I’m too fat. I know I always post about it; it’s really the basis of my every thought on this site, but I just can’t get over it. I am way too fat. I wish I wasn’t fat. If I wasn’t too fat, my life would be happy, but alas, I am too fat. SADNESS. 🙁

Also, my boobs are too small. Everyone else in this world has big boobs but me. Every girl. I walk down the street, and people scream in dismay; I had one lady ask me if they had ever caught the person who’d stolen my boobs. I think Friffboy has more of a rack than I do, my boobs are so small. I should write some sort of angsty poem about this matter, as it deeply concerns me.

I wish I had a picture handy to post of a hot girl that I hate. Ooh, we’ll pick Stal. Not that she’s a bad writer, since her site was great, and she certainly is incredibly sexy on many levels, but NO. Hate hate hate hate hate. I hereby forbid you all to click any and all links to her pictures. In fact, turn OFF the ability to view pictures in your browser, because since I hate her, you can’t look at her.


Jon: I hope your computer crashes and dies, and you have to reformat, thus losing all of your gay porn and satanic lesbian nun tentacle fucking. You are LAME. “Whenever I needed a dose of manliness…” If you really need a dose of manliness, you could always run down to the nearest truckstop and wait in the bathroom with your pants down, bent over.

“less chicky posts, more manly posts. WAY less Ellen Feiss, WAY more fine-ass broads.” You are so lame.

39 thoughts on “YADDA YADDA YADDA

  1. first post! but i like chicks with small boobs….there cute

    #1 | Comment by dandamack — December 6, 2002 @ 11:47 am

  2. small boobs are beter than overly huge boobs. they are cute at times. you could get implants

    #2 | Comment by Ikke — December 6, 2002 @ 12:05 pm

  3. "Less chick, more dick."

    Gross, why did he write that? This isn’t the site for teh penis, unless you scroll down a bit. Still…

    How can a fat chick have no boobs? It’s not possible yo.

    #3 | Comment by Bubba — December 6, 2002 @ 12:07 pm

  4. Thess: <3 X 2000

    #4 | Comment by eve — December 6, 2002 @ 12:51 pm

  5. First-

    Thess, you are not fat… your a beautiful inteligent young woman. MANY people would kill to be in your place…


    Your "Boobs" arent small… (Not that i spend much time looking at your boobs)And as a matter of fact, I find big breasts to be unatractive…

    (Thess- I understood the joke in that post, i was just playing the game)

    #5 | Comment by Quijotes_Leprous — December 6, 2002 @ 12:58 pm

  6. Hahaha, I love the fact that you have to add the
    (Thess- I understood the joke in that post, i was just playing the game) I remember last time nobody got the joke. I don’t remember what it was about though, what was it? Was it about you wanting to jump Robert Smith’s bones? No wait, that one’s true right? Shit….I’m all confused. =\

    #6 | Comment by Bubba — December 6, 2002 @ 1:40 pm

  7. Ah Thess, at first I missed the joke. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately and I tend to skim something before I actually read it. I thought you had been smacked upside the head with a brick. I was quite frightened. I feel better now though, thanks. <3 Thess!

    #7 | Comment by Seriously — December 6, 2002 @ 1:45 pm

  8. You guys are such liars. Well gere I am to speak the truth.

    1)less chick – who doesn’t want that? Who truly, really believably, loves a fat woman?
    We all want less chick. Not as less chick as Thess, who is just too damn skinny.

    2) more dick – come on. we all want more dick. Like not up the ass or anything, but I certainly wouldn’t mind a couple inches more.

    So stop lying and say it after me. LESS CHICK/MORE DICK!!!!!

    #8 | Comment by discommode — December 6, 2002 @ 1:47 pm

  9. how about no?

    Thess, they may not be much, but you can have my boobs.

    #9 | Comment by Susan — December 6, 2002 @ 2:07 pm

  10. ummm…suzi, i’ll take your boobs. and as far as it not being possible for a fat chick not to have boobs, u’re very wrong. one of the fattest chicks in high school, she was called the hamburglar cuz her name kind of sounded like that, she had not tits. just these 2 tiny little triangles that stuck out. they didn’t move. they were the only part of her body that didn’t jiggle. oh i miss the hamburglar……….

    #10 | Comment by gza — December 6, 2002 @ 2:24 pm

  11. by the way the hamburglar died

    #11 | Comment by gza — December 6, 2002 @ 2:25 pm

  12. You can have my boobs too…err..indents. =(

    I do prefer the thin chickadees, but there are some meaty girlies that I would go for. It’s all about the face and attitude. She has to be at least as smart as I (like that’s hard) though.

    As for more dick…nah. Penis is like boobs..sort of. Not that I know personaly what having boobs is like, but I have an idea. I figure they would get in the way a lot, annoying at times. Am I right? Yes, no? I can’t see why girls would want huge annoying boobs. They look good in clothes, but out of the clothes is another story. Pretty big boobs can still be nice, but once they start getting all vainy…not so much.

    Huge boobs = gross
    Big boobs = eh
    Mid boobs = just right
    small boobs = second only to mid
    no boobs = still better than huge

    Now that I look at that lame chart, I think teh penis is the opposite of boobs. Hmm…

    #12 | Comment by Bubba — December 6, 2002 @ 2:27 pm

  13. Bubba-

    It was Brian Molko’s bones I wanted to jump on… I want Robert Smith to give me his hair (I love his hair)

    #13 | Comment by Quijotes_Leprous — December 6, 2002 @ 2:56 pm

  14. Is it just me or was Thess’ post just like all the other ones the Girls of F.U.B.A.R. write around here? It’s the same-old, same-old I hear everyday.

    I think I’ll go to a strip club with my pals to compensate.

    #14 | Comment by Smartass — December 6, 2002 @ 3:29 pm

  15. it’s funny when some retardedly self-conscious girl complains
    -my boobs are too small, nobody likes me-
    and then even funnier when the pussy ass guy crowd comes around to build her up. it’s all for some kind of attention anyway …

    #15 | Comment by ken obsar var — December 6, 2002 @ 3:41 pm

  16. LOL
    Thess <3

    #16 | Comment by Bambi killers still suck — December 6, 2002 @ 4:04 pm

  17. the hamburgaler died…::cries:: that is not cool….RIP hammerson burgermcberg

    #17 | Comment by dandamack — December 6, 2002 @ 4:57 pm

  18. whats with the mass boob exodus?
    "you can have my boobs"
    "ooh me too"
    "oh yeah and uh.."

    "you could get implants" – very reassuring =\

    #18 | Comment by mike — December 6, 2002 @ 5:09 pm

  19. Great post. *yawn*

    #19 | Comment by Carl — December 6, 2002 @ 6:18 pm

  20. lol. go to a truck stop. heh

    #20 | Comment by Amy — December 6, 2002 @ 7:14 pm

  21. It is as if I am witnessing the birth of
    Bridget Jones’ Diary 2: Stop The Bleeding…

    #21 | Comment by bofc — December 6, 2002 @ 7:57 pm

  22. Jon-
    Before your harddrive crashes can you send me some of that "satanic lesbian nun tentacle fucking"?

    #22 | Comment by Jamlink — December 6, 2002 @ 10:09 pm

  23. You know Thess.. on the subject of truck-stops, if you ever need a little sickening amusement (and I mean besides the LESS CHICK/MORE DICK comments)just IM me, I have plenty of second hand stories.

    But other than that, I feel really sorry for anyone who didn’t pick up on the humor and sarcasm in Thess’s post BEFORE reading the comments…

    #23 | Comment by eve — December 6, 2002 @ 10:21 pm

  24. Hey, I said I was tired. Leave off the stressed college boy.

    #24 | Comment by Seriously — December 6, 2002 @ 11:31 pm

  25. If anyone didnt notice, I got the joke… seriously

    #25 | Comment by Quijotes_Leprous — December 6, 2002 @ 11:50 pm

  26. *gasp* I had no idea there were so many stupid people!
    poor geek! *pats his head* there there. I’m sure you’ll grow out of your stupidity. =D

    #26 | Comment by stupid people are scary — December 7, 2002 @ 2:51 am

  27. you should see a pic of thess, she’s pretty hot. The hilarious thing about this tho, is that you still haven’t gotten that this is a joke

    #27 | Comment by Charles — December 7, 2002 @ 3:03 am

  28. Roguegeek: Thank you for contributing to this discussion, you exhibited an astounding display of not only reading comprehension, but also a rapier-sharp wit, and high level of intelligence! (By the way–your page is boring, and your friends are ugly.)

    #28 | Comment by thess — December 7, 2002 @ 5:38 am

  29. Wow. Some people never fail to amaze me. Roguegeek not only proved that he’s an A+ asshole that didn’t pick up a line of humor, he’s also displayed his talents at stabbing himself in the ass and letting his laxative induced shit just reign all over my monitor. Congratulations.

    #29 | Comment by eve — December 7, 2002 @ 5:51 am

  30. justin you are getting unbelievably popular. You just may be on the tonight show sometime soon.

    #30 | Comment by vass — December 7, 2002 @ 9:13 am

  31. Is Thess God?
    Why the Palestinian fervour to attack someone who posts something disadvantageous to her?
    And who gives a shit if he caught the joke or what. Let him post and get on with it.
    That’s just my opinion. I could be wrong and often am….

    #31 | Comment by discommode — December 7, 2002 @ 9:17 am

  32. I attacked because I wanted to impress and get up Thess’s blouse, as roguegeek said. I am in love with Thess. <3 Thess! But, I am no good at flaming, as it turns out, so I'll try to impress her with my fake-smart.
    You're certainly entitled to your opinion, roguegeek, but so are the people (both male and female) that post here. I am just a newbie, but this is the first post I have seen where a girl says that she is too fat, and it was made in sarcasm. I'm sure you got the joke. I'm thinking that what he was referring to the girls that constantly "joke" around about how ugly (or fat) they are, expecting you to correct them, and, actually taking it so far that if you don't contradict them, you look like an ass. Those girls certainly are annoying. But I really don't think that's what Thess was doing. Also, you say that people need to post thought-provoking and interesting topics. I think a blog is for the writers, not the readers. People post about what they want to post about, because they either run the site or are in some sort of membership thingey (that is to say, because they can). And then, of course, people like me comment. Now, as I quasi-flamed before, you aren't forced to read this site. Each post is clearly labeled with the person that wrote it on either the top or the bottom of the post. If you usually don't have a problem with the posts, but this one was just so offensive to you that you had to comment the way you did. Well, that seems a vaguely odd choice. But, you're entitled to your opinion, everyone else is entitled to theirs, and I'm entitled to be an underweight sad talentless loser freak who pines after girls on the internet.

    Of course, now, we're right back where we started.

    #32 | Comment by Seriously — December 7, 2002 @ 11:03 am

  33. Thess, the only reason you put up post about you being fat and ugly is the very same reason EVERY girl says, "I’m too fat." You’re an attention whore fishing for compliments. Looking over some of these comments, it seems as though you succeeded a couple of times. The ones who did write "you’re not fat" are probably over or underweight guys who haven’t had a date for a couple of months now. I’ve never seen a picture of you, but chances are, you probably are fat and ugly. Get over it, think rationally, and start writing something that’s actually interesting! Let me give you a clue as to what that is: Something that provokes thought or discussion. Now with your new found wisdom let’s see how ya do. Good luck to us all…

    #33 | Comment by roguegeek — December 7, 2002 @ 12:07 pm

  34. Umm… I don’t know if Thess is fat or not – but PAY attention to the the wit before pronouncing ‘attention whore’. Or you may end up being judged as a runofthemill A’hole. (bent over at a truckstop for a dose)

    #34 | Comment by raceman — December 7, 2002 @ 12:15 pm

  35. That’s fine if people want to think I’m just another asshole. Here’s the thing about me. I like being brutally honest because you learn a lot more from the honesty than the bs people feed you. The last thing in the world I would want is for someone to give me empty praises (not that anyone would) when it couldn’t be further from the truth. I mean how am I suppose to learn anything from that. Seriously. Constructive criticism is a lot more helpful. I know there’s a fine line between being constructive and being rude. I know that I tend to be rude most of the time and I’m (like everyone else, hopefully) am always working to make myself better. What are you doing?

    #35 | Comment by roguegeek — December 7, 2002 @ 12:33 pm

  36. wasting my time reading your posts… but not bitching about it.

    #36 | Comment by raceman — December 7, 2002 @ 12:41 pm

  37. Why bother going out on a Saturday night when I can stay home and read FUBAR???

    #37 | Comment by embus — December 7, 2002 @ 8:59 pm

  38. at least your boobies aren’t fake like stal’s.. and i don’t think you "touch up" your pics, either. not that it matters really, cuz she fully admitted to doing it. why do all girls think they’re fat though? it sucks :/ i thought i was fat when i was actually skinny. now i think i’m fat and i’m actually fat. no, really. you aren’t fat though, i bet.

    glad you and shawn are doing better 😉

    #38 | Comment by veets — December 12, 2002 @ 8:44 pm

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