It is impossible to lick your elbow. A crocodile can’t stick it’s tongue out. A shrimp’s heart is in their head. People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a mili-second. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so – apart from Bones). It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. Rats and horses can’t vomit. The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles? In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks. In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders. Most lipstick contains fish scales. Cat’s urine glows under a black-light. Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different. Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
dont link this
WAUGH!
Dammit. You can’t. You can’t lick your elbow. Dammit.
#1 | Comment by ricochet — January 29, 2002 @ 9:27 pm
ok umm I think there may be something wrong with me…
#2 | Comment by Jerves — January 29, 2002 @ 9:47 pm
haha, i got this e-mail too..
#3 | Comment by fuzzy — January 29, 2002 @ 11:56 pm
No more using glow sticks! We’ll just use cat pee =P
#4 | Comment by pearly — January 30, 2002 @ 3:46 am
I live in south africa where there are a shit load of ostriches. they can and do bury their head. i have seen them do it.
#5 | Comment by Rory — January 30, 2002 @ 3:56 am
Actually, people saying "bless you" when you sneeze dates back to medieval England when people believed that your soul left your body briefly when you sneezed, so they ‘blessed’ you while it was gone to prevent evil spirits from getting in in it’s place.
Sounds stupid, but it’s true.
#6 | Comment by Simon — January 30, 2002 @ 8:03 am
All right! I can FINALLY say reading FUBAR is an educational experience.
#7 | Comment by Banana — January 30, 2002 @ 4:03 pm
Haha.
Ass.
#8 | Comment by Justin — January 30, 2002 @ 4:47 pm
hey hogwart, i just licked my elbow but now i’m stuck. fuck me!
#9 | Comment by paulyboy — January 30, 2002 @ 6:46 pm
and did you know that a pig’s orgasm can last up to a half hour? lucky pig…
#10 | Comment by MissShigatsu — January 30, 2002 @ 7:38 pm
ACTUALLY! people say bless you because during the time of the black plague in England, sneezing was a symptom that you were coming down with the virus, so people said bless you.
hence, in the nursey rhyme, "Atishoo, Atishoo, we all fall down…"
#11 | Comment by Sam — February 3, 2002 @ 10:41 am
Aaaaactually, people say "bless you" when you sneeze because they are stupid.
#12 | Comment by John — February 5, 2002 @ 1:43 pm
Actually, cat urine isn’t the only urine that will glow under a black light. I had a dual-source (long wave, short wave) ultraviolet light in my hands a couple months ago and looked at everything i found. Human urine (well, mine) glows. Ear wax glows a weird bright orange. Gunk from clogged pores glowed yellow.
Cat urine glowing isn’t so weird now, is it? 🙂
#13 | Comment by fubaru — February 7, 2002 @ 12:43 pm