This article is such bullshit. Everybody knows girls don’t really exist on the internet. They don’t visit this site and they definitely don’t play videogames, that’s for sure.

The ‘chick’ who wrote this article – probably a guy. And that picture probably isn’t even ‘her’.

You’re not fooling anyone ‘Whitney’!

But if you really are a girl, omg pics, now.

35 thoughts on “GIRLZ DON’T EXIST ON TEH INTARWEB!!!!1

  1. Woooo first?

    girls + video games = win… so long as they can hold their own

    #1 | Comment by daniel — November 8, 2005 @ 1:41 am

  2. “Whitney’s” last name is Butts.


    #2 | Comment by AngelBaby — November 8, 2005 @ 2:58 am

  3. who let her out of the kitchen?
    next thing she’ll want to vote… no wait..

    #3 | Comment by yawn — November 8, 2005 @ 4:31 am

  4. people aren’t real on the internets. Unless you have photos and video of you doing internet realted things you could be anyone.

    For instance I am a transexual, Irish/Hispanic, lesbian dwarf with a masters degree in Philosophy.

    Or maybe I’m Jessica Biel.

    true dat.

    #4 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — November 8, 2005 @ 5:05 am

  5. that article talks a lot about her not wanting to show her pics and yet there’s pictures of her plastered all over the pages. what a crock of shit!

    #5 | Comment by Justin — November 8, 2005 @ 5:13 am

  6. The number one reason why girls don’t play video games.

    – they can get laid instead

    #6 | Comment by parlayplayr — November 8, 2005 @ 5:19 am

  7. #2 is not a girl.

    #6 is right on the money.

    #7 | Comment by kiko — November 8, 2005 @ 5:35 am

  8. #7 is dumb.

    #8 | Comment by AngelBaby — November 8, 2005 @ 5:39 am

  9. Holy crap, Jessica Biel is here!

    #9 | Comment by ninbw — November 8, 2005 @ 5:39 am

  10. #8 prove me wrong.

    #10 | Comment by kiko — November 8, 2005 @ 5:52 am

  11. I want to see a full-size version of kiko’s avatar so bad, but it continues to elude me.

    Hi Jessica. I saw Stealth. It stank.

    #11 | Comment by Nerima — November 8, 2005 @ 5:57 am

  12. #10 don’t you know that girls on the intarweb only send pics to other girls for purposes of hooking up and exploring our latent bi-curious natures?


    #12 | Comment by AngelBaby — November 8, 2005 @ 5:57 am

  13. #4 – I’m Jessica Biel, you’re an impostor!!

    And I’m here with my girlfriends Scarlett Johanson and Amanda Bynes. We’ve all just given each other hot oil body massages and compared our breasts. I like Scarlett’s(they’re bigger and firmer than mine;so jealous), but Amanda’s are so perky, and so soft, too. I’ll bet she would look so HOT in a pink wig.

    After our pillow fight and seeing which one of us can put the whole cucumber down our throats, we’re just going to put on our nighties and talk about our first time(you know, doing it). Then we’ll make some corn beef sandwiches and play video games. We’re almost done playing Shadow of Colossus. Amanda almost cried near the end. I said, ‘Don’t cry, Amanda, only gay men cry playing video games.’

    Why aren’t there more girls out there playing? Girls rock!

    Love You!

    #13 | Comment by Smiley — November 8, 2005 @ 5:58 am

  14. #12 Dammit!…err…Wait a minute…I’m a girl looking to explore my lesbian side. My hunger for young juicy pussy grows every day. Send me pics. Nudie pics. I’ll not share them with anyone. I promise. PLEASE!!!

    #11 I only have a small pic of my avatar. I could send it to you in exchange for a pic of your hot sister. 😉

    #14 | Comment by kiko — November 8, 2005 @ 6:19 am

  15. I ate four string cheese sticks earlier today, and have so persistent flatulence. THAT is real.

    #15 | Comment by SheepDog — November 8, 2005 @ 6:35 am

  16. #13 I am a scientist who has a purely professional interest in veiwing the interactions of drop dead gorgeous bisexual women.

    Please send tapes!

    (looking very sincere)
    Its true!

    #16 | Comment by Randy — November 8, 2005 @ 7:19 am

  17. she didn’t say pwned so she could be a girl.

    #17 | Comment by bowwow — November 8, 2005 @ 7:38 am

  18. I’ve got 5 or 6 chicks in my raiding guild. Most of them are married though, so they don’t really count. But I think a few are single. No pics though.

    To be fair, I would guess most of the guys who play WoW would not want to hand pictures of their chubby, chemical cheese stained selves over to a gaggle of anonymous girls for evaluation and commentary.

    (got my LB helm and spaulders this weekend, woot)

    #18 | Comment by Josiwe — November 8, 2005 @ 8:11 am

  19. Yeah, sorry about Stealth guys. I thought it was a Splinter Cell movie from the title. I’m a huge gamer in my spare time. I played Mario Kart at a friend’s hous last year and it was really fun. LOL! I don’t have much time to play many games due to my acting and being hte sexiest woman alive.

    I saw Halo and it looked cool, I’ll probably buy an xbox when that comes out.


    #19 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — November 8, 2005 @ 8:21 am

  20. #14 – I already have a small pic of your avatar. It’s called your avatar.

    #19 – I think about your boobs a lot.

    #12 – I think about your boobs a lot.

    #20 | Comment by Nerima — November 8, 2005 @ 8:37 am

  21. Thanks. I think about my boobs a lot as well.

    Chris calls them my 9th Heaven. LOL!


    #21 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — November 8, 2005 @ 8:53 am

  22. I’m a girl.

    #22 | Comment by guy — November 8, 2005 @ 9:20 am

  23. #13- I wish I was a girl.

    #19- There’s an xbox now?

    And get off Whitney’s back, she’s nice. If all the girls on the intraweb were like her (and Angelbaby) then dorky guys wouldn’t need to have pics for proof. They would just realize the girl playing with them was cute and smart and a real person.

    Almost forgot-

    #23 | Comment by amandalvr — November 8, 2005 @ 10:03 am

  24. Justin. do you go to LUE?

    #24 | Comment by Kevin — November 8, 2005 @ 10:50 am

  25. LOL. It’s sort of true that a certain percentage of the internet freaks out when they realize they’re playing an honest-to-god chick. I get to witness it fairly frequently because the UT clan I hang out with has a bunch of girls in it (okay, that’s partly because it’s a social clan not a raging rank-climing 1337 killer squad). Pretty funny though…

    Actually it drives a helluvalot of traffic to the clan site, too! 🙂

    #25 | Comment by heavyboots — November 8, 2005 @ 11:24 am

  26. Amanda Bynes is hot..

    Hot as in fucking ugly.

    #26 | Comment by UncleMao — November 8, 2005 @ 11:46 am

  27. Dear Whitney,

    You are too fucking stupid to realize guys could careless if you are actually a girl, they do this to get pictures out of you, and look, IT FUCKING WORKED YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT.

    #27 | Comment by michler — November 8, 2005 @ 12:47 pm

  28. id bang him

    #28 | Comment by arizonajay — November 8, 2005 @ 12:59 pm

  29. Why the fuck am I first person to ask what The Escapist is?

    #29 | Comment by cendive — November 8, 2005 @ 1:34 pm

  30. Justin, I have to say I am a girl who loves your site! The reason why some girls (or guys) don’t like your site is because they take you seriously or are easily offended. They shouldn’t even be online, for that matter. Anyways, keep up the goodwork.

    #30 | Comment by Elle — November 8, 2005 @ 2:36 pm

  31. Elle, pics, now, thanks.

    #31 | Comment by Billy — November 8, 2005 @ 2:41 pm

  32. hey all im a girl too and yes girls do exist on the internet…is there a rule somewhere that i missed that said its only for fat smelly middle aged men playing computer games? haha 😛 cute chicks know that computer games exist too u know! cs is a religion amongst my mates!

    #32 | Comment by MissyMoo — November 8, 2005 @ 9:52 pm

  33. apparently, Elle the Burberry Brunette rocks a PowerBook. I like her already… ^_^

    I just got a new one the other week.


    #33 | Comment by AngelBaby — November 8, 2005 @ 10:52 pm

  34. I am girl. Hear me roar.

    I played CS for a long time, and now I’m addicted to Ragnarok.. I bet I could pwn any of you n00bs.

    And, personally.. I think I’m pretty hot for a computer nerd.

    Search on myspace for some pics.

    #34 | Comment by Kim — November 9, 2005 @ 10:16 am


    #35 | Comment by Elle — November 9, 2005 @ 11:54 am

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