Boys are weird (and horny)

So in the comments of the Kylie post, Xan mentions this Teddy Babes place. I’m all “hmm…never heard of that…*click*” And then I’m transported into a creepy world of $700 stuffed toys for guys who can’t get a real girl into their beds. I mean, this is the strangest thing I’ve seen since Shower Boobs.

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Perhaps the most unique and unusual feature of your Teddy Babe is her vaginal entry point; complete with simulated pubic hair and an ultra-silky plush insert, or as we like to call it, “Pussy Velour.”

wtf Pussy Velour??? I suppose I should just be thankful there is no “anal entry point” or as they would probably like to call it, “Pooper Velour.”

It is also a perfect love doll traveling companion, fitting easily into a reasonably sized suitcase.

omg please, please, please let me be in the security line at an airport when they search some loser’s luggage and find one of these folded in half stuffed inside. That would be all kinds of awesome. FTW.

Here’s the best part of their sales pitch though…

Because it’s a plush character, as well as a work of art unto itself, Teddy Babes are not typically perceived as sex dolls or adult sex toys, but as cute and sexy novelties; and women especially seem to find them attractive.

HAHAHAHA!! Yeah, every girl I know would totally think a guy who had one of these “works of art” sitting in a chair at his place was hot stuff. I don’t even know whose clothes we would tear off first, his or the doll’s. I promise you, no female would run screaming for your front door…cross my heart.

47 thoughts on “Boys are weird (and horny)

  1. Second.

    I’m getting me one of these ASAP! The wife will love it, for sure.

    #1 | Comment by TGM — July 12, 2007 @ 8:48 am

  2. why are you promoting this guys shit?

    #2 | Comment by sammy — July 12, 2007 @ 9:10 am

  3. Do they support the standard Fleshlight insert? I mean if I knew of such a thing, would it work with this? Boo yeah! Real world silent anime party time.

    #3 | Comment by Kewtr — July 12, 2007 @ 9:16 am

  4. hey hey….i found this on some dudes blog. i foget what i was googling, but this is what came up in google images.

    theres his weird ass blog…

    http://populationpaste.com/blog/2006/05/

    #4 | Comment by Xan — July 12, 2007 @ 10:01 am

  5. p.s.

    this is the funniest post ive ever read. although you think jade raymond>jessica chobot. this post makes up for it.

    #5 | Comment by Xan — July 12, 2007 @ 10:03 am

  6. ^^^
    hey…when did i say i thought jade > chobot? you’ve got me confused with Justin. girls who lick get my vote over girls who game.

    ps. that guy’s blog you gave the link to is highly disturbing, i couldn’t scroll more than halfway down the first page.

    #6 | Comment by AngelBaby — July 12, 2007 @ 10:08 am

  7. That blog site is totally disturbing, omg my eyes 🙁

    As for the teddy babes, I can understand the need for something human size to cuddle, if someone is lonely. I can understand the need for a sex doll if someone is desperate. But combining the two seems a little strange, especially as presumably they are absorbant, they’d smell/rot fairly quickly I would imagine?! Eww

    #7 | Comment by thiessen — July 12, 2007 @ 10:45 am

  8. So is this another thing that I’m supposed to believe is real?

    I know it’s fun to play with my egullibility and all, but this is stretching it pretty hard.

    #8 | Comment by Seriously — July 12, 2007 @ 10:59 am

  9. LOLx10

    yeah, i gagged at that dudes blog as well.

    i wonder if those dolls are HOV safe? or if you can claim then on your taxes? oh, if i read correctly, that…pussy pouch thing is removable and washable…ugh.

    #9 | Comment by Xan — July 12, 2007 @ 11:20 am

  10. Those plush dolls are huge smelly semen sponges. Pay 700 to fuck fabric. Tear a hole in your couch and fuck it. Same thing.

    #10 | Comment by RealDoll — July 12, 2007 @ 11:50 am

  11. Sure… Women think sex toys are EVIL and CREEPY if men use them, yet they all have plastic cocks under their matresses. Kind of self serving, isn’t it? We’re supposed to stay use our hands while they have a whole set of power tools to get them off. Fucking hypocrites.

    #11 | Comment by soul — July 12, 2007 @ 12:24 pm

  12. Wow, that blog is fucking creepy. Sure, sex dolls are one thing. What’s with the pig chicks and gay aryan man?

    #12 | Comment by soul — July 12, 2007 @ 12:27 pm

  13. #11. i was wating for someone to say that,lol.

    #13 | Comment by Xan — July 12, 2007 @ 1:06 pm

  14. Yes, this is much better than having a ScarJo spotlight. Sigh…

    #14 | Comment by Tim — July 12, 2007 @ 2:18 pm

  15. “Teddy Babes love dolls do not feature oral or anal entries.”

    DONT WANT.

    #15 | Comment by Bill Clay — July 12, 2007 @ 2:29 pm

  16. Creepy sex doll, goes great with the dead hookers in that blog guys basement.

    100% recycled hobo parts.

    #16 | Comment by Zleet — July 12, 2007 @ 2:37 pm

  17. yikes.

    #17 | Comment by yawn — July 12, 2007 @ 3:29 pm

  18. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fuck Miss Piggy, now I can find out!

    #18 | Comment by The Pope — July 12, 2007 @ 5:24 pm

  19. What 11 said. This is no different from a dildo for chrissakes. Get over it. People masturbate with toys. Sorry you like your plain vanilla sex missionary-style with the lights off.

    #19 | Comment by Jobs — July 12, 2007 @ 5:50 pm

  20. why was i confronted with this post when i just came here for some (hopefully) hot new pics? i dont visit this site to here girls rambling about how creepy guys can be

    #20 | Comment by john — July 12, 2007 @ 6:30 pm

  21. ^^^
    doll owner.

    #21 | Comment by AngelBaby — July 12, 2007 @ 6:43 pm

  22. Just as weird…

    (from RealDoll website)
    Question: What sort of people buy REALDOLL?

    REALDOLL customers include futurists, artists, art collectors, film-makers, scientists, health professionals, housewives — you name it. There simply isn’t just one type of REALDOLL customer! We provide REALDOLLs to single men, couples seeking to enhance their sex lives, people looking for exotic decorative art, adult retailers who want the ultimate display mannequin, or anyone who desires to possess the world’s most realistic love doll (for whatever reason).
    http://www.realdoll.com/

    #22 | Comment by sukebe — July 12, 2007 @ 7:37 pm

  23. The best part of that realdoll site is that they have a shemale upgrade

    #23 | Comment by zomg — July 12, 2007 @ 8:23 pm

  24. OHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD WHAT THE FUCK OHHHH MYYYY GODDDD WHAT THE FUCKKKK I MEAN I UHH WHA HUH ?????????????????????

    #24 | Comment by the cumbucket from hell named chuck norris — July 12, 2007 @ 8:47 pm

  25. Teddy Babes for cheapskates.

    Real dolls are where it’s at. Particularly this one:
    http://www.realdoll.com/sample13.asp

    Prepare to be freaked out

    #25 | Comment by Tony — July 12, 2007 @ 8:55 pm

  26. those things are pretty wild.

    #26 | Comment by Xan — July 12, 2007 @ 9:27 pm

  27. waugh!

    #27 | Comment by mayhem — July 12, 2007 @ 10:45 pm

  28. ^^^ Yeah what he said. Seriously disturbing post.

    #28 | Comment by Disgust — July 13, 2007 @ 4:09 am

  29. Actuall if I had money to chuck around I’d consider buying a realdoll for when the wifes away, the only one that looks vaguely like her is “Jenny”. I’ve just wasted too waay much time checking out that site.

    #29 | Comment by thiessen — July 13, 2007 @ 5:26 am

  30. I feel bad… AB seems to be very threatened by these dolls… I guess she is jealous and wishes she had an ulta-silky plush insert 😉

    #30 | Comment by MIK — July 13, 2007 @ 6:57 am

  31. I’d hit it…

    #31 | Comment by GOB Bluth — July 13, 2007 @ 7:05 am

  32. Found this at FOB Productions…

    Realdoll at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo 2007
    http://www.fobpro.com/photos/avn0704/avn0704f0309.php

    #32 | Comment by sukebe — July 13, 2007 @ 7:52 am

  33. #30; awe, thats messed up.

    #33 | Comment by Xan — July 13, 2007 @ 8:38 am

  34. LOL, this is the funniest / sickest / funniest / disturbing / funniest post on the net today!

    AB: Would it be possible for you provide me with a picture and your dimensions so that I may have a Teddy Babe made in your likeness?

    hahahahahahahaha

    #34 | Comment by MacDaddy — July 13, 2007 @ 10:21 am

  35. you could prolyl just carve her out of a block of wood. BWAHAHAHAHA

    #35 | Comment by Xan — July 13, 2007 @ 10:22 am

  36. People interested in the Real Doll technology should watch the TV show Nip/Tuck. One of the characters is a porn star & she was marketing a Real Doll in her likeness. A couple of the male characters umm…”checked it out” to see if it was an accurate likeness.

    #36 | Comment by Hellfyre — July 13, 2007 @ 10:36 am

  37. Whacking it with your own hand is kind of gay if you think about it. You are stroking a cock! Ha ha! HOMO GAAAAAY!

    Fucking a doll is HETERO. You’re putting your penis in a FEMALE. (Doll.)

    #37 | Comment by nerima — July 13, 2007 @ 11:25 am

  38. well well well, how the tide has turned.

    #38 | Comment by Xan — July 13, 2007 @ 2:10 pm

  39. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jypg2tf_9sc

    There’s your ScarJo!!!

    #39 | Comment by Xan — July 13, 2007 @ 4:12 pm

  40. Thanks, and this is awesome ScarJo I found there too.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yixpxYDqvek

    #40 | Comment by Tim — July 13, 2007 @ 5:51 pm

  41. ^^^
    that scene is awesome. way better fake orgasm than Meg in Harry Met Sally.

    Scarlett threw in the uncontrollable eye squeezing and catches in her breathing which makes me think she might come a lot like that in real life…you go with what you know, right?

    >_>

    #41 | Comment by AngelBaby — July 13, 2007 @ 8:06 pm

  42. that would be awesome if they really cut the scene cause he was actually fingering her. XD

    #42 | Comment by Xan — July 13, 2007 @ 8:16 pm

  43. I notice AB Didn’t deny it 😉

    #43 | Comment by MIK — July 13, 2007 @ 10:44 pm

  44. Dude, I swear the blonde on the left is checking me out!

    #44 | Comment by Evil Monkey — July 14, 2007 @ 12:35 am

  45. #40 – Awesome scene. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to contact that actor in that clip and see if I can sniff his fingers.

    #45 | Comment by Smiley — July 14, 2007 @ 5:36 am

  46. BLOG THIS!

    http://www.ultimatesurrender.com

    #46 | Comment by Xan — July 14, 2007 @ 1:53 pm

  47. a follow to this post.

    this shit is fucking ridiculous

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3710987618964917848

    #47 | Comment by Xan — July 18, 2007 @ 12:14 am

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