004 @ 10:30 pm

  35. Seem to me many times you see a super hot girl with a super dorky fuck. I have always figured
    a lot of hot girls do get hit on because average
    "Joes" feel they dont have a chance in hell.
    I’m a dorky fuck but my wife is good lookin’
    and ten years younger than I am.

    #35 | Comment by joe — February 6, 2004 @ 4:06 pm

  36. all those girls on that there list, except alexa, r legal here in england, tho god knows the amount tony blair(prime minister in case u dont kno)is sucking up 2 george bush our laws will prob b the same soon, in fact he’ll prob try to get england encompased in the USA as the 51st state, another "freak state"

    #36 | Comment by do u rele care — February 18, 2004 @ 6:06 pm

  37. rachel stevens is sooooo hot!

    i definately go for cute girls than beautiful girls. they usually have a sense of humour, which can help.

    btw, check out a really cute girl, kinda famous here in england, called alex parks. she aint your typical cute girl, but there is just something about her….. the x factor i suppose. really sweet looking – http://www.alexparksonline.com

    #37 | Comment by lauraball — March 20, 2004 @ 3:39 pm

  38. i think that megan fox is really pretty


    #38 | Comment by yeah — January 17, 2005 @ 2:37 pm

  39. “welcome! hope you stay and leave comments UNLIKE THE REST OF YOU DAMN LURKERS READING THIS.” Posted by Justin – Thursday, January 22, 2004 @ 10:43 pm


    fah king fantabuluos site, amazing wot u find on the net. more to the topic then = dating a chick thats 43 years old, she looks not a day over 32…. do i look like i care? btw: i’m 26

    #39 | Comment by Goigen — May 5, 2005 @ 5:12 pm

  40. I like ur site. Megan Fox and Mischa Barton are total babes. I’m 62, I live in Louisville Kentucky and I jerk off to those girls. They’re over 18 it’s ok!!!

    #40 | Comment by Old man — November 23, 2005 @ 9:58 pm

  41. Have got a hard on just thinking about Megan Fox, Kirstin Kreuk, Mischa Barton and Evan Rachel Wood. I had never heard of Emily van Camp or Katy Rose but thanks. I have no girlfriend so will just jerk off till I go out on my rounds as a builder tomorrow.

    #41 | Comment by Old man — November 23, 2005 @ 10:14 pm

  42. Hi Im out driving a lorry tomorrow. I jacked off last night over Mischa Barton and Megan Fox. I’d love to fuck them and then get them to blow me. I’d suck their tits and bend them over. I’m so hard!!!

    #42 | Comment by Old man — November 29, 2005 @ 8:54 am

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