28 thoughts on “Jessica A vs. Jessica B”

1. 

   First.

   B > A

   It’s just simple math.

   #1 | Comment by Nerima — October 9, 2005 @ 3:03 pm

2. 

   If Jessica Alba is the hottest woman in the world.
   And if Jessica Biel is the sexiest woman alive.
   Then one or both of the following must be true, assuming “hottest woman” and “sexiest woman” are considered equivalent:

   Jessica Alba is not alive.
   Jessica Biel is not in the world.

   #2 | Comment by woo — October 9, 2005 @ 3:11 pm

3. 

   B > A > B

   Biel > Alba > Bynes

   #3 | Comment by Smiley — October 9, 2005 @ 3:11 pm

4. 

   I’m gonna have to say we have a cage match. Alba’s chest again Biels Junk in the trunk.

   #4 | Comment by skarekrow — October 9, 2005 @ 3:12 pm

5. 

   I ‘m pretty sure Biels has bigger tits than Alba. Yes, big luscious mouth watering mams.

   #5 | Comment by Smiley — October 9, 2005 @ 3:14 pm

6. 

   I wonder who’s ass is juicier ;\ Biel needs more bikini shots of her b00ty like Alba.

   #6 | Comment by Billy — October 9, 2005 @ 3:33 pm

7. 

   Ralph is a mens magazine in Australia.

   #7 | Comment by Walker Texas Ranger — October 9, 2005 @ 3:36 pm

8. 

   Esquire is a mens magazine in America.

   #8 | Comment by Justin — October 9, 2005 @ 3:41 pm

9. 

   And both are wrong.

   #9 | Comment by Jenesis — October 9, 2005 @ 3:52 pm

10. 

    Biel is way hotter

    #10 | Comment by Wulf — October 9, 2005 @ 4:36 pm

11. 

    Biel’s ass > Alba’s ass

    I like ’em round and juicy.

    #11 | Comment by sycros — October 9, 2005 @ 5:43 pm

12. 

    Esquire better smarten up or I’m moving to Australia. Admittedly, Biel does get extra credit for stripping down at 17, but Alba is still hotter. Alba has the potential to be a fat chick and everyone knows the fat chicks are sluttier and more wild in bed than skinny chicks.

    #12 | Comment by SpankMonkey — October 9, 2005 @ 10:16 pm

13. 

    everyone knows only fagays read Esquire.

    this makes any opinion they have on girls, null and void. they should stick to telling metrosexuals how to moisturize and where to get pedicures.

    Alba win!

    #13 | Comment by AngelBaby — October 10, 2005 @ 12:17 am

14. 

    Angelbaby, you talk about fagays as if you aren’t one. Self-loathing?

    #14 | Comment by Nerima — October 10, 2005 @ 12:43 am

15. 

    Agrees with #11 but overall A = B. Alba has a prettier face while Biel’s looks a little bit manly.

    #15 | Comment by kiko — October 10, 2005 @ 3:30 am

16. 

    Esquire is actually an excellent magazine once you reach 25 or so. And it’s a nice counterbalance to the immaturity of my FHM subscription.

    Anway, Biel’s ass > Alba’s

    But, Alba overall > Biel

    And, America > Australia

    #16 | Comment by ButterscotchStallion — October 10, 2005 @ 4:05 am

17. 

    Team Alba. Better to fap her while she’s hot, though. She’ll be an axe handle across the ass in no time. FAP ON!

    #17 | Comment by Socially Unacceptale — October 10, 2005 @ 5:55 am

18. 

    Jessica Biel is way prettier than Alba. And who cares about Ralph…

    #18 | Comment by Favre — October 10, 2005 @ 6:35 am

19. 

    Biel prettier than Alba?

    Hahahaha

    #19 | Comment by ButterscotchStallion — October 10, 2005 @ 7:19 am

20. 

    sorry if i insulted your favorite mag #14.

    i bet you have a lifetime subscription to GQ as well, you big fairy.

    not that there’s anything wrong with that…

    #20 | Comment by AngelBaby — October 10, 2005 @ 7:21 am

21. 

    I love you AngelBaby

    #21 | Comment by SpankMonkey — October 10, 2005 @ 8:33 am

22. 

    #9 got it right, both mags are wrong. I could probably go drinking with someone like Jessica Biel, but I wouldn’t call her sexy. And while Jessica Alba might have a tight bod, I’m not sure if there’s anything between the ears, so she’s about the equivalent of a blow up sex doll. I wouldn’t bang my drinking buddy or a blow doll, so thumbs down on Esquire and Ralph.

    #22 | Comment by council24 — October 10, 2005 @ 2:21 pm

23. 

    Biels: Possibly up for some Butt Love.
    Alba: Probably has some major daddy issues and I concur with #22, about as bright as a fridge bulb.

    #23 | Comment by Smiley — October 10, 2005 @ 4:56 pm

24. 

    They both walk and act like thy’re the hottest shit on the planet. Wrong. They’re so busy looking at themselves they don’t notice the weather . But I’d still ass fuck them both until they cried.

    #24 | Comment by Socially Unacceptale — October 11, 2005 @ 10:22 pm

25. 

    Alba > Biel

    But #24 is spot on. Far better catch in the seas.

    #25 | Comment by Bronson — October 12, 2005 @ 12:45 am

26. 

    tough one.
    Both are hot, but I’m not going to spill any sauce over either if you know what I’m saying.
    Sadly it comes down to the face, and I give it to Biel because she has more character.
    Alba is like the girl you date and dump just for bragging rights. Biel looks like a girl you’d stay with and be happy as hell that she looks hot naked.

    #26 | Comment by super — October 12, 2005 @ 8:07 am

27. 

    i was in agreement that b>a untill looking at these pictorals. are those cleaverly covered up soars on a lot of the beil pictures? take a close look at her left your right side of her upper lip in some of the closeups.

    #27 | Comment by andy — October 14, 2005 @ 3:17 pm

28. 

    I am not in agreement here. Alba is way hotter. both are hot, but Alba is hotter.

    #28 | Comment by notadumbass — October 15, 2005 @ 2:02 pm