OVER THE PAST TWO WEEKS.
Total Overdose: Pretty mediocre Grand Theft Auto style game. But with a Mexican flavor. Sort of like Robert Rodriguez meets GTA. Nothing special. A rental at best.
Metal Gear Solid 3: I just bought this because i sold my old copy for store credit back when i was in the states. Figured i’d trade it in since i could always just re-buy it for super cheap over here. One of the best games of 2004. Buy it if you haven’t already.
Fahrenheit: I FUCKING LOVE THIS GAME. One of the best games i’ve played this year. I haven’t loved a game this much since Beyond Good & Evil back in 2003. And coincidently, they’re both French games. So why do i love this game so much? TITS AND ASS!!!! AND BUSH!!!!! That’s right, this game has it all. BUT. You only get it all if you have the European version (which is what i have. the game is called Indigo Prophecy in the US and they took out all the sex scenes!!!! FUCKING PRUDES!!!!!). The European version is awesome because it’s got Hot Coffee action. And the Hot Coffee… SOOOOO much better than fucking GTAs. Plus, the chick you get to control in the game, Carla Valenti, SOOOO fucking hot. So hot that she was even in Playboy (she looks a lot better in the game though. she gets nekkid in it too. i saw her titty!!!! but who the fuck rendered her for that Playboy spread anyway? fucking amateur…). I love this game. BUY IT.
Evil Dead Regeneration: Best Evil Dead game out so far. You get both Bruce Campbell and Ted Raimi (playing a half-deadite midget named Sam) doing the voices and the dialogue between those two is hilarious. Plus any game where you get to literally kick you midget sidekick around has to be good. I think this game only costs like 20 bucks. Of course, i only got it for 2.50 but what do you expect, it’s bootleg copy. Get it if only for the extras you get to unlock. I’d buy anything with Bruce Campbell in it.
Sonic Gems Collection: Stupid. Don’t buy this. I only bought it because it had Sonic CD on it. And it doesn’t even have the opening movie OR the Japanese soundtrack (which is so much better than the US version). It’s got a whole bunch of other Sonic games on it. Like that Sonic fighting games, some Sonic racing games that came out on the Game Gear etc etc. All crap. Don’t buy this.
Ultimate Spider-Man: Good game. Neat-o comic book like graphics. Okay so i haven’t really played this game at all. But i did play test it for like 2 minutes. i’ve only played the part where you fight Venom on the football field at school or something.
Spartan Total Warrior: Eh. Played it for like 10 minutes. God of War is much better. Buy God of War instead.
L.A. Rush: Wow. This game has pretty sweet graphics. Even on the PS2. I’m still not sure what to think about the new engine though. It isn’t anything like the old San Francisco Rush games (San Francisco Rush 2049 on the Dreamcast was the FUCKING BEST). It more like Burnout meets Need For Speed Underground 2 meets Midnight Club 3. I’ve only played a coupla races and i have to say, it’s not bad! Give it a rental. Can’t recommend it until i’ve given it some more playtime. I mean, shit, i’m still using the hunk of junk you get in the beginning of the game. I need to go PIMP THAT RIDE. Like, literally. Because the guys from West Coast Customs are actually in the game. No Xzibit though.
Soul Calibur 3: Buy it. I mean, come on… it’s SOUL CALIBUR 3.
100 Bullets: Don’t buy it. Actually.. i don’t think this game is even out yet. But don’t buy it anyway. It sucks.
FIFA Soccer 06: Like FIFA? Buy it. Don’t like FIFA? Then buy Winning Eleven 9 or Pro Evolution Soccer 5 instead.
NHL 06: I was surprised to see that they actually included NHL 94 with the game. Kinda wished it was NHL 93 though. They took the blood out starting from 94.
NBA 06: Haven’t played it.
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06: Still as solid as ever. If you liked last years version, then you’ll probably like this years.
Madden 06: PIECE OF SHIT. Don’t buy it. That new field of view passing thing, fucking stupid. I hate this game. I hate EA for killing the NFL 2K series.
Amityville Horror: Rachel Nichols was really slutty in this movie. And Ryan Reynolds… HOT. Oh the movie… the movie was okay i guess. But i thought..
House of Wax: …was much better. And i was actually pretty impressed by Paris Hilton’s acting…! So much that i even thought about fapping to her sex tape after watching the movie (but i didn’t). Okay the movie was kinda slow going at first, but once you get the last two thirds of the movie, wow! That whole house of wax set piece at the end was pretty damn impressive! I haven’t gotten around to watching all the extras but i remember looking through the extras menus and seeing a whole bunch of them. And there’s also like a video commentary thing where you get to see the cast sitting on a couch and watching like some B roll and commenting on it. Oh ya, i don’t think this DVD is even out yet. Comes out next week on the 25th i think. I bought my copy last week for like 3.50. LOLZ i love bootlegs.
Dead and Breakfast: HAHAHA i love this movie. It’s stupidly good. Let me just say this… if you liked Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive (or Braindead depending where you live) and Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead movies, then you’ll probably love this flick. It’s weird, it’s kooky, it’s super gory. It’s great. Oh and Gina Phillips is so fucking hot (she’s the chick in the first Jeepers Creepers movie), i want to have sexual intercourse with her. HOT. FUCKING HOTTTTT. I love her. Loved her in Jeepers Creepers too.
SOCOM 3: IS FUCKING AWESOME. Buy it.
SSX On Tour: i thought it was a lot better than SSX3. I still like SSX Tricky better though. But i love the presentation on this new game. It’s awesome. I say buy this game. Oh and the music is pretty sweet too. Better than most of the EA TRAX selections on other EA games.
Burnout Revenge: Okay so i forgot to take a picture of this one. But i got it. And… i don’t like it as much as Burnout 3. Why? Because of the fucking traffic checking. Takes all the skill out of the game. I mean, why dodge same way traffic when you can just ram ’em? Stupid. I better not see this stupid new feature in the next Burnout game. Take that shit out.
Grand total spent on buying all these games and DVDs: US$52.51
Grand total spent if YOU were to buy these games and DVDs: probably like US$900+
Hahahahahaha.
its true. fareheit does rock
first?
please god say im first.
#1 | Comment by pevee — October 21, 2005 @ 12:32 am
If I was going to buy these games and DVDs? Why would I ever buy anything when the interweb has it for free?
#2 | Comment by Fartin' Gary — October 21, 2005 @ 12:34 am
because downloading games and dvds from the internets is illegal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#3 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 12:37 am
SSX is good? I wasn’t the biggest fan of SSX3, but absolutely LOVED tricky. I might have to get that one. I actually like the passing in madden, b/c if you change to a receiver at the last second, they usually come open… defense following the QB’s eyes and stuff.
#4 | Comment by George — October 21, 2005 @ 12:42 am
on tour is pretty good. feels different. it’s the presentation. the menus and shit. very rock and roll. i also have the PSP version (now that game i downloaded) but yeah, tricky was the shit. i loved all the celebrity voice acting. who did the voice for the hot chick? i think it was lucy liu. can’t remember.
the new passing in madden pisses me off. i hate it. i get sacked like 9 out of 10 times. or maybe i just suck.
NFL 2k5 for life!!!!
#5 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 12:51 am
Sonic hater…
And I completly agree with you about Konami’s Winning Eleven over EA’s FIFA.
All my friends think FIFA is better, but, theyre idiots. Winning Eleven may not have all the teams and stupid “world” licensed music, but it makes up for it with better gameplay and in my opinion, better graphics.
FC Barcelona scores!!111! Isss pwnsss usss fukerrrrsss!!!11!!
Oh, and Sega DC for Life!!!!
PS Does anyone know when Shenmue 3 is coming out? I was one of the few who loved Shemue on DC enough to import the European version (Seeing how the US version came out on the X Box)Any news?
#6 | Comment by Zahid — October 21, 2005 @ 1:23 am
playing Indigo at the moment too. Another thing dumbed down for the US. Fahrenheit was a much better title.
No sex either. Bastards. Just make all the games AO so I don’t have to listen to the whiners “protecting” their kiddies. The same whiners who buy them guns and take them to R rated killfests.
#7 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — October 21, 2005 @ 1:31 am
i LOVE the part where you get to have sex with your ex girlfriend. you have to say and do all the right things first though. i got it all on the first try. needless to say there was sexing in the bedroom at the end of the sequence. what shocked me was that you actually controlled the thrusting using the analogue sticks!!!!!!
and holy shit, that ex girlfriend of his is a moaner.
oh ya, later in the game you get to walk in on a fat guy doing a whore (bush!) and at near the end of the game, there’s a carla sex scene where you get to see her titty!!!!
oh ya there’s also a carla shower scene near the beginning of the game (boobs!!!!)
not sure if any of these scenes are in the US version of the game at all.
#8 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 1:37 am
I was intrigued with “Farenheit” and I read some previews and reviews online. One thing I came across was that the protaganist Tyler Miles has a gf. I could be wrong, but I assume the Hot Coffee esque scene is with Tyler and Carla
Does that mean you get to cheat on your girlfriend with your co-worker? Hawt…
#9 | Comment by Zahid — October 21, 2005 @ 1:38 am
ex-girlfriend scene is completely gone. played that guitar for nothing!
#10 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — October 21, 2005 @ 1:39 am
#1 – I was first but Justin deleted my comment ’cause I was snarky.
To play Fahrenheit in the U.S., do you have to have a region-free Xbox and a PAL TV? Not sure how that works.
#11 | Comment by Nerima — October 21, 2005 @ 1:40 am
or you could buy it as a PC import from Gogamer.com
#12 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — October 21, 2005 @ 1:41 am
tylers girlfriend is fucking whiny. although i think if you play the game right, she’ll do a table dance for you. or a lap dance. not sure. i’ve seen screenshots where it looks like she’s doing a table dance.
this game is so much like a movie it’s amazing. in fact, it doesn’t even say ‘START GAME’ in the menu. it says start movie. and the tutorial mode, you’re actually training on a movie set and the game’s director is teaching you all your moves and stuff.
#13 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 1:41 am
I found the deleted Carla scene of her straddling the hero online and have a WMV version of it. Just like a soft core movie scene complete with nipples. No saxophone music though.
#14 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — October 21, 2005 @ 1:46 am
i was so happy when i saw her titty in that sex scene. because you didnt get to see her tits in the shower scene. i was like zomg cocktease!!!!!! but then zomg! titty for one second at the end!! that made my day.
put the video online. i want to fap to it. carla is fucking hot.
the scene in the gym where she’s boxing with tyler. in her sports bra and shit. HOT.
#15 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 1:49 am
but seriously, check out this ebay listing for madden.
it’s hilarious.
#16 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 1:52 am
hah. i like this part: “‘The buyer’s of our tripe disgrace the gaming community by continually not caring. $59.99 please!'”
#17 | Comment by scoutface — October 21, 2005 @ 2:11 am
EA is evil.
but i’ll be damned if i can’t stop myself from saying “EA SPORTS. IT’S IN THE GAME” or “EA SPORTS. BIG!!!” every single time i boot up an EA game.
oh ya lets not forget “EA GAMES. CHALLENGE EVERYTHING”
stupid catchy slogans
#18 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 2:21 am
download a short clip of Carla bouncing her polygons in uncensored Farenheit here
#19 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — October 21, 2005 @ 2:28 am
Okay, I don’t need to buy the game anymore.
Thanks #19!
#20 | Comment by Nerima — October 21, 2005 @ 2:31 am
#5… I agree about 2k5, but give this madden some time. Once you get used to the passing thing, its awesome. It will take some practice, but the AI is very stupid, and tends to flow with the direction you are looking. At the last second, flip to a receiver on the other side of the field, and you are golden.
#21 | Comment by George — October 21, 2005 @ 2:35 am
CARLA TITTIES!!!!!!!!!!
#22 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 2:36 am
WHere did you buy all this stuff?
#23 | Comment by hayden — October 21, 2005 @ 2:36 am
that’s just one of the scenes and one of the girls. the one with the ex-girlfriend just fades to black on getting on the bed and the song drops out in the middle.
The interactive sex games are not in either.
#24 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — October 21, 2005 @ 2:55 am
Dead and Breakfast was filmed in Livermore, near my hood. The victorian house in the movie is owned by Joe Montana’s son. And why is David Carridine in it, you ask? Ever Carradine–David’s niece–is one of the lead actresses.
I concur though, it was very campy, but extremely enjoyable.
#25 | Comment by Nick — October 21, 2005 @ 3:44 am
It’s nice of Justin to share with us where the donations monies go.
#26 | Comment by kiko — October 21, 2005 @ 4:04 am
Zahid: Last I heard of Shenmue 3 was that it was underway on the development side, but a specific platform wasn’t named. I suspect it’ll be X-Box 360.
That was a couple of months back now though.
Oh, and I enjoy Madden ’06 quite a lot. the passing vision thing isn’t so bad unless you plan to be throwing totally against the grain all the time without looking first.
#27 | Comment by Cleesh — October 21, 2005 @ 4:15 am
I dont care where it comes out, as long as it comes out…
‘Cept for the Revolution, cos Nintendo is totally gay.
Chobot Rules!!!!!
#28 | Comment by Zahid — October 21, 2005 @ 4:40 am
ya #26, towards an extra 6 months of hosting and a $100 server upgrade you cockface!!!!!!!!!!
#29 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 4:53 am
all donations go to Justin’s Fap Fund. A happy Justin is a happy joy boob filled page.
#30 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — October 21, 2005 @ 4:57 am
aka xbox 360 fund
ps: “do you know where i can find sailors?”
shenmue! what a gay series!
sega sucked so bad, they dropped out of the hardware race and are now making games for nintendo!!!!!!
nintendowned!!!!!!!!
#31 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 4:58 am
“sega sucked so bad, they dropped out of the hardware race and are now making games for nintendo!!!!!!”
Do you know what sucks Justin? YOUR FACE!
Damn you for dissing Sega! Damn you!!! *Raises fist in air*
Sega stopped making hardware to focus solely on Software, but, you’ll see, they’ll be back in hardware race, and- and , you’ll see…
They´ll kick everyone’s ass. Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo will be sorry, yeah, they’ll be sorry… and you’ll be sorry for saying mean things about Sega while you’re sorry Nintendo is rotting in its grave and I, I’ll be laughing in Sega goodness…!
But seriously, I am an unapologetic Sega fanboy (You dont say) and own every one of Sega’s systems; The Master System, Genesis, Game Gear, Sega CD, Saturn, a Japanese Saturn and a Dreamcast.
When Sega announced they were going to stop making harware, a part of me died…
P.S. Gayest line in Shenmue was “You say you’re looking for sailors… but you dont mean just any kind of sailor”
Double meanings galore
#32 | Comment by Zahid — October 21, 2005 @ 5:28 am
Burnout Revenge and SOCOM III ARE awesome. What’s your username for SOCOM III? I have 49% complete on BOR, but I haven’t played it in a few days.
#33 | Comment by Scott — October 21, 2005 @ 5:50 am
That Ebay ad was the best thing ever.
I, too, was a 2K fanatic and have never been a huge fan of Madden or understand why people get so orgasmic every year it comes out. The day the NFL signed an exclusive agreement with EA was a dark day indeed.
#34 | Comment by ButterscotchStallion — October 21, 2005 @ 7:39 am
2k5 sucked. Choppy and horrible. People amaze me. The monopoly sucks for us regarding EA, but Madden is the shit.
#35 | Comment by Carlolove — October 21, 2005 @ 8:26 am
video gheymes.
#36 | Comment by Bill Clay — October 21, 2005 @ 8:46 am
Maybe justin will be kind enough to tell us how the heck he got his hands on Soul Calibur III. It hasn’t hit the next yet and I need to
play.
Nice stash, surprised you bought a bunch of EA games even if they were dirt cheap. How the hell could you not pick up Shadow of the Colossus. bad Justin, may Amanda Bynes turn into a Lesbian with Michelle Wtfucktenburg
#37 | Comment by knocturnal — October 21, 2005 @ 10:16 am
Justin lives in fucking Brunei, where theres a thriving software piracy industry. He buys movies and games that haven’t even come out yet for pennies…
Lucky bastard
#38 | Comment by Zahid — October 21, 2005 @ 11:01 am
tried looking for shadow last night actually. couldn’t find it anywhere. i guess they haven’t pirated the game yet or something.
ps: i loooooooved ICO
#39 | Comment by Justin — October 21, 2005 @ 11:02 am
I agree with #37, Shadow of the Colossus is awesome. Except he’s a moron for calling one of the more beautiful women in the world “Michelle Wtfucktenburg.”
#40 | Comment by Kthulhu — October 21, 2005 @ 11:09 am
6 games for $60 bucks for me… not so bad i thinks, so i learn to live with it
#41 | Comment by daniel — October 21, 2005 @ 11:12 am
#29 That’s all you got after getting over $2K* in donations??? I demand an investigation…and a hand job.
*Not actual amount.
#42 | Comment by kiko — October 21, 2005 @ 12:14 pm
I have Sonic CD for my Sega CD, its a good game
#43 | Comment by Adam — October 21, 2005 @ 7:31 pm
everybody get shadow of the wanda and ICOlossus, or whatever.
support ’em!
we need games like this this like air..
YOUBUYNOW!
DIDDY-MAO!
#44 | Comment by monkeymachine — October 22, 2005 @ 2:23 am
wtf?
i meant “we need games like this like we need air.”
#45 | Comment by monkeymachine — October 22, 2005 @ 2:25 am
played a bit further into Indigo Prophecy and watched the brief Carla shower scene.
They gave her a bikini. In the shower.
“da da dada da … where at least I know I’m free …”
Just not as free as the rest of the game playing world.
#46 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — October 22, 2005 @ 2:50 am
wow that sucks. she’s completely naked in my version of the game. BOOBS!!!!!
#47 | Comment by Justin — October 22, 2005 @ 2:54 am
Don’t forget the Warriors. That game is pure class
#48 | Comment by knocturnal — October 22, 2005 @ 4:53 am
YES YES, I love Fahrenheit! I downloaded the European version. Not done yet, but it has been good so far!!! 🙂
#49 | Comment by Stacia — October 23, 2005 @ 1:19 pm
God of war is Simply Orgasmic!!
#50 | Comment by Charlioso — January 11, 2007 @ 7:53 am