Crank

[eamon angelface]

No I don't.

Everything he said about Aces can be applied to Crank, the difference being one was well crafted and the other was phoned in.

Then Mao had his period. It got everywhere.

Keep reverting to Ticker fucknut. It makes you look like a real aficionado.

And Lock Stock! Wow...you must have like a film degree to compare two action oriented noir pics.

The plot in Aces unfolds well because it's based IN the action. The action is what drives the plot. Crank was total crap. As soon as Statham delivered the great line "yeah yeah yeah" as a response I knew they didn't take any time with it or put in the necessary effort.

Smash, you should know better. I likes me some action flicks but I'm hardly limited to them.

Though I don't comment on the films AND the movies like Mao. Der. However I do breath the oxygen AND the air. weeeeee

You judge for yourself Smash. Aces isn't reliant solely on the device laid out in the trailer at all. There are established character relationships and plot points held within them. There's palpable tension. Mao pointed out he didn't care about Buddy Aces Israel. You weren't supposed to you stupid prat. The characters who got the sympathy were the ones after him. Then you somehow felt said weren't developed enough even though Ryan Reynolds had more screen time than Jeremy Piven and more lines.

So suck my fat one. I may not make a lot of friends here but you're totally dispensable. Your reviews are like a grade 8 book report.

If you want to try and sound smart I think you're going to have to either finish that degree or start ripping off people with brains. On your own you're dead in the water kid.

Smash, there is very much a discernible plot. There's a great twist. It's not just thrown in, it's built up right from the very beginning. I enjoyed it and Crank was a waste of fucking time.

Mao's just being a bitch because he likes the taste of his own tears.

That's code for how does your own ass taste you half wit retard.

Next time you want to jump into a tyraid because someone doesn't agree with you I suggest you pick on someone else. I just shit on you without even looking at the screen. I'm watching Pusher 2. Yes I know that's hardly the movie to be watching while saying I'm not all about violence and bewbies but that's what I had one when I popped in here.

btw Smash: Narc may be based in Michigan but it was filmed in good old Toronto.

[smash]

Narc was filmed in Toronto? I didn't know that.

To comment on the Crank plot... I haven't seen Crank either, despite my favorite trannies post telling me "Go. see. now."

I will watch Crank eventually...but I fear the same things on both movies.

I guess I'm a film snob. Except really I'm not. There's lots of crap I enjoy and I still recognize it as crap.

[Seriously]

So I was wondering if I should rent The Departed.


I already have Infernal Affairs.



EDIT:

Also, A Scanner Darkly.

As in renting, I don't already have it.

[eamon angelface]

The Departed is FAR better than Infernal Affairs.

Yes you should see it.

And if you like HK movies get yourself Election and Election 2. Both make Infernal Affairs look like Alone in the Dark.

[UncleMao]

the difference being one was well crafted and the other was phoned in...

Well-crafted just because there was enough blood and disengaged limbs to fool you into thinking it was 'good?' and the pans and dollys didn't jitter around like your crack whore mother on the shakes?

I'm sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself here.

Nobody pays your mom.

Keep reverting to Ticker fucknut. It makes you look like a real aficionado.

And Lock Stock! Wow...you must have like a film degree to compare two action oriented noir pics.

Compare noir? Get a fucking clue. It's typical of a complete assmouth to call anything with bullets and quote 'cool' language Noir.

'To Live and Die in LA' was noir. 'Brick' was noir. Hell, 'Casablanca' was noir. You, the fucking target market segment for 'Epic movie', wouldn't know noir if it came in your mouth and made you the little spoon in 'C' Block.

Like I said before, to which you chose to ignore, just because you think your scattershooting BS smokescreen will detract people from the fact that while I stated proper reasons for disliking the films I disliked. You, went on webbed-fingered rant after rant just being an arsehole with no clear indication for why you dislike films.

Now I can agree to disagree, if there is a proper argument and not ''OMGTHISFUCKINSHITSUX!!!1111' fucking innane drivel.

You, clownshoes fucking one-nut dipstick, are of the latter persuasion.

I disliked Carnahan's latest effort because it was hardly coherent. It was a fucking genre crossing mess. A mess with a tacked on ending. Yes, he can allude to certain plot points in the front that doesn't mean a half bucket of horse-shit.

What with the whole flashback FBI plastic surgery lecture and all, all of a sudden, booya.. Stupid Mission Impossible scar guy is Ace's rescuer, and Ace is supposed to give precious life to the old Mob douchebag.

Oh my god, fucking brilliant Jesus. What a fantastic film.

Give me a fucking break.

Then again the homo-erotic Aryan junkies might have struck some kind of cord in you on a personal level. Heinz DeBaron Cockmunch fantasies - I wouldn't be surprised because of your blatant faggotry.

The film was badly assembled and badly written. I like blood and guns and f-bombs dropping left right centre. The content, however has to be cohesive.

Smoking Aces wasn't. Yes it is cool to have Affleck taking a big chunk of dialogue in the first 20 minutes and then having the fucker killed out of nowhere. It's fresh. It's original.

So it's not as if I say a film cannot have merits and still be shit. Unlike your fucking "'I hate Children of Men' because it has no resolution. The whole film fucking sucks sucks sucks" illiterate goatball licking rant.

The plot in Aces unfolds well because it's based IN the action. The action is what drives the plot...

Two black hotwomen go to off Aces. One goes across the street with an anti tank gun, the other is trapped in the lift with murdered Ray Liotta. Shit happens, Alicia Keyes goes off with Ace's house nigger while she leaves her friend to get shot up to shit by the cops. <-- This advances the plot, how?

A bunch of Neo-Nazi Assballsface triplets shoot up bail bondsmen Affleck and Co. They enter the hotel, shoot shit up, kill a bunch of people. Chainsaw 'roid using mensch slips up and ends up sawing off his own leg.
<---- This advances the plot, how?

One of Afflecks 'dead' buddies ends up in a log cabin (what the fuck) where a well meaning granny and her Ritalin taking fucking Martial Arts boner fucking howler monkey of a grandkid hassles and bitch talks Affleck's bud. He casually borrows their gun, going back to the hotel less 3 fingers to end up killing the last of the Nazi muffins. He goes home after. <-- Plot how?

If you say the plot is put on hold for about an hour while graphic violence. Fucking pointless graphic violence happens, and then picks up the vague semblance of story about an hour after, and then tacks on a rushed job of 'what really was happening is THIS' flashback backstory montage spliced bullshit to kind of fool you to thinking there was a point to the whole mess, then maybe you're on the right track.

Though I don't comment on the films AND the movies like Mao.
Der. However I do breath the oxygen AND the air. weeeeee

You spend the most time here posting, cockwart. And you want to comment on how I spend my time here?

You judge for yourself Smash.

Smash isn't your mommy. Even he isn't that ugly.

Or butch.

Then you somehow felt said weren't developed enough even though Ryan Reynolds had more screen time than Jeremy Piven and more lines.

I see. This is the Ryan Reynold who basically did nothing till Ray Liotta's character got killed in the elevator. Which puts it about 2/3rds through the film. Who subsequently has a little gunfight outside the lift with the crazy anti-tank gun woman from the hotel over. Cue the histrionics of corpse hugging and 'WHY?' introspective hand-wringing tears.

The Ryan Reynolds who then goes to the hospital and trades asides with Andy Garcia for about 10 or 15 minutes, then pulls the plug on two stiffs and puts his head in his hands before the end credits.

Holy fuck. I am so totally like, golf clapping now. What a ROBUST character. Wow. Fuck me, ebert. I have been enlightened.

Now if you say Reynolds acted well, then I couldn't disagree. He did well with what he had. Developed as a character?

Obviously you need another glass pipe, you're getting all flustered missing it.

So suck my fat one.

I prefer my clits on women.

or start ripping off people with brains.

Well, I guess you're shit out of luck in that department.

And I like how you try to suck up to Smash. Dude fucking hates you more than I do but on you go, middle finger in the air with one hand while you desperately jerk him off with the other.

If your mother only knew what a sad little girl you'd turn out to be, she would have gone anal instead.

But of course, it's not a real issue in the ghett--ho.

And in summation, guess what?

You're still a dumb-as-fuck trolling little git. You're arguments are still worth jack-shit. You can't make a proper argument even if your sex-change depended on it.

And everyone still hates you. You can still shit everywhere and pretend this means you have some worth here. But really, you are just the white noise in the unending nowhere-ness of your life.

: O

You are less than nothing.

[eamon angelface]

Did you even watch the movie?

Now I know why you didn't like it...YOU COULDN'T EVEN FOLLOW IT!!

That is so sad, pathetic, and comical I don't know where to begin?

So the ending was thrown in...mm hmmm even though that montage tied right back to the one in the opening when the FBI agent was first explained.

Then they explained how Jeremy Piven's character was brought up through the ranks.

Don't forget the references in THE FIRST SCENE with RYAN REYNOLDS where they talk about the huge 1 million dollar price tag.

I see. This is the Ryan Reynold who basically did nothing till Ray Liotta's character got killed in the elevator.

You mean when the action scenes start and everyone starts doing "something"? So you don't like the action or you only consider the movie as happening when there is action? Make up your mind you fucking retard.

Compare noir? Get a fucking clue. It's typical of a complete assmouth to call anything with bullets and quote 'cool' language Noir.

'To Live and Die in LA' was noir. 'Brick' was noir. Hell, 'Casablanca' was noir. You, the fucking target market segment for 'Epic movie', wouldn't know noir if it came in your mouth and made you the little spoon in 'C' Block.

Get back to class little fella. Or switch schools and get a real degree. You can rhyme off all the movies you think you're better for knowing till your pink in the crotch. Noir specific elements are all you have to draw comparison on. You're the one who went off "BMW films blah blah blah..." as if anyone hasn't seen them. No you're privileged cause you're such an educated enthusiast. Keep reaching for that rainbow, superfan. It's a typical observation that say all your little bitchling comments are only relating movies in the same genre to the effect of trying to show off like you know anything what so ever. You don't.

Well-crafted just because there was enough blood and disengaged limbs to fool you into thinking it was 'good?' and the pans and dollys didn't jitter around like your crack whore mother on the shakes?

Crank uses the shaking camera device 1000 times more than Aces or any other movie for that matter. So you're pooched again limp dick.

Bravo on the house nigger comment. Between that and you're recognition that you found the Aryans erotic I'd say you have some soul searching to do.

Thanks for going point by mis-interpreted point so outline for everyone how you couldn't follow a simple Hollywood movie. *golf clap for Corky*. So you liked Crank better because there were none of those confusing 'talky word' parts.

Two black hotwomen go to off Aces. One goes across the street with an anti tank gun, the other is trapped in the lift with murdered Ray Liotta. Shit happens, Alicia Keyes goes off with Ace's house nigger while she leaves her friend to get shot up to shit by the cops.

A) Liotta wasn't dead yet. You're a retard.

B) How does that advance the plot? Well the sexual tension that predicated the whole scene you just spoiled was what was being outlined here. One girl was a love struck lesbian and the other was better half of a one sided relationship. In the end the closure was brought about when she left with one of the other characters in the ensemble cast. Again you're a retard.

A bunch of Neo-Nazi Assballsface triplets shoot up bail bondsmen Affleck and Co. They enter the hotel, shoot shit up, kill a bunch of people. Chainsaw 'roid using mensch slips up and ends up sawing off his own leg.

They don't get to Israel and it leads to the two characters mentioned above getting away. Again you're a retard.

One of Afflecks 'dead' buddies ends up in a log cabin (what the fuck) where a well meaning granny and her Ritalin taking fucking Martial Arts boner fucking howler monkey of a grandkid hassles and bitch talks Affleck's bud. He casually borrows their gun, going back to the hotel less 3 fingers to end up killing the last of the Nazi muffins.

Closure on the "Nazi" characters. The other two of the 3 fingered Henderson entourage were there to initially outline the story as we're supposed to know it in the beginning. The Tremor brothers obviously can't win. So the two are tied together and both are sewn shut nicely. Again you're a retard.

eamon angelface wrote:
Though I don't comment on the films AND the movies like Mao.
Der. However I do breath the oxygen AND the air. weeeeee


You spend the most time here posting, cockwart. And you want to comment on how I spend my time here?

Not surprisingly you missed the point. I was making fun of your pansy wanna be anything ass because you made th distinction of saying "films and movies". They're the same thing. Fags and pseudo elitist douchebags say film. Exclusively. Again you're a retard.

Sucking up to Smash? Hardly. I'm just telling him to ignore your opinions like everyone else does after they're done laughing at your "reviews".

After all that all you did was back my point of view. And you took like 2 fucking weeks to do it.

You're such a dispensable irritant. You have demonstrated absolutely ZERO understanding of movies in this thread and every other you've posed/posted in.

After all that spoiling I guess I might as well throw another one in. Aces is the mobster's (who is actually the FBI agent) son and he's dying so they need Aces heart transplanted to keep the FBI/mobster alive long enough to get all the info they can on the mob out of him. So the twist is none of the people after Israel are trying to kill him they're trying to capture him before he gets his deal from the FBI and disappears.

vs. guys gets injected with a mysterious magical Chinese drug that will kill him if he stops moving so he runs around and hilarity ensues. Oh and he has a helper monkey who is gay. That means he likes other men! How zany. And that's pretty much it. No angle. Nothing moving the plot along beyond him not being able to find a cure for himself or find the guys who did it to him. The movie could have been 10 minutes or 10 hours with that set up.

So there you have it. Mao is a failure and should have stayed in his seat.

Again, he's a retard.

You have no ground to stand you shaky little chicken legs on.

Back to Blockbuster for you. Work hard and maybe you'll be an assistant manager some day.

[eamon angelface]

Did you ever see either or both Smash?

Which one did you like better?

[smash]

Did you ever see either or both Smash?

Which one did you like better?

I only saw the Departed, once.

I never saw Infernal Affairs. Though I would watch it if given an opportunity.

BTW - I've heard from a number of people that The Departed is better the second time around. I never got a clear reason from anyone as to why, but it is a pretty universal comment I've heard.

I suppose I should rewatch that too.

[eamon angelface]

I meant Crank vs. Smokin Aces.

Departed is better than Infernal Affairs on so many levels.

Nope. Not seen either. I need to watch Crank on Angelbaby's recommendation....so I can make fun of her

[eamon angelface]

...I'm just going to crawl out on this limb here and assume you saw Crank as the disastrous piece of dog shit that it is and Smokin Aces as the fun action movie I know it to be? Or do I still have the tastes of a wretched philistine?

[smash]

...I'm just going to crawl out on this limb here and assume you saw Crank as the disastrous piece of dog shit that it is and Smokin Aces as the fun action movie I know it to be? Or do I still have the tastes of a wretched philistine?

I thought I re-answered this...but apparently I didn't. My apologies.

I've added both to me 'to do' list. I swear I will watch eventually. I even owe Angelbaby a 'Crank' watching on her recommendation.

[efilflah]

Smokin' Aces was dire man.

It took itself way too seriously. Crank, though also dire, was at least not trying to be anything more than it was .... a stupid film, with stupid excuses to blow shit up in gun fights.

Smokin' Aces on the other hand, actually tried to give off the impression that it was deep. Which it wasn't. It was just another half assed attempt at using a specific directing style and star power to magnify the credibility of what was essentially a bigger budget straight to dvd movie starring people like Patrick Bergin and Don Swayze (the acting was about on par anyway).

The dialogue was awful too. I hate when films have actors with no charisma trying to pull of these awful backstory monologues and dialogues with their equally dull and poorly written conversation partners. It's like the director had just finished reading a guide on how to make movie characters more REAL, or something, it's so transparant and it just doesn't work, not when the characters themselves are so poorly presented.

My memory in general is pretty bad, but I can still remember how dumbfounded I was that people actually liked this tripe (is tripe actually any good?...never tried it).

[smash]

Smokin' Aces was dire man.

It took itself way too seriously. Crank, though also dire, was at least not trying to be anything more than it was .... a stupid film, with stupid excuses to blow shit up in gun fights.

Smokin' Aces on the other hand, actually tried to give off the impression that it was deep. Which it wasn't. It was just another half assed attempt at using a specific directing style and star power to magnify the credibility of what was essentially a bigger budget straight to dvd movie starring people like Patrick Bergin and Don Swayze (the acting was about on par anyway).

The dialogue was awful too. I hate when films have actors with no charisma trying to pull of these awful backstory monologues and dialogues with their equally dull and poorly written conversation partners. It's like the director had just finished reading a guide on how to make movie characters more REAL, or something, it's so transparant and it just doesn't work, not when the characters themselves are so poorly presented.

My memory in general is pretty bad, but I can still remember how dumbfounded I was that people actually liked this tripe (is tripe actually any good?...never tried it).

Yes, this is my fear. Eamon says it's not the case. Mao says it is. I think Dex said so too.

I trust none of you.

[UncleMao]

Then fucking go watch it already you filthy old git.

The fate of all Cybertron and the known universe rests in your filthy opinion.