now… i am not one to complain, ::snort:: but our little boobie boy here needs a little bit of a talking to. actually… i tried to give him one, but i guess he just forgot everything we discussed yesterday. so here ya go, bebe… in writing, and with all of your little fubarb witnesses to be like “see, biatch! you fucked up again!”
THE RULES, BIATCH!
1. Take Baby Steps
NEVER try to make big, permanent decisions when you are emotionally fucked. Take some time to breathe it in, de-crazify, and clear your head. “It’s only been THREE FUCKING DAYS.”
2. Avoid ALL Stalker Tendencies
Don’t check the email. Don’t check the IM. Don’t call 80 times an hour. Don’t leave lame voicemail messages. DON’T try to get her back. She needs to take baby steps too.
3. Modify Your Vocabulary
Phrases like:
I am stupid! we know this already. Move on.
I made a mistake! no you didn’t. things happen for a reason.
I’m sorry! for what, ass crack? Being yourself?
Are you sure you don’t want to go? Sigh…
I’ll never be like that again! suuuuuuure you won’t.
But I! but you what?
But still! STILL not buying it, fucktard!
But! NO MORE FUCKING BUTS (or butts for that matter)
are just not allowed anymore. deal.
4. Cut Back on the Self Deprecation
Don’t EVER apologize or make excuses for being who you are. We like who you are! YOU should like who you are. Including all your idiosyncrasies! and your page (even if it is on the boink boink boobie level of retarded). End of story. That’s it. NO FURTHER DISCUSSION NECESSARY.
Good luck. You should know by now that you’ve got a ton of little internet people pullin for you. 🙂
hmmm they seem like good rules maybe I’ll try them also sometimes
#1 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — March 27, 2003 @ 3:36 am
huh huh… hey beavis…
huh huh… hey BUT-head
#2 | Comment by beng — March 27, 2003 @ 4:15 am
Kick ass post. Hurrah for Lizzie!
#3 | Comment by Stavros — March 27, 2003 @ 6:14 am
lol.
but but…!!
#4 | Comment by Justin — March 27, 2003 @ 12:34 pm
thanx stavros. that comment distracted me from the sheer embarassment of only getting 4 comments total on my post.
#5 | Comment by lizzie — March 27, 2003 @ 10:15 pm
I so agree with your post. I did the opposite of those rules and it seemed to push her away, but after i loosened up and just backed off, things worked out better than they did before:) Lizzie seems to knwo what the hell she’s talking about!
#6 | Comment by JB — March 27, 2003 @ 10:29 pm
werd. lizzie is greatness.
#7 | Comment by Justin — March 27, 2003 @ 11:12 pm
w00t for little internet people pulling for you!!
#8 | Comment by Naj — March 28, 2003 @ 4:15 am
u need to stop sweating my spelling styleee, justin.
#9 | Comment by lizzie — March 28, 2003 @ 1:32 pm
Regarding point number four, is that directed at Justin or me? I mean it’s got to be Justin, since you said, "we like who you are," but it’s kinda fuzzy, since I really hate who I am, and I’m pretty sure that a lot of the people around here would agree with me, if they actually had any idea who I am.
#10 | Comment by Umgawa — March 28, 2003 @ 11:48 pm
all the rules are directed towards justin, but you could definitely use some work in #4’s department too.
it’s just a guess… but your lack of love for yourself could be the key reason as to why others (as in the female population cough cough) don’t seem to desire anything more than a first date with you. :/
#11 | Comment by lizzie — March 29, 2003 @ 1:14 am