in dedication of bligity-man & smashy-poo

greymatter sucks. i wrote up a post earlier and the damn thing decided to pull a “page cannot be displayed” upon preview, and then an “i’m a piece of shit so i decided to lose all of your data” when i hit the back button. my folly for not copying before previewing, but i really wasn’t expecting it to mal-fucking-function. >:O


allow me to try to recreate my beautiful vision. 😉

–~scoobidydoo~scoobidydoo~scoobidydoo~ (or whatever they say on wayne’s world)–

i have absolutely nothing productive to post. hence i haven’t been posting lately.

instead i have been spending all of my spare time feeding my addiction to this. it’s free, probably as addictive as free-basing–but safer (because no ether is involved, of course), and it doesn’t require an xbox to operate. that’s a bonus for those of us without an xbox.

xboxii are expensive. if i had one, i would probably be playing crimson skies, burnout, or kung fu chaos all day long instead of gunbound. by the way, for those of you who think “quality” xbox games can only be obtained “cheaply” via hardcopy “bootlegs,” consider this: if you mod your xbox and install a larger hard drive, you can download all of the games you want off usenet for free and ftp them to your xbox. of course this requires a little technical ability (although not as much as the ps2 mod) and the finances to get a hard drive and possibly a mod chip, but it’s cheaper in the long run than buying 1094382943 fifty-dollar games. of course you should not do this because it is illegal! and illegal=bad! help put a stop to piracy! …do it for the little guys like the 3d “set painter” ¬.¬ (speaking of which… watch this, if you haven’t already–it’s only remotely related–but it is oh-so-funny!) instead why don’t you buy the stuff legitimately–from someone who appears to have “happened” upon a shit ton of games that probably “fell off the back of a truck?” 😉

i really tried to play catch up with this blog and the comments within–but i only found myself with enough time to skim it, since lately i’m so busy playing gunbound studying. i do have a couple of thoughts i’d like to add to the things i did sort of read, however:

1) i do not consider making a video for/with a significant other a “slutty” nor “idiotic” thing to do. in fact i think it’s a nice gesture and appropriate for those couples who are open to the idea and trust one another to keep the thing private, if that’s what’s agreed upon/understood. the only real wronging in all of these cases was the violation of that trust, or the stealing of people’s private property with the intent of exploitation; whichever the case may be. that’s just shitty.

2) “SPS” — justin, i think one of the primary causes for what you’re noticing is probably discharge–which is a normally-occurring phenomenon for many (if not most) women. it *should* be odorless (if your girl is seriously foul she probably has an infection that she should get checked out), and clear to slightly yellow in color–though it’s not urine or anything “dirty.” just vaginal fluids that are released as a result of fluctuating hormone levels and whatnot. it leaves a yellow stain in the crotchity area of the panties even after they’ve been washed. a really simple solution is using pantyliners–and they even come in shapes that fit thongs :p (whoopideedoo?) recommend them to your future lovers, to avoid the panty stains. as for any odor in the down-there area (that is due to say, sweating, and not anything serious like an infection), just have her wash up before you go down, and perhaps apply a drying/deodorizing powder that is made to help keep her drier and therefore fresher throughout the day. and as for taste… you can mask taste with all sorts of different flavored syrups that are made just for such an occasion… maybe try playing with lollipops or mints? there are plenty of work-arounds. ;p

so have no fear! XD

lastly, i’d like to leave you all with this GEM of a birthday card i picked up at a local eckerd’s:

outside, it looks like:

inside, it says:
“Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.”

is that HORRIBLE (in the most funny way ever) or what?! you’d expect to find that kind of card in spencer’s, not eckerd… but whatever, i’m really glad i found it. what a treasure.

60 thoughts on “in dedication of bligity-man & smashy-poo

  1. 43 people online and i’m the first to leave a comment? That sucks Justin. Great card tho.

    #1 | Comment by jb — November 18, 2003 @ 3:12 pm

  2. holy shit stal you play gb?
    you are sexy indeed.
    if you play me, i’ll let you win…
    don’t worry, you’ll win anyway since I’m absolutely terrible.
    what do you play under…..?

    #2 | Comment by radish01001 — November 18, 2003 @ 3:35 pm

  3. Crystal-

    Yay, we miss your posts.

    I’ll skip down to the only stuff that I care about.
    1) So have you ever made video(s) for a significant other? Do you worry about violation of trust?

    2) Panty syndrome. I agree that all of the things that you said are ‘normal’ and I even commented as such. The question is, if she is planning to have sex with a guy (heck, even Justin) wouldn’t she want a fresh set of underwear and ‘clean up’ down there? I do. For that reason, I consider the 2 unnamed girlfriend in Justin’s history that were labeled as Skanky Panty Syndrome victims were just plain skanky. Add to that, the 2 that cheated on him (unless the two and two are the same women). I can only conclude out of 10 ex girlfriends, 4 are skanks. And therefore, Justin has bad taste in women. Or at least 40% of the time.

    Stal, you need a site so we can see more of your rambling goodness on a daily basis.

    #3 | Comment by smash — November 18, 2003 @ 6:23 pm

  4. yup. it’s official. crystal is, hands down (in most of you all’s pants i’m willing to bet..), THE most desirable woman on earth. kirsten dunst what? kristanna loken who?

    is your gunbound addiction as bad as your old ultima online addiction stal?

    gunbound. looks interesting. too bad i have a piece of shit PC (pentium 3 500 mhz circa 1999) and primarily a mac user. reminds me of a cross between worms and metal slug.

    i see that the game is korean made. those nutty people.

    item plz! english, japan fuck fuck! kekekekekeke huk huk ^_^

    #4 | Comment by Justin — November 18, 2003 @ 6:40 pm

  5. smash you senile old man, get yer facts straight! out of 10 ex’s, i’ve only ever noticed ‘SPS’ happening with one of them. never really started looking for it until after i broke up with that ‘skank’.

    oh and btw, out of the 10, i’d say only about… *counts*… 3 of them ever really cheated on me. 2 of them being ones where i was in a serious relationship with them. anyhow, as to what the other reasons for the other breakups were? that would make for an interesting post someday.

    oh and stal, best wrapping paper ever. works for any occasion!

    #5 | Comment by Justin — November 18, 2003 @ 6:58 pm

  6. radish–hell yeah i play gb. i suck at is as well. i’m on my way to metal axe (it’s about time!) but my aim is HORRIBLE and i am known to mar my own teammates (usually by accident ;p). although i DID get my first DK the other day! luck happens. i’m kittymew on GB. i would have been something better but the other handles i tried were taken.

    smash- 1) i would consider it if it was a desirable thing to do-and i would only consider it for someone i trusted. 2) i probably wouldn’t have been so repetitive had i found the time to thoroughly read all the comments, etc; maybe the girl he noticed SPS in didn’t realize she was so gross down there, and didn’t find the stains embarrassing or unsightly (or maybe all her panties became that way from use and she didn’t have a stainless pair)? i really don’t know what she was thinking, or what her thoughts/reasons were for anything. lastly, i wouldn’t have time to update a site daily or even often so it’d be a pretty boring venture 🙁

    justin- i highly doubt "most desirable" applies to me. my current gb addiction WOULD BE as bad as my ultima addiction IF 1) i had more time to dedicate to it & 2) it had more facets to work with and required less actual talent. ultima had tons of "skills" you could build, that were time consuming as all hell to build up to a reasonable level–but it had more variety and required less ability to build (you didn’t really have to worry about aiming at anything). with gb, which is practically the exact same thing as worms, you have to worry about wind direction and strength, your firing angle, your weapon choice, your weapon power, whether or not there are any tornados or whathaveyou in progress. if you’re mathematically inclined you could probably calculate about what you need to fire a shot where you want it to land each time–but as for me, i take more of a "guess and check" approach. thats why i suck so much i guess. i can never figure out how to get the shot right the first time.

    #6 | Comment by crystal — November 18, 2003 @ 10:41 pm

  7. p.s. that wrapping paper is hysterical

    #7 | Comment by crystal — November 18, 2003 @ 10:43 pm

  8. any girl that plays games and talks about xbox and PS2 mods; is desirable in my books. but maybe that’s just me 🙂

    #8 | Comment by Justin — November 18, 2003 @ 11:38 pm

  9. Stal what is your sig on gunbound?

    I’m WPLeGeNd maybe I killed you a couple of times?

    what are you? I’m a stone hammer (haven’t played it long… very addictive though)

    #9 | Comment by WP — November 19, 2003 @ 1:05 am

  10. oops didnt read the comments in my overly enthousiastic post…

    #10 | Comment by WP — November 19, 2003 @ 1:07 am

  11. Ahh life is sweet when addressed by Stal, who is the most desirable woman in the universe. Modding an Xbox, my god you can’t be that perfect. If you like contact sports and MTBing I may lose it! That card is my 2nd favorite part of the post, I’m sure that I’ll be getting it this year from one of my friends given that its oddly appropriate for me. Please post more often, I’m not above begging! By the way, I’m really trustworthy.

    #11 | Comment by bligityblah — November 19, 2003 @ 3:25 am

  12. bligity- i dont own an xbox so i have not modded an xbox. i dont have all kinds of $ 🙁 luckily i know people with modded xboxii so i know a little bit about it & get to take advantage of theirs whenever i feel like it. and much to your dismay, i am probably the least athletic person alive, ever. i don’t even enjoy spectator sports. (me + sports = no). i watched one game of ice hockey live once (FL panthers) and the atmosphere was sort of thrilling, but that’s about the closest i’ve ever been to "enjoying" sports. i am probably this way because i have never been talented at throwing, catching, aiming, or any of that other nonsense–so i always sucked at sports and they make me inadequate 🙁 hehe (i know, boo fucking hoo). ah well, sorry to disappoint you man.

    WP- i would not be surprised in the least if you whooped my ass in gb. i play it, but i don’t claim to be any good at it. i’m almost a metal axe but sometimes i get beat by chicks (when the bastards team up on me, anyway >:O).

    #12 | Comment by crystal — November 19, 2003 @ 3:42 am

  13. The atmosphere of the games is one of the key elements so with a little direction you could like hockey. As far as not being talented at sports, I used to run kiddie clinics so I could teach you how to skate like a pro. Just the fact that you know what modding a game console is makes me swoon like a 13yr old at a Nsync concert. I’m so not disappointed, after all you mentioned me before Smash :-).

    #13 | Comment by bligityblah — November 19, 2003 @ 3:55 am

  14. Bligity-

    I could throw you under the bus by stressing that you ARE a 13 year old who attends Nsync concerts, but I won’t. 🙂 I’m just thrilled in my naughty parts with the mention at all. (And I have noticed that I get mentioned in all of her posts, except one)

    Nice attempt at the casual ‘I’m really trustworthy’ .. glad to see she ignored it.

    Unforunately, Stal’s too old for my pedophilic side to take over and get the best of me and Stal’s probably too young for the more realistic side of me to take over and salivate. Also, she lives in Florida, and ummm…inexplicably, I hate Florida (but not the people).

    Ah well. More rambling…

    #14 | Comment by smash — November 19, 2003 @ 4:10 am

  15. I hate being transparent!

    I’m not actually that far behind you on the age chart so stop with that too old crap. Last thing I need is one more reason why I should be wearing a jacket that locks in the back. As far as being mentioned more than me I have a very mature answer: Nana nana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo.

    #15 | Comment by bligityblah — November 19, 2003 @ 4:27 am

  16. Is it just me, or is anyone else seriously intrigued at Crystal’s knowledge of vaginal flavoring techniques? I sense she has done extensive research in this area. I’m impressed.

    She also might make goofy vids of herself dancing. Maybe Justin can talk her into doing a Crip Walk and/or Cabbage Patch for us (fully clothed). That’d be cool.

    #16 | Comment by grud — November 19, 2003 @ 4:40 am

  17. I’m going out on a limb here saying her research is a result of the medical condition known as being "female". Yes, I have nothing better to do than refresh FUBAR. Yeah so what, wanna fight about it?

    #17 | Comment by bligityblah — November 19, 2003 @ 4:44 am

  18. well, i don’t have a goofy vid of stal dancing but i do have an audio clip of her SINGING.



    #18 | Comment by Justin — November 19, 2003 @ 4:49 am

  19. RELEASE IT!!!!! RELEASE IT!!! I wanna hear her sweet and tender voice!

    #19 | Comment by WP — November 19, 2003 @ 4:55 am

  20. oh my GOD no you do NOT 😮

    which one??? jesus christ.

    i have the worst singing voice EVER. i play SPORTS better than i sing. and i do both better than i dance, so i’m really a rather sorry sap.

    #20 | Comment by crystal — November 19, 2003 @ 5:29 am

  21. "which one??? jesus christ."

    HA! There’s more than ONE! 🙂

    Okay. I’d say post the sucker for public consumption! Also, I suspect crystal is 51% guy, and 49% chick… or she grew up with 12 brothers.

    Either way, my kind of girl. I gotta admit though, NO AIM chemistry… sorry 🙁

    #21 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — November 19, 2003 @ 6:15 am

  22. Sexcrazedweasel-

    You just walk into this shit, don’t you? Your kind of girl would be one that is more guy than girl, wouldn’t it?

    Gay ass.

    #22 | Comment by smash — November 19, 2003 @ 8:06 am

  23. Give him a break smash, some of those neckerchief/5 o’clock wearing chicks can be hot…..or not.

    #23 | Comment by bligityblah — November 19, 2003 @ 8:19 am

  24. Smash –

    Not really. I just figured the joke was old enough where I didn’t have to put in the usual disclaimer. I’d just say you weren’t gracious enough to "keep walking" is all. However, as long as it keeps entertaining you, I’m happy to oblige.

    #24 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — November 19, 2003 @ 8:53 am

  25. never was a tomboy and only have one brother (who is younger).

    i used to make .wav’s with my friends a long time ago so there are actually several where we’re all goofing off. the one justin has is scary though. like it’s really horrible. and i really don’t want him posting it. :p

    #25 | Comment by crystal — November 19, 2003 @ 9:45 am

  26. If i went into the tampon business, i’d be rich.

    #26 | Comment by P. Orno Rocks — November 19, 2003 @ 10:25 am

  27. it’s skiddily doop skiddily doop skiddily doop.

    #27 | Comment by scentless — November 19, 2003 @ 10:53 am

  28. thanks for the correction, scentless

    it’s been a long time since i’ve seen that movie.. too long 🙁

    #28 | Comment by crystal — November 19, 2003 @ 11:04 am

  29. crystal…. yay.

    #29 | Comment by embus — November 19, 2003 @ 11:37 am

  30. Sucks. That’s why I wrote my own blogging system, bloody geek. 😉

    #30 | Comment by Suburban Wolf — November 19, 2003 @ 11:52 am

  31. aww, i just heard smashy poo and bligity’s voices

    (among others)

    (justin directed me to do a little archive search for ‘voicemail’)

    (like the american that i am(?)) I HAVE GOTTEN MY PREEMPTIVE REVENGE!

    you guys don’t sound like old men.

    anyway, i want to do a duet with justin. c’mon justin, you know that sounds like so much fun 😀

    just kidding.

    ….or am i?

    #31 | Comment by crystal — November 19, 2003 @ 12:06 pm

  32. Justin: isn’t desirable a bit of a understatement.

    #32 | Comment by matt — November 19, 2003 @ 12:32 pm

  33. ‘stal = you rule. On so many levels.

    #33 | Comment by sexcrazedweasel — November 19, 2003 @ 12:51 pm

  34. duet? ahahahaha. oh how i wish. believe me, it would be an honor but with this voice of mine and my non singing ablility, that duet would probably turn out to be THE most goofiest thing ever next to that clip i have of you singing ‘i touch myself’. heehee.

    man, i can’t believe i missed the mellow yellow one. re-record!

    #34 | Comment by Justin — November 19, 2003 @ 1:14 pm

  35. hell no. duet, maybe. we’ll talk.

    #35 | Comment by crystal — November 19, 2003 @ 1:33 pm

  36. Crystal –

    You can hear my voice any time you want; I’ll give ya my cell number!!! (How’s that for a blatant come-on, Bligityblah!)

    BTW – if Justin is like me, you’d sooner get me singing than get me dancing. There’s not enough beer / liquor in this world to get this white boy out there on the dance floor.

    #36 | Comment by smash — November 19, 2003 @ 3:07 pm

  37. Damn you smash, the few years you have on me leave me at a disadvantage. I almost went ahead and posted my cellphone number.

    #37 | Comment by bligityblah — November 19, 2003 @ 3:13 pm

  38. Ahahahahaa. If you are younger than I am (and considering no one has challenged Justin’s claim that I am the resident old man / pedophile) you probably stand a better shot of hooking-up with ‘Stal than I.

    Unless she’s got one of those Daddy-Complexes (hey…I’m not old enough to be her Dad. Maybe its a ‘Guy who’s old enough to be a sexy older brother complex’)

    #38 | Comment by smash — November 19, 2003 @ 3:22 pm

  39. Gunbound rules… what about this fan-art?


    #39 | Comment by WP — November 19, 2003 @ 8:19 pm


    #40 | Comment by D — November 19, 2003 @ 8:53 pm

  41. D –

    Fuck off. Learn to use WinMX, Morpheus, KaZaa, Bearshare. Otherwise, get a time machine and go back two over 2 years ago. Why should Justin waste bandwidth for your lazy ass? He needs to preserve it for people like Bligityblah and I who ‘refresh’ fubar over and over and over and rape his bandwidth.

    #41 | Comment by smash — November 19, 2003 @ 9:38 pm

  42. Thats right we’re waiting for NEW porn!

    #42 | Comment by WP — November 19, 2003 @ 10:16 pm

  43. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Natalie Portman………

    #43 | Comment by Filbert — November 20, 2003 @ 2:33 am

  44. hehe. i’ve actually have slightly higher res and slightly closer up versions of those portman pics. was going to dedicate a post to them but i guess i just got lazy. :o)

    i’ll post again soon dont worry.

    #44 | Comment by Justin — November 20, 2003 @ 2:39 am

  45. Justin’s always one step ahead…..darn.

    #45 | Comment by grud — November 20, 2003 @ 2:52 am

  46. okay i have decided that i am far too lazy to dedicate a whole post to natalie portman’s nipples but i will share with you this one unintentionally funny pic.

    it says "push" on the door! not on her breast!

    #46 | Comment by Justin — November 20, 2003 @ 3:31 am

  47. I’ll bet she has SPS.

    #47 | Comment by grud — November 20, 2003 @ 4:09 am

  48. Amy,

    solicit a response away from crystal. You probably stand a better shot with her than any of us. Somehow I think, based on past photos of crystal, that she’s up for some equal opportunity flirting.

    #48 | Comment by smash — November 20, 2003 @ 4:25 am

  49. Amy – do I sound that pathetic, anyway? i figured it had some level of charm with the self-deprication.

    Oh, and to whomever…what the fuck happened to Natalie Portman? Her face is growing longer uncontrollably.

    #49 | Comment by smash — November 20, 2003 @ 4:28 am

  50. mmmmmmm… Amy and Crystal hotsexx. All night long.

    I’m going to go take a quick shower.

    #50 | Comment by embus — November 20, 2003 @ 4:28 am

  51. btw Crystal, you should come visit me in California… I want to show you something…

    #51 | Comment by embus — November 20, 2003 @ 4:34 am

  52. Wasn’t Ms. Portman going to stop being in movies and start being a shrink?

    If I were someone whose fame might attract crazy people, I wouldn’t be in a situation where I was a good deal more likely to actually meet them.

    Maybe she wants to be a high profile shrink, the kind that doesn’t actually make you feel better.

    #52 | Comment by Seriously — November 20, 2003 @ 4:45 am

  53. here’s the rest of the portman pics. hosting them offsite for now. trying to conserve my bandwidth. oh and dont be surprised if the site dies within the next week or so. if it does, don’t worry, it’ll be back up by the 1st.

    also, i scrolled off about 5 days worth of posts from the main index page. just to lighten the load.

    portman pics are here:


    #53 | Comment by Justin — November 20, 2003 @ 5:04 am

  54. Nice pics, damn I love this site!

    #54 | Comment by KEvin — November 20, 2003 @ 8:48 am

  55. natalie is so hot.
    she doesn’t even require my patented dip-n-sniff test.

    #55 | Comment by scentless — November 20, 2003 @ 8:51 am

  56. bligity — I’m afraid I have no suggestions. I don’t envy the position men are put in… I apparently have no game. 🙁

    smash — no, not too pathetic. And self-deprecation can be very charming indeed. Whether it’s pathetically charming, or charmingly pathetic, I’m not quite sure. 😛

    #56 | Comment by Amy — November 20, 2003 @ 10:50 am

  57. hmmm…. How to solicit a response from Stal without sounding as pathetic as you horny bastards….

    Nope, I got nothing. 😀

    #57 | Comment by Amy — November 20, 2003 @ 12:01 pm

  58. Amy, you can do better than that. 😉

    For all you horny Natalie Portman lovers (I know, I know, she’s above the age of 12)….check these out for neeeeeeeepulz:

    #58 | Comment by grud — November 20, 2003 @ 12:09 pm

  59. Amy,
    I’m in the same boat, any suggestions are much appreciated.

    #59 | Comment by bligityblah — November 20, 2003 @ 12:23 pm

  60. Amy-
    As long as charming is in there somewhere…and some woman takes note…what the hell do I care?

    #60 | Comment by smash — November 20, 2003 @ 5:40 pm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *