i hate girls.

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they are manipulative, lying, cheating, self-centered little drama queens who just want everyone to pay attention to them. wait. let me re-phrase.

they manipulate boys, lie to girls, cheat their way through everything of substance, are so self-absorbed and aware that they can’t see what their manipulating, lying and cheating can do to the people in their lives, making them completely oblivious to how retarded their little soap opera of a life is because it is really obvious to everyone else that their entire production is put on just to make sure all guys everywhere pay attention to them and whether it be secretively or overtly want to suck their boobies and ram them them up the tookus.

and well, most boys are trained and encouraged to want to suck and fuck multiple dramamamas… even at the same time… making the competition between said mommies very, very thick.

click on more to read about my theory…

you see, the mommies want to be just that. mommies. actually having children is not necessary to all of them… but they wanna be “different” and “special” and “the most important person” to you.

and well, gosh darn it… they fuck up your brains so damn good that you actually think these things of them. they somehow take you and your life and turn it all around so you think you actually like doing more than just sucking and fucking them. i have done this myself and sincerely don’t know how it happens. when i figure it out… i will be a very rich old bitch.

anywho… in the process of this “thing” that they do… they attach themselves to you for validation. for a sense of self-worth. they have a boy who thinks they’re neat (i guess) and maybe sometimes even touches them in such a way that gives them a slimy feeling down below.

but this is not my point. my point is that in some (most, in my recent experiences) of these “relationships” end with this mommie getting bored. she gets bored and starts to question if you really do worship her. no wait. she knows you worship her… but that isn’t good enough now. now she hasta go find some other guy to get under her spell. so after many weeks of lying and maybe cheating… she breaks your heart.

yep. she breaks up with your stank ass.

… or so you think.

does this sound familiar?

“i think i just need a break. some time to figure myself out. i don’t know what i want anymore. i love you so much… but i just don’t have the ability to be the girlfriend you deserve right now.”

yipe. but there’s more.

“i don’t mean that there is not a chance of us ever getting back together… i mean… you are my best friend. i need you and want you in my life.”

oh god.

… i forgot to mention my role in all of this.

despite what you may think… i am not the mommie. i am a bystander. no… i am THE bystander. i am the “single since forever female friend.” the one who knows about the manipulating, lying, cheating and self-centered broadway show that is the mommie’s love life.

but now this mommie has you in this double bind. you want to hate her because it hurts. you want to cut her off because looking at her and knowing she isn’t yours anymore makes you want to die inside (why? i don’t know… yer a moron). but you can’t hate her because she is your unique little princess and you love her. she still cares about you. she still wants you in her life. you are certain you will get back together.

but what is really going on is that she still wants you to play the role of ass-worshiper… but now you just aren’t #1 anymore. she still wants you to do everything that you did for her before… but only when convenient for her. only when she needs an ego boost.

this is commonly known as the post-break-up-hook-up. this can be once for a minute or two… or reoccurring for years. depends on her mood and how much attention she can get elsewhere.

…

i have rambled so long i forget why i started to post in the first place.

…

oh yes. i hate girls. i hate them because they do all of this and then get mad at me. they get mad at me because i am the “single since forever friend.” i am independent. fairly attractive and fairly intelligent. fairly successful. kinda funny. the most fun person they have to hang around with. etc. etc. they get mad at me because i… for some reason… am not involved in this “thing” that they do and they can’t understand it.

don’t get me wrong. i’ve done it. multiple times. enough times to become aware of it and stop. it’s mean, stupid and serves no purpose. i like boys. i should be nice to them. i figured all of this out about 2 years ago… and i’m guessing this understanding is the main reason i have stayed single.

anyways.

i’m sure those of you who read this will respond accordingly… or most likely not at all. because you all are lurking fucks.

but i imagine that most of the boys will read this and relate to this “thing” i have described in some form or another… and most of the mommies will deny this phenomenon and just label me as the “bitter bitch” that i so want to be.

anywho. i hope you all thought it was worth the read.

105 thoughts on “i hate girls.”

  1. Wow. You are the only female in the world who has realized that other females suck.

    (Good read, despite that.)

    #1 | Comment by thess — April 20, 2003 @ 10:18 pm

  2. Did you ever see the tv sitcom, "Dinosaurs?" Every time you referred to them as mommies I thought, "DONK… not the mamma!"

    #2 | Comment by ricochet — April 20, 2003 @ 10:25 pm

  3. I agree with some of what you said, mainly because most of the girls i ask out say "i only want to be your friend". To hell with the ones that said no. Although i still like girls. Don’t get the wrong idea.

    #3 | Comment by nived — April 20, 2003 @ 10:37 pm

  4. Will you quit reading my mind?

    It frightens me.

    #4 | Comment by Seriously — April 20, 2003 @ 10:58 pm

  5. Yeah, thats freaky. Where did you come from, Lizzie….and how come you’ve been single-since-forever if youre "am independent. fairly attractive and fairly intelligent. fairly successful. kinda funny"? Is it a personal choice? eh. Here’s to lurking!

    #5 | Comment by Dave E — April 20, 2003 @ 11:10 pm

  6. Yeaaaaaah, girls are like that, but I pay no mind to it. After all, who’d wanna end up as the kind of guy that’d bitch and moan about how poorly girls treat him because he’s being too "nice" to them? Girls should know that nice guys can pork just as good, if not better, than the so called "bad guys". They’re stupid anyway. Life is one big ball of doi, and if i knew what that was, i wouldn’t be here. I’m confused.

    #6 | Comment by Joisey_wang — April 20, 2003 @ 11:19 pm

  7. totally accurate.

    #7 | Comment by lurking fuck — April 20, 2003 @ 11:29 pm

  8. I wish I knew girls who thought like you Lizzie.

    #8 | Comment by Onan — April 20, 2003 @ 11:50 pm

  9. ahhh fuck it it’s all the same. too many girls post here, how am I supposed to keep them all straight?

    #9 | Comment by Pancho — April 21, 2003 @ 2:05 am

  10. Nice guy – "You don’t like that? tell me what you like I’ll do it five times over"

    Ass hole guy – "What you don’t like it?! Shut the fuck up bitch (slap across the face)"

    And yes i do know a guy like that, he schedules the beatings i give him in his date book.

    Plus i think your lying cause dudes would be all over you if you said that to them unless their insecure which i hear happens a lot. Suckers. (continues to look for a hot chick who makes more money then he does and doesn’t give a shit)

    #10 | Comment by Dionysus187 — April 21, 2003 @ 4:04 am

  11. [b]and well, most boys are trained and encouraged to want to suck and fuck multiple dramamamas… [/b]

    Lol. No, its genetic. There’s no training involved. it just came with the penis.

    #11 | Comment by justin — April 21, 2003 @ 4:31 am

  12. I’m scared 🙁

    *drools on Bubba for support*

    #12 | Comment by Kingolf — April 21, 2003 @ 4:56 am

  13. eh I’ve pretty much known this for a good while now. All you really do if you’re a guy is act like you don’t care, and when it comes to these girls, there’s no reason to.

    #13 | Comment by charles — April 21, 2003 @ 5:00 am

  14. bang bus?

    #14 | Comment by dikkok — April 21, 2003 @ 5:16 am

  15. That can’t be dikkok….can it?

    Oh, and kingolf…..I don’t support you.

    #15 | Comment by Bubba — April 21, 2003 @ 5:56 am

  16. lizzie do you wanna mary me??? you sound like the perfect girl…

    #16 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — April 21, 2003 @ 6:06 am

  17. Ha!Ha! Jokes on you Lizzie. I always actively sought out the female friend to bed. They were always good looking, funny, intelligent, great in bed, and very conscious about not acting like their shitty friends. Plus, they were always kind of kinky too. Kingolf, you might want to talk to Lizzie a little bit. If I was single I’d….

    #17 | Comment by grud — April 21, 2003 @ 7:42 am

  18. Amen.

    #18 | Comment by Messenjah — April 21, 2003 @ 10:41 am

  19. i’m the "other" liz. sorry bout the confusion.

    disco… just because i hate girls doesn’t mean that i don’t think they deserve equal rights.

    dionysus… i never said that guys were not all over me.

    i hate to admit it, but grud has hit on a subset to this theory… for some odd reason these mommies also end up getting mad at me because they think i am trying to steal their daddies. they think this is a part of my game that i use to get them under my spell (see back up to the thick competion).

    this is prolly the main reason i hate girls so much. i mean, as the close, single since forever female friend… it is important that i approve of their daddie and that we all get along. so i mean… i’m going to feel them out and see if they are quality. and if they are quality… i am going to be their friend. and as a friend, i am going to be there for them when the mommies shit on their faces. but i do NOT pick up rebound babies, thank you.

    it just gets messy.

    #19 | Comment by lizzie — April 21, 2003 @ 11:52 am

  20. thanx thess. and adam… that was a very useful comment.

    but yeah… i come from my mommie ::snort::

    and yes. it has been a choice… at least… that is what i tell myself.

    #20 | Comment by lizzie — April 21, 2003 @ 12:04 pm

  21. Damn I have to say I am going through that right now. It’s creepy how you hit it on the button. So what’s to say that she really doesn’t care about me? Is she using me as the "ego boost" you say girls do? how do i know she isn’t that "unique little princess" i’m looking for? dammit you make me hate girls. but i can’t hate her…

    #21 | Comment by jb — April 21, 2003 @ 12:14 pm

  22. Did you get in a fight with meg again or something?

    #22 | Comment by Pancho — April 21, 2003 @ 12:14 pm

  23. Ah, an all too familiar situation. My favortie thing is how when the douche bag of a guy they are with finally abuses (verbally or physically, sometimes both) them enough, they come to me to bitch and moan about it…and I don’t even get any ass for my troubles!

    #23 | Comment by Bryan — April 21, 2003 @ 12:15 pm

  24. Pancho…. this lizzie if not liz.

    I’m rite, rite?

    #24 | Comment by JiL0 — April 21, 2003 @ 12:19 pm

  25. Lizzie, wouldn’t be ironic and funny if all of the boyfriends of your "mommy" friends now start coming after you, just using your friends to get to you. Cool. I would have already figured that out, and we’d be sleeping together until I got tired of you. 🙂

    #25 | Comment by grud — April 21, 2003 @ 12:20 pm

  26. and to think you bitch-slapped me when I said you lot should stay home, get fucked, make babies, raise decent children, and sensitize husbands.

    #26 | Comment by Discommode — April 21, 2003 @ 12:25 pm

  27. Yes my disco friend, I don’t get it either. I take your side fully.

    #27 | Comment by Bubba — April 21, 2003 @ 12:45 pm

  28. Wow, from what you said… You are the perfect representative of your sex!!! Great work!!!

    #28 | Comment by IronChef — April 21, 2003 @ 12:49 pm

  29. just a warning though, the women you describe are those who eventually marry decent guys and have four kids; do enormous charity-work, and sponsor charity events.
    At those events they reminisce about their fuck filled lives, and regale with stories about screwing each other’s brothers and chafing their penises with two-day old pubic stubble.

    Women like you on the other hand, the fairly this and the fairly that…………well, it’s much more difficult.
    They analyse too much and eventually marry the handyman who works at the "Country Club", and constantly echo to their single-friends that
    "I don’t need a man with money to qualify my self-worth"

    I don’t mean any of that of course, but it’s about time we had a rant.
    Am I the only one who sighs at grown boys begging and harking for DVD reviews by Justin.

    Thank GOD for Lizzie!

    #29 | Comment by Discommode — April 21, 2003 @ 12:53 pm

  30. jb… i am not saying that women are consciously using you for an ego boost. they are attached to you. they do love you. but until they are secure and happy with themselves ALONE… they really are incapable of having the very type of mature relationship they are after.

    justin… you remember that love advice column thing we discussed… yeah. i told you.

    and grud. it is ironic. but it is not funny. even if you HAD already figured it out, i guarantee we would never have slept together because i would have already figured out that you are the kind of daddie who thinks this stuff IS a sick competition/game… and never would have approved of you in the first place.

    #30 | Comment by lizzie — April 21, 2003 @ 12:56 pm

  31. bah to you disco!!

    i intend to marry the handy man at the country club (who just so happens to be a decent guy)… have 4 kids… do enormous amounts of charity-work… and sponsor charity events. not to mention all the while, constantly echoing to my single-friends that "I don’t need a man with money to qualify my self-worth."

    #31 | Comment by lizzie — April 21, 2003 @ 1:02 pm

  32. both sexes are manipulative. you should see the shit i’m doing right now. oh and i can’t believe we’re going to get stuck with the amanda bynes layout.

    #32 | Comment by uncle pauly — April 21, 2003 @ 1:02 pm

  33. Jebus, you should start a ‘Dear Lizzie’ Section… =P

    #33 | Comment by jb — April 21, 2003 @ 1:26 pm

  34. My dearest Lizzie….I am sly and cunning and you would never have seen me coming. I am the guy the mommies want, but can’t have. I toy with them. I use them for my purposes, one of which is getting to your kind. Actually, all of this should be in the past tense. I’m off the market to a non-mommy. But I would have known that you knew that I thought it was fun and games, and I would have further manipulated you by coyly playing the slightly aloof guy whom you want but can’t have because he doesn’t want you. You would have chased me until you caught me. You overestimate your powers.

    #34 | Comment by grud — April 21, 2003 @ 1:42 pm

  35. phhhhhh…….silly Lizzie…phhhhhhh

    #35 | Comment by grud — April 21, 2003 @ 1:46 pm

  36. Women are evil, something I have said over and over again in my life..

    Super Mommie is the worst, and I have dated one, these are the types that want kids more than anything. They just want you to knock em up, then they do not care if you stay or go. Pure evil.

    #36 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 21, 2003 @ 2:18 pm

  37. In my opinion, the worst is the ones that already have the kiddies, but hang out at the colleges to try and snag themselves a husband, business or law major preferably.

    These chicas have a mastery in the arts of guilt, they will make you feel bad even if you’ve done nothing. They go for a barely legal male and insinuate themselves into his affections, using their feminine wiles and playing on his inexperience. After an insanely short amount of time, they will want a ring. One ring to rule them all, one ring to bind you, and if you don’t buy them that ring when they think you should, they will wreak all sorts of havoc with your mind.

    That, children, is evil.

    #37 | Comment by Seriously — April 21, 2003 @ 4:33 pm

  38. Good point Seriously, those chicks are teh sluts too, bangin and doing shit normal chicks wouldn’t do just to snag the man, they don’t care they already got a kid, they are more willing to go the extra mile for that ring.. pure evil..

    #38 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 21, 2003 @ 5:37 pm

  39. You’re fine as long as you know they are evil…then you can use them and see how far they will go….MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    #39 | Comment by grud — April 21, 2003 @ 5:41 pm

  40. Somebody say something nice about girls, you guys are scaring the crap out of me!

    #40 | Comment by Kingolf — April 21, 2003 @ 5:44 pm

  41. Some of them smell good.

    #41 | Comment by grud — April 21, 2003 @ 5:51 pm

  42. I love mexican chics. That and every other race of girls. Most mexican chics are hot as hell. Also, any hot girls reading this, give me a shout out, along with a pic.
    P.S. the asian chics are hot too.

    #42 | Comment by nived — April 21, 2003 @ 6:07 pm

  43. Girls taste good.
    My favorite flavors:
    -Black hair blue eyes
    -Red hair blue/green eyes.

    #43 | Comment by Seriously — April 21, 2003 @ 6:19 pm

  44. I usually only post to complain about avril when i need too….but this….oh my….soooo true…sooo true(been there)…but what am i to do. I like girls they are all soft and squishy, and usually cant beat me up which is always good. Now though i am frightened, I wont have any hope left… :'( …girls are mean…

    #44 | Comment by Hitek — April 21, 2003 @ 6:30 pm

  45. ugh. grud. some girls don’t like the sly and cunning… i mean, duh… that is a sign you are up to no good.

    i don’t chase after my friends’ boyfriends or exboyfriends. and i only persue anything with them on a romantic or sexual level under very certain circumstances. you don’t… or should i say didn’t… ever have a chance.

    i care about my friendships way more than any good romp in the park. and i hold myself to very strong ethics that not even the most manipulative manly mann man could knock down.

    i just hope your current non-mommie isn’t someone you are just waiting to get tired of.

    #45 | Comment by lizzie — April 21, 2003 @ 6:51 pm

  46. hell yeah a girl that finally understands how us guys feel. girls are too pretty and intimidating at the same time, and yeah i hate them sometimes too

    #46 | Comment by J.C. — April 21, 2003 @ 7:52 pm

  47. I know this isn’t a help forum, but I had a quick question for all you webpage designers. I was working on a webpage on my home computer (using Frontpage) and burned the folder to a CD to work on it from my office. I couldn’t access the files with Frontpage from work though… Any ideas? For anyone who knows… Thanks. For people who make fun of me… Eat a dick…

    #47 | Comment by IronChef — April 21, 2003 @ 10:58 pm

  48. Flavors… hmmm… I’d like to try dishwater blond with brown eyes. I’ve had brunette with blue eyes… wouldn’t recommend it.

    #48 | Comment by Messenjah — April 21, 2003 @ 11:55 pm

  49. bros before ho’s, and chicks before dicks is the philosophy behind lizzie I beleive

    #49 | Comment by charles — April 22, 2003 @ 2:50 am

  50. IronChef that show is fucking awesome.

    #50 | Comment by Dugas of eenodol — April 22, 2003 @ 5:07 am

  51. Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie (I feel like Randy Jackson)….you are so silly. Don’t take me so seriously. 99% of everything I posted was pure b.s. designed to raise your hackles. Very tounge in cheek. Poor attempt I admit. I’m really not a bastard. I am with a wonderful non-mommy of whom I shall never tire. Black hair, blue eyed flavor. Best flavor.

    #51 | Comment by grud — April 22, 2003 @ 7:18 am

  52. Black hair and blue eyes is a great combination.

    #52 | Comment by Kingolf — April 22, 2003 @ 7:38 am

  53. Quote Kingolf – "Somebody say something nice about girls, you guys are scaring the crap out of me!" End Quote

    Kingolf, let me tell ya something, I am getting near 28, almost dead by modern standards. I am no Wilt Chamberlain but I have dated quite a few girls. They are not all evil… at first. Good things, they are beautiful, soft, smooth, shapely, smell good, and have many other great physical attributes, this is all the good I can say. Well sex… that goes without saying, dead fish, lively catch, doesn’t matter, sex with women is all good… a wise man once said .. "Sex is like pizza, even when it is bad it is still pretty good" Some people will say there is down right shitty pizza, but for the most part that saying is pretty accurate..

    Women are evil, the nicest, greatest, bestest woman in the world will get on your nerves sooner or later and you will want to kill her. Do not give into those urges, sleep with another woman, that helps,.. leave her find someone else, keep the gig going… we are guys we get more distinguished as we get older and picking up chicks is always something you can do unless you turn out to be some fugly old guy, then you pretty much have to settle.. but if you can do it, do it, date em, get sick of em, leave em, find someone else. You can go back to them too eventually they will look good to you again and you will remember that night of hot sex that makes you tingle, so you will bang her again, leave her again and let the cycle continue. None of this is written in stone, but the truth of life is when you get sick of someone leave them and find someone else who makes you happy… you will find you live a longer life.. women are only evil you see, if you let them be evil, we have to show them that we don’t take that shit and leave em when it happens… if you are lucky enough to find one that always makes you happy and is not evil,… what the hell break the rules, keep em…

    #53 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 22, 2003 @ 10:13 am

  54. amen brother dave.

    #54 | Comment by jb — April 22, 2003 @ 2:49 pm

  55. I was thinking about the same thing the other day. A female friend of mine has gotten into a battle of sorts with another girl that took her boyfriend. And as soon as i read this post, i thought, i know damn well my friend would take someone else’s boyfriend if the thought crossed her mind. she acts like she doesn’t like attetion that she is getting, but i know she does. And being a small school, there are few single since forever friends, girls that are decent people.
    I think this is enough for my second post. Until next time

    #55 | Comment by mackenry — April 22, 2003 @ 5:17 pm

  56. Girls. The worst thing is to sit by and watch a girl trample and manipulate a nice (but not the brightest) guy. Reason # 4,989 for not being friends with girls like that.

    #56 | Comment by eve — April 22, 2003 @ 5:34 pm

  57. World population …
    52% women, 48% men… we have more choice, so go for it… women, do not be afraid to turn to bi-sexualism if you can’t get a man. Remember 2 is good, but 3 is better…

    #57 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 22, 2003 @ 5:35 pm

  58. 3 is better, cause three’s company,too. Anyone know the name or artist that sings "I like the night life baby". Email or post if you know.

    #58 | Comment by nived — April 22, 2003 @ 7:09 pm

  59. …I didn’t even look at who wrote it until the end, and I wouldv’e sworn it’d been written by a guy. You hit the nail on the head.

    #59 | Comment by The Weasel — April 22, 2003 @ 9:13 pm

  60. Alica Bridges – I love the nightlife
    don’t ask how I know, I just do.

    #60 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 22, 2003 @ 9:32 pm

  61. I wont lie to you. I didn’t read any of that just because it wasn’t by one of the earlier mentioned people in my last post.. but im sure it was great.

    #61 | Comment by Susan — April 22, 2003 @ 10:13 pm

  62. hater.

    #62 | Comment by lizzie — April 22, 2003 @ 11:13 pm

  63. Ric Ocasek and the Cars

    #63 | Comment by grud — April 23, 2003 @ 7:14 am

  64. Susan. <3

    #64 | Comment by thess — April 23, 2003 @ 12:19 pm

  65. I didn’t read it either…I started reading it…realized it was not from Susan, Liz, or Thess (I sometimes even only glance at Justin’s stuff) and then looked at how long it was. When I saw that…I gave up and went to the comments.

    Now I feel like a ADD kid.

    #65 | Comment by smash — April 23, 2003 @ 7:21 pm

  66. I bet this was almost as interesting as that post giving all guys a certain label.. but I’m not sure.. because I didn’t read that one either.

    😀

    #66 | Comment by Susan — April 23, 2003 @ 7:30 pm

  67. Oh, silly Susan.

    I bet you don’t even read your own posts.

    #67 | Comment by Seriously — April 23, 2003 @ 8:15 pm

  68. ok it’s one thing to bust on someone’s post after reading it and concluding that it was bad…

    but if you don’t even read it you have no room to comment. just because i’m a newbie doesn’t mean i can’t write entertaining posts.

    i don’t care if you read it or not. but stop trying to act like you are above reading it.

    another reason i hate girls. so catty.

    #68 | Comment by lizzie — April 23, 2003 @ 8:22 pm

  69. I dont recall saying one bad thing about your post.

    You’re a girl too, incase you forgot.

    #69 | Comment by Susan — April 23, 2003 @ 9:25 pm

  70. You go Suzi!

    #70 | Comment by Bubba — April 24, 2003 @ 2:34 am

  71. werd.

    #71 | Comment by Umgawa — April 24, 2003 @ 4:46 am

  72. I like how everybody fights and bitches all the time.

    No wait, I don’t like that.

    #72 | Comment by Kingolf — April 24, 2003 @ 5:32 am

  73. i know you didn’t say anything bad about my post, you just sarcastically implied that reading it wasn’t worth your time. but I must say… it was an excellent example of how girls can be so mean and manipulative in attempts to get everyone to pay attention to them… without really admitting it to themselves… or to anyone else.

    thank you, suzie, not only for reminding me that I am sans-penis, but also for proving my theory.

    and umgawa… you win.

    #73 | Comment by lizzie — April 24, 2003 @ 8:00 am

  74. You lose.

    #74 | Comment by Bubba — April 24, 2003 @ 8:34 am

  75. Men are just as bad as women, but we all love each other anyways. I say we deal with this like adults… lets get naked, oil up and duke it out with our bits and pieces… women take on the men, men take on the women… hell women take on the women, I am a little tired still, I could use a wake up…

    #75 | Comment by Dave Marshak — April 24, 2003 @ 10:04 am

  76. Come on Suzi and Lizzie, you two kiss and make up….come on now, just a little closer…..now a little tounge, oh yeah!!! Just little more…..keep it up, let me get my camera….oh yeah!!!

    #76 | Comment by grud — April 24, 2003 @ 11:03 am

  77. Great post Lizzie. I’ve experienced some of that, and soon learned to look out for the Single Since Forever Friend. Now she’s not so single, as we’ve been married for almost 10 years. She hates girls too. 😉

    #77 | Comment by Bamphalas — April 24, 2003 @ 12:13 pm

  78. This place needs Eve.

    Badly.

    #78 | Comment by Kingolf — April 24, 2003 @ 2:18 pm

  79. Hold on…how did she prove your theory?

    She thought the subject your post was on was both overdone (which it is, and you know it) and probably pretty boring (which she had no reason to think otherwise, considering past posts) and she mentioned it.

    Suddenly, you’re likening her to the "mommies" of your post, and whining about the evilness of the female population of the earth and how she’s just like them.

    How does someone not liking YOU or something you post have ANYTHING to do with the subject matter of your post on how chicks treat poor, innocent, butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-their-mouths men badly?

    I mean, sure…if you want to get right down to it, you’re right–chicks do suck. They are lying, they are backstabbing, they are petty. But so are men; it’s not so much that chicks suck, it’s that everyone does.

    It’s easy to play the jaded, holier-than-the-rest-of-my gender card, but then when you don’t get treated the same way (ie: are dateless), I wouldn’t whine about it too much, nor fling ridiculous "I TOLD YOU SO LOOK SHE DOESNT LIKE ME SHES A MOMMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOSER INTERNET FANBOYS ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" comments around.

    #79 | Comment by thess — April 24, 2003 @ 3:14 pm

  80. Ok….I’ll bite.

    Suzi, Thess and Lizzie….come on, kiss and make up….that’s it…..a little more tounge….very nice….a little on the neck….mmmm…

    It’s the damn internet. Who gives a fuck. Drama mommas, everyone of you…good lord.

    #80 | Comment by grud — April 24, 2003 @ 3:22 pm

  81. When did FUBAR stop being a cool site and start being a place for people to flame eachother lamely?

    That’s right, when Eve left.

    I blame it all on Marc.

    #81 | Comment by Kingolf — April 24, 2003 @ 4:15 pm

  82. I’m sorry, grud, I’ll never do it again. Hey, I have an idea!

    Let’s all go back to commenting about the who’s in this layout and why we don’t like it, who the last one was and why we didn’t like it, and who we think should be in the layout so that we can like it…in EVERY single post made here!

    Or, or, and he’s something fun I haven’t seen in awhile, we can take a mildly funny phrase or word and use it every single time we post teh sex balloons sleeper (hehehehehe ^_^)

    OH, and more bangbus passwords, more porn, and hey, underage chicks are COOL…followed immediately every time by a post from Kingolf about how it’s not gross that HE likes them, because in case anyone forgot from when he mentioned it yesterday, he’s underage, too!

    Christ. Nothing against you, of course, grud… but considering the shit that’s posted daily by a lot of these boys (and girls), it’s not exactly like we’re bringing down the intellectual heights of the comments section, here.

    #82 | Comment by thess — April 24, 2003 @ 4:36 pm

  83. Thess, Peace Sister!!! I was just trying to fuel the fire for my own deviant purposes. I like chaos. Chaos is good. It soothes my inner male beast. Remember though, it’s in your interest to let others post drivel and shit. It makes your higher quality posts appear even more brilliant, thereby increasing your status and influence over the masses (who dine on mere bread and circus).

    Also, you’re grumpy this afternoon. Go get some cereal, put on your p.j.’s, curl up in a comfy chair, eat the cereal, go to your room, close the blinds, take a nap. Man, I wish I could. Stressy day.

    And oh, you can hold all sorts of thing against me. It’s ok. Many people probably do. I really pissed one of my cats off this morning. But that’s another story.

    #83 | Comment by grud — April 24, 2003 @ 4:53 pm

  84. Thess<3

    #84 | Comment by Susan — April 24, 2003 @ 4:56 pm

  85. Grud, you could (and probably do) make fun of me without me even realizing it. Nothin’ but love fo’ a nikka.

    Also: Slightly hungover, but but not enough to make it worth whining about = grumpy. Sorry. :\

    #85 | Comment by thess — April 24, 2003 @ 5:04 pm

  86. Thess 🙂

    #86 | Comment by grud — April 24, 2003 @ 5:07 pm

  87. congratulations. you have discovered the meaning of life:
    Girls suck. Women swallow.

    wel…. you get my meaning…

    #87 | Comment by onye — April 24, 2003 @ 5:08 pm

  88. Oh god…Thess, Suzi…I’m firmly in your camp after that last one.

    #88 | Comment by grud — April 24, 2003 @ 5:11 pm

  89. thess,

    my theory revolves around thick competition for the attention of the male half of the population. mommies want all the boys to like them and pay attention to them and think they are the bestest. even though they get bored with one and string them along while getting their self esteem boost elsewhere…

    but i come into this situation not trying to get the boy to dig me in that way, but the girl creates a whole situation full of drama because now suddenly i am trying to steal her admirers.

    i am sure you can see where my extended metaphor (as lame and generalizing as it may be) is going.

    i came in… wrote a post that was actually entertaining to read even though i am not one of the heavy hitters of the site. whether suzie was consciously trying to be mean/manipulative/rude/catty/insert other negative descriptive word here to me about my post or not doesn’t matter because she was so focused on saying something to take the attention away from me and onto her that it didn’t matter if she offended me.

    i am not trying to get anyone to hate on suzie… nor do i have any idea if she is a mommie or not. but i’m not going to just sit and read comments that i am hurt by without responding. unlike suzie, i do not have anyone who will come in and tell them whats up for me.

    of course the topic was overdone… that’s what a rant is all about. and i’m not playing a holier than thou card against my gender… i agree with you completely in that people, in general, do some shitty things to each other. if everyone else around here gets to make jabs, poke fun, be sarcastic and cynical… than i would be a fool not to put my two cents in. she was being a snot. you know it. everyone knows it. but she did it in a cute way and it IS just a website. so before i go any deeper into this battle with the almighty thess…

    personally attacking me and my dating status, an assumption you made that was incorrect, is fucked up. implying that i am doing all of this in an attempt to help me sleep better at night because i can’t get a date is something you should save for the jerk off groupies. i started posting on the site to write. i like what i write and who i am… and i’m going to defend them.

    #89 | Comment by lizzie — April 24, 2003 @ 5:33 pm

  90. ::withdraws sword::

    #90 | Comment by lizzie — April 24, 2003 @ 5:36 pm

  91. *sigh* Now you’re interrupting my exam time. I’ll be replying in email, this is getting ridiculous.

    #91 | Comment by thess — April 24, 2003 @ 5:45 pm

  92. Okay. No longer will I make assumptions about your post. I actually read it just now, and it still sucks. You proved MY theory right this time.. and it would be that everyone who posts here that isn’t EVE, THESS, OR JUSTIN, sucks really bad, as stated before.

    ..and I really hope you were kidding when you said I just wanted to take the attention away from you/your post.

    #92 | Comment by Susan — April 24, 2003 @ 7:54 pm

  93. Ooh!

    Dark brown hair and really light brown eyes.
    Just discovered it, wonderful flavor.

    Overdone? Mayhaps, but it was such a timely post to me, it caught some sym_pathetic heart strings.

    Why must you fight?
    Maybe because it’s one of the few things that keeps y’all entertained anymore. Maybe y’all could divide up into teams and have post wars.

    No wait, I think that’s stupid, please don’t.

    Speaking of stupid…

    #93 | Comment by Seriously is stupid — April 24, 2003 @ 9:00 pm

  94. as funny as that was, and actually true, i can recall myself doing some of that at times. still, it was kinda mean, but i want to praise u, a person of the male persuasion, who has the balls to stand up for men everywhere. but i hope u understand when the women get back at u for this. u have found out the female secret. we are out to get u now. hehe j/p.

    #94 | Comment by emilee — April 24, 2003 @ 10:36 pm

  95. Wow, this is the most comments i’ve seen on a post for a while.

    #95 | Comment by *BLACK_CODE* — April 25, 2003 @ 1:20 am

  96. The post was decently long too.

    #96 | Comment by *BLACK_CODE* — April 25, 2003 @ 1:21 am

  97. manufactured woman shit, and the FUBAR rent boys always fall for it.

    #97 | Comment by Discommode — April 25, 2003 @ 1:52 am

  98. Thess : may seem by-the-way to you but I personally look forward to the BANGBUS passwords.
    And in a moment of rare penile truth may I aver that I need to see the full video of BoobSquad Deja, so a passwprd would be nice.
    To those who care, Deja is a treasure chested female, possibly filled with 44EEE coins, who has reluctantly agreed to be screwed by a chick with a ten-inch dildo.

    I thought about it LONG and HARD and I could not find a better way to spend time alone than in the company of the real media version.

    So feel free to post another password because thats the sort of intellectual post that gets my juices flowing.

    #98 | Comment by Discommode — April 25, 2003 @ 2:06 am

  99. 99

    #99 | Comment by Bubba — April 25, 2003 @ 4:16 am

  100. 100, reee!!!

    #100 | Comment by Bubba — April 25, 2003 @ 4:16 am

  101. major kudos…

    #101 | Comment by joshman — May 25, 2004 @ 6:56 am

  102. Do me Lizzie!

    #102 | Comment by Newbie — June 29, 2004 @ 1:49 pm

  103. All chicks are pyscho,
    pyscho chicks are the best.

    #103 | Comment by longgone — July 6, 2004 @ 1:10 pm

  104. I completly agree with you, lizzie. While I was reading this the thought that crossed my mind the most was, "God, how many times have I thought that before?" It’s true, plainly girls like that suck. I wish I had more female friends that thought like you and me!(most of the friends I have are guys due to me being the perfect girl-*friend* for guys) whatever that means. Wow, there I go again with my babbling… Anyway, keep up the good work.

    #104 | Comment by wargoddess — July 11, 2004 @ 5:42 am

  105. […] an… you are my best friend. i need you and want you in my life.” oh god. Got it from here. Funny stuff. But its all bullshit though But its fun the girl rants. She shud be a dude for this mat […]

    #105 | Pingback by //rants » Blog Archive » — April 12, 2005 @ 7:44 pm

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