Based on a true story!

Dear driver of red Honda Civic, license #37537,

I hate you. I want to take your muffler (with dual exhaust pipes) and beat you senseless with it. Not in a violent way, but in a way where you learn what happens when you cut people off. You see, the reason I chose to drive in the left lane was because I knew that I was approaching a series of poles which confined me to my side of the road. You, obviously distracted by the glow of the LEDs on your hood or your chrome windshield wipers, completely overlooked this fact. So, about five feet before you were forced to choose a lane, you decided to choose the one that I was already in.

Good for you! But unfortunately, I don’t really give a crap about my car, and am looking for someone to hit me. It was dumb luck that I had not yet accelerated to the point where I would have done enough damage to make the “accident” worth it. Were it not for the disappointment caused by my inability to ram into the side of your car, I might have followed you home, ripped the spoiler off of your car, taken a crap on it, then used the spoiler to smear said feces over your car, completing the metamorphosis you are imposing on your tricked out ride.

Instead though, I choose to taunt you over the Internet, on a website I doubt you’ll ever read, after driving home in my 1985 piece of crap car. Here, I am cool and pretentious, thus allowing me to poke fun at you though I am a complete loser in real life.

God I’m lonely.

8 thoughts on “Based on a true story!

  1. I’ve decided to mount a turret on the roof of my car for ass holes such as you described……now….I look forward to people getting in my way *evil grin*, hehe, then I can just blow them the fuck outa the free way รขโ‚ฌโ€œ YEAH!!!! DIE CUT-OFFERS DIE!!!!!!!!

    P.S. Wow, the first comment, yay how gay…….oh by the way, I’m not gay so ladies feel free to pounce me (as previously mentioned by Raze).

    #1 | Comment by Kevin — August 2, 2003 @ 12:38 pm

  2. The comments thing is a bit tweaked, as is the rest of the links on the site, at least for me anyways…

    #2 | Comment by PacManJesus — August 2, 2003 @ 1:21 pm

  3. People that drive like shit should be shot. ๐Ÿ™‚ Blow them all away. Well, off to a wonderful week of boring "teen camp"

    …This one time at band camp… nevermind.


    #3 | Comment by kinkiekitten — August 2, 2003 @ 4:21 pm

  4. Woah! Kinkie kitten, finish your story.

    #4 | Comment by Kevin — August 2, 2003 @ 4:34 pm

  5. KEVIN SAYS: P.S. Wow, the first comment, yay how gay…….oh by the way, I’m not gay so ladies feel free to pounce me (as previously mentioned by Raze).

    Just saying that makes you freakin’ gay. I’ll pounce you alright, with my 12 inch meat sausage.


    #5 | Comment by lickweed — August 2, 2003 @ 4:37 pm

  6. GAY.

    #6 | Comment by Bubba — August 2, 2003 @ 4:49 pm

  7. speaking of one time at band camp.. wanna see a fucked up shirt, then go here

    maybe a kinkiekitten shirt?

    #7 | Comment by jb — August 3, 2003 @ 6:29 am

  8. Here, here!

    Damn Ricers… I’d like to beat them with wet towels.

    #8 | Comment by thefelinepunk — August 3, 2003 @ 8:17 pm

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