Hey everyone, this is AVRIL LAVIGNE. I was talking to Mr. Justin and saying “dude, you’ve totally got to update, man” and he’s like “Avril, will you do it for me?” And since I’m such a rad chick I said “of course.” So here I am taking a break from my busy schedule of wearing pants that fall down too low, and voicing my very intellectual opinion about Britney, the ho.
Hah, okay I lie. But to the people who have no braincells, I’m sure they’re filling up the guestbook at this moment worshipping. In reality, I’m Liz and although I am Canadian, 17, and I wear ties, I’m as much Avril as Justin is. Canada…Now thats the fruitful land of popstars who think they’re punk, Eskimos (wait, they like to be called “Inuit”) and about 90% of the world’s fresh water. If you make fun of my country I will kick you in the balls. I am very patriotic after all.
Now, as I see it blogging on fubar is a big responsibility, is it not? Considering my little site *cou*teenagevictory.net*gh* gets about no traffic whatsoever, its alright for me to be nonsensical there. But here…Now this is a change. I feel like I owe it to you, the readers to come up with this big elaborate story full of sex, lies and of course…a videotape.
But, I have the attention span of the average fourth grader so instead I’m going to post a bunch of rambling and you are all forced to read on, because honestly can you look at a entry and not finish?
Now, I have been trying to persause Justin for some time now to once and for all prove that he is not, in fact Avril Lavigne. And I have come up with the perfect solution. I think that Justin should sing us just a little bit of “Complicated” and post it on the site. Wouldn’t that just be perfect? He’s always posting .wav’s from his voicemail, I think its time he gave a little back. I want to hear him sing, especially if he’s terrible. The worse, the better.
And Justin, if you’re listening…If you DON’T do this, I will send thousands of mindless teenyboppin’ drones to you. They’ll be everywhere. In your email, messeging you on aim, whoring up your guestbook, on your bed (okay, maybe not)….You’ll never get a moment’s peace.
Okay, thanks for listening everyone. Now you’re probably wondering what the point of this retarded chick’s ramblings was…Well, it all goes back to the one genre that connects the internet together. PORN.
Here is lots of pussy for you dirty old bastards.
Liz-
Where’s pussy? Damnit! I was salivating at the thought of cat porn!
You tease.
#1 | Comment by smash — August 25, 2002 @ 1:55 pm
That not porn! please don’t joke around with that
#2 | Comment by Ikke — August 25, 2002 @ 3:29 pm
Heh, well…Sorry guys, I’m underage and not into chick porn 😉 But I’m sure Justin will be back soon with the real thing. Until then, my site will be whored.
#3 | Comment by Liz — August 25, 2002 @ 8:01 pm
Wow, I did’t know your site got zero traffic. I’ve been by there (clicked on a link from someone’s site). It was entertaining and an overall nice experience. Good to see you got some free air time 😀 Gotta love that Canada, eh?
-Liz’s Biggest Fan
#4 | Comment by #1 Liz-bian Fan — August 25, 2002 @ 8:22 pm
Man, you’re so sweet <3 I don't know where you got the Liz-bian thing from though...*raises eyebrows* xoxo.
#5 | Comment by Liz — August 25, 2002 @ 8:45 pm
wats ur new AIM screenname u emo punk??
#6 | Comment by just me — August 25, 2002 @ 10:24 pm
I might regret this…but my aim screenname (thast incredibly lame, i know) is Glittyp1nkstar I’m online right now. No, I will not have sex with you. No, you can not see me naked. And yes, I AM AVRIL LAVIGNE. Erm, not.
#7 | Comment by Liz — August 25, 2002 @ 10:30 pm
Your website http://www.teenagevictory.net doesn’t work?!
#8 | Comment by Carl — August 26, 2002 @ 6:17 am
AHahah!! Liz you are the total shit!!!
#9 | Comment by Natalie — August 26, 2002 @ 12:11 pm
I didnt even type my sn right, lol…its Glitteryp1nkstar
Thanks Nat, you rock my rainbow socks!
#10 | Comment by Liz — August 26, 2002 @ 12:18 pm
MMMMMMMM……….i love rainbow socks……
#11 | Comment by [Sic] — August 26, 2002 @ 12:43 pm
Liz, send the teenybopper drones after Justin anyways. it’ll be great to see him whine and complain and piss them off. humor us, its what we are he for. =D
#12 | Comment by Turtle Boy — August 28, 2002 @ 11:45 pm