Alright, alright. I realize my last post was awful. I have no idea what possessed me to even post, especially for the first time on FUBAR, a stupid, stupid limerick. I think we all agree it was inane (yes, “inane.” My grammar is for the most part okay).
So, to make it up, I decided to to a post on something pressing in my life for, oh… *looks at watch* about the last four hours. The subject: rebound guys. Now, by posting this on Justin’s site, I’m in no way insinuating that Justin is “on the rebound,” even though some might suggest that it implies Justin. In fact, I currently have a serious interest in a guy that happens to suddenly be on the proverbial rebound, and so it gave me an inspiration for a more interesting and palatable post. I certainly hope that all of you (especially the FUBARettes) at least enjoy it. Now, to business.
As far as I can figure, there are four types of “Rebound Guy”: the fourth appears to not be on the rebound at all, and can also be split into a subgroup of not appearing to be on the rebound, but instantly gets with a girl after a breakup (often for simple companionship, just as often to release some sort of pent-up sexual angst). Therefore, Type Four won’t be discussed in this particular survey, since they’re pretty easy to figure out.
Type One: “Holy Crap, I’m Single Again”
Type One is probably the most similar to Type Four in that they appear – and remember, I said appear – to be completely fine. In front of his friends, he tries his hardest to remain the same guy he always was, but inside his emotions and anguish rend him limb from limb. Type One, unlike Type Four, will feign satisfaction with being single, when in fact he is secretly terrified of it. Type One usually occurs after long relationships, whereas Type Four usually happens after short relationships, or ones that end particularly badly, but in his favor.
Pros: Doesn’t worry his friends, family, or co-workers too much.
Cons: Bottles his emotions, is very needy, needs to find himself, depends too much on relationships to get him through hard times in life. Often emotionally overbearing on women he finds attractive, especially if left untreated after long periods of time.
Type Two: “I Just Need to Talk to Someone Right Now”
Type Two, in my opinion, is a great middle ground as far as Rebound Guys go. Granted, the guy’s pretty fucked up right now and pretty emotional. However, he keeps a level head about the issue, even if his emotions are everywhere, and is able to talk sensibly. This particular type is very stable, even if he seems unstable right now, and is the most likely to heal quickly. He is in harmony with his feelings, and though he knows he might be a little over-emotional with his problems, he doesn’t try to bother everyone with it. He just needs to cry his guts out to SOMEBODY, and he’ll probably choose someone he trusts a lot (if drunk, anyone who’ll listen will do).
[Type 2 b: Like Type Two, he’s got a level head: but don’t expect him to talk about his emotions until long after he’s calmed down. Then, he’ll talk as freely as you please about the issue, but don’t expect him to cry about it in front of you. And you better not tell anyone about what he’s said to you, or you can expect to be having the next conversation with Mr. Baseball Bat.]
Pros: Realizes that breakups happen to everyone, doesn’t blubber, doesn’t skirt the issue, is able to remain in the real world while dealing with his problems; also, if he talks to you it proves he trusts you a lot.
Cons: For a short period, he’s kind of needy. Be there for him and offer him any kind of aid he needs, and he should be okay in no time.
Type Three: “I DEFY YOU STARS!!!” (aka Romeo Syndrome)
Ah, yes. Type Three. He certainly has a flair for drama. He is a great and studious love, but he takes himself and his relationships more seriously than anything. He can be smothering in relationships, since he is so afraid of losing them that he is often to attentive to them. This guy is virtually helpless unless he’s with a significant other, and if he or she leaves it is literally the end of the world. This guy pretty much never takes the time to lick his wounds clean, opting to forget his frustrations by seeking out new partnerships. If he can’t find a partner, he sinks into a deep and often long depression, and pretty much forgets how to act like a human being.
Pros: Very caring and attentive.
Cons: Name it. The guy’s an emotional basket case. He needs the help that only true and honest friends can provide. Friends that won’t encourage him to find a new lover before he learns to love himself.
Okay, cats and kittens. That’s it. I’m tired. I’d like to leave you all with a few simple words:
AVRIL SUCKS, and this layout with Deveigh Chase is awesome. Yay Justin!
wheres type 5.. the guy who goes to hookers when he’s dumped.. or is that just me?
#1 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — April 13, 2003 @ 10:40 am
I’m not even going to ask.
#2 | Comment by Susan — April 13, 2003 @ 10:50 am
I don’t think you can categorize this type of thing for people with a decent dating background. For the younger (teens, etc) who have not had 3+ year relationships, multiple long relationships, slept around a lot, etc those may be good categories, but once you hit about 25 or 26 those groupings tend to break out and up and people learn to deal with life more realistically.
#3 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 13, 2003 @ 11:33 am
That’s very true, Dave, and a good point that I wish I would have brought up: however, this is only the depth of my personal experience. :< I'm so naive.
#4 | Comment by thefelinepunk — April 13, 2003 @ 11:37 am
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO………..BIES!!!
Bring back Avril, I just hurt my hand trying to punch that stupid little girl in the face. You’re not gonna turn MY face into a giant butthole bitch!!!
#5 | Comment by Bubba — April 13, 2003 @ 11:48 am
You mentioned Type 4, but never rambled about it. (?)
#6 | Comment by thess — April 13, 2003 @ 12:39 pm
A Shakespeare reference! We’re not likely to get that in posts from…anyone. (Except maybe in the comments section from dear Alan.)
TFP – I would have liked it even better if you’d simply left the quotation and not bothered to explain for the hoi polloi. 😉
#7 | Comment by RedEye — April 13, 2003 @ 12:51 pm
suzi is still right.
#8 | Comment by uncle pauly — April 13, 2003 @ 1:55 pm
I didn’t know Shakespeare wrote, "Holy crap, I’m single again."
I do know, however, that Daveigh makes me wet myself with fear. Boo…bring back Amanda!
#9 | Comment by Banana — April 13, 2003 @ 2:03 pm
I agree with Banana. bring back amanda.
#10 | Comment by The DaRk SuPeRMaN — April 13, 2003 @ 3:26 pm
what about the stocker type that follows his ex around and makes lots of threats.. thats in no way me but those guys are out there
#11 | Comment by Steve — April 13, 2003 @ 3:32 pm
stocker? heeeeee
stalker
#12 | Comment by Pancho — April 13, 2003 @ 5:14 pm
"I think we all agree it was inane (yes, "inane." My grammar is for the most part okay)." That’s not grammer, that’s syntax. Grammer is punctuation, syntax is word choice and vocab. Looks like you might be stupider than you thought.
#13 | Comment by John — April 13, 2003 @ 5:17 pm
Looks like someone needs to learn how to spell before he decides to insult other people. Proofread your flames BEFORE you post them, John.
#14 | Comment by thess — April 13, 2003 @ 5:43 pm
Did anybody read that whole post? After the first paragraph I stopped.
#15 | Comment by pangwinking — April 13, 2003 @ 7:45 pm
Too long and seemed boring…I couldn’t bring my self to read past the first paragraph.
#16 | Comment by bored — April 13, 2003 @ 7:46 pm
holy shit, I dont know how many of you realized this….but i was just watching the opening credits of the new comedy on fox called "oliver bean"….anyway so olivers best friend on the show is Daveigh Chase…….They dont look a thing alike……yea so now every time i watch Oliver Bean im going to freak out thinking she’s going to come through my tv and as Bubba put it "turn my face into a giant butthole"…hahaha
#17 | Comment by jay — April 13, 2003 @ 8:35 pm
and incase anyone is curious, daveigh’s characters name on the show is "joyce"
#18 | Comment by jay — April 13, 2003 @ 8:46 pm
::blink blink::
#19 | Comment by lizzie — April 13, 2003 @ 10:53 pm
Thess is my hero! <3 Thess! Is she not nifty?
You guys, for the record, are mean and should be ashamed of yourselves.
Psyche!
#20 | Comment by thefelinepunk — April 14, 2003 @ 2:49 am
"Too long and seemed boring…I couldn’t bring my self to read past the first paragraph.
Posted by bored – 7:46pm April 13, 2003"
The difference, "bored", is that I have clearance to post on FUBAR, and you don’t. Har. Har. Har. Like my syntax?! FABULOUS, isn’t it! At least JUSTIN has taste. Gah, you people.
#21 | Comment by thefelinepunk — April 14, 2003 @ 3:59 am
eh I read it, I’m not really into classifying people though. People tend to be too different. The wonderful thing about this website is that if you don’t like the post, you don’t have to read it.
#22 | Comment by charles — April 14, 2003 @ 5:03 am
I finish with gf’s and then realise that I should’ve done it ages ago. The thing that you are missing there is the guy that doesn’t care that he has just split and is quite happy being single – and that isnt just a disguise to cover his hurt.
#23 | Comment by Carl — April 14, 2003 @ 6:18 am
I liked the post, a little long, yes, but a good start… I would like to see what kind of drivel the rest of you would type up if you had the chance. Anyways, Feline, are you a secretary? Cuz if your not, the rest of you shouldn’t give a flying fuck Feline spells correctly, has good grammer, or has proper syntax.. its a freaking blog… get a life people… correcting peoples english is for 10th grade english teachers, not a bunch of nerd wanna-be’s on Justins site.. fuck.. how boring can you be correcting someones typed english.. fuck..
#24 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 14, 2003 @ 9:42 am
*hugs* Dave is my hero, too! Dave and Thess are on MY team.
#25 | Comment by thefelinepunk — April 14, 2003 @ 12:03 pm
You forgot to capitalize English Dave. (hee hee hee, just being stupid =D)
#26 | Comment by Bubba — April 14, 2003 @ 12:19 pm
GRAMMAR.
…
#27 | Comment by thess — April 14, 2003 @ 1:02 pm
No no, grammer, as in gram…er…
#28 | Comment by Seriously — April 14, 2003 @ 1:36 pm
No, no, no. Grammer as in Kelsey Grammer. See, he’s a big fan of him. So, Grammer should be capitalized there Dave.
#29 | Comment by Bubba — April 14, 2003 @ 2:00 pm
I am Canadian, therefore I can mistype anything I want to, its like Ebonics.
I put the letter "u" into words like Neighbour.
grammAr … there are YOU happy now… you made me cry… damn it.. you people are so mean..
Until Justin puts a spell/grammAr checker in, I will make errors all over the fuckin place.. and their ain’t a got dang thing any of you can do about it.
#30 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 14, 2003 @ 2:14 pm
Actually, Thess can.
For your own good; don’t tempt her.
#31 | Comment by Kingolf — April 14, 2003 @ 2:25 pm
I know it… I had forgotten, but now I remember, she is the reason I changed my alias, EVERY comment I made was changed … it sucked ass sooo bad… shes been good lately … with me anyways, maybe she just doesn’t realize who I am … or care.. I wouldn’t care.. .look who I am… I matter not in the grand scheme of life.
#32 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 14, 2003 @ 2:35 pm
Surely not EVERY comment? I’m sorry.
#33 | Comment by thess — April 14, 2003 @ 3:40 pm
Wow do I feel like a FuBaR geek today, every 2nd post is from me… just a boring day at work.
Anyways Thess, yes for about 2 weeks straight every post I made you changed. I used another alias tho,… I was really quite pissed, BUT (notice I have a big BUT there) I had forgotten, until Kingolf reminded me 😉 so I guess all is well.. you haven’t done (that I know of) that to me in eons… I think you had a comment type of fetish going on back then… its all good.. you said you’re sorry.. thats good enough for me, so lets forget that all happened and go out for a fruit smoothy… if you were in Edmonton I would say "my treat"
#34 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 14, 2003 @ 4:39 pm
How disgusting to observe. Licking Thess’ ass. Ugh.
#35 | Comment by Stavros — April 14, 2003 @ 9:38 pm
Yeah well, what’s wrong with that?
#36 | Comment by Seriously — April 14, 2003 @ 11:35 pm
Smoothie.
(I am an awful person.)
#37 | Comment by thess — April 15, 2003 @ 2:40 am