Remember when Lucasarts used to make real games and not just stupid faggot Star Wars games all the time? I spent an entire 24 or so hours downloading every old Lucasarts SCUMM games i could find yesterday. Okay actually i just found a single torrent of every single old Lucasarts SCUMM game ever made so it wasn’t like i was on some Indiana Jones-like interweb downloading adventure.
Here’s a list of games that i kept from the 2.3 gig package.
There were a bunch more but they didn’t seem to be all that hot. Like Maniac Mansion, Zak waheteverthefuck, Simon the Sorcerer etc. So i deleted them.
I’ve only played Monkey Island 1 so far, out of all the games i haven’t played yet. I’m at the end of the first chapter i think. Got all my three trials done, bought a ship, gathered my crew but when i go to the dock to meet up with all of them, they aren’t there. Stupid. Must be a glitch or something. Or maybe i didn’t do something right. I checked a walkthrough and it says they all should be on the dock waiting for me. Fucking faggot game. I quit Monkey Island. Monkey Island makes me angry.
I think i’ll try out one of the newer games. Maybe replay Full Throttle again. I never did finish that game the first time around. I think i got stuck on that part of the game where you’re fighting with the end boss(?) on that truck and it’s heading towards a cliff or something. How great. Made it to end of the game(?), without looking at any walkthroughs (remember this was 1995 when the internets wasn’t born yet). And i get impossibly stuck on the last scene(?). This makes me angry thinking about it. I quit Full Throttle. Full Throttle makes me angry.
Maybe i’ll try out The Dig. Always wanted to play this game. Didn’t Spielberg help out with this game? And i think it has Robert Patrick voice acting in it. Which i used to think was super cool when i read about it in PC Gamer magazine. Of course this was back when Robert Patrick was actually hot shit. I bet i’ll get impossibly stuck playing The Dig too. I seem to recall several magazine reviews (magazine reviews because the internets wasn’t born yet in 1996) mentioning some impossibly hard puzzles. Fuck that. I quit The Dig already. The Dig makes me angry. Visit https://www.headphonage.com/ to find the best headphones for gamers.
In fact, i quit all these games without even playing them because i know i’ll get stuck somewhere along the line because that’s just the way Lucasarts games are with all their motherbitch puzzles. SCUMM games make me angry!!!
I’ll just stick to playing Psychonauts, the closest thing to a ‘real Lucasarts’ game that you can get in 2005. Tim Schafer worked on Psychonauts (he also worked on quite a number of those classic SCUMM games) and it’s got all that trademark Day of the Tentacle/Sam & Max type humor that makes all those old SCUMM games so enjoyable. If it weren’t for all the impossible puzzles of course. Lucasarts makes me angry.
The Dig is a great game the story is very creepy
#1 | Comment by dex — August 10, 2005 @ 11:25 am
You never played Maniac Mansion?!?! Damn, you should rectify that.
And I know you want to bash Lucasarts, but you have to admit… Sam and Max Hit the Road kicked copious amounts of ass.
#2 | Comment by Jaquio — August 10, 2005 @ 11:35 am
i tested it out before like 1 minute and got stuck immediately. like literally. stuck on the FIRST screen (the one with the sign on the fence thing). so i deleted it. it had too many characters to control and the interface wasn’t as streamlined as the newer SCUMM games.
too much of a hassle to play!
#3 | Comment by Justin — August 10, 2005 @ 11:44 am
plus i hear day of the tentacle is superior anyway.
#4 | Comment by Justin — August 10, 2005 @ 11:44 am
In Monkey Island here’s probably like 1 thing that you haven’t done. You might need to talk to someone, or find some crucial item. Re-read the walktrhough carefully.
Sam & Max is awesome. I remember that I was stuck in the wierd vortex location for weeks – because I couldn’t find a stupid switch – you had to walk off screen in an area where it looked like there’s a wall there to find it. Still, one of the coolest games I played ever!
Tentacle was also cool but the puzzles killed me. You really had to think about the time travle aspect and coordinate what the caracters did. It also had some really dumb puzzles – for example, you had to stick a mouse in an icebox so that your friend in the future can find it. It seems logical untill you realize that you can actually move the items between characters via the time machines. So you could just give her the mouse… But no…
Oh, btw – don’t discard Simmon that fast. It was actually a really good game.
#5 | Comment by Luke — August 10, 2005 @ 12:01 pm
Maniac Mansion > Day of the Tentacle
Maniac Mansion is an amazing puzzle solving game, it doesn’t look as good as DOTT but the gameplay is amazing
#6 | Comment by daniel — August 10, 2005 @ 12:06 pm
Console Games > Chobot > PC Games
#7 | Comment by jackdaniels — August 10, 2005 @ 12:06 pm
i like when lucasarts games started using voice acting. reading through that monkey island game was tiring!!!
i look forward to playing curse of monkey island and quitting halfway through. i hope it’s funny.
#8 | Comment by Justin — August 10, 2005 @ 12:14 pm
day of the tentacle is the best game ever
fact: the DS plays SCUMM games.
#9 | Comment by dab5ph — August 10, 2005 @ 12:29 pm
Loom is the best. Play it next.
#10 | Comment by P — August 10, 2005 @ 12:52 pm
wow, it looks like you know as much about pc gaming than chobot knows about console gaming. you truly are hardcore.
#11 | Comment by scum — August 10, 2005 @ 6:02 pm
hardcore enough? and that doesn’t even include the stuff i have on the shelves and lying around on the floor and in boxes. don’t know my shit my ass!!!
#12 | Comment by Justin — August 10, 2005 @ 7:22 pm
CD-RomToday: “1996 What’s On The Horizon?”
Justin, it may be time to throw some shit away…
😮
#13 | Comment by AngelBaby — August 10, 2005 @ 9:49 pm
Damn Straight, LucasArts always made the best games, never could finish em tho I feel the same way you do Justin, “motherbitch puzzles.”
Fact: Secret Weapons over Normandy for PS2 = Best Non Star Wars Flight Sim by LucasArts.
#14 | Comment by Skeezer — August 10, 2005 @ 10:40 pm
#13,
Throw magazines away?!? My stack of RUN and BYTE might come in handy someday.
#15 | Comment by steampunk — August 11, 2005 @ 1:22 am
Hurhurhur! Justin, I can imagine your voice going up like two octaves and getting all loud and squeaky like when you went puberty (last year) in comment #12 because you’re so enraged.
#16 | Comment by EndlessMike — August 11, 2005 @ 1:24 am
i like pulling out old issues of gamefan to read while i’m eating dinner and laugh at all the praise they heaped on the fucking atari jaguar. in fact, i read somewhere that the review of cybermorph they did was actually written while the reviewer was high.
#17 | Comment by Justin — August 11, 2005 @ 1:45 am
Games magazines that hyped over Atari Jaguar (64-bit gaming oh my god dear lord, this is the shit) didn’t really know wtf they were hyping about. Comment #8: Talkie version of indy4&dott came out in 1993, a talkie version of loom in 1992. Also in reply to the initial comment, Lucasarts made some fine ass Star Wars games like X-Wing in 1993 and Tie Fighter in 1994 regarding the quote “not just stupid faggot Star Wars games all the time?” Please don’t make me say anything about Rebel Assault.
Just proves my point, badass hardcore.
You don’t know shit about PC gaming.
#18 | Comment by scum — August 11, 2005 @ 3:48 am
point? what point?
gamefan has always been pretty stupid when it came to hyping things up. they can hype things up one issue, only to tear it down several issues down the line sometimes.
and lucasarts now = star wars all the time
lucasarts then = not so
the fact still remains and my point still rings true. xwingtiefighter or not.
and the talkies, again, your point being? they didnt have voice before. then they did. and when they did, i liked it.
little known fact: i really could care less about actual PC gaming. anybody who has asked me on AIM what games PC games i play knows that i dont play PC games AT ALL.
PC gaming is for nerds anyway. PC gaming can suck my ass. the only time i’ve ever really actively played PC games in any capacity was around 1999. PC gaming can eat shit.
console > PC
mac > PC
JESSICA CHOBOT > PC
but that doesn’t mean i dont keep up with the industry.
nevertheless im still hardcore in all areas and obviously rule so much. yep.
#19 | Comment by Justin — August 11, 2005 @ 4:36 am
That little known fact sounds about right since Justin is a Mac user after all.
#20 | Comment by yoyoma — August 11, 2005 @ 5:04 am
Sierra was also a great gaming company back in the old days. Until Vivendi bought it and started making crap, oh and Hoyle Card Games. Gabriel Knight, Space Quest, King’s Quest, Quest For Glory, all awesome games that I never get bored of. Where have all the Adventure Games gone?
Check out Noctropolis by EA too, another great game.
#21 | Comment by LeisureSuitL — August 11, 2005 @ 5:20 am
JESSICA CHOBOT > PC
Was that a praise? :O
#19 Real gamers don’t quit on games.
#22 | Comment by kiko — August 11, 2005 @ 5:37 am
what about that phantasmagoria eh? they spent millions on it. only for it to suck. then roberta williams went on to make kings quest 7. which also sucked. then she left sierra and then sierra sucked.
did the chick in phantasmagoria show boobies in the game? i recall it having a love scene and a rape scene.
i want to see her boobies.
oh ya rise of the dragon was pretty cool too.
did anybody ever play the elvira games? elvira 2 was the shit. i always thought she would get her boobies out if you finished the game. i was disappointed when i found out it was not the case. elvira is a cocktease.
#23 | Comment by Justin — August 11, 2005 @ 5:48 am
if you search online you can find pics of Elvira completely naked (and pretty hairy if I remember). After that her teasing has no power. Although it’s still fun watching her boobs bounce.
#24 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — August 11, 2005 @ 5:58 am
Mistress of the Dark? Maybe. Mistress of the bikini wax? Not so much.
http://members.fortunecity.com/noops094/fcnoops_elvira_cassandra_peterson01.html
#25 | Comment by DisconcertedGeorge — August 11, 2005 @ 6:01 am
hairy vaginas make my face melt
#26 | Comment by Justin — August 11, 2005 @ 6:02 am
Phantasmogoria was fucking awesome. And you totally got some boobies in that. That was Monique Parent which I’m absolutely in love with even though I’m not typically into any of the current B-Movie queens. Classic ones were the best, give me some Brinke Stevens any day. I even have a few of her comic books.
PS. Maniac Mansion rocked.
#27 | Comment by SpankMonkey — August 11, 2005 @ 8:44 am
You’ve never played Simon the Sorceror? Those games are the shit!
They’re seriously good games, you should try them sometime. They’re like Monkey Island, the same kind of humour, only they’re about becoming a wizard instead of a pirate.
Y’know, because Wizards rock and Pirates suck!
#28 | Comment by KillswitchEdge — August 11, 2005 @ 10:13 pm
justin.. if u have time can u pleaseeeee tell me how to get day of the tentacle. or email me or soemthing? have been trying to look for it for ages!
i finished full throttle and all the monkey island series so far.. and on that note i must say the newer games have all lost the charm games used to have for me 🙂
#29 | Comment by fuzzy — August 12, 2005 @ 12:32 am
14:
Secret Weapons of the Luftwaffe was THE best flight sim for the computer that Lucasarts made, w/Tie Fighter coming in second.
Secret Weapons of the Luftwaffe >>> Secret Weapons over Normandy.
#30 | Comment by Rob — August 12, 2005 @ 10:59 am
post a trorrent link!!!1!!1!!!11
#31 | Comment by RegisteredPedophile — August 12, 2005 @ 12:27 pm
dude i’ve played full throttle before, it made me want to be a gay biker like one in the vilage people boi. lol anyway i dont remember what exactly i did to beat that dude, but these key words popped into my head when i was thinking about it:
1. chain (for whipping i think)
2. crowbar into the engine fan
yeah? YEAH? my dad’s a mechanic, so i knew that vehicles had fans. HAHA
#32 | Comment by maph — August 13, 2005 @ 7:09 pm
I have played and completed every one of those games.
Everyone look at me.
#33 | Comment by dmankad — August 14, 2005 @ 12:30 am
dont say anything against PC gaming when you dont know anything about it.
in the nineties, PC gaming owned the console. WHile console gamers played mindless platformers and half baked Action clones…PC gamers wrecked their brains on Indiana jones, Monkey Island, Grim fandago etc
There is no doubt in my mind that PC gaming owned console gaming in those days. About now…It depends on your choice, But back then…the winner was clear.
BTW..who plays games on mac ?
#34 | Comment by mano — January 24, 2006 @ 12:49 am
and its okay to get angry at something you cant do
#35 | Comment by mano — January 24, 2006 @ 12:52 am
aND OFCOURSE THERE WERE OTHER GAMES LIKE dEATH RALLY
#36 | Comment by mano — January 24, 2006 @ 12:53 am
aND OFCOURSE THERE WERE OTHER GAMES LIKE dEATH RALLY, Strike commander, Quake series, thief, Doom series, COmmander Keen, DUngeon keeper 2, Diablo, Baldurs gate, Red alert, Start craft, Half life etc etc.
PC gaming WAS the meaning of hardcore in the nineties.
#37 | Comment by mano — January 24, 2006 @ 12:55 am
^^^
oooh…everyone watch out, mano is HARDCORE!!!
lolz
#38 | Comment by AngelBaby — January 24, 2006 @ 1:02 am
He’s so hardcore he can’t turn off the fucking capslock. That makes him hardcore annoying.
#39 | Comment by Ragnarok — January 24, 2006 @ 1:45 am
quadruple
#40 | Comment by AngelBaby — January 24, 2006 @ 1:51 am
posting
#41 | Comment by AngelBaby — January 24, 2006 @ 1:51 am
is
#42 | Comment by AngelBaby — January 24, 2006 @ 1:52 am
hardcore
#43 | Comment by AngelBaby — January 24, 2006 @ 1:52 am
typingnonsenseoverandoverandoverandoverisevenmorehardcore!
It’s extreme hardcore!
#44 | Comment by Smiley — January 24, 2006 @ 2:35 pm
Fucking Up the Frontpage is NOT hardcore.
#45 | Comment by CaPPyD — January 24, 2006 @ 8:51 pm
Fixing The Frontpage is hardcore!!!
#46 | Comment by CaPPyD — January 24, 2006 @ 8:52 pm