A long post

Sorry for not posting last night. My dad was hogging the PC again and i was pretty tired and feeling down. Friday was my last day at JIS and i was pretty emotionally drained. I had to leave fat Jeff all my friends, Jeanne and basically everything i had when i was at the school. All the memories and shit. Anyway, i was pretty quiet on the final bus ride back home. I went home to find Angela and Shasha on ICQ. They cheered me up a bit. But i was kinda boring to them cuz i was tired. Anyway sorry for being boring you two. I was just…tired i guess. I called up Jeanne after that and we talked for almost 2 (two) hours i think. Maybe less…maybe even 1 (one) hour…but nonetheless, we found out a whole lot about each other. Some good stuff, some bad stuff. But in the end of the day, even after what i know about her, i still like her. Even more actually. Because no one’s perfect. Not even me.

Did you know that if i were to stay on at JIS, i’d probably be going out with her right now? That’s what she said anyway. But seeing that the situation is pretty FUBAR, it’s just not logical to do so…to go out with her i mean. There’s another reason but i don’t wanna say why. I guess you could kinda say that we’re just ‘kinda’ seeing each other but not really going out….does that make sense? It’s just that the situation is so FUBAR, we’re both kinda confused and dunno what to do. Under normal circumstance, we’d probably be going out now. But this isn’t normal. I’ll probably never get to go out with her officially but it would be nice though……even if it were only for 24 hours….kinda like that movie ‘Before Sunrise’ with Ethan Hawke. I liked that movie.

Anyway, Over the past 2 (two) days, i’ve been pouring out my heart and soul to Jeanne on the phone and she kinda has done the same thing too to a certain extent. Due to time constraints, we’re taking it not slow but very fast. You know how normal relationships takes lots of stages to get through before it can truly develop? Well we’re just going full speed ahead through every stage. Hyperspeed. Under normal circumstances, this would be called ‘rushing into things’. But this isn’t a normal circumstance. So it is kinda okay that we do rush things a bit. She’s understands it. I understand it. So it’s all good i guess. Basically i’ve done and said things that i would NEVER EVER do and say normally. I’m just going all out with her. Nothing to lose you know? It’s great that she understands all of this. And i admit it’s all a bit weird for me because i’ve never actually done anything like this but she hasn’t too so this is all new to the both of us. A little excitement in our dull lives like she said. We’re not going out though…i don’t think we’ll ever get to go out and be boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m gonna see her on the weekend and we’re gonna go out and see what happens after that.

I’m actually a bit reluctant to post about all of this on here but then again i’m not really telling much. Basically Jeanne and I aren’t going out. Probably never will but right now…..it’s just really weird. Like we’re stuck in limbo between friendship and going out-ship. Anyway, we talked and got to know each other more. I’m probably gonna call her up more and get to know her even more as the days pass by…before i get to see her next weekend. If things turn out good….it’s good. But if not…..then it’s not. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Anyway after that i got a call from my old friend Tim. She’s actually a girl but her nickname is Tim. Don’t ask why. She’s my good friend from my old school (the one before i went to JIS). No, don’t get any ideas…we’re just very good friends. She called me up and invited me to go out to dinner. Her treat. So we went out….ate and then went back to my place and just hung out in my room. I showed her all my photos and stuff of when i was in JIS.

We just basically talked and caught up on recent events and shit. I sent her home at around 11:30 pm. I took out the car and drove around a bit after that. I hit 200 kph. What a rush. Anyway, i headed back home and what do i see? My dad STILL on the fucking computer since like…7 pm. Anyway, that’s why i’m posting so late. This post pretty much sucks. But hey, i don’t give a fuuuuuuck. I love you all.

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