Night fell and the beasts appeared, stomping the sound of bells and dragging fearful things of blades and velvet cushion behind them, snorting through the acrid air and leaving a trail of steaming excrement beneath their sharp feet. Men begged for favor with sacrifices, tossing delectable boxes of things that melt in one’s mouth or glitter about their neck between the mawing teeth of a red dragon (whose scales were like fire and whose claws made instant potpourri of the rosebeds that had once lay beneath).
Those who had not been chosen for the journey remained at home, tucked carefully into a box of calories or self-pity, their eyelids peeled back to stare unblinking at the horror that hunched in their corners of their living rooms. The televisions smiled back at them, their jaws full of static and tales of love written by men who had never known its taste, and then vomited again the war cry of “Buy!”
The streets were dangerous enough to keep partners behind glass windows, protected by a small circle of candlelight until they could be spoon-fed a veritable last supper and robbed in public view. A fearsome creature lurked, blessed with wings but no sense of morality, its head a mass of curls that had not yet matured into Medusa’s snakes, plucking music out of snapping strings and hurtling arrows, its giggle a hollow sound absorbed by the layers of plush fur and satin bow laid out by the villagepeople.
It was over soon, this glimpse toward the Apocalypse, as the warriors trekked home and screamed out the unthinkable horrors that they had beheld, knocking their furniture violently against walls that are too thin to afford any shame, writhing against their partner sweat-slicked and wild-eyed. A rising sun will bring relief, the garbageman will remove the debris of ripped clothing and paper, and the monsters will again begin to plan. Valentine’s Day is the devil.
Summary:
What I want for Valentine’s Day
A roll in the hay with Kristen Kreuk
What I got for Valentine’s Day:
A bear in a box
I got first comment. That was quite a diatribe. I didn’t even read it. I just wanted first comment. I got it. HAHA.
#1 | Comment by suckamuthafu — February 12, 2002 @ 2:24 pm
what’s with people and wanting to get first comment? you just ruined a very good post! hope you’re happy… e-tard…
anyway, chloe, that was great! sorry to hear you feel so bad about valentine’s day. and how have you already managed to get a teddy bear? valentine’s isn’t for another 2 days… O_o
#2 | Comment by MissShigatsu — February 12, 2002 @ 3:21 pm
oops, sorry… i mean cleo, not chloe…
#3 | Comment by MissShigatsu — February 12, 2002 @ 3:22 pm
Vermont Teddy Bear company guarantees delivery before Valentine’s Day. Sometimes WAY before. I got mine last Friday, my bf almost breathed fire.
#4 | Comment by Cleo — February 12, 2002 @ 3:36 pm
kristin kreuk is hot. i wanna rub my dick against her sweet pussy, dripping wet. i want to squueze those little breasts. i want her to move my cock up and down her throat. i want her to give me an orgasm by squeezing my dick with her vaginal muscles.
#5 | Comment by lilassneck — February 12, 2002 @ 3:45 pm
CLEO
Your writing is really poor. Please don’t inflict it on us again.
Thanks
#6 | Comment by filbert — February 12, 2002 @ 4:09 pm
Filbert is an ass. That monologue was scathing, yet truthful at the same time. A rare bird. Brilliant.
At any rate, I do wonder why you waste good prose on FUBAR losers who won’t appreciate it.
#7 | Comment by Banana — February 12, 2002 @ 5:56 pm
Banana,
Delighted to make your aquaintance. "scathing, yet truthful at the same time. Brilliant". I would agreee entirely, and that prose of such exceptional quality is indeed wasted on fubar asses and losers such as myself. This is why I suggested that Cleo take early retirement from the site, write the book that will make her millions, set up her OWN website for her fascinating prose, and rub my nose in it. Fair enough?
#8 | Comment by Filbert — February 12, 2002 @ 6:17 pm
Does no-one else find it odd that Cleo (A Girl) wants to roll around with Kristen Kreuk (Also A Girl) for Valentines?
#9 | Comment by Chmee — February 12, 2002 @ 6:59 pm
thats why i thought she was a carpet muncher
#10 | Comment by filbert — February 12, 2002 @ 7:52 pm
chmee, whats wrong with that?
#11 | Comment by fuzzy — February 13, 2002 @ 12:14 pm
nup. should anyone question why cleo would want to rolling in the hay with Kristen Kreuk? she can if she wants to. tis all good.
anyway, happy valentines ya all! ๐
#12 | Comment by Iris — February 13, 2002 @ 2:28 pm
hey cleo. good to see ya get into the website stuff ๐ ur so cute, hehe bye!
#13 | Comment by Steve — February 13, 2002 @ 2:34 pm
The Real question is: Would any of the viewers of this site want to hear about my lust for Josh Hartnett, and be subjected to me posting up "nude naked topless celeb pics" of him? Probably not. Also, girls are hot. No one can deny that. Kreuk is my goddess. ๐
#14 | Comment by Cleo — February 13, 2002 @ 3:41 pm
wow, a bi
#15 | Comment by Moรขโฌลก — February 13, 2002 @ 6:17 pm
at first i thought that said "night felland BREASTS appeared…"
#16 | Comment by suzi — February 13, 2002 @ 11:34 pm
Suzi – if you were older and I was gayer, I’d show you how breasts appear. It’s a lot more eventful. *leer*
#17 | Comment by Cleo — February 14, 2002 @ 5:03 pm
DUDE KRISTIN KREUK IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON!!! iF SHE CAME HERE I WOULD FOR SURE ASK HER OUT!!! She sounds like a really nice girl… I’M GONNA MARRY HER SOMEDAY!
#18 | Comment by ILUVKRISTINKREUK — September 3, 2002 @ 6:32 pm
DUDE KRISTIN KREUK IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON!!! iF SHE CAME HERE I WOULD FOR SURE ASK HER OUT!!! She sounds like a really nice girl… I’M GONNA MARRY HER SOMEDAY!
#19 | Comment by ILUVKRISTINKREUK — September 3, 2002 @ 6:34 pm
Iluvkristinkreuk don’t be a moron! you clicked twice didn’t you…
#20 | Comment by DUDE — September 8, 2002 @ 8:51 pm