Teh Bubba: holy shit, i should write a post about smash. he’s creepy as fuck, and he scared me!
pangwinking: how?
pangwinking: did you touch your bad place?
pangwinking: sigh
Teh Bubba: hohoho, funny you ask! welllll…
pangwinking: i lose again
pangwinking: did HE*
Teh Bubba: shit, this is when the post starts
Teh Bubba: i better start writing it…

You see, my friends, there is this guy. He’s 30 years and some odd days old, and well…he’s…he’s fucking creepy as sin. You may know him, he goes by the alias Smash. So I’m sitting here, doing my usual nothing routine.Then…all of a sudden!

Session Start (TehBubba:sm4shy): Wed Jan 21 05:37:33 2004
sm4shy: OY!
Teh Bubba: stupid cow
sm4shy: OY OU
sm4shy: OY OY
Teh Bubba: oi
Teh Bubba: buy me some pants
Teh Bubba: …and some towels
sm4shy: will i get some bubba nekkid pictures if i do?

It’s naked you fucker! You know damn well! I hate necks…moving on.

Teh Bubba: no
sm4shy: dammit
sm4shy: did you happen to see on liz’s LJ that she chatted one day and did the MSN webcam thing the whole day before realizing she was in a tshirt and underwear only?
Teh Bubba: i don’t have an LJ
Teh Bubba: going to get food real fast

What the fuck? I don’t care that much, I head out with my brother to Del Taco. Ahhhh, Del Taco, my saviour at 5:30AM. I love you wetback lacho lady, I love you oh so very much. I love your tacos…and your burritos…and your quesadillaos…and your Mr. Pibb…o’s…and your titties…and your cun…hm. Anyway, I get back and see…..THIS!

sm4shy: you can get a free LJ
sm4shy: and you lie
sm4shy: you posted on keli’s before
sm4shy: besides which, it is not about LJ its about her chatting in MSN with her camera
sm4shy: dork

Oh, it’s nothing all that special. He’s still going though. I might as well ignore him whilst I eat my two normal and two Big Fat Chicken tacos. Fuck it, I’ll send something.

Teh Bubba: her LJ is friends only…homo fool
sm4shy: regardless
sm4shy: its about the chat

Sigh…I shouldn’t have done that. Oh well, let’s keep going.

Teh Bubba: what about it?
sm4shy: sm4shy: did you happen to see on liz’s LJ that she chatted one day and did the MSN webcam thing the whole day before realizing she was in a tshirt and underwear only?
Teh Bubba: so?
sm4shy: did you get to enjoy that?
Teh Bubba: eating

I was eating!

sm4shy: yeah so?
Teh Bubba: did i get to enjoy what? i don’t understand you
sm4shy: ARE YOU RETARDED?
sm4shy: can you READ what i wrote?
Teh Bubba: i told you..
Teh Bubba: eating
sm4shy: so you are retarded

Not retarded, just hungry like a fat kid that…well…I guess fat kids are always hungry. That’s why they’re fat, right?

Teh Bubba: sm4shy: did you happen to see on liz’s LJ….no, no i didn’t. now, still eating…
Teh Bubba: not to be an asshole or anything,(one should go to hell for such lies…oh well) but when i’m eating i don’t really give a shit about anything else. one more big fat taco, then back to whatever you’re talking about. or not…i’ll put money on that one.
Session Close (sm4shy): Wed Jan 21 06:23:41 2004

So I finish my taco, it’s good shit. Then I sit and drink my…drink, hoping he doesn’t start back up again. Click here, click there, listen to music, get up, walk around. Getting a bit tired, maybe I should go to bed. Or should I?

(intermission)

pangwinking: dont be such a fucking bitch…grow some balls and post you fucking bitch
Teh Bubba: shit, i’m about halfway done…maybe
Teh Bubba: or i just started
Teh Bubba: i dunno
pangwinking: i’m fucking serious asshole…you better post
pangwinking: you fucking dick
pangwinking: hurry up
pangwinking: your the faggiest half strait man i’ve ever talked to
Teh Bubba: that’s zac
Teh Bubba: i’m all gay baby
Teh Bubba: ;-*
pangwinking: oh
pangwinking: zac isn’t halg gay…hes just confused…hes really 100% gay deep inside
pangwinking: half*
Teh Bubba: deep inside…hehehe. i’ve been there, must have caught some gay from deep inside his asshole.
pangwinking: you better have made a post…
Teh Bubba: still writing
pangwinking: fag

(intermission)

*ahem* …Or should I?

Session Start (TehBubba:sm4shy): Wed Jan 21 08:15:12 2004
sm4shy: are you still retarded?

God damn it all to father fucking hell…sigh.

Teh Bubba: i guess
Teh Bubba: why?
sm4shy: DID YOU READ THE REST OF WHAT I WROTE?
sm4shy: that she chatted one day and did the MSN webcam thing the whole day before realizing she was in a tshirt and underwear only
Teh Bubba: yes, i have read it.

I did.

sm4shy: did you happen to catch that little show, by chance?
Teh Bubba: uh….no

I didn’t.

Teh Bubba: why?
sm4shy: it would have been a nice show you retard!
Teh Bubba: ah
Teh Bubba: my niggs
Teh Bubba: *shrug*
sm4shy: yeah, i missed it too
sm4shy: damnit
sm4shy: liz porn!
sm4shy: rubba rubba
Teh Bubba: webcam stuff…bleh.
sm4shy: rubba rubba!
sm4shy: are you justin’s rubba rubba?
sm4shy: he’s mine

Whoa…where the fuck did that come from? I’m weird, but I think I was just bested…a little.

Teh Bubba: what the hell….i don’t expect this kind of behavior from you, old man! sigh…oh well.
sm4shy: rubba rubba!
sm4shy: you ARE his rubba rubba, aren’t you?
sm4shy: theres no shame in it
Teh Bubba: i am no man’s…anything.
Session Close (sm4shy): Wed Jan 21 08:29:58 2004

I had nothing…I lose. Or did I? I then did a hard shutdown, closed the blinds, turned off the lights, locked the doors, grabbed a Pepsi, sat down for a few minutes and drank it while staring at the wall, finished it, walked into the kitchen and threw it away, then I took off speeding across the room and hid under my bed! Whoa…feeling kinda safe now, I guess I’ll just go to sleep. All of a sudden I hear some scuffling on the roof. No big deal, we have stupid fucking cats that go running around on the roof all the time. Back to sleep I go. Then I hear some squealing, like some fatass is trying to get through a half-foot opening in my fireplace. No big deal, we have stupid fucking fat people trying to do that all the time. Back to sleep I go. Then I feel a tug on my leg. Feh. Then I start to get dragged out from under my bed. No big deal, must be the Mano Negra or something. Then my pants get pulled down and I hear somebody tell me they’re going to show me where they’ve been keeping my present all this time…or something; hard to remember, I was having too much fun. It wasn’t Smash though. As it turns out, he was just being weird and creepy…like always. Must have been Santa. See…Santa always gets me something good every year, except for this last year. He must have come to pay his dues…*shrug* Oh I saw the Christmas spirit that day, and I have to say I was genuinely inpressed. Good job Santa, you really filled me with jolliness that day…

(intermission)

pangwinking: do it bitch
pangwinking: you need to post
pangwinking: excesize your right to post
pangwinking: excersize
pangwinking: whatever
Teh Bubba: you!
pangwinking: bite me bitch
Teh Bubba: fat ass
pangwinking: i can’t post like you can post!
Teh Bubba: i can post for you
pangwinking: only if you post first
Teh Bubba: fucking me, i overdo everything…oh well.
pangwinking: post
pangwinking: you think to much
pangwinking: dont think…just post
pangwinking: hurry…post before i go to bed damn it
Teh Bubba: hahaha
Teh Bubba: sleep
Teh Bubba: fucker
pangwinking: no…POST!
pangwinking: post it
pangwinking: just do it
Teh Bubba: just finished..i guess. checking spelling
pangwinking: dont worry about spelling
pangwinking: JUST POST!

(intermission)

The moral of this story kiddies is…uh…it’s not always the weird/creepy guy that’s the threat. Sometimes it’s the ones you’ve grown up with and loved that will…stick things in your ass that resemble giant candy canes. Oh and I need new shoes, so there you have it.

I have no fucking clue how this started or ended, but what’s done is done…and may Keli have mercy on my soul. If she won’t, then I’ll take the next best thing…wetback locho lady from Taco Del.

(about an hour after the last intermission)

pangwinking: you ass…it doesn’t take this long to spell check
Teh Bubba: yeah huh, still tweaking with it.
Teh Bubba: by the way, what the fuck are my posts about?
Teh Bubba: i swear i have no fucking clue
pangwinking: who cares
pangwinking: those are the ebst kind
pangwinking: funny comes from pointless posts
Teh Bubba: people just want porn…oh well
pangwinking: oh god damn it
pangwinking: god fucking damn it
pangwinking: Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.

Apache/1.3.29 Server at thatsjustnotright.com Port 80
pangwinking: son of a bitch
Teh Bubba: gyahahahhaha

(holy shit, that made me laugh)

(more mindless drivel)

pangwinking: you fucking bitch…email the goddamn post to me
Teh Bubba: no, it’s probably not that funny.
pangwinking: i dont give a shit…i’ve been waiting
Teh Bubba: fuck me
Teh Bubba: i don’t know what happened to what i was talking about…
pangwinking: stop making excuses
pangwinking: email it bitch……
pangwinking: i’m sad now…sad and tired
Teh Bubba: haha, i guess i’m done
Teh Bubba: hm…what should the title be
pangwinking: fucking over pangwinking
Teh Bubba: wait..shit….i have to add some of the you crying like a little bitch at the end. hohoho!
pangwinking: i dont care…just finish it!

(and so I did!)