Lack of sleep.

Or lack of a proper sleeping schedule i would say. I just took a look at myself in the mirror and noticed that my eyes were red. I mean, like red from them not being closed for long. Or not closed long enough.

Wait, isn’t that the same thing?

Anyway, what i’m meaning to say is that i have red eyes because i have a fucked up sleeping schedule. And i permanently look like i’m high or weed or something. I’ve gotten that a lot. People coming up to me, looking at my eyes and going, “Dude, you look stoned”. And then i have to explain to them how my eyes pretty much like that all the time because i don’t sleep very well.

It’s not like they’re completely red or anything… not like something out of some horror movie… no. They’re just red in the way… like when you just got up from sleep. And your eyes are all red and stuff. In that way.

Of course, my eyes aren’t ALWAYS permanently red. That would just be freaky. But just as i was looking in the mirror today, i noticed that they were red.

Of course, it could just be the fact that i’d just woken up at the time. But i thought i’d make it out to seem like my eyes are red all the time. For dramatic effect. Oh an by the way, i’m typing out this post offline and i’ll probably be posting it up later in the day. It’s about 8:30am-ish right now. So yeah. There might be some disrepancies time wise and subject wise by the time you get to read this post.

So my sleeping schedules fucked up and i’m asleep during the day and awake during the night. I’m practically running on Florida time. Which exactly 12 hours behind from where i am right now. Meaning that if i was in Florida right now, it’d be 8:30pm.

But i’m in Malaysia and it’s 8:30am. And i haven’t slept a peep all night. Well actually i did but it was only like for half an hour. Then my farting roommate came in to my room and we had anal sex.

I’m just kidding of course. He just wanted to watch The Princess Bride. And i couldn’t get back to sleep. Mostly because i decided i wanted to watch The Princess Bride too.

I love that movie. It’s such a classic. I once had a running joke on my site where i would go “Inconceivable!” at every conceivable moment.

It wasn’t very funny.

I was talking to Stephanie last night on AIM. And we got into this small discussion about the running jokes on my site. It was a really small discussion. I didn’t really go that far into it but she did acknowledge the fact that she noticed a theme of running jokes running through my site.

I just re-read that last sentence up there and realized how it barely makes any sense.

Anyway, i thought i’d just talk about some of the running jokes i’ve had on this site. Because well… i can’t think of anything else to write about right now. In fact, i’m just basically typing out everything that i’m thinking about as i go along.

And that last sentence barely makes sense either.

Anyway, i’d hate to quell your impression of how much bad taste i have when it comes to women but yes, the whole Kirsten Dunst infatuation thing, which has been going on for quite some time now, is indeed just a joke. The joke being that Kirsten Dunst is just ‘alright’ and nothing really much to obsess over. And yet i consider her to be the God’s greatest gift to guys and obsess about her like a very obsessed man.

Not to say that i don’t really like Kirsten Dunst. Hell no. I fucking love her. She’s hot beyond belief. I want to see her naked boobies. So very badly. God, why didn’t they go ahead and make crazy/beautiful have an R rating? That movie was supposed to have Kirsten Dunst nudity! I mean, fucking hell, did you seen her in that scene where she’s in that dark room BRALESS and wearing this tighter than tight t-shirt?? PHWOAR! I mean, look at this!! So close yet so far!!

You know, now that i think about it, i don’t really think this Kirsten Dunst thing’s a running joke at all. She really IS God’s greatest gift to guys!

Or to me at least.

Okay, maybe i can try pointing out other running jokes that’ve been on the site. Like… ah yes. The hit whoring.

The hit whoring’s a running joke too. I actually don’t really care about my hits. I don’t.

Oh alright alright. I’ll try pointing out ANOTHER running joke that’s really a running joke and not something that’s for real like my obsession for Kirsten Dunst’s tits. I mean Kirsten Dunst. And hits.

Okay Kirsten Dunst’s tits and hits.

Actually forget about me pointing out my running jokes. Let’s talk about hits. And Osama bin Laden. Well, as you know, my site’s been taken off Google’s Osama bin Laden search index thing. Meaning that if you were you type in ‘Osama bin Laden naked’, my site wouldn’t show up on their list. Which really really sucks. Because i took great pleasure in refreshing my stats every 10 minutes just to see all the fucked up search referrals i was getting by the minute from people searching for Osama bin Laden this and Osama bin Laden that… only to be tricked into visiting my site and finding nothing at all in relation to what they were looking for.

Instead they just found lots of naked women and some really bad weblogging.

I guess it’s pretty pointless to mention Osama bin Laden on the site now. Since i probably won’t be getting anymore hits off his name. Since fucking Google took my site off their index AGAIN. I mentioned yesterday how they screwed me over with the Zhang Ziyi and Afroman search referrals i was getting a coupla months ago. How they did the exact same thing they’re doing to me now. Taking my site off so that that it wouldn’t show up under those searches.

But no matter. It’s not like they took my site entirely off their database. I’m still getting Libby Hoeler search referrals and the usual fucked up ones like ‘visible panty line’ and ‘preteen lesbian sex’. Which, of course, i don’t even have on the site.

All i have is just lots of naked women and some really bad weblogging.

The bad weblogging part comes into play with the fact that i don’t actually blog that much. I mean, sure, i post a lot but most of the time, the posts have precious little to do with my actual life. And not having a life doesn’t really help either.

There isn’t really much i can write about in terms of what i do everyday. It’s usualy just the same old thing. Every single day. Sometimes i feel like Bill Murray in that movie Groundhog day.

I wake up. I go to class. I go online. I sleep. Rinse, lather and repeat.

Of course, that’s just a very basic pattern and i do partake in all the other smaller day to day routines like eating, shitting, going to the mall etc etc. Usually when i’m not too busy waking up, going to class, going online and sleeping.

There’s also the odd occasion where i actually do deviate from said basic pattern and actually go out.

*shock*

Like actually go out and have a social life. But that only happens once in a blue moon. The last time being when i went out on that pseudo date with Susan. And when i went to my farting roommates sister’s birthday party thing at Pizza Hut. If you can call that ‘going out’.

Actually it’s not that i don’t have a life. It’s just that i’m too lazy to put in the effort to have one. Certainly not here in Malaysia because i know i’m not gonna be here for that long. With my raison d’etre being that i don’t wanna get too attached to any friends that i know i’m not gonna be seeing much of once i leave for Michigan. It’s like, well… think of it this way.

You’re single and you have two months left before you head off to another country. Would you wanna start a relationship with someone then? Knowing that it’s probably gonna be worthless in the end because you know it won’t follow through too well once you leave? Would you wanna put any effort into something that you know wouldn’t last?

Well it’s something like that.

Actually that’s a pretty bad analogy to use for that situation… but it does fit well for this one question that Stephanie was asking me last night. About why i’m not in a relationship right now. With someone over here in Malaysia that is.

So yes. Lack of life = lack of real blogs. Which is why i always have to resort to posting up filler material. Like my e-mails. Or just writing about nonsensical stuff like DVD’s and girls. And on the ever so odd ocassion, attempting to pull off really bad jokes. Like that Rachel Leigh Cook forehead joke down there.

Actually i’m surprised that people even found that funny.

So yes, that’s one of the reasons why i don’t really blog that much. I post a lot but i don’t blog as much. In fact, i post more than most people even care to read.

But that’s another story.

Thess has always been a big inspiration for me to try harder with this site. And every few months or so, or every few weeks at times, she would just IM me and scold the crap out of me for not trying hard enough. 🙂

To actually blog more and post less crap. And to put up better smut. Or not put smut up at all. It fluctuates. She can be fickle.

I love reading her site. I check it out everyday. In fact, i check it out everyday, multiple times a day. Just to see if there’s any new updates. Even though i KNOW that she only updates like 3 times a week. If she had a hit counter, i’d probably be like number one on her top referrers list. Reading her site and reading about how her week went, what she did, the people she interacts with etc etc… kinda fills in the empty gaps in my life.

Actually i don’t even know what i’m trying to say with that last sentence but yeah, reading her site and reading about her life… it just, somehow, fills in the blanks. So to speak. Maybe not the blanks in my life excatly but just… some blanks. It’s kinda hard to explain. ‘Empty gaps in my life’ was the first thing i thought of so yeah, empty gaps it shall be. Even though it’s probably nothing at all like what i’m actually meaning to say.

And it’s not necessarily just with her site either. The same goes for other sites that i follow religiously. Another site being Zia’s for example. I read her site and sometimes i feel like crying. Yes. I feel like crying because of how funny she is and she can write about the most mundane details of her life to become the most funniest thing you’ve ever read. Like who would’ve thought installing a Law Dictionary thing on your site to be so funny?

Okay, maybe i just have a weird sense of humor but i found it funny as hell.

It helps that she also has family members and people around to provide her with a starting point for things to blog about. Incestuous brothers, favored sisters, certain misters… amongst other people.

Me? I only have myself. My friends aren’t at all that very interesting and my parents are piss boring.

Oh wait.

I could tell you about how my mom SMSed me, from BANGKOK of all places, this morning, asking me what my shoe size was… but come on now. That’s just not worth talking about.

And what the hell is my mom doing in Bangkok anyway?? How come i didn’t know about that?? Seriously. Nobody ever tells me anything.

Sometimes i wonder what it would be like to have a brother or a sister. If i had any, i’d probably have a lot more anecdotes i’d be able to share with you on the site. But alas, i’m an only child.

*violins playing*

Boo hoo hoo.

Not many people know this, that i’m an only child and all, but if you’ve been reading this far down the post, soon, you will know something else too. I’m actually supposed to have sister. And if she were alive right now, she’d probably be like… 22 or 23. But she died when she was 12 months old or something due to fatal complications in her intestines. This was all before i was born though. I don’t really know too much about her and i’ve never really asked my parents about her either. I only found out about those facts, about how she died, when i accidently stumbled across her death certificate one day while i was rummaging through some files. This was like… probably 11 years ago now i think. She shared the same name as Dexter’s sister from that cartoon show. You know… Dexter’s Laboratory.

There have been times where i’ve just sat and wondered what it would have been like if she were still around. I’d probably annoy the hell out of her and we’d probably be fighting over who gets to use the phone… or the internet… or the bathroom. I’d probably be hitting on her friends that she’d be bringing over and doing dastardly things like i dunno. Snapping her bra strap or whatever. Doing whatever it is that annoying brothers do to big sisters. I wouldn’t know because i don’t have a big sister.

It would be really great if she could be anything like what Zia is like. I’d love to have a sister like Zia.

Kind of a melodramatic way to end a post don’t you think?