Well ain’t that a bitch. The fucking download stopped at 94.7% and it’s not moving anymore. Hasn’t been for the past 24+ hours. Stupid fuckers stopped seeding the torrent. Might as well fucking delete it now. And i was so looking forward to watching it too.

So if you’ve been keeping up with the latest movie news, you’ll know that M. Night Shamalamadingdong has a new movie in the works. The Lady in the Water. About an apartment building superintendant who finds a rare type of sea nymph in the pool.

Sounds to me like a mermaid!

I like mermaids.

You know, Splash really pissed me off as a kid. I remember going frame by frame on VHS trying to find that elusive Daryl Hannah nip slip. It wasn’t until years later did i find out that she put flesh colored tape on her tits to hide them. And to think i wasted all that time slow motioning and frame by framing that damn movie. On VHS nonetheless. I blame the PG rating for the titty tape. CURSE YOU PG RATING.

Speaking of which, how in the hell did that movie get a PG rating? Titty tape notwithstanding, there was still bare boobs in that movie.

So anyway yeah, that movie i was downloading. It’s called Mermaid in a Manhole.

The story concerns a painter whose wife has recently left him. He devotes all his time and attention to his art, venturing into the sewers beneath his house in search of inspiration for his paintings, which all depict scenes of decay and disease. Once this sewer was a river, where the painter played as a child and where he once believed to have seen a mermaid. On one of his treks he realises his beliefs were right when he finds the mermaid, trapped in the stinking sewer. When the river ran dry, she explains, she was unable to get back to sea and hid in the sewer system. Her skin badly infected by waste and pollution after years of living in the sewer, she begs the painter to help her. He decides to take her to his house, where he puts her in his bathtub and proceeds to paint her.

Her condition worsens and after a while festering sores start erupting all over her body. Though both of them know death is inevitable, the mermaid asks the artist to document her decay in his painting. This he does and the bond between the two grows stronger as her situation deteriorates. When the sores increase, he adjusts his portrait accordingly, even when the infection turns into a grotesque mutation that covers her entire body. When he fails to find the right paint to truthfully depict the colours of her infections, she tells him to slice open the boils with a razor blade and use the abundantly flowing puss instead.

It’s a shame i’ll never get to watch it.

19 thoughts on “Mermaids!

  1. has 4 of them on it… You are bound to have 1 of them work…

    #1 | Comment by Registeredpedophile — March 28, 2005 @ 11:31 pm

  2. perhaps. it’s not exactly a hot download so i doubt it’ll be active. i’ll give it a try though.

    #2 | Comment by Justin — March 28, 2005 @ 11:35 pm

  3. The mermaid in that movie sounds sexy.

    #3 | Comment by JustSumDude — March 29, 2005 @ 12:09 am

  4. ever see that movie She-Creature with Rufus Sewel?

    #4 | Comment by skarekrow — March 29, 2005 @ 12:10 am

  5. never heard of it. oh and i figured i’d try to play the 94.7% completed file. it worked! it kept skipping every now and then though. but it was watchable. totally cheesy movie. sounds a lot better on paper than it really is. but then again i did totally spoil the movie by reading spoiler filled reviews. so any element of surprise was totally diminished. worth watching if you’re REALLY bored and have nothing else better to do.

    i gotta admit though, the movie is really really gross. i actually felt kinda nauseous at times.

    a review and some screenshots here

    i give it a 6 out of 10!

    #5 | Comment by Justin — March 29, 2005 @ 1:32 am

  6. that. is fucking disgusting. Whoever did the makeup work for that film should be knighted, and then have their eyes gouged out Russian-style.

    #6 | Comment by Grinch — March 29, 2005 @ 1:51 am


    For the old fubarbs, I find that funny.

    #7 | Comment by PacManJesus — March 29, 2005 @ 1:55 am

  8. I’d hit it!!!

    but it sucks that someone stopped seeding… I’m downloading born to fight (the successor to Ong Bak) but it’s stuck at 98.5%, the stupid thing is, I saw someone at 100% a couple of days ago but I don’t think he was seeding cuz noone was downloading from him.

    #8 | Comment by WP_LeGeNd — March 29, 2005 @ 3:04 am


    nothing sucked as much ass as that, i waited 5 days after that till it was done. Eat it.

    #9 | Comment by Grinch — March 29, 2005 @ 3:35 am

  10. “Mermaid in the Manhole” sounded like a porn. I expected boobs.

    #10 | Comment by Observant — March 29, 2005 @ 4:09 am

  11. I will download it also… and if mine works and yours doesent I will send it to you over msn…

    #11 | Comment by Registeredpedophile — March 29, 2005 @ 5:02 am

  12. ok, scratch that last post… “I need to learn to read…”

    #12 | Comment by Registeredpedophile — March 29, 2005 @ 5:03 am

  13. porn? try gorn.

    Of course, the nasty infection doesn’t clear up overnight. If anything, it gets worse, and in a scene that must be the first filmic example of Gorn (that’s gore and pornography, folks) the mermaid’s blisters pop iridescently and she, in great agony, starts sweating and moaning and writhing and bouncing up and down in the bathtub as if she were experiencing a good seeing-to. The whole atmosphere of Gorn isn’t helped by the artist running up and down the stairs clutching towels and yelling “I’m coming!”. Bloodily, the episode comes to an end and you get the feeling you’ve just witnessed Japan running out of red ink for the rest of 1988.

    #13 | Comment by Justin — March 29, 2005 @ 7:03 am


    there ya go justing. Gugino is in it as well.

    #14 | Comment by skarekrow — March 30, 2005 @ 1:45 am

  15. They have them all at Best Buy for like $55. So yes you will get to see them if you want to pay that.

    #15 | Comment by RDog — March 30, 2005 @ 12:06 pm

  16. Just thought I’d mention that Bryce Dallas Howard is set to play the mermaid in M. Night’s film. Yum.

    #16 | Comment by Ricochet — March 30, 2005 @ 11:32 pm

  17. Is this a rule of MKS films? … one actor MUST cross-over to the next film?? First Willis, then… not sure … did someone star in both Unbreakable and Signs???… then Phoenix, now Howard… I guess he bonds well with his casts… meh.

    #17 | Comment by rick — March 31, 2005 @ 10:54 am

  18. Angela Eckert was in both “Unbreakable” and “Signs”…

    …but maybe you meant someone famous?

    #18 | Comment by AngelBaby — March 31, 2005 @ 10:58 am

  19. Oh, thats just not righ…..uh…..satisfactory.

    I like posting like this again. its been a long time. Good to see everyone here.

    #19 | Comment by Sammy — April 1, 2005 @ 3:54 am

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