and now, a post about TITS and ASS. (sorry if your connection blows, but there are some pretty BIG photos inside.. if yanno what i mean)
First, some tits.
And next, some ass.
now i’m aware that some of you have already seen these before, but in my opinion that doesn’t make them any less funny >:O so if this applies to you–sit back and enjoy them again 😉 and again.. and again..
and then consider enjoying these, which i personally also found funny:
i realize i’m starting to get off track, with trying to share the funny. this post is supposed to be about T&A, after all, goddamnit!
so let’s get back to business.
i was flipping through some of my victoria’s secret catalogs and i found what i believe to be the hottest woman alive. T&A? you betcha. she might not be super stacked but she definitely is the hotsexy. unfortunately, i have no idea what her name is so i’m having trouble finding more of her to.. well.. innocently look at? ¬.¬
i figure if there is ONE place where people can help me identify a HOT CHICK, it’s here! of course.
so who the hell is this girl??
c’mon people i KNOW some of you must have an idea. and please do share, because, well.. she’s sooo hot… want to touch the hiney!
anyway, during my pathetic attempt at searching the internet for this chick, i waded knee deep through picture after picture of girls in skimpy lingerie–such a toil, such a burden, i know! 😉 but i found these! which i want! so i thought i should share, naturally.
and then i got side tracked thinking about other things i want, which includes a hair cut.
i want hair like this, maybe:
what do you think? nice hair? it just looks so.. touchable, doesn’t it? 😡 (and no, i have no idea what happened to her hands.. *i* didn’t crop the picture.).
I hope they are real cause silicone parts are made for toys. 🙂 Thanks Stal for post pics of girls that won’t get me arrested…No idea who that hottie is sadly.
#1 | Comment by bligityblah — September 25, 2003 @ 10:51 am
I’d be horny rite now because of those pics but i wacked off too many times to porn today, i gotta restock on man juice
#2 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — September 25, 2003 @ 11:00 am
(>:O i resemble that remark). hahah, that man is a lyrical genius.
and hey- no problem about the pictures, or about not knowing her identity–i’m betting someone will. the odds are with me, man, considering this site’s babe-savvy audience.
i have faith in you guys!
#3 | Comment by crystal — September 25, 2003 @ 11:04 am
you know i knew i forgot something; i forgot to include all the pedophile jokes for smash 🙁
next post! i promise. unless i forget again.
someone remind me!
#4 | Comment by crystal — September 25, 2003 @ 11:06 am
I don’t know who she is, either, but that was a kickass post.
That girl’s hair is nice, as well as everything else. Her toes are gone, too, though.
#5 | Comment by zant — September 25, 2003 @ 11:27 am
Yay…I wonder how many others will get it.
#6 | Comment by bligityblah — September 25, 2003 @ 11:27 am
i have a whole arcive full of them just give me time and i’ll find her
#7 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — September 25, 2003 @ 11:32 am
damn, that first girl looks a lot like ali larter. but a little skinnier possibly. i’m a fan.
#8 | Comment by jb — September 25, 2003 @ 11:33 am
wait a tick.. i saw that bitch in the mirror once… last weekend. Hey! i have that same damn summer dress…
#9 | Comment by jb — September 25, 2003 @ 11:37 am
i found her on the website but theres no name attached
#10 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — September 25, 2003 @ 11:50 am
i think i found her, shes Alessandra Ambrosio
#11 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — September 25, 2003 @ 12:09 pm
The girl above looks like a lady that works for CNN Headline New’s Robin Meade But it’s not her, the above person is younger with narrower cheekbones… Great Post!
#12 | Comment by cujo — September 25, 2003 @ 12:10 pm
So she is Alessandra Ambrosio! thanks p.orno.:)
#13 | Comment by crystal — September 25, 2003 @ 12:23 pm
zant you’re right.. no toes either :/ i almost didn’t notice that as i was so busy staring at her tresses. 😡
#14 | Comment by crystal — September 25, 2003 @ 12:30 pm
Ok. Now we’re talking about a subject I know tons about. Chicks.
This chick is indeed superhot. Here’s a couple of reasons…
BeautySecret #1 – Eyebrows.
Not many women realize what a difference the right eyebrow line makes. And no ladies, this doesn’t mean "thinner" is better… it’s the shape/angle. This is a science. I’d rate this among some of the most underated and greatest beauty secret there is.
Case in point.
Hot =
http://www.celebpicgallery.com/angelina_jolie/
http://www.celebpicgallery.com/angelina_jolie/
http://www.celebpicgallery.com/angelina_jolie/
Super-Freaking-hot=
http://www.celebpicgallery.com/angelina_jolie/
http://www.celebpicgallery.com/angelina_jolie/
http://www.celebpicgallery.com/angelina_jolie/
And there’s tons of examples of this once you start to keep your eyes open for it. Generally, it’ll be starletdays vs. professional make-up days. [Lara Flynn Boyle/Stephanie Seymore/etc]
Ok. The other thing is this.
You’re a hot chick. No doubt about it. However, if I may be so bold to make a few comments.
1. You’re fair-skinned. Nothing wrong with that, however your hair color tends to be a bit too "yellow"/"orangish", which doesn’t go with the "pinkish" tones in your skin. I would either, a.) dye your hair more of a "platinum" blond (ie. Mixing in some "blues" – [blue is the complement to orange, so when a hairdresser that actually knows his/her shit is trying to "deaden" the orange they will mix a hint of blue in it – all it does is take some of the orangy tones out. It won’t make your hair "blue"] or b.) tan (bad idea, since it’ll age your skin, although you could use the "fake" spray-on kind – neutrogena makes a nice brand, however check out http://www.sunless.com/choosing/skintype.php or c.) dye your hair a darker color.
Another thing that ties into your skin tone. Dark red lipstick. Don’t use it. It’s too red, tonally dark for your skin. You’ve got awesome lips, but I would use something a bit tonally lighter (less contrast), and less color saturated (not so bright).
2. From the pics I’ve seen, it also looks like you’ve got fairly thin hair. To make it look "heavier" – I’ do a couple of things. 1. don’t wash your hair daily (most women don’t due to convenience – however, oftentimes they screw it up by using too much hairspray or something similar, rendering the hair useless within a day) – if the hair develops some of its natural oils it’ll get a bit "heavier"/thicker on its own. 2. Coloring/Bleaching usually will thicken the hair, although it’ll also make the hair "dry" so using the correct styling stuff is a plus. 3. Two words. Flat iron – that’s what you’re looking at in those victoria secrets shots.
And no, I’m not gay, and I don’t work in a hair salon. Believe it or not, I just love chicks.
#15 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 25, 2003 @ 12:59 pm
NOTE: correction I meant "yellowish" tinge, rather than "pinkish" my bad.
#16 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 25, 2003 @ 1:03 pm
Holy crap, weasel. Keeping in mind that you’re a straight guy … that was, hands down, the gayest thing I’ve ever read.
Ever. Ever.
#17 | Comment by Amy — September 25, 2003 @ 1:08 pm
crystal and zant-
Who cares about her missing hands or toes…I don’t need to see pics of that…just tits and asses. Which, btw, Crystal, not to be critical, but out of tits and asses you didnt post REAL pics of my favorite one of the two…I’m so disappointed.
#18 | Comment by smash — September 25, 2003 @ 2:27 pm
are you sure it isn’t gaysexcrazedweasel ?
#19 | Comment by smash — September 25, 2003 @ 2:34 pm
There is no way you’re a hetero weasel…I fully agree with Amy on this one…that was sooo gay, so, so, so, so gay. Talking about skin tones, eyebrow thickness…holy shit…you’re flaming dude.
You should go re-think your so called "strait" life, there is no way anybody is gonna believe you after that horrendously homosexual post.
Go take a nap and toss a salad.
#20 | Comment by pangwinking — September 25, 2003 @ 2:36 pm
good show
#21 | Comment by radish01001 — September 25, 2003 @ 2:37 pm
And…for the love of christ…angelina jolie is NOT hot.
Neither is that Asia Argento or whatever her name is.
#22 | Comment by smash — September 25, 2003 @ 2:52 pm
Uh yeah…oh that last pic, it really is the hair that looks so touchable…
#23 | Comment by Alexhawker — September 25, 2003 @ 3:13 pm
ok. dipshits.
I AM NOT GAY…
I’m not, I’m not, I’m not!! This is what happens when you’ve had way too many hot girlfriends… the crap rubs off…
#24 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 25, 2003 @ 3:15 pm
what the hell… who am I trying to kid. based on this I’ll be known as the town felcher no matter what I say…
…kingolf – will you be ma bitch?
#25 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 25, 2003 @ 3:16 pm
smash. jolie isn’t my type either necessarily (you all know I like boy-ass… but I digress), the point is about the eye-brows. There’s some Charlize Theron and Denise Richards pics that are covered by this as well…
btw. did I mention I wasn’t gay?
#26 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 25, 2003 @ 3:19 pm
Stop trying to redeem yourself. You’re a gay, that’s fine, just admit it.
Seriously man…read your post…read it slow and read every word. You don’t think that is the post of a anal pumping ass pirate? Sheesh….
#27 | Comment by pangwinking — September 25, 2003 @ 3:22 pm
ok. dude.
Just because I like to fuck guys up the ass, doesn’t make me gay. ok?
#28 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 25, 2003 @ 3:57 pm
Oh shit. I am late for this one. Better late than never, I always say.
Asscrazedweasel… drop the candy and step away from the children.
If you do not smoke the bologna pony, than I do not know who does.
"You’re fair-skinned. Nothing wrong with that, however your hair color tends to be a bit too "yellow"/"orangish", which doesn’t go with the "pinkish" tones in your skin. I would either, a.) dye your hair more of a "platinum" blond (ie. Mixing in some "blues" – [blue is the complement to orange, so when a hairdresser that actually knows his/her shit is trying to "deaden" the orange they will mix a hint of blue in it – all it does is take some of the orangy tones out. It won’t make your hair "blue"] or b.) tan (bad idea, since it’ll age your skin, although you could use the "fake" spray-on kind – neutrogena makes a nice brand, however check out http://www.sunless.com/choosing/skintype.php or c.) dye your hair a darker color."
Who the fuck do you think you are trying to kid with this statement?? If you think that you could walk up to me on the street and tell me this kind of shit off the top of your mind, and walk away thinking to yourself, "Boy!! I am so fucking straight, it’s scary – I’m gonna go find me some nice pussy!", than you have another thing coming to you, Tinkerbell. You more gay than Ripp Taylor and Richard Simmons combined. You are so, PAINFULLY, obviously queer it smells like analjuice and dirty rubbers all over my computer screen right now.
DEEP in the closet?? Maybe that could be possible. A straight shooter?? No way.
You give new meaning to the phrase "A real Man’s Man".
#29 | Comment by embus — September 25, 2003 @ 4:06 pm
Can’t everyone just start talking about me again? Everything else just seems boring.
#30 | Comment by kevin — September 25, 2003 @ 4:40 pm
Not sure if it is known or not, but the last picture is of the one and only Kelly Brook.
#31 | Comment by Carl — September 25, 2003 @ 6:06 pm
Ok lets round up what this site has to offer, some hot girls, a few pedophiles, at least one funny fat guy, and now also a flaming closet case… its getting funnier every day!
#32 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — September 25, 2003 @ 8:10 pm
good god weasel. i don’t know what about that post cried "i need a makeover!" (save the haircut thing.. which i need because the overly-dyed parts of my hair are disgusting and i want them gone), but i must admit i (for one.. maybe soley?) appreciate your insights.
a few responses.. ;p
1. yes i’m pale and pastey as a mofo. no, tanning is not an option (doesn’t happen for me). unfortunately sunless tanning products only leave me streaky and orange, and they don’t last long anyway. so for now it’s pastey stal.
the question of my hair color is a valid one (to me). i dyed it too many times so now it’s godawful and i’m letting it (slowly) grow out–but when it does grow out, i’d probably like to dye it again. i do like the somewhat yellowy-blonde–i feel like out of all the blondes i tried (most of which were too red since my hair just really wants to bleach out red), that has been the most flattering. platinum blonde will definitely not work for me–i’m too pale, so it will just wash me out more. dying my hair a darker color? i’m considering this one as my best experimental option (nevermind the stupid pose).
the lipstick color -> yes i know bright red is awful. i only use it when some occasion seems to call for it (a nice red dress, just wanting to play around). i can’t do dark lip colors either, or super light ones because of my complexion. i’ve found a soft "spice" colored lipstick to be flattering, as well as pinkish-browns. i would highly recommend "purr" lipgloss by MAC any day.
p.s. i’m really surprised that you picked up on my having a yellowish tone to my complexion 😮
2. my hair isn’t thin, or thick. the dying makes it seem frizzy and thinned out, although it does volumize it some. not washing my hair isn’t going to happen–it gets too oily which is the grossness. i do like the look of flat ironing my hair, but i rarely have the time to do it on a regular basis, and it damages the hair sort of like dying does, which is what i’m trying to get rid of right now.
3. eyebrows. i hate mine. it’s not easy to train them into something flattering. i have tried a few different shapes and thicknesses and i can’t seem to get it right. and if i ever *do* find a flattering shape, it will take forever to get them to grow into it.
#33 | Comment by crystal — September 25, 2003 @ 9:26 pm
"Asscrazedweasel… drop the candy and step away from the children."
Hahaha!
#34 | Comment by Kingolf — September 25, 2003 @ 10:29 pm
I shall step in to defend Mr. Weasel’s alleged non-homosexuality.
*ahem*
Apparently, there is a flavor of hetero male that has all or most of the characteristics of the stereotypical homosexual male, i.e. "girly" demeanor, a vast knowledge of fashion, hair styling, etc. However, they are not "ass pirates" or "anal buccaneers", as it were. This brand of preferring-girls-to-have-sex-with -but-still-must-find-the-right-pair-of- shoes-and-oooh-is-that-the-new-yanni-CDedness is called "meterosexuality".
*gasp* Breathe is good.
So,
Heterosexuals: Sex with girls, no sense of style
Meterosexuals: Sex with girls, sense of style, yanni
Homosexuals: Sex with guys, sense of style
Clear as mud, I expect.
#35 | Comment by Seriously — September 25, 2003 @ 10:38 pm
Don’t you guys get it? Crystal, like all the "FUBAR Girls", are not real. They are all a figment of Justin’s imagination attempting replace the lack of a social life with the pleasure received by entertaining thousands of losers daily.
P.S. Of course I’m being (somewhat) sarcastic, but it’d be kinda funny if it were true.
#36 | Comment by kevin — September 26, 2003 @ 1:49 am
I left out the word "to", sorry.
#37 | Comment by kevin — September 26, 2003 @ 1:50 am
Well, shit.
Amy found out about that first, and she spelled it right too. I am such a silly boy.
Amy, I think you’re going to be one of my sources now, which basically means I’ll repeat things you say without giving you any credit.
#38 | Comment by Seriously — September 26, 2003 @ 1:54 am
Seriously = Ass Buccaneer Sympathizer
Bill = Takes the cock for sure. Oh yah.
Kevin = Shut up. Just shut your damn pie hole. If we are all "losers", than you are certainly, and without a doubt, the piteous quintessence and archtype of loserdom.
embus = A beautiful vision of perfection and omnipotence. Love me.
#39 | Comment by embus — September 26, 2003 @ 2:17 am
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….I thank god for Crystal, she has brought the funny back to his site. This whole comment section has turned into all of us ragging on some gay dude. Fuck me, this kicks ass.
Oh yes, and Kevin, you stupid motherfucker, nobody gives a flying fuck about you anymore. Go sit in your basement and cry you attention craving, cat raping moron.
#40 | Comment by pangwinking — September 26, 2003 @ 2:31 am
Oh yeah…
"ok. dude.
Just because I like to fuck guys up the ass, doesn’t make me gay. ok?”
What the fuck is that man? Some kind of half assed attemp at trying to make it seem like you don’t care we’re all calling you a homo? Common, don’t be so goddamn transparent, think of something original for once.
#41 | Comment by pangwinking — September 26, 2003 @ 2:36 am
Seriously — Heh. No worries, I definitely didn’t discover metrosexual man. I saw an article on msn… and wrote that rant. I thought it was some kind of joke, but apparently it’s catching on. Surprisingly, I get a significant number of hits every day from people searching for "metrosexual man". Who’d have thunk it? (I just had a guy email me to complain about that particular rant yesterday)
weasel is not alone in his metrosexuality. (He could really be straight. … Maybe.)
#42 | Comment by Amy — September 26, 2003 @ 2:42 am
"Go sit in your basement and cry you attention craving, cat raping moron."
That was fucking awesome. You quite possibly just drove him closer to suicide. Good job! Remind me never to piss you off. But then, I’m not here enough.
#43 | Comment by zant — September 26, 2003 @ 2:42 am
Ahhh… nothing to bring out the hill-billies like a good ol’ "fag bashing". Any opinions on world hunger, the economy… nahh… but, "we suuuure hate ’em gays!! Yeeeehaw!"
Next time I’ll post pics of my penis trolling for trout.
SERIOUSLY – thanks for "defending" me, but trust me… I not "girly" at all. [peanut gallery – insert your favorite jokes here]. I know about all this crap because I studied painting and design among other things. I don’t listen to Yanni. I hate shopping. I can’t do interior decorating worth a crap. Come on. That alone makes me SUPER-HETERO MAN. And my idea of styling is putting on a t-shirt with jeans, and running some gel through my hair and being done with it.
Smell that? Yes, it’s the smell of manly testosterone in the air…
BILL – I love women. I mean I love everything about them. They way they move, talk, smell, every single thing. [ps: did I mention I wasn’t gay?] I can find something interesting/hot about just about every girl out there. Combine that with an art-education and you get a basic understanding of these things. Chicks dig it.
If that makes me gay. So be it. I still get more tail than most of you.
PANGWINKING – You need to learn more productive ways of dealing with your latent homosexual fixation on me… lashing out just makes it worse. And greatly reduces your chances of having me fuck you like an animal.
AMY – I am NOT gay! [tm] I’d bang you just to prove the point. No doubt the peanut gallery here would cry foul, and see some sinister plot. But, hey, I’d get laid. Did I mention I wasn’t gay?
At least Crystal seems to appreciate my post… if no one else here does. Take note, jealous lil’ bitches.
#44 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 26, 2003 @ 3:34 am
‘stal. If you have a color pic of yourself (fairly large straight on without a black bg) – post it and I’ll see if I can tweak it in pshop to show you what I mean…
Better yet, just email it to my yahoo account if you want to.
#45 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 26, 2003 @ 3:49 am
oh. one more thing.
Did I mention I wasn’t gay?
#46 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 26, 2003 @ 3:50 am
I didn’t rape my cat, that pussy was asking for it.
#47 | Comment by kevin — September 26, 2003 @ 4:07 am
mmmm…. I’ve always wanted a guy to offer to fuck me to prove a point. (For the record, I think you’re right about the eyebrow thing.)
#48 | Comment by Amy — September 26, 2003 @ 4:18 am
weasle,
hahahahaaahaha.
Assbandit. Chocolate Speedway Racer. Hemorroid Hitman. Closet Cruisader. Rectum Wrangler.
No amount of explainations will ever suffice. You will forever be known to this "Peanut Gallery" as the Peanut Packing Poop Pipe Plunger.
God, you are so devistatingly homosexual. You would be a much happier person if you just came to grips with the reality of this situation.
You may keep your tail. If I have to trade blatant repressed homosexuality to get to where you are, I’ll pass…thank you very much.
Jealous Bitches?? Jealous, you say? Har, har, my new found aquaintance. You must have me confused with the faghag next door. I picture you standing in front of your salon, somewhere, snaping your fingers and calling us all bitches. The perfect homosexual stereotype. And that makes me laugh so much. Laughing. Ahhhhhh.
You better work it, girl.
#49 | Comment by embus — September 26, 2003 @ 4:32 am
will this pic work for you, weasel? it’s straight off the webcam, no color correcting or resizing or anything. because it’s a webcam pic the quality kinda blows–but to be honest, my digi cam isn’t much better (it’s old and it’s crap.)
smash – i will correct my post-oversights next time, promise :p
bill – me, and yes, and thank you 🙂
#50 | Comment by crystal — September 26, 2003 @ 4:46 am
keep posting pics like that and this net-crush will never go away Stal….Thank you. 🙂
#51 | Comment by bligityblah — September 26, 2003 @ 4:51 am
Amy – a guy offering to fuck you to prove a point. Is that similar to your seeing my statement that ‘I wouldn’t just jump in bed with any willing girl’ as a challenge to you?
#52 | Comment by smash — September 26, 2003 @ 6:31 am
Crystal-
How old are you anyway, btw? Maybe I can pretend you are young enough to fixate my pedophilia on?
I’m not going to give you, or any of the Fubar women, the satisifaction of saying ‘you are hot’ anymore. I’ll only be motivated by age.
#53 | Comment by smash — September 26, 2003 @ 6:34 am
smash — When you said you wouldn’t just jump in bed with any willing girl, I said that came off like a challenge for some girl to make a whore out of you. Not necessarily me. 😉
#54 | Comment by Amy — September 26, 2003 @ 6:59 am
ok. I’ve got a pic – but no way to host.
help?
#55 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 26, 2003 @ 7:05 am
*i take sexcrazedweasel’s side~
i agree with his points. and a lil’ bit of information for all you uncultured children, almost any artist whose done any drawings/portraits/paintings of a female would know the things weasel said. most just wouldn’t be secure enough to say them out loud.
haha. i called you all children. chances are most of you are older than i am. *points and laughs* hahaha
#56 | Comment by connect n0w — September 26, 2003 @ 7:27 am
Note to self. Villagephotos suck. But its free.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/404373/stal1.jpg
This is the original picture.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/404373/stal2.jpg
A tinge of mandy moore. In a good way.
Ok. Here’s what I was talking about.
Hair-
I made the hair platinum even though you said you hated it. The main point here is that its more of an ash color, rather than an yellowish blond. I happen to think that a lighter color would look good, but as long as you stay away from yellowish tones and use more "ash" blond its a good idea. I tried a short cut just for kicks.
Eyeshadow-
I also added some eyeshadow, although I went really light underneath the eyes (very light – no heavy liner), and concentrated the darkest spots on the outside of the eye corners. Stay away from anything that has too much orange/yellow in it. Again because it empathizes the yellowish tinge in your skin.
Eyebrows-
Notice they are a bit sharper. The upper corner has a bit more of a kink. Also I pulled them in a bit more, rather than having them as far apart as you have.
Lipstick-
A lighter shade. Not too bright, and not too dark. Again based on skin tone.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/404373/stal3.jpg
Same thing except for a bit longer hair. I love your hair, however, I think you need to cut about 1 inch off the bottom to get rid of the "feathery" look (and/or split ends). Don’t get me wrong. I love long hair, but given the choice between the two, you’re better off with a straight line.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/404373/stal4.jpg
You look like cindy crawfords younger sister.
Last but not least. The brunette look. Pretty much the same thing again, however, the eyebrows are a bit darker, the eyeshadow a bit lighter, and the lipstick just a nudge darker, and reder. Personally, I’d stay away from darker tones. Also the hair is shorter – I’d probably use some "pomade" (just a nudge) to give the hair a bit of weight – there are subtle highlights throught the hair. Lots of girls are doing this, these days (the J’Lo lightish brown hair, with highlights), however be sure your hairdresser doesn’t make you look like a zebra. The stripes should be fairly drastic, but not so that they look like someone spary painted them in.
#57 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 26, 2003 @ 7:40 am
Before I forget.
Let me make this disclaimer, just in case it needs to be made. ‘Stal your a very beautiful girl, so this isn’t to put you down, these are just some ideas to play with. That’s all. This isn’t meant as a critique or attempt to dissect your looks.
As far as I am concerned you’re plenty hot as is.
#58 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 26, 2003 @ 7:47 am
thats creepy
#59 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — September 26, 2003 @ 7:47 am
why cant u just like girls for their character and personality and not on looks
#60 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — September 26, 2003 @ 7:50 am
Oh my god.
He’s doing it right now. His friend is a hair stylist, and he is having her write makeover tips to win Crystals attention. I read about it in Maxim Magazine. And I think it’s working. I quit. I’m out.
There is no way a normal guy would ever write that shit. You are either a butt frolicking rimjobber or the true master pimp of the universe. In either case, I quit.
Oh, and Crystal…
Dont let him talk you into anything. It is VERY clear that the original picure is by far the best shot. Your hair color is perfect, your skin is beautiful, and for Christ’ sake, you don’t even need to wear makeup. You are pretty much perfect the way you are now, but you already know that – I’m sure.
I’m out of this sick game.
#61 | Comment by embus — September 26, 2003 @ 7:58 am
Okay, we now know that sexcrazedweasel has that Cosmopolitan Virtual makeover program lol
#62 | Comment by cujo — September 26, 2003 @ 8:10 am
In psychology class we learned about Dr. Sigmund Freud’s works and basically they say that sexcrazedweasel has suppressed gay animalistic desires and something happened that made them come out and now hes going into rainbow colors, o and some other thing about the oedipal complex(look it up sometime, its kinda sickening)
#63 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — September 26, 2003 @ 8:11 am
smash – i’ll be 21 come october. maybe a bit too old for you 🙁
weasel – the reason i don’t like ashy tones is because they look grey or green. i don’t like too much orange either because it makes hair look like strands of mustard. with the yellowish blonde i was trying to achieve something in between. ah well. maybe i’ll go brunette for once.
#64 | Comment by crystal — September 26, 2003 @ 10:58 am
Sexcrazedweasel –
Dude, you are so fucking gay. That picture of crystal is horrible. She’s fine the way she is, don’t go ruining her by making her another blah blonde.
#65 | Comment by smash — September 26, 2003 @ 11:59 am
Crystal-
What date in October. We’ll go get you shit faced to celebrate. I have a b-day in October too.
#66 | Comment by smash — September 26, 2003 @ 12:00 pm
Stal I wouldn’t worry too much about your eyebrows.
Weasel – If you were any further in the closet we’d be hanging our coats on you.
#67 | Comment by bligityblah — September 26, 2003 @ 12:22 pm
PORNO – Personality is number 1 with me. Every single time. I’ve always gone for a girl that has a great personality over the "hot little number". So had you read the post I made right after it, that may have made more sense…
EMBUS – you illiterate butt monkey. Do you even bother to read the posts… why do I even bother posting disclaimers for such hill-billy as you, if you don’t bother to read them?
‘STAL – Like I said you’re gorgeous as is, and those were just ideas. Obviously majority agrees that they suck.
🙂
#68 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 26, 2003 @ 12:26 pm
At least I know how to punctuate. Your disclaimers mean about as much to me as a bag full of monkey snot. Boo freakin’ hoo.
#69 | Comment by embus — September 26, 2003 @ 12:30 pm
‘Stal…
Birthday coming up soon, eh?? I just inherited a Recreational Vehicle, and actually plan on being in Florida for Biketoberfest in Daytona in the middle of the month…Me and some friends are trailering in our motorcycles.. we should hook up and celebrate! Smash is WAY too old for you 😉
#70 | Comment by embus — September 26, 2003 @ 12:41 pm
crystal::
Who does the Photoshop work on your pictures (tones/levels/backgrounds/etc.)? Are you taking all the pictures yourself? I really like how some of them turn out (like this and this), kind of ‘artsy’. I guess it helps that you’re cute as hell.
weasel::
Gay or not you seem to know your shit. While 90% of your post was lost on me I showed that to my girlfriend and she was damn impressed. I’ll go with Seriously and label you Metrosexual, because everyone has to have a label.
#71 | Comment by bill — September 26, 2003 @ 12:47 pm
Crystal. Forget all that advice. You are hot and have big boobs. That’s all that matters:-)
#72 | Comment by Steve — September 26, 2003 @ 12:50 pm
sexcrazedweasel, read my alias, does it sound like i give a fuck about personality, i’m shallow like 99% of straight guys and i like to express sacrcasm, so learn sarcasm
#73 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — September 26, 2003 @ 1:08 pm
No one takes personality first. Its always looks, we live in a visual society thanks to bioligy. Nobody has ever looked at a fattie with a hairy mole on their face and said "Damn I should marry that one, I’ll bet he/she has a great heart!!" Looks open the door, personality closes the deal.
#74 | Comment by bligityblah — September 26, 2003 @ 2:09 pm
Amy-
You sure YOU don’t want the challenge??
#75 | Comment by smash — September 26, 2003 @ 6:40 pm
embus and gaysexweasel,
stop telling Crystal she’s hot.
#76 | Comment by smash — September 26, 2003 @ 6:41 pm
Jeez, what a m-…nimrod…
And that’s the last time I ever defend anybody. Ingrate, that’s what you are.
#77 | Comment by Seriously — September 27, 2003 @ 2:16 am
The Edit strikes and makes the first sentence of my previous post meaningless, so pay no attention.
#78 | Comment by Seriously — September 27, 2003 @ 2:17 am
SERIOUSLY –
Regardless. For what its worth I still appreciate the effort.
Thanks.
#79 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — September 27, 2003 @ 3:19 am
"I don’t listen to Yanni. I hate shopping. I can’t do interior decorating worth a crap. Come on. That alone makes me SUPER-HETERO MAN"
No, that makes you sane.
#80 | Comment by Kingolf — September 27, 2003 @ 12:14 pm
This girl is a victoria’s secret model. Her name is indeed Alessandra Ambrosio. I have been looking at pictures of her for a long time and yes she is very very hot
#81 | Comment by dfrank — January 22, 2006 @ 5:02 am